i know i am strong enough but the truth is that i am unable to let go of this man! i dont know why am i behaving so stupidly. over the past few months i have struggled with my life so much. i have become the person i would never want to, done things i never would and all he has done is take advantage of me in everyway and treat me so badly!
sometimes it makes me so angry and i want to make him feel as bad as me. that's one of the reasons why i dont want to just walk away because i'll be letting him off easy. but then a part of me thinks that why should i destroy my life to make him feel bad and then another stupid part reasons telling that this is what will make him feel bad. i want to hate him so badly for everything that he is done to me. once upon a time he went mad convincing me he's not a player and now he just wants to hurt me even when i stay aloof!
like yesterday he pinged me online asking me to set him on a date with some girl when he knows that i dont know any single girls and what feelings i have for him and makes up stupid reasons to fight with me! he invites my friends and leaves me out and they all go out on a weekend! how can i carry on normally!! i hate him for this and i want to make him pay so badly.
its not like i dont have anyone else in my life. my ex boyfriend with whom i was for 4 years is one of the most amazing guys i have ever known but our long distance thing didnt work out properly. inspite of knowing this entire issue he still wants me back and supports me emotionally.
the irony of life is that you either love the wrong person or when the person is right, time is never with you