Hey Aries 9986,
well we met diving - 1st plus cause we love the same thing, common interests are very
important for Virgos, they want their women to be good buddies and if he likes active life
(hiking, skiing, diving) he would prefer to have his woman next to him, at least in half of
the cases, because if u sit home and do nothing he will get bored with u very soon.
Although my Virgo used to stay with a woman like this for 18 years but I think it was more
of the convenience for him to have somebody at home waiting. He cheated on her all the time
but at the end never made commitment to her, she is in the mental house now, no kidding.
Thats how Virgo can affect other people.
How he makes me crazy? Well, the things between us went as bad as our arguments ended up in
the police station and one other argument was a bloody one. Im not an aggressive person and
I never had such fights in any of my relationships. What makes me especially crazy is that
he makes me wait all the time and he doesnt support his words with the actions, acts as a
hypocrite very often. If I ask something he would say "not now, Im not ready now etc etc"
and make me wait days and weeks. How good are Aries with patience? :)) Another thing is sex
and affection: in the beginning they lovy-dovy and then when you stay with them for a week
or so they turn into an iceberg. And you are left wondering what happen. When u talk abt
this he would say "all my previous girlfriends complained about the same thing". Only in a
year when you get very close to him after all the peripetias he can relax for a while and
let his wall down but then another issue appears: all what he attracted you with (care and
tenderness in the beginning) disappear and he becomes very selfish making you feel you are
used. I mean he doesnt do it on purpose but if he needs something - you should leave
everything you were doing at the moment, forget about all you need to do and run like a dog
helping him to do his thing. If you need something like this he will only sacrifice his
time if it is his free time otherwise (if he wants to sleep or watch TV, needs to work etc)
he won't do anything for you. Then when you bring the issue up he would say "Im tired of
being criticised all the time" or he will tell you all the beautiful words to make you
believe you are the most important thing in his life but then again he won't support it
with the actions. I don't care what the man says I make my decision by what he does and in
the beginning this guy made an impression that he is the man of the word and he shows by
action how much he cares but with the time I realise how much he bullshit other people by
grande words. Virgos are very good orators and salesmen - they will assure you in anything
words and make you believe whatever they want but how often they mean what they say and are
going to make what they said - this is an unanswered question.
We lived together for 2 months in a row maximum because we are from different countries and
it takes some time to figure out what country can be our base because I dont want to live
in his country and he cannot live in my country we have to find a third one and it seems we
found one but still its not so easy to leave the life you used to behind.
So the relationship developed as following:
We met in a diving shop, he got interested in me, asked me many questions, I was very
reserved, I had a boyfriend at the time and wasnt very interested in him. Next day we go
for common hobby (diving) and spend all day communicating, mutual interest arises.
I continue my travel next day (another city, 1 hour away), he suggests me a lift, rents a
car and brings me to the beach. We spend 2 days together and get very interested in each
other. He asks me to come back and stay with him but I continue with my plan and go
further. In a week he comes to visit me for my birthday in another city (flies there, books
5* hotel etc), we spend a wonderful 4 days together but nobody knows if we gonna meet
again. He leaves to his country, sad, doesn't hide it, I say that I have a feeling we never
see each other again, acting pretty cold. I think we Aries are common in being too straight
forward sometimes and speaking before thinking But I wasnt too concerned at the time
anyway. He invites me to his home city and in 40 days we meet again. At his place he starts
act weird (cold), like he would avoid kissing&hugging me or doing it briefly, not as it was
when we met. He makes up an exuse that he was alone for the last 5 years and is not used to
have a woman around and also that Im the 1st woman he invites to his house where he lives
12 years and it feels weird to see somebody else in his house. Another thing that shocked
me was that he turned down my offer of the bj, wtf? you just sit there and watch TV, let me
do everything, no if he doesnt feel like it he wont let u do anything. Afterwards and still
(1 year later) he keeps doing/refusing it from time to time but cannot explain why. I think
its time to go to sex therapist or something. Age is not an excuse cause Ive seen more
horny guys over 50 than under 20 yo.
After this we dont see each other for 2 months because I left to my home country. In-
between we talk enough, the communication was sweet but couple of times he would disappear
for several days making me worry. I would think he died and then he would say "I didnt feel
like talking to anybody". All I asked was just brief text message that he is alive - not
talking!!! At the same time if I do this he would go crazy and ask me never do it again
because he worries about me. As previously written: Virgos like to control but not being
controlled. What abt Aries? I think we pretty much the same in this thing so.. who wins?
