Should I let it go?
I am a Virgo woman (8/24) who begun a relationship with a Cancer man (7/17) last year in June.
When I first met him we instantly connected. I thought that he was my soul mate, my long lost love from past lives. It seemed like we shared a special bond that would always be there.
Although we loved each other it was a difficult relationship. A quote from "A Tale of Two Cities" comes to mind... "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." We met over the Internet. He lived in another state. Eventually he moved in with me. It was a financial strain because he was out of work during 7 out of the 8 months we were living together. I was battling with depression and developed high blood pressure over this time period...
Monumental moments of the relationship came in October when I found out that he was writing his ex. He talked about problems we were having and asked her did she still think about their past. When I found this out I kicked him out and he went back with his mom. He said he was stressing about our relationship and he didn't know who to talk to. We eventually reconciled and he came back.
Everything seemed to be going well, that's until Valentine's Day weekend. I was upset that I didn't get a card. He didn't understand why it was important since he surprised me with a spa treatment and out to dinner (he was working for about 6 weeks now). That Sunday and Monday things were very tense in the house and it seemed like a dark presence in the house. I tried to avoid him but Tuesday morning we had a big argument and I yelled mean things at him and asked him to leave. This is the short version. We both did things that we regret.
After that he went to the airport to go home. During this time I kept calling him and he ignored me. I went to the airport to speak with him and he ignored me at the airport. He changed his number two days later (2/19) I was writing to him by email and he wrote back and said that he was confused and lost and that I hurt him more than he has ever been hurt. By 2/20 he was writing me on messenger and he was saying how he missed me and things seemed better. We talked pretty long until I fell asleep. Then I write back the next day and he says he is confused once again and he needs time. But then it seems like he would push then pull away.
This was driving me crazy. He would call me from block number. His behavior I couldn't really identify. I knew I love him and wanted to work through any problems we came across. I had a feeling that he wasn't being totally truthful with me and this was confirmed 3/15. I checked his email account and found out that he had left his mother's house and went to visit his ex (sagittarius) (3/6)(who is in a different state) the same one he was in contact with before. He was writing me by email the whole time. I was extremely upset and emailed his ex and texted her. (I wasn't nasty or anything.) Just let her know that he was emailing me while he was there with her and leading me on. Not sure what he was telling her.
I also emailed him calling him a gold digger and some other mean things that were really the voice of others. I was really acting unlike myself and didn't like it. I apologize the next day (3/16) and told him I am sorry how I addressed matters although he was wrong for what he did.
I haven't received an email from him since then. I want to email him again because I really don't want to talk to him, but I can't stand the constant rejection. Also, this hurts because this is the first time I opened up and trusted someone as much as I trusted him and now it seems like he keeps rejecting me. One of my weaknesses is the fear of rejection.
Someone called me this past Saturday from a blocked number. I don't think it was him, but don't know for sure. I am afraid to contact him by email because I think it will just open up a wound. I really think I should let it go (just because I don't know what he is thinking or doing), but he was really there for me when I needed him and it wasn't always easy for him being there for me.
Am I just being naive?
Take some time for yourself and focus on other things until you can communicate to him with a clearer head and kindness. Cancer's respond to kindness and run from hostility- so wait until YOUR genuinely ready to talk to him in a kind manner, even if that means ignoring a call, text, or email from him. Sounds like he still cares though! So stop chasing him!Remember, "Everything you chase in life, runs away".
P.S. Cancer's remain on good terms with thier exes and love to reminise, when you do eventually talk to him- talk about the good times and NOT the bad, at least at first. I would suggest in the meantime buy and read the book 'Why Men Love Bitches', EVERY woman should read this book! It'll help you clear your head and give you a great new perspective on relationships!
oops they blocked the name 'Why Men Love B!tches'
Thanks.... I noticed he was incognito once I start acting crazy... so I might send a nice email that doesn't focus on anything negative... I am ready to talk about things in a more positive light.
By the way I think I was acting like a B1tch too long.... that approach is not going to work now...lol ... he was busy chasing after me before and trying to help me with my depression, but I think it became too much.... and then his job situation...
Emily Dickinson said fame is a bee, it has a song, it has a sting...ah too it has wings.... I say that about love.