Cancer man left hole in my heart
Dear sweetheart I am 45 years old ladie and married to a cancer. I have been with this man for 20 years. As a matter of fact I lost a very good libra man due to the cancer, In order to make the relationship work, you must first understand a cancer man, They are very sneaky womenizer's.
They have hidden sexual secrets and it is there nature to cheat. But! you can changed that behavior because cancer men are very compassionate thats all the jazz they listen too. if you are a true pisces then your dreams and instinct should have told you what was up! We dreamed things, we feel things and we are always on the money about what we feel is happening behind our backs. You are too good for him and dont let anyone tell you diffrent.. Now me! on the other hand. I suffered a heart attack last year because my husband wrote a 24 year old girl a letter, something know one could have ever told me would happen! We all work on the same job except we own the business which is employed by all women CNA's to be exact. A cancer man is so stupid that they allow themselfs to be swept up in some crap all the time. Well it had been going on for 4 months until my employees starting telling me what was going on. Now remember I told you that I was a 45 year old diva and I did what a diva would have done. I caught the both of them laughing and giggling like kids and I came out my bag in a way he had never seen me, it bought back how I lost a good man because I was young and stupid and did not value my marrige the way I told God I would. Now why wouldnt I get this back. What comes around goes around. I scared my husband so bad and the young lady that they forgot all about what they were trying to get started. Now that I dont want him he acts like he is so in love. I know that he loves me but when you are a pisces and you love someone and they hurt you thats a wrap right then and there. We love totally from our hearts and will be faithful in all affairs but once hurt you can never forget it. Do me a favor baby! let it go stop thinking about it it will cause you to have a Heart Attack for real. I never knew I could get so angry and hurt, that it would have led to a heart Attack. Since then my husband still cries whenever he thinks about how he broke the ony woman's heart that he will ever love. So true pisces think about what I said it will be very hard but as I type this letter to you God is working on your case you will be happy oneday dont ever forget it. Just know whoever he is with now! he is doing the same thing to her until she puts her foot down and scare that players game out of him. I want you to know that pisces and cancer's are true soulmates and everybody know's this. All the pisces I know are all married to cancers. A cancer man cannot resist a pisces women. keep your head up baby! and email me back if you want to win this game he is playing.
I'm an aquaruiswho had a scorpio leave me he broke mybheart I had a nervious breakdown its 7 years later I still love and miss him but I could never trust that he would not leave me again so no matter how my heart feels my head knows you can't trust him so without trust stay away. I know its hard but trust is everything
I do have several other social outlets. And I tried to break it off with this Cancer guy several times. He just keeps coming back and begging me to take him back. I am just with him out of convenience...we have great physcial chemistry that would be hard for me to replace. So I just flow along until the right one comes along. I used to not be that way, and it might sound mean, but this guy really devastated me when we lived together...I was almost suicidal. That's why I had to leave. I never put up with that from anyone before. He also said mean and hateful things to me when we were together the first time. So I don't really feel guilty about my attitude, because I feel like I'm just giving him a dose of his own medicine.
By the way, I have a Taurus Ascendant and a Taurus Moon, Mercury in Scorpio, and Venus in Virgo. I am very intuitive, which is why I caught my guy cheating to begin with. As a matter of fact, I have caught the few guys that did step out on me. Wow! Do men get mad when you stone-cold bust them...then they can't lie about it.
With this Cancer guy, I came home early after being away and this other woman was there. They heard me drive up, and she ran out of the place before I got there. BUT, she left her jewelry and panties on my living room floor...yeah. So you see why there's no way I believe him. As soon as it happened, everything made sense to me...why he was acting the way he was. This gal made more money than I did, and had been showering him with gifts...including giving him a car.
So now that the tables are turned, when we part he'll be the one crying...let me bet you. I know I sure won't, because he killed the trusting love I had for him. I'm just in it for the fun right now. I thought I might as well get some of the good, since I put up with so much of the bad before. I deserve it.
I completely understand what your going thru. My cancer husband after 22 years of marriage decided to bail out.(he's 53 and im 41) The first 2 months I felt like I had post traumatic syndrome. Cried every day almost all day. But now 4 months have past and Im getting stonger. I still have bad days but Im starting to really see what type of human being he is. He is a liar and cheat. And will not take ANY reasonability for any part he has played. From the cheating to the lying. We also have major financial problems. He has blamed me for all of it.
The one thing that I really don't understand is why he still wants to have contact with me He wanted out and I caused all these probelