I feel like I just got the rug pulled out from under me out of nowhere. Ms. Sunny or anyone else with any insight...My initial is R but I go by B dob is 11/16/82...guys is W but goes by E dob is 9/1/86. back story. I was married to a good guy who really cared about me. I just never felt he was the one and I think I stayed with him because it was easy. We just wanted different things in life and had totally different religious beliefs that made it hard...but I always had this horrible gut feeling I'd meet someone else and leave and that made me feel aweful. My ex was the only guy and serious relationship I'd ever been in..Virgos back story...was engaged to his first she cheated had a kid and he stayed and helped raise her kid. She didnt feel he was right for her so she left a month before their wedding..totally unrelated to me I'm told.
Now for our crazy fd up story..Spring of 2010...starts working with me. The first time I saw him before even talking something captivated me. We got to know each other and realized we had a lot in common and I felt like we really had a connection and just got each other and it seems like were on the same wavelength can finish each others sentences say the same things at the same time. we are both so alike its scary. It's just this look he can give me and it makes me not be able to think a coherent thought. So we both realized we liked each other. He told me I made it hard not to cross that line we got closer..we ended up having **** 3 times which we both felt bad about..which was like how amazing its portrayed in the movies and nothing like id ever felt before. It's like we tried everything to do the right thing and not be cheaters but we kept going back to each other. He told me he had to stop the infatuation with me or else he never would, that he thought about me when he shouldn't, that he could see himself with me, that he wasn't sure why he felt close to me or why this all happened with me, that he's never really felt this wanted in the way I wanted him, that the selfish part of him didnt want this to end. It really felt he wanted me but to do the right thing was tomarry his ex and give her daughter a real family.
They had their issues and shed get scared every time and leave and come back..well she left and didnt come back(may of 2011). I was still married at the time and he was hurt and alone. He did something I didnt expect...He immediately went to another friend to sleep with all the while saying she wasnt what he wanted and I was better, so he still pursued me untill I was ready to take that risk to be with him. Once I left my marriage things changed completely. Then it was well I just want a friends with benefits kind of thing and I totally fell for it thinking he just needed time to heal but that I'd have to be the only one he was sleeping with and he said ok. Everything seemed fine we talked ALL the time hung out almost every night we didnt work. Then right before christmas he just all of a sudden ignored me for two weeks, I questioned him about still being into me or not and he said. I dunno just been depressed, busy, and it got old what people at work thought. Things have been weird and awkward ever since(the last 2 months). I mentioned that this week and he said he just shut down when he realized how I felt. I probed further and he said I wanted him way more than he wanted me and wanted too serious way to fast. now he claims he knows how I feel and he doesnt know how to act around me. Theres so much tension between us now. **** act cold but then every once in awhile he'll say something flirty like he might still be interested. Maybe I pushed too hard too fast I dont know. Is there any chance of getting my virgo back or should I just move on? This is all knew for me. we are both the good kid type. Is he afraid of getting hurt? Is he really just a player(He doesn't look the player type..hes kind of dorky goofy cute)? Should I ignore and wait? or just move on? I'm so confused....I can't get past how everything was one way and now its another....it felt so perfect meant to be kind of thing.maybe i've ruined it for holding things in and exploding my feelings when I can't take anymore...we used to be able to talk about how we were feeling now I get the very cold shoulder and silence.