JoeyGail,
when I read over your post, I could get the idea we're talking about the same guy here 
Don't have much time right now!
Am going to what we're calling ' Lichterfest'
This takes place every year in a huuuuuuuuuuuuge park not to far from where I live.
Littel boothes everywhere, great opportunity to get food from all over Europe of course American food as well (rips...need to be made original :--) mmmmmmmmmm.....corn, of course peanuts, puff rice, etc. etc) and of course a whole lot to drink ( I do not, if it aign't for a certain event)
Live performance, weird and crazy people you can see everywhere you look around.........it's so colourful and sure a lot of remaining Americans be there, of course! They really love stuff like this!
Everybody with a can or bottle bear in there hands! I heard ' German beer suppose to be the best, it's kind a strong, compare to 'Millers' and ' can't think of it right now'
Uih missing out of sleep really gets to me these days!
Have lost like 7 pound in 9 days now and start to look like a scelleton, somehow, especially in the face. Am 54yrs. And loosing weight is noticed in the face first............then everything what makes us different from the male sex is changing, too! Exercises are needed here, otherwise I'll be dragging my skin behind me :-))))))))))))
'My gem' is 48 yrs. And he sure looks good in his tight jeans ( Hmmmmmmmmmmmm......., miss to just put a little spank on him then.........:-( ) I love the way he smells, too, just like you said:
No matter, whether he worked at the car ( always does this himself ) moving stuff around, or coming home from work after nightshift.............or Hmmmmmmmmm......I really don't care and i love it even more, me smelling like him then.....sure don't want to take a shower then 
I love his groove when we dance together no matter whether to slow jams.hmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmhm......., or without touching, holding. We sure have the same rythm ( how, else)............yes we really match.
And like you said, I sure could calm him down, even he drifted up in space..........and yes when he noticed he done me wrong, he appolizices, so I always forget, what for........
And he don't like for me to raise my voice............he said he feels then like he's attact by bombs, as hard and clear cold my voice sounds then...........he always ended it with sacing (very smoothly) Anni, end of the discussion, I'm not gonna argue with you..........because you anyway need to have the last word)
Sure I know from my friends....I intend to analize a lot..............to me a no.it's not enough to be told.i need to no why..otherwise I keep digging.......sometime he gets a bit upset..love his face then
but most of the time he starts to smile at me with hes head turned to the side..telling me I sound like a 2 yr old just wants to be held and comfort! Right, he's right! 
But he loves (ed) me for being me.............one of a crazy German woman you don't seem to age at all, bewared my naturality.............my temper ( need to move a lot, sure love to chill, to.but in general I do need to move)
I very much love to dance............that was our main occupation back then anyway..till he gave up after 2 hrs.......while I kept moving on 3/4 hrs more, I'm real on then.
Still like that..but back then he was just 24, now he douple his age..............but i put on the years, too!
He don't like to loose :-).................that's why he never went for my suggestion to go for a fast walk, like really fast..for a time of at least 3 hrs...............yes he can hang.....but needs breaks......he seems all that strong and long lasting........but I start of slow, hanging behind him.....but then him running out of energy, he sure doesn't have any more chance to get me 
So him knowing this he just avoid certain acctivities.....like long walks............swimming bikeridingstuff like this doing with me, because he always would be just 2nd place....
he keep asking me first after we've seen eachother again after 21 yrs.. if I still can hang on the floor, I just smiled8 well he found out
)
he ask me quiet a lot off times if I never get tired......sure now after aging i do, but it's more sort of exhaustion, because throuogh my life I did ignore my needs a lot, and took my self over the egde quiet often.or I had to ( my babygirl in the hospital back then).
Rising 3 kids by myself, really now help at all..............authorities gave me the runaround, they demand you being very punctuell.....otherwise they raise hell..............my girl (the twingirl was put in the hospital with cramping in a sudden fever situation ( sounds not right to me? hu my english getting bad), I didn't know what to do with her twinbrother. They just were 2 yrs old and my oldest Kristine was 4 1/2 back then.
Besides i went to the seperation year and court appointment gave hand to lawyers appointments. My now (EX husband, a picses) was still leaving at the same plays locking the rooms and causes damages to what ever he got in his hands include me....washer, phones stereo, set the bathroom under water said was an accident, dropping ro eggs on the floor spilling milk and cooks rice, etc..had no more music, couldn't phone, lucked me in the house and left taking the keys with him and and and, really wonder how I did it back the...........was 38 but the love for my children and knowing there is someone, even far away (my Gem) gave me strenght to make it through. My ex had to move out by a cord verdict..after one year of hell!! pure.....
he said he just came on to me like this because I sticked to my word leaving him, wha the never believed I woudl do having 3 young children and nobody wants me anyway anymore........I didn't care about his words, just wanted to get some peace and harmony for my babies..........this was no enviroment to raise children............this was nothing for me burring on child already before and my DAD, too ( a libra) great loving understanding very giving man he was and loved my Mom to death...........
Well I got lost again here..................yes my life is packed with destiny like most peoples life especially when your a parent..............I would live great by myself..............but I thank got for my precoius children ( uuuuuuh yeah we had war here...tehem becoming teenagers, the oldest I haven't recovered, then my twingirl, followed by her twinbrother, very aggressiv back then, no wonder....then the twingirl again.........then my oldest had heartache from her first relationship, then my twingirl with 16 1/2 and so on......................
I always suffered more than they did because I just can't stand people I love, care for struggling, being in pain or deeply sad, while I feel helpless, because those are their feelings, I just yould be there, still am for them when they feeling all blue.............Sometimes I thing I did suffer enough for my kids already so it would be spared for them.but maybe I didn't enough..tha's why it's put on me so hard that sometimes I really think, I just take off, flying to Australia............get me a little flat in the country dog and horse and grow my own food surrounded by water and roses................
grilling my food, and just go horseback riding when lonelyness hit me.......just let it fo and felling my hair blowing in the wind, my dog at my side...............feeling all free....crying it all out till I'm so exhausted that I won't be even aware off when or whether I go to sleep!
I' very realitic, but a hopeless romatic..............I fight every war for my loved ones but can't do much for myself...............always feeling guilty for some reason.........
uiiiiiiiiiiiiih.should be somewhere else already..hope it's not to much I put in here again...................gosch.....Anni, Anni.................
have to control it!
My friends and family tell me to write a book, that was years ago.., just a bit more organized :-)),
but I do believe I won't be around to finish it!
THX so much and please have patience , I can be very quiet, also ....believe it or not............am a great listener, meaning relaly to listen.................but I'm still so very confused and my emotions driving me out of my mind...................I do not have grond really under my feet.since I haven't heard from him......my only love (besides my kids and Mom, brother of course) and always will, no matter what...........
but also like you've mentioned......it seemed to me he just didn't want to realize there someone who loves him unconditional....first being his very best friend and a true partner...........because like I've mentioned before, he always kept asking why him.
He said he never ever met a woman like me, always thinking of other first even I'm only able to crawl of exhaustion.............having little money spending it on others to help them out, while i'm giving up on my own wishes or needs.............
Maybe you just can call me very stupid, even just a a dumb ass.........
Hugs !!!!
The very best to you and your man!
Anni :-((