Oh well, no offends to any gem guy!

But it seems even they are (most of the time anyway) straight forward, sometimes not consiously aware of that the way they say things might hurt their partner (sure when you speak up and let him know, he appologize...because he really don't mean to hurt the ones he care for in the first place!

But when it goes the opposite way around they can be extremly sensitve, feeling offended!

and could be getting busy with something, else ( not saying another women)

Gems get bored hearing things they sound like a repetition............so ...mybe this is a bit boring to the male gems in here.......but we're just communicating, seeking for an advice or see ourselves through others!

Talk can help a lot! At least don't let us feel like it only happens to us.............just that can be a great relieve sometimes!

Exchanging experience neve hurt anybody.............so, don't we all like to talk about things/situations which bother us in our soul and mind!

It can help to see clearer or collect ourselves, so we can see the way again we've to go........I believe in following my gut!

It's good that there are communities like this....it's up to each and everyone, just to be curious what it's all about.......at the end we decide for our own we have to/ should anyway!

What's good for others can be totally wrong for somebody, else!

There are people they feel connected just by meeting first time, talking for a few sec...........no matter what signs..but there is a certain similarity between same signs........considering all the other stuff ( childhood, influence through situation we'd to manage or destiny etc)

And some just don't seem to match.............at the end we are all unic in our very own way!

to librasliar,

you are definitely right............libra women try till it's really over, than their won't be no coming back......I made mistake with my exhusband and my exboyfriend!

Let them take me almost to far! Yes we always try to understand everbody.........try to balance things out and some times we are the fool at the end...........just for trying to solve things, accepting people who are totally oposite from us..........and having a lot of patience with others, but none with ourselfs...........at least me libra woman!

As far libra female /capricorn male I can't say to much! Just know one couple............but they still in love with eachothers since 15 yrs now!

Sure they had ups and downs but both of them wanted to make it work.so at the end (at least for now) it seems like they've made it!

but it's always if two have the same goals charing the way to get there togehter, respect and accept eachothers differencies, it can work out...........

Yes, a stable, trustworthy, solid relationship is really hard work....never take you partner for granted!

Me, I never forgot (even I'd a very bad marriage (picses)and at the end a very bad relationship (taurus), because I had to much understanding and patience, gave in to many times, just to keep harmony and peace, left myself on the side,................but never forgot how it startet..that way it made it easier for me to let go of both of them, because it just didn't work out!

Take care of you!

Anni

Yes libra men can be like this! I've seen this with my dad and my 2 brother.also 2 friends of mine!

They do make sure once they are happy with a woman to keep and also please her!

While can be the most loyal one to you and your best friend in the first place, also!

They hate game to be played but love openess!

They do know what they have to deal with and give everything once they truly in love!

And they are also emotional and if they not able to tell you, they sure have a sometimes childisch but sweet way to tell you or show you how they really feel!

Like I've said 3 libra men in my family so close and I'm a libra myself (well, there is a differents --male..females) anyhow............they very easy going, sociable and flirts, too...but when you the chosen one......you will also be the person of their desire and passion!

Wish you luck with all y heart!

Anni

Hi Christine

I also wish the two of you the best and that it will turn out the way you're wishing for!

Even 'my gem' hasn't contact me till today I still hope he will! I sure don't want to rember him as a coward and ignorant person!

That would blow my whole world off............I just do not understand all this!

So I'm keeping myself very busy.and as far I mentioned before...maybe I even overdo it these weeks!

But I just can't the way I feel since he started to keep silence get me down! Sure can't afford it right now. Have to much to do and to many things going on at the moment needing my full attention and strengh!

I don't listen to music these days, because it really makes me so sad and then I even miss him more as far this is poosible (don't think so )

Not even watching sort of romantic movies (makes me cry...which would be ok, then I might pitty myself ( like: why me? Why so close to almost had reach my destination etc), which I can't stand at all!

I try not to think of him every single sec...........which is very difficult...when I'm around friends, it seems to be better first, but then I always think it would be just great him being here, too, right at my side....or I could live with him (wouldn't have all this water between us anymore eighter) already how we've planned it :-(!

So but now I do need to get some sleep!

Just finish talking to my very best friend and it's going for 1.30 am here!

Still earlier than the last weeks

So I will get back with you..........and I feel like you, too!

I also believe we could be great friends, but who knows, I jus tmight come and visit you one day??

You also take care of you and thanks a lot for your concern! It helps a bit, but sure feels good

So for now.......(not to long tonight ) but my fingers, hands, arms seem like they just working slow motion and sure feelthey they weight a mill... tons!

So, big hug! (Bet you still enjoying the sun?!!

Anni

Jazz......seemed like you also went through to much for one life already

I really can feel you! and I hear the strengh in you!

Loosing some we love is terrible pain...can say this firsthanded, also!

But it seems and sure feels, at least to me, that we come out stronger, too!

That the ones we've lost, help our grieving souls to recover and be strong to keep moving!

Like they support us, even we can't see them in person anymore, but by heart and soul! They always will be with us!!!inside of us.....a part of us....that's what makes us stronger..........helping us going through rough situations always they'll be with us!

I do have to go for now........but I believe sometimes a few lines, say more than a long strory! But I definitely want to here more......I'm just feeling so very exhaused.through the last two weeks I've only slept about 2 hrs a night!

The adrenalin is kicking in supported from to much cigaretts and coffee and runarounds!

So as far I had 2 breakdowns in 2 ´months in 2005 (that's why I couldn't fly and visit 'my gem' that year) ended up in the hospital both times still being unconcess!

My kids had to call emergency and I don't want this to be repeated! They where in deep shock then, because they always believed Mom never gets tired and is always moving.............so, today I felt great, well walking with my closest friend! We've started this a while ago! I mean straight fast walking....:-) feels good.emotion might you just keep going as far you'd some sleep! She's also a libra, a very dear woman, also 3 kids, that's where I know her from kindergarden back in 1993 when my twins and her daughter just started to join the kindergarden and we were connected from the very first moment till know!

She is also in love with a gem! Since now, almost 2 yrs!

As far her husband was her first man period and got married to him, having a family, actually "just" being housewife, wife and mother she really never had a chance to really live her own life and let ther "who she is" turn to the outside!

Now she is struggling to make a move......she knows exactly what she wants!

Her husband was taking her for grantet throughout the years and as far him being her first man....she believed that's jus thow it is!

She hasn't been happy for years already missing out on something she really couldn't tell what it was, before she met this gem man! Through him.......she finally could be herself..after she started to see him!

She felt being loved the first time in her life ( exept the love from her children, which is the most precious thing on earth anyway!.......she grew up with a sis and a brother....while she really was treated first place, no matter what she did was good enough...and she felt ugly, too)

Loved from a man..........she really started to look like a blooming rose!

This gem is waiting now, 2 yrs for her!!!!!!!!! because she'll make this move, now that her kids are more mature, responsible and aable to take care of themselves. The oldest has moved out already just like mine!

We do have .actually till now almost everything in common! Hobbies, creativity, deep minded, analizing.......helping......etc etc. and she never ever thought of herself, before not everybody else was satified.........then she just was to tired to do anything for herself!

I felt just fine and tired, but I couldn't do what I wanted to do, to get a bit of peace and relaxation!! My twins and their boy/girlfriend were home already, plus I'm giving shelter to a 17 yr old girl for almost 8 weeks! Her mother had just kicked her her!

As far she just came the Germany 'by the orders' of her mother 5 yrs ago.took german school, is great. college right know, speaks proper German.....(she's from Jamaica) and became friends with my son first through playing also basketball and she's doing my twins hair, too

So ..........these weeks always sombody is home, leaves or comes back home, a steady moving here!

I just realize when I jumped in here.just wanted to check for a sec :-))))), lololol..........

how exhausted I really am after these weeks, body is talking to me.I used to ignore these signs till I woke up in the hospital twice in a short time.....made me scared, too!

I was going for 51 back then..and my Love for my gem gave me wings.well as far I don't have any I hit the fround so hard that I could have died! Heavy brainconcausion)Spelling?)

Needed once 7 stitches, 2nd time 5! Doctor told me I've a very hard head they'd really did break 2 needles sewing my wound back up I thought that was funny!

The 1st scarf is shaped like a star, the doctors were kind a facinated about that! First I thought they were teasing me..because I still felt very dizzy, head banging like crazy, feeling like I was still not all by my full senses!

So he brought me a mirrrow so I can see for myself......and there it was he was right! A five star-star! Was funny back then, because when I still was married , everybody called us ' The Jackson 5'! I'm a married Jackson! Thes days it's very sad..but the first time I'm kind a proudalso to carry this name. Crazy., isn't it!

Jazz, I just wanted to drop by to say 'Hello' and see what's new on the board, so for now, I will cut the PC off so it'll get some rest, too!

So you take very well care of yourself..........and I'll 'see' you in here!!!!!

Bless you and your son! Big Hug cross the water

Anni

P.S. don't get to much respondence or comments in here anymore.maybe because I'm writing tooooooooooooooooo lmuch???????????? lol

When I've met 'my gem' 25 yrs. ago, after the first eye contact (love at first side) he didn't leave my sight anymore..........he even sacrified his needed sleep, no matter whether I've told him to go home!

