Dont know what to do....



  • so basically the story began when we met at boarding school, i was a junior and he was a senior. we became really good friends, and the whole year while he was at school i didnt notice any signs of his attraction to me. i ve considered him only as one of my best guy friends, i ve dated others, and always asked him for advices. but then he graduated, and left to another country for college, i decided to visit him, and while my 3 days visit when we were both drunk a little he told me that he always had feelings for me and bla bla bla , and basically we slept. and not only once, but every single day of my visit. then i left back to school nd didnt hear from him for a long time. after few months, in may, he came to school to visit friends and others, and he spreaded rumours abt us having sex. that pissed me off so much that i stopped communicating wiz him. as i graduated, i obviously was supposed to go to uni, but my plans for going to us for college failed nd i ended up going to the same uni and same country when he studies. life irony huh?)) it was really awkward seeing him again, but we tried to be friends. in one months or so i realized that i had strong feelings for him, i even culd say that i was in love. but the problem is that he got a gf over this summer and was pretty happy in that relationship... apparently he got to know that i really like him cuz we go to pretty small college, and ppl talk a lot. wat he told me then amused me. he said: well we can figure out smth. obviosly that he was thinking that if we have sex he will "help" me... he used to call me once a week, and i had a feeling that he was just treating me as his pet. at school though we were pretty friendly, "hi, bye" and noone showed anything. after winter break though we went to college party together, got drunk, and we slept. after sex he told me that i culd be only his "friend wiz benefits" and to be his gf i have to fit to a lot of criterias. i was shocked again, but when ur in love sometimes u lose any pride u had. In a couple of days, the situation got worse, cuz almost everyone at uni got to know it happened, which obviously had influence on my reputation as a girl. i still dunno who and how spread the rumour but now it doesnt even matter. i ignored him for almost 3 months. and last week i texted him my new phone number, and when he said that its nice to know, but u dnt even say hi, i responded that its just my number. i think it is pretty obvious that i really just sent him my number, but no he had to say that i look so much better and hotter wiz my new hair and my new look. he always asks my friends wat am i doing and whether i am talking abt him or not. i dnt understand him. i really dnt get it. its like u have a gf ur happy just live ur fucking life and stay away. i dnt know wat to do, how to behave, i still have feelings for him and even if im being bitchy and cold, deep down in my heart i know that i do want his attention and i do want him jealous.... im just so confused abt things.... shuld i let go or no? its just so hard...



  • Don't settle for 2nd best. He's got a girlfriend. He obviously fancies you but he doesn't want you as a girlfriend. You are allowed to have feelings for him but have a bit of respect for yourself and don't give this lad your sole attention. He has a lot of growing up to do. Its great that he loves your hair and new look - his compliments have given you a buzz - so don't waste your time and energy and your new look on him - go and socialise and discover that man who would be proud to have you as a girlfriend and only you. Good luck.



  • It sounds to me like this guy is having his cake and eating it too. You should of broken off any kind of communitcation after he spread the first rumors about you. I'm not sure why women get hooked into these nightmare relationships, but it is very common. It makes me really sad that you don't know what to do, because it is so obvious, but your feelings are clouding what is right in front of you. Get away from this guy and don't look back. There is no such thing as being "friends" after all that has happened between the two of you.


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