Help!! With a Cancer Male

  • I will try and be as brief as possible...I started dating a Cancer Man on and off for about 8 months...he was all into me at first, then he would jus toss me to the side when he felt like it...he said he got burned really bad in a previous relationship 5 YEARS AGO!!!....and wont allow himself to get hurt again...the problem is I was in a abusive relationship and got out of it...but this Cancer male (when he would toss me aside) call me names, put me I got dismissed about two months ago from him....It took every ounce of me not to call or text...well out of the blue he sends me a random text about two weeks ago...well I aloud myself to get sucked back I had sex with him...and then I got tossed stupid me I have been hurting because how could someone be so cruel...well this past Saturday I had a really bad day and text him and told him I missed him...and he responsed...that he was flattered...then the mood swings started told me I was "trash"....and that he was with a women right now...asked me to hook him up with one of my friends...why do they do this head games?? he knows how I feel about him, but what is up with the manipulation...and the stories he makes up...he actually thought I was seeing this guy when we were he made up this whole ridicioulous story to see if I would confess...and I wasnt and it ended back firing on him and him looking like the idiot...I just dont know what to do...I havent texted since Saturday...but I want to so bad...I actually have nightmares that I texted him and wake up...and look at my phone to make sure I didn't....Has anyone ever experienced this??? Was I just a "toy to him?"...I just dont get it...he told me he cared about me blah blah....I know I will hear from him may not be today or tomorrow but when he needs a loser like me to pick his ego up...he knows that he can turn to me....I really want to tell him to pound sand if he does...but then the mood just escalates on his part and he gets nasty with the name calling...what should I do if he does contact me?? and I know he eventually will...this has been his pattern....

  • wow my cancer guy did the same thing but in a much nicer way he never called me names but he would insinuate things like why do you go to bars a pubs instead of clubs i got the feeling he was down talking me alot but he knew i was sensitive so he always cleadned it up he came on really strong the chemistry was undeniable then his honesty brutal he told me i was not the only one that but he knew if he ever wanted to be with me exclusively he could then he dissapeared for about a week then came back saying he cut those girls off he only wanted me blah blah blah then i rejected him and then changed my mind the next day and texted him that i wanted to be with him also then he rejected me saying he didnt feel the same and he has been distant every sense so i had a attitude whenever he called then i guess he couldnt take it anymore so he said listen i just want to be in your life i dont want every time i call you have a attitude i dont even want sex anymore because i dont want you to feel used but then called me days later and i came running and we ended up having sex but everything went good we had fun then he didnt call me the next day so i went off and he asked what was wrong i didnt respond because i felt as though i mad e myself clear i told him i couldnt take it ps you can read more in my topics but honestly i still love him i actually drunk voicemailed him last night he hasnt responded i dont think he ever will my advice to you is to stay away from cancers i know i am unless he comes back he is just that irresistable but hopefully i meet someone new because i cant take his toying with my heart

  • WOW hotvirgorising....thanks for is tough I feel the same way when my Cancer comes around...I drop everything for him...and he knows it...but I am just giving him too much head space and I dont think he deserves it...I ask myself..."I bet he isnt thinking this much about me as I am about him"....I don't know...I guess I just feel used....or not sure if this is the just the way the Cancer Male is....but aside from that...I have done the drunk texting too...and hate myself about it the next day...he likes to have everything his way or no way...if I argue, he gets nasty and calls me names...I get I am the "boss"....I guess it's just not healthy for biggest concern is what do I do when he does contact me...because like you, I do care about him alot...

  • @tatoogemini

    first off let me say i am a gemini too ! lol anyway that is my biggest problem too its like when he finally does come around i seem to still be mad for whatever he did last and its like i freeze up and get scared to express myself to him ordinarily i say ANYTHING to guys but with him its different because i really am into him buts thats rare that i find someone that im really into so i wait and give hints hints my dramatic outburst that he cannot stand but its my way of seeing if he really cares ya know btw EVERYTHING has been on my cancers time but i must say hes the nicest realest guy i met in a while and not to mention the sex is the BEST he is a huge cuddler oh how i miss him i cant get him off my mind but peculiar enough i doubt if he even knows i feel this strongly about him he might just think im crazy hehe but i think i think of him so much that when he comes around i just rest my endless thoughts about him and just enjoy his company between us gems i think we also are so curious that we cant let these guys go because we want soooo desparately to figure them out ......btw no prob great to hear how another gem handles this because we can be dramatic with our word play

  • "tatoogemini" You are allowing him to call you names, you keep going back to him. Have you ever told him that you don't like to be called names, that is not polite and it's rude? You let him know where you stand, let him know straight up that his behavior is not acceptable. Whatever you do don't contact him, don't text him. Even if he does don't reply back, for a few days, cancers hate to be ignored. I'm talking from experience. I have been with my cancer for 2 years now, and it has been a roller coaster lol. But he learned, he never call me names I won't allow it either he is very polite, he does disappeaer like ever other cancer for days but I give him space and he comes back always. Remeber no text, no call, I know it's hard but resist don't show him that you are desperate or vulnerable, don't sweat he will come back. Keep us posted good luck!

  • thanks so much gem30 & hotvirgorising....I do know he hates to be ignored....I have not called or texted since Saturday it's tough I want to but I know I shouldnt...he hasn't contacted me either ...he disappears all the time on me...and just when I try and get over him, he comes back....and to answer your question yes I told him I cannot stand to be called names and treated that way...I think he does it more just to upset me...he knows how to push my buttons and it goes straight through my heart...I don't know...he told me many of times he has feelings for me..but he isnt showing it very well...then a friend told me to "stay away" that he is a player and brags all the time that he can take a different girl home if he wanted to every night of the maybe I am jus a stupid gem for caring and need to let go...:-(

  • If your friend told you to stay away then do it, if he is a player you don't need him. Find someone who wouldn't call you names , someone who you will respect you more than he does.

  • tattoogemini,

    whatever happened to your cancer man?


    what happened to yours?


    good advice

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