We danced the nights trough till the day came up!

I always did accompany him to his barracks, which was a 45 min. ride from where I leave and caught the train back, just to have enough time to get in the shower, swallow a huge cup a coffee and get dressed again!

Whenever we had off time, we've been together, every single sec.

It was in heaven.......we've done crazy things. like when he put me on he shoulders, like a 2 yr old, wlaking down the main attraction road in Stuttgart (Lots of people all the time) we laughed and joke and were very amused by the partwise stupid faces people made.to see a 30 yr old (was told look like 21 or so, him just 24) we didn't care about others opinions........we didn't hurt anybody or causing any harm to nobody!

Most most looks we'd received were very friendly and filt with smile!

Also the time we went to an exclusive restaurant.....after the waiter brought us the menue...before we even where finished looking it all the way through, he grapped me by my hand on pulled me on his lap! I bet you can imaging the looks we've received back then.

It made as laugh, relaly like 2 kids, just enjoying a great time together!

Well we started to kiss...and we forgot where we were......just kissing till the waiter made himself us paying attention to him!

We looked at him...........when he asked for our orders............my love and I looked into eachothers eyes.....looked up to the waiter and told him the same words at the same time ( guess the waiter thought he's hearing an echoe .-) ).........we'd told him wthat we are not hungry anymore...and changed our minds.........he ask if we want something to drink at least.........same proceedure!

We grapped our jackets, he helped me in, always gentleman! as he was!..........laught out loud, put smiles on everybody we'd to pass and started to walk around town......till we ended up on the dancefloor again.............

We've just matched..........like yin and yon!

Sure we had only ten weeks left before his take off........but we spend very quality time together whenever we could!

How it went on, I did post in here, at least the first part!

Well know after 25 years, we decided that I move to the US, my kids (23, twins 19 yrs. don't want to join me..being in a relationship! we'd always stayed in touch since way back then, till 3 yrs. ago I finally could visit him....after him and me always involved till 2002!

We've made plans and still it took me 4 yrs. to finally see him again after 21 yrs!!!!!!!!!

First time...........it felt like coming home..falling into eachothers arms at the airport!

Sure I did send him photos....I mean 21 yrs............he said I haven't changed a bit ( Lol), charmer..........and sure he did change, as well.....belly, I do love it....rounder face....and that time he carried a full grey beard! Made him look older..and the first sec. I stood and force my eyes into his.....an there it was, still love, passion and everything............

We were so so happy, no feeling of being strangers......of course we were communicating as much as possible through 21 yrs!

I was kind afraid......he might not like me anymore...a short affair with a handsome soldier, back then.............but first he stayed in touch..we kept this going............so someone speciall.........sure I looked nice back then, slim, sportive, 5,6 high, 120 pounds! Everything was at the right place!

Throughout those 21 yrs.........I had 3 more children, like I've mentioned already! The twins (boy and girl) also gems 10th of June, my loves b-day 20th, should have been their b-day....but I didn't have any space left inside of me :-))))))))))), so I had to kick them out before they had made my belly bust! .-) well so I was very shy at first......my intension to get on that plane was to see , how we feel for eachother.........eye to eye after all this time!

Nothing had changed and he did admire me for me haven't not change by just turning 52 then!

Yes he is younger...exactly 6 1/2 yrs.

So I was so shy...............dark lights...........towel rapped around, doors locking....stuff like this.....

from the first sec after meeting at the airport it was clear to both of us, it's not just all about friendship

The wet hands, heartbeat as loud the whole airport could possible hear it...blushing......legs feeling like made of balloons...........the whole list............and that fire between us..............

so.after some time 10 days....we became lovers again........he didn't want me to leave anymore......wanted to keep me there! Finally after all this time......he would make sure we'll stay togehter and nothing let come between us anymore!

Hey what else could you ask for?

So I did spent 4 times 6 weeks there.....we were very straight with eacht other......not much to complain!

It was not really like being on vacations with him................he had to work.........shifts............

so actually I jumped into his routine.................he loved for me being there....having a nice delicious mela cooked alread...a cold fresh beer or water safed.....when 2nd shift.candle around and the place claened......everything taken care of!

He had to work..and I was there long hours to myself..............so I'm not ment to do nothing.........was no trouble...dishwasher, dryer.......just the 2 of us!

Don't have all this her in Germany...........my hands...and a hanger.for the clothes...lots of as far you can imagine..........teenagers

Well, got to go for know!!!!!!!!!!