2 months later he comes to visit me for 10 days in my home country, we travel around and
here I get first red flags: when he starts yelling at me too much for no big reason and it
turns to a big argument and accusation how bad I am I say "ok, here is your ticket you can
continue your travel alone, I bring you to the airport etc", he gets really paranoiac
(cannot be explained just by the fact that he doesnt speak the language, there are still
some people who speak his language and I suggested to bring him to the taxi/airport)? he
wants to call his embassy etc, later on when the issue looks solved he gets furious because
he wanted a day to relax and I still wanted to show him nice things. He explains it with
his health issues (he did have problems with his leg) but still I think its not the reason
to call me names, everything can be explained in a civilised way and a compromise and
mutual understanding can be reached. Not in a Virgo world though,vbecause they cannot be
open, they have to hide under their shell all their life and it does hurt them anyways
because they come out when its too late, the other person is tired to figure them out and
So how to deal with Virgos? Be prepared wait all your life so they can open to you and
"read between the lines" - dont take what they say literally. Here is an example: after all
troubles we had he invites me to live with him and I decide to give it a try, in 3 weeks at
his house he tries to kick me out 5 times and when I finally pack my bags and ready to
leave he starts to attack and insult me, pushes me around until it turns in uncontrollable
fight and I end up arrested because I was threatening him to call the police (I was never
going to do it but if I did he would have been in a big trouble), so what this coward does?
he calls the police himself and make it look as if I attacked him. Im a foreigner and it
was him who called the police so the case is in his favor. Anyway, the case was dismissed
and 1,5 months later we got back together in another country again and when he tried to
blame me that I never really made commitment to him and didnt wanna move with him I say
"Hey, I moved with u but u kicked me out", he would say "I never did". Im like "u wanna see
the police report?!" on what he would say "Why you always have to rub my nose in the things
in the past?". I wouldnt do it if you didnt deny the truth! We lasted 10 days this time and
I left him after he got violent again and since we are addicted to each other month later
we moved together again. During 2 months together he tried to kick me out couple of times
and I asked him later "why you keep doing this?" and then he tells me "Oh, I dont kick you
out! I just mean that you with your bullshit go out behind that door."
So it took me half a year to understand that when my Virgo says "Get the f..k out of here"
and throws my bags in the hall it just means that he doesnt like what Im saying and all I
should do is shut up and leave him alone for a while. How does that sound?
So, Aries, to deal with the Virgo you should keep biting your tongue when you wanna say
something critical or something that can hurt your gentle Virgo, especially when he is in a
bad mood and swallow it forever or keep it for a better days, and dont forget to sugarcoat
every "sour pill" you are going to give him.
You might think Im a cruel woman and say only bad things to my Virgo that he cannot take
but I learnt pretty quickly to shut up when he is in a bad mood, just let him lecturing you
etc etc, although then he will get annoyed that you are silent. The best way to express how
I feel next to my Virgo is this: imagine you are in an empty room and you have to find a
position to be in this room but you cannot sit, you cannot lie, you cannot stand, you
cannot fly (or walk, run, move whatever) - how does it make you feel? The "police case"
started from an innocent thing: he walked away from me in a big shop he spent over 2 hours
and one moment I got bored of following him and just went my way, so he called me an
as.hole because I (!) walked away on him and kept insulting me in the car, I was silent all
way home and then left him for 30 min alone (like it says in the recipy :), when I came
back my X called me, I didnt talk to him for 2 years and he needed my support, since I used
a foreign phone I had bad reception inside the buildings so I went to talk on the balcony
for around 25 minutes. My Virgo interpreted it as I have something to hide and told me to
leave his house the next day and I was going to just as he said, without extra comments.
The rest (how it has ended) you read earlier
Making a long story short: If you want to enjoy tenderness and love of your Virgo which
happens as often as he finds spare time for this (like every time before he falls asleep),
you probably read earlier in the thread that Virgos are workaholics and spare time is a
luxury as their care for you very luxury too but every time you are boiling and ready to
leave him he will take some time and explain everything in a way you wanna hear, he will
tell you that all he does is for you: his hard work etc, that on the weekends and evenings
he needs to watch TV because it keeps him away from his worrying thoughts (so u better dont
disturb him at this moments too) and then he also needs lots of time on his own. The only
thing he will never refuse or turn down is the massage or rub on the back, this feel free
to do 24 hours a day! But honestly the more you spoil them the worse they get, so I suggest
when your tenderness and love reserve is out and you feel like you give him 90% and he
gives you 10% - stop doing it and just do your thing - take care of your business until he
feels something lacking in his life and figures out how to get it back.
I know you are more interested in the seduction of your Virgo rather than maintaining life
with him at this stage. Well, actually I think I meant not writing him for 3 days, not 3
weeks (sorry for the mistake, I hope I didnt ruin ur relationship) But what I really
meant is dont make him feel like he got you in his pocket or like he can predict everything
you do - surprise him, write in a different style, e.g. after some affectionate letters
keep it more down to earth or even cold. If you think he got used to your every day
messages or e-mails - write him with a pause, like 2-3 days. Be creative. Write his name or
how u feel about him on the sand (if the beach is near or on the snow :)), ask someone to
take a picture of you with it and send him. Dont expect any answer or dont ask what he
thinks abt it, pretend u never sent it or u feel shy abt it.
Tell him u got a great job offer in town B which is 30-60 min drive from his house/town and
ask him what he thinks abt this town, area, job offer. Try to be convincing and if he finds
out u r lying just say you wanted to get closer to him and didnt know how to do it. If you
ask him what he thinks if u move to his city to be closer to him he will panic and probably
disappear, its too much of responsibility for him, so any message you wanna give him start
it with some innocent hints and try to figure out what he really thinks by his reaction.