Good Morning Everyone...
I am a Cancer and husband is a Gemini I will start there.
I have been married to the same guy for over 18 years. We have 4 gorgeous kids together.
The problems I have is that I am an enabler. I have handled everything in the relationship because he has had no interest or says to me, "you have done it for so long, why should I learn". This includes two drug addictions, putting up with his family who blames me for all of my husband's problems and friends who dictate to my husband what he "should be doing" when it comes to his wife and family. This man cannot handle a bank account nor has he ever paid a bill. So to save my own credit and credit worthiness of my family, I have made sure all was copastetic.
He has had no interest in the things I have wanted to do for over 10 years and quite frankly, if the world does not revolve around him and what he wants to do, than there is always guaranteed to be an argument.
This past month,, he went on a trip our family could not afford. So he borrowed the money from a friend that he has known since childhood. This friend is very opinionated and instigates arguments for my husband. He has been known to be a troublemaker throughout their childhood and many of the people who have known him for the same amount of time have said the same thing to me. He also during this trip re-connected with an old girlfriend. The same girlfriend who was texting him about 2 weeks before he left and the same girlfriend he went to visit when our first daughter was only a few days old.
I spent time over a friend's house( Male) so that the kids would not be subjected to the argument. ( I am this person's son's guardian) When I got home yesterday the house is a mess, no food, and to top it all off the kids have not been expected to do chores of the little things I had them doing before they went to school like teeth brutshing and breakfast...he is now trying to tell me that I am not allowed to hang out with this friend and claims that my relationship with this friend is what has caused the strain. This same person helped him to start a business and has been friends with myhusband for the same amoutn of time that I have.
I am fed up up with whole thing and just want to get on with my life. I love my husband but it is obvious the only love he has for me is what I can do for him as far as taking care of his obligations, house, kids and bills. I can;t do it anymore and at 42, I deserve to be happy.
I have a feeling at 43 he is going through some mid life crisis and he will also not go to counseling. What suggestions can you all make...my gut is saying for my own health and welfare, move on, but my heart says try to work it out for the kid's sake....