Being an Aquarius is without question an unusual experience. In me, it manifests in such a pervasive manner, it seems to be the crust, mantle, and core of my entire being. I am cool and detached, objective, analytical to a fault, and so independent it can actually be painful. I am simultaneously many extremes. Things that would normally not co-exist together seem to mesh harmoniously within me. I have spent a fair amount of time developing and understanding myself. I think in order to be able to effectively and meaningfully interact with others, it is essential to know the self first. I have a very male spirit, don't really understand most females at all, but I am also very in touch with my feminine aspects. I am a mother of five boys, and almost exclusively keep the company of nothing but boys and men, with the exception of female family members. This has been true of me my whole life. I am not particularly tolerant of typical female behavior and grow weary of shallow, petty minded people of any gender rapidly.
I am a barrier spanner and will seek to resolve conflict where I find it without taking sides. But, I will also play devil's advocate in situations where I actually have my own strong opinions because I know the validity of introducing the opposition when it is distinctly absent. I tend to make people think about their own positions on issues without even meaning to do so. I seem to set trends, which has always annoyed me because I don't follow them, and would love to see everyone forging their own paths instead of thoughtlessly wandering around behind a leader. I also loathe being imitated, I don't find it to be any form of flattery, much less the highest! I have always processed it as an encroachment on my individuality and because I don't belong to groups or cliques, seen it as a false link to such things when I find others doing what I have been doing alone, of my own accord, for ages before these groups emerged. It will actually force me to rethink my external projections of personality, even hide them, to keep from being mis-identified with certain collectives.
I am very verbal, heavy headed, and happily melancholic...(again, one of those unnatural extreme opposite things) But I have some retrogrades in my natal chart that lead me to believe they are the root of things of that nature.
I can be frighteningly quiet, or literally talk your ears off. My energy will communicate a mood to an entire room of people without me saying a word, or behaving in any particular way. Much less, applying intent. I can try NOT to and it will still bear an strong impact. And by the same token, I am extremely sensitive and perceptive to the energy of others. On the flip side of that, there are times I am so oblivious about some things, like ,if someone is coming on to me, or likes me a lot, I will miss it by miles. There are things that I'll feel taking shape long before anyone else has a clue anything is even happening, and then there are things in my face that I may never see unless someone screams, points, and jumps up and down about them. It is those things that will shock me, dumbfound me, and take me a good while to take stock of and absorb.
I am happiest when traveling. I have gypsy blood and a curiosity about many things that is positively insatiable. There is a restlessness to me that I cannot seem to quell at times. And yet, I can be alone and at peace, quite contentedly for long periods of time and experience no loneliness at all. Often, the times I feel the most lonely are in rooms full of people with whom I can find no common thread.
I find it exhausting to be me, think I over complicate almost everything and I am sure I think too much. However, I wouldn't have things simple for a minute, and if my life were dull and boring and not laden with dramatic detail, I would surely perish, rapidly.
The best explanation for who and what I am generally comes down to being something alien to this world. I am an anomaly of sorts and can't really even begin to digest what it all might possibly mean, much less convey such an intangible to others.
I think it probably doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, but on some level,suspect it might actually be very important. I think for me, it's things like this that make the Aquarius experience what it is. I have been this way from birth. I don't think I could have chosen it if I had wanted to, nor do I believe I could change it if I tried. I think this sign is possibly one of the most integrated, complex, and diverse of all the signs of the zodiac. If you consider that we must all pass through the wheel of the year in our journeys through life, this sign seems to not only pass through them, but to pick them up, incorporate them, and understand them in ways that the rest of the signs aren't made to. We can relate to many different people, but don't really get the same understanding back from those to whom we can relate. This is one of the reasons I think we tend to be a little emotionally detached from everyone else. Or at least seem to them to be. Any Aquarius reading this knows that we have feelings, possibly some of the strongest of all, but just refuse to divulge them to others. There are times we get so good at it, we can refuse to divulge them to ourselves. I think we possess so much diversity, it makes us difficult for others to comprehend. And that diversity is precisely what makes us capable of our unique brand of objectivity and understanding of so many different people and things.
This is clearly something about which I could drone on for decades, there's no good starting point nor place to conclude, so I will have to force one here, in the interest of practicality.
I have read back over what I've written and it reminds me of what people often say about the obtuse Aquarius methods of communication, we can talk all day without saying a thing, or speak volumes having said nothing at all.
Thanks for indulging me, either way!