Take care guys!

Anni

To all of you.............can do better with this still foreign language to me............out a school quiet a long time

but I'm in a strange emotional mood................and my fingers don't typ I fast I want to..........so sorry about the lots of lousy mistakes I'm making!

Tingleberts,

yes I think it's quiet interresting to read about yourself from people you've never met!

But like we agree on eachother, everyone is still unic in their very own ways........don't worry I'm not gonna write 'a story' to you now, as well! :-)))))))))))

Also I do know, the only one who can answer my 'WHY' is 'my gem', but obviously he took the back door!

Never believed he would act like a chicken..not afte 25 yrs and a very strong 6 yrs. long distant realetionship and visits quiet a few times................turn out just great, spending time with eachother, finally!!!!!!!!

Leaving me knowing I'm packing up.going trough all the trouble with landlord, authorites ( especially) and and.............just keeping silence in the middle of progress!

I might become very idiotic for one time and just fly there.......make a real ass out of myself.....jus thim having to face me.........if he would pretend ( would be the biggest shock in my live putting me in a trauma for the rest in my live, propably killing all my heart, leaving me numb and emty, at least I woudn't feel any more pain eighter .-( )

I just need to know ' WHY' ( that's not going out to you or anybody else in here)

I can't move onn like this..just want/need to know "WHY"..and I do deserve it................this WHY, finally to be answered!

So right now it seems I don't have no other choice.what could I loose? my dignity, selfrespect....respect from my people her (well they know me good enough to at least being able to tolerate, accept it)

It's just a very sad story...............see I do not want to start 'hating' him!

Not for he might ( believe it at least right now) messing around, or even might have falling for someone,else. Sure would be a shock to be after he want me to move there, so no more back and forwards anymore...ask me to marry him....not to be able to stay in the US....but to have more security...........and because he wanted to.........................

If there's somone else, l just want him to be happy...............even I'll be very damaged for the rest of my life , never be able to let some other guy get close to me no more.....he is my life!

Anni

JoeyGail,

when I read over your post, I could get the idea we're talking about the same guy here

Don't have much time right now!

Am going to what we're calling ' Lichterfest'

This takes place every year in a huuuuuuuuuuuuge park not to far from where I live.

Littel boothes everywhere, great opportunity to get food from all over Europe of course American food as well (rips...need to be made original :--) mmmmmmmmmm.....corn, of course peanuts, puff rice, etc. etc) and of course a whole lot to drink ( I do not, if it aign't for a certain event)

Live performance, weird and crazy people you can see everywhere you look around.........it's so colourful and sure a lot of remaining Americans be there, of course! They really love stuff like this!

Everybody with a can or bottle bear in there hands! I heard ' German beer suppose to be the best, it's kind a strong, compare to 'Millers' and ' can't think of it right now'

Uih missing out of sleep really gets to me these days!

Have lost like 7 pound in 9 days now and start to look like a scelleton, somehow, especially in the face. Am 54yrs. And loosing weight is noticed in the face first............then everything what makes us different from the male sex is changing, too! Exercises are needed here, otherwise I'll be dragging my skin behind me :-))))))))))))

'My gem' is 48 yrs. And he sure looks good in his tight jeans ( Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......., miss to just put a little spank on him then.........:-( ) I love the way he smells, too, just like you said:

No matter, whether he worked at the car ( always does this himself ) moving stuff around, or coming home from work after nightshift.............or Hmmmmmmmmm......I really don't care and i love it even more, me smelling like him then.....sure don't want to take a shower then

I love his groove when we dance together no matter whether to slow jams.hmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmhm......., or without touching, holding. We sure have the same rythm ( how, else)............yes we really match.

And like you said, I sure could calm him down, even he drifted up in space..........and yes when he noticed he done me wrong, he appolizices, so I always forget, what for........

And he don't like for me to raise my voice............he said he feels then like he's attact by bombs, as hard and clear cold my voice sounds then...........he always ended it with sacing (very smoothly) Anni, end of the discussion, I'm not gonna argue with you..........because you anyway need to have the last word)

Sure I know from my friends....I intend to analize a lot..............to me a no.it's not enough to be told.i need to no why..otherwise I keep digging.......sometime he gets a bit upset..love his face then but most of the time he starts to smile at me with hes head turned to the side..telling me I sound like a 2 yr old just wants to be held and comfort! Right, he's right!

But he loves (ed) me for being me.............one of a crazy German woman you don't seem to age at all, bewared my naturality.............my temper ( need to move a lot, sure love to chill, to.but in general I do need to move)

I very much love to dance............that was our main occupation back then anyway..till he gave up after 2 hrs.......while I kept moving on 3/4 hrs more, I'm real on then.

