Trying to follow path...running into walls....

  • Hello all! I have been trying to follow a healing path I feel I was born into. In 2005 I was driving home from a friends in Nv (I live in CA) I was thinking of a career change when a car in front of me rolled. I ended up treating the girl and was told had I not been there she easliy could have bled to death. I enrolled in EMT school two weeks later. I passed EMT school and went on to Paramedic school. I entered a contest for a scholarship and found out later that I had actually won, however, they gave the scholarship to another girl in the class. I had a really hard time with internship and finally finished that and got necessary paperwork almost a year after I finished. I passed all the tests I needed to and recently found out that due to paperwork issues, I now have to re-do a major skills test. I have been drawn to healing for as far as I can remember. What I do not understand is why these walls? Am I following the wrong path? I am tall and blessed with beauty, quick wit and brains. I have had one heck of a time trying to even get a job as an EMT basic. I can be intimidating, yet it is not as if I mean to be. Any insight into this would be great. I am just a bit tired of running into walls. Thank you! Be blessed!

  • If you won the scholarship...why did they give the scholarship to someone else?

  • They are scum bags? Actually it is agreed that the President of the school at that time do I gently say this..prejudice against whites. She was asian and gave the scholarship to an asian girl. (She didnt even finish the course!) It is frustrating but I am not one to be lawyer dependent. I could have easily filed a case. However, she and her cohorts are now long gone and I really enjoy the school. Besides the fact that I believe a higher judge will handle them in time.

  • Hi, Congratulations on all that you have accomplished. I would think that an EMT would have to have the type personality that you described. You probably have to make quick decisions, multi-task etc. Road blocks can be a part of life. I hope you do find the work you desire especially since this is something you have wanted a long time. Sometimes we must cooperate w/those who don't want to cooperate. Having a sense of humor helps. And in this line of work, you'll probably need it. Be happy, be yourself.

  • I feel like you 1969taurus! It isn't worth fighting over and I'm sure as you are that what goes around will come back around. I don't wish anyone bad, But your better off doing this on your own given the circumstances. It will payoff for you someday. Good Luck!

  • Hi 1969taurus,

    I'm sorry you've had a rough, tough time after all the studying and getting through.

    I don't think you're on the wrong path as far as healing is concerned. Just the wrong occupation,

    if that makes sense?

    Why don't you try applying for work which requires your qualifications but in a different field.

    Fields only have fences 🙂

    Hope you don't think that's meant as a flippant remark. It's a serious offering to give you something else to think about. Why continue banging your head against brick walls when you only need to hop over a fence?

    Good luck!

    Verdana 🙂

  • Things worthy come hard earned. It reminds me of a story I recently read about a great Tibetan Sage named Milarepa. All he wanted was to hear dharma teachings as he felt called to become a monk. So he was led to a great Teacher named Marpa and made his request. Marpa said, "Before I teach, you have to build a high tower of stone". So he labored for months building it and thinking, "Okay, I did what you asked and completed everything required, now can I hear the teachings?" Marpa said, "Before I teach you, you must tear the tower down, stone by stone". Milarepa did so and Marpa made him build it and tear it down three times over. After he was done which took a very long time, he asked Marpa again. Marpa continued to refuse him and Milarepa ran to Marpa's wife who felt sorry for him, forged a letter of introduction to another great Teacher and sent him off. He studied for a time with the new Teacher but finally admitted that the letter was forged so the Teacher sent him back to Marpa who in turn, made him do all sorts of demanding meditation practices and other tasks for the next 12 years! Finally, Marpa felt he was ready to be taught and did so. Milarepa went on to be one of Tibet's most known and celebrated Monks who attained more than he originally set out to do.

    This story reminded me of SO many similar patterns in my own life, it made me laugh! But the point of all this said to you is stay true to your vision no matter how many obstacles are in the way. They are there to teach you something, but only you will know what that is. To get caught up in the circular spin of "injustice!" and how wrong everyone else is just wastes your energy. Just retake the test and let it go. Maybe this is the Universe's way of just slowing you down and when you get there, you will appreciate your arrival on a much more profound, grateful and thorough level. You went through hell to get your degree and will value that even more. So try to keep a sense of humor if you can, deflect the irritation and keep to task. It is not only what you want, but what you seem to have been called to do. But nobody said just because you want it this means its going to all lay out the way you want it. Your calling is not just about a piece of paper - retaking a major Skills test is not a waste of time - particularly in your profession. Know that the lives you will help and save will be worth every exasperating minute and perhaps even one day prove that retaking that test was the best thing that could ever have happened- keep your eye on what's important, helping others, and stay humble about the obstacles that continue to get thrown in your path. Fighting your way is not the best way to go about becoming a healer. It will do nothing more than continue the spin of negativity and Healers simply cannot generate that, it is what they need to absorb from others to truly help and heal. Truly appreciating your frustration but feel confident that you will get there at exactly the right time you are meant to arrive. The path of a true healer is FAR from a straight one so know this is probably why you are hitting walls. So just go with the curves and flow and instead of hitting them, you will actually begin to pick up speed. Good luck to you and many thanks for pursuing the path you are on. I have been grateful on more than one occasion for the EMT Unit .

  • The one thing that came to my mind is that you will probably be good at what you want to do. Dont worry about the walls. Keep on trying. People that have had to fight for everything they acheive are usually good at it. Dont allow anyone to get you down not even the devil. Trust God and ask him to help you and he will. Ask him to trmove the obstacles from your path by his blood, then see what happens. Good Luck to you, My Prayers are with you. Dreamer59

  • Hi Taurus,

    I'd just like to say that it sounds to me that you ALREADY have persevered alot down the road to your success. That shows tenacity and strength(2 of Taurus' qualities I believe). I commend you for your accomplishments so far and I truly believe you will make it. Keep on shininng and show em that just because you have great looks, doesn't mean you don't have brains. 🙂

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