Dear readers - MsSunny, Shuabby, theCaptain, Watergirl - please help



  • Dear good readers on this forum 🙂

    Now I'm not gonna sound like my forum name 🙂 I'd really appreciate your insights or reading of my situation - if you feel like commenting on it:

    It's about my love life, or to be more precise, the absence of it. I feel very hopeless - I'm having dreams that mean new beginnings, but nothing is happening. I'm doing my homework that my yoga teacher gave me but I feel hopeless. I'm never asked out, I don't meet any new available men - it's been 3 years... I feel like a total failure as a woman. I've tried a lot of things - therapy, travel, yoga, meditation, making a list about my perfect guy, etc etc.

    Maybe this aspect of life is over for me? Maybe this is it? Maybe it's just silly of me to be wanting to have a loving relationship with someone and build a life together? Please help - what should I do?

    Thank you for your help and energy,

    lots of love your way 🙂



  • Dear HappyPeaceful,

    You are never a failure until you give up trying in which it looks like you have not done at this point. I feel that you are a good person and want another good person in your life, do you volenteer in your area? As this will help you to help others and open the portal for blessings to flow to you from above. Do you pray and ask your angels and guides to help you in what you are seeking? I do and believe me it happens when the time is right and I always say a prayer of thanks . Who is Bill as I hear a Bill coming in around you, he has a warm wonderful feeling about him I also hear the name Jim, Albert also. These men are in your vibration waiting if you do not already know them to knock on the door of your life and be welcomed in. I sense them near so you should not be waiting long. Be sure you wear your best smile and extend you heart when meeting them. Keep us updated as you will soon be a statement for love is truely in bloom no matter how long you had to wait for it to happen. Keep us updated when your invitation book is filling up.



  • HappyPeaceful, we get what we ask for in life. If you have no love interest around you, deep down that is what you are asking for. You need to find out what is preventing you getting what you consciously want. There is probably some fear of intimacy or rejection or abandonment, etc. blocking you.



  • Dear Captain,

    thank you for responding to my post!

    My last relationship (or smth I thought to be one) ended in rejection of me. And I think I haven't recovered from it yet. I have a high probability to be rejected, as I'm divorced and have a 6 year old daugther (actually, the last guy said my daughter was an obstacle to him), so many men run for the hills when they hear that I have a kid 🙂

    The fear of rejection is so big for me, because even I don't like the guy, but if he doesn't like me, I feel rejected. I know it sounds illogical and ridiculous 🙂 what do I do about this fear of rejection?

    Thanks so much again,

    with love,

    L



  • Dear Shuabby,

    thank you very much for responding, encouraging and reading for me!

    Yes, I pray each morning and ask for help in meeting my man 🙂 I also do a specific mantra meditation that my yoga teacher gave me for this purpose.

    as for volunteering - I do support the girl in Dominica via the international NGO. In my local area they are looking for full time volunteers, which I can't afford to do, being divorced, raising a daugther without any financial help from her father. So I do what I can and contribute in a different way.

    As for the names you pick up - I don't know - I live in a non-English speaking country and don't know any guys with names you mentioned (not even what could be local equivalents of these names). But I'm not concerned about the names, actually.

    What I do is when meditating with the specific mantra I was advised to imagine the man I want to meet - so I did 🙂 I have a picture in mind how this guy should look like, act, speak etc. What do you think - will this help?

    Thank you so much for your encouragement and support,

    with love,

    L



  • HappyPeaceful...

    Those are very good suggestions the captain and shuabby gave.

    I wanted to add....I find it works best to first find out who you are and what makes you happy works best. Love yourself first then others can love you.

    We all want to have our life partner/soul mate (whichever term u choose to use) but most of us need to experience being happy with ourselves before we can find a great person to share our lives with.

    I suggest that you do the things that you enjoy and keep an open mind when meeting people and you will be surprised at what the universe sends your way!

    I too am a single parent with no financial help ever...My oldest is now 21 and my little one is 14.

    I found it harder to date because I decided to devote the majority of my time to the kids as they were younger.

    I was also very careful to not expose them to my dates until I thought it was something serious and they were worthy of being introduced to my kids.

    Always remember, you deserve a great partner and anyone who would reject you or run away because you have a child is not worthy of you period!