Still like that..but back then he was just 24, now he douple his age..............but i put on the years, too!

He don't like to loose :-).................that's why he never went for my suggestion to go for a fast walk, like really fast..for a time of at least 3 hrs...............yes he can hang.....but needs breaks......he seems all that strong and long lasting........but I start of slow, hanging behind him.....but then him running out of energy, he sure doesn't have any more chance to get me

So him knowing this he just avoid certain acctivities.....like long walks............swimming bikeridingstuff like this doing with me, because he always would be just 2nd place....

he keep asking me first after we've seen eachother again after 21 yrs.. if I still can hang on the floor, I just smiled8 well he found out )

he ask me quiet a lot off times if I never get tired......sure now after aging i do, but it's more sort of exhaustion, because throuogh my life I did ignore my needs a lot, and took my self over the egde quiet often.or I had to ( my babygirl in the hospital back then).

Rising 3 kids by myself, really now help at all..............authorities gave me the runaround, they demand you being very punctuell.....otherwise they raise hell..............my girl (the twingirl was put in the hospital with cramping in a sudden fever situation ( sounds not right to me? hu my english getting bad), I didn't know what to do with her twinbrother. They just were 2 yrs old and my oldest Kristine was 4 1/2 back then.

Besides i went to the seperation year and court appointment gave hand to lawyers appointments. My now (EX husband, a picses) was still leaving at the same plays locking the rooms and causes damages to what ever he got in his hands include me....washer, phones stereo, set the bathroom under water said was an accident, dropping ro eggs on the floor spilling milk and cooks rice, etc..had no more music, couldn't phone, lucked me in the house and left taking the keys with him and and and, really wonder how I did it back the...........was 38 but the love for my children and knowing there is someone, even far away (my Gem) gave me strenght to make it through. My ex had to move out by a cord verdict..after one year of hell!! pure.....

he said he just came on to me like this because I sticked to my word leaving him, wha the never believed I woudl do having 3 young children and nobody wants me anyway anymore........I didn't care about his words, just wanted to get some peace and harmony for my babies..........this was no enviroment to raise children............this was nothing for me burring on child already before and my DAD, too ( a libra) great loving understanding very giving man he was and loved my Mom to death...........

Well I got lost again here..................yes my life is packed with destiny like most peoples life especially when your a parent..............I would live great by myself..............but I thank got for my precoius children ( uuuuuuh yeah we had war here...tehem becoming teenagers, the oldest I haven't recovered, then my twingirl, followed by her twinbrother, very aggressiv back then, no wonder....then the twingirl again.........then my oldest had heartache from her first relationship, then my twingirl with 16 1/2 and so on......................

I always suffered more than they did because I just can't stand people I love, care for struggling, being in pain or deeply sad, while I feel helpless, because those are their feelings, I just yould be there, still am for them when they feeling all blue.............Sometimes I thing I did suffer enough for my kids already so it would be spared for them.but maybe I didn't enough..tha's why it's put on me so hard that sometimes I really think, I just take off, flying to Australia............get me a little flat in the country dog and horse and grow my own food surrounded by water and roses................

grilling my food, and just go horseback riding when lonelyness hit me.......just let it fo and felling my hair blowing in the wind, my dog at my side...............feeling all free....crying it all out till I'm so exhausted that I won't be even aware off when or whether I go to sleep!

I' very realitic, but a hopeless romatic..............I fight every war for my loved ones but can't do much for myself...............always feeling guilty for some reason.........

uiiiiiiiiiiiiih.should be somewhere else already..hope it's not to much I put in here again...................gosch.....Anni, Anni.................

have to control it!

My friends and family tell me to write a book, that was years ago.., just a bit more organized :-)),

but I do believe I won't be around to finish it!

THX so much and please have patience , I can be very quiet, also ....believe it or not............am a great listener, meaning relaly to listen.................but I'm still so very confused and my emotions driving me out of my mind...................I do not have grond really under my feet.since I haven't heard from him......my only love (besides my kids and Mom, brother of course) and always will, no matter what...........

but also like you've mentioned......it seemed to me he just didn't want to realize there someone who loves him unconditional....first being his very best friend and a true partner...........because like I've mentioned before, he always kept asking why him.

He said he never ever met a woman like me, always thinking of other first even I'm only able to crawl of exhaustion.............having little money spending it on others to help them out, while i'm giving up on my own wishes or needs.............

Maybe you just can call me very stupid, even just a a dumb ass.........

Hugs !!!!

The very best to you and your man!

Anni :-((