You are beyond words marvelous!
“Ivy”…Hmm… Symbolically “Ivy” has both positive and truly negative meanings (which ones are you referring to).Hans, another thing, I just want to make sure that the person is alive! For, my gut tells me it is the spirit that has been watching me! You may call me crazy!
Also, you tell me I by not being indifferent I am harming myself! In what way am I harming myself? My dilemma is that my passion and the sole reason I live is to help others! Helping others gives me a reason to live! Thus, I will find it very hard to suddenly become indifferent. Do I really have to stop giving support to my friends? How am I going to be able to do that? For, they rely on me! I care about people. I really do!!
Yes, so I just found out the other woman is pregnant! And, really I am not jealous, for I love children above all, even if, I would want children of my own one day… I guess, that just has not been/is not God’s plan for me!?! But, I sure want to find out what his plan is for me… Thus, I will take your advice more than willingly!! Hans, anything else I need to do/focus on during this month? I want to start to live… I want to find myself!!
Yet, I kind of do understand what you mean… For, I am full of other people’s sorrow, death and pain… Yet, all of this I keep hidden deep inside of me and will not let anybody see!
Even so, I will listen to your advice. I will try to be indifferent for a month!! I’ll start after the Holiday’s. I just feel I have too much LOVE to give to others over the Holidays!! I won’t miss that opportunity!! But, after that I will start!! Then, I shall become a watcher and hopefully get more insight in what you are trying to tell me! I will let you know how it goes and if I make any progress…
For I really want to know what God hopes for me and I have done so, even more, ever since the Angel came and spoke to me about my important mission that I have not fulfilled yet! I really just don’t know what I could do? I simply have no clue? Mind you though, I would really want to!!
Once again, Hans, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and all you done for me!!