    I leave you with that and blessings from the spirits/universe.



  • dear readers boy do i need help my ex which we are ina middle of divorce seems to be nice to me maybe to nice as im thinking he still loves me i know i love him but my life comes first and im over the ow should i try to save this marriage if we both love each other we were married for 29 years i think he still loves me but i was hurt he is 02-24-58 and im 11-20-54



  • any comments on this



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  • loving divorce is not final its taking a long time i have my own life and and i am happy i know its not all his fault some was mine i rejected him before now and now he s regretting it all i know he s lonely and confused should i at least stand by him to he gets his own life?



  • Happypeaceful, I feel you have been seeking out men in the past who reminded you in some way of a person in your youth - your father or old boyfriend? - whom you felt rejected you and made you feel unlovable. Now you try to please 'him' over and over again but because the men you choose are like him, they all reject you. But rejection never comes because of you - it is something within each of these men - they wanted something in a partner that you, through no fault of your own, couldn't satisfy. Probably no one could satisfy them. That's their problem, not yours. You need to move away from making choices based on past relationships by first realising what you have been doing and then trying to figure out what the similarity was in all your past relationships. Then you can know what to avoid in the future. Maybe even this perfect partner you dream of has a similairty to the man in the past who rejected you or let you down.



  • Debalou, please start your own thread and we will answer you there.



  • Sagiqueen, thanks so much for your advice and support! Your post made me think - what is it that I really enjoy. I've found out to myself that even when doing things I like (yoga classes, travelling, etc) - I still feel my loneliness or the lack of a loving relationship as a permanent burden; it's like a chronic disease....

    I totally agree with you that I have to love myself first and find a way to be happy by myself - I'm trying, really 🙂 Doctors say that I have a mild depression. Besides I feel lonely in the sense that I don't have friends with whom I could go out for example, because my friends moved abroad or live in different towns.

    I also agree with you that you cannot show your date to your kids unless you're sure it's serious; well I don't have that issue yet as I'm not asked to any dates :))

    thank you for responding and supporting me with your positivity and advice,

    lots of love your way!



  • Dear Captain, I did some thinking about what you posted.

    As a child, I felt unloved often, especially by my father who was very demanding and strict and stubborn. of course, my parents did and do love me, but as a child I didn't feel that way - because everything I achieved wasn't good enough yet (I was a quite kid and good at school, first in my class, actually). So when I look back - my two men were very dominating, even agressive (one in the literal sense, another, emotionally). the last guy I fell in love with - I found him the exact opposite of these guys - introverted, kind, calm, sensitive, I thought 'this guy could never hurt me' - yet he did. I guess I'm still not over this last experience, last hurt.

    Now when I think of what kind of guy I want - I'm moving away from the past types, well at least I think I'm trying 🙂

    Thank you Captain for your insights!

    with love,

    L



  • Hello HappyPeaceful,

    I do believe that the manta will be helpful only if you yourself believe that you can draw to you what you want through this. Let me give a personal example: I thought I would like to move away from the east coast and live in TX where it is warm and sunny and the cost of living is better. I now am waiting to see if my husband will be offered a job in TX . So you see it does work. My Mother9divorce) had three young children and I can not remember it stopping men from being there for my Mother and even helping her when needed. You need to change your thinking and in so doing your patterns of attraction will change also.



  • HappyPeaceful, you were on the right track with your introverted guy but an exact opposite is not what you really want or need. You want and need someone with your father's good qualities and none of his bad.



  • Dear Shuabby,

    thank you for your answers and for your encouragement - I'll do my best to change my patterns of thinking and be more positive and relaxed. I will put my faith in mantra as well - because it was given to me by a person who leads a balanced life and has achieved a lot in terms of her personal and spiritual development. Thanks again for your advice and insights!

    with love,

    L



  • Thank you, Captain! Yes I agree with you - I have to take the best of my dad - his loyalty and faithfulness (my parents have been married for 52 years!), his sense of responsibility, love for his children, courage to do the right thing (even if it's a hard thing), sticking to his values... I think that the last guy didn't have enough of the above 🙂 thanks again, Captain,

    with love

    L



  • Our parental opposite in most tends to set our expectations of our future partners so we must look for the best of their qualities and reject the rest.



  • Thank you, Captain! You're right 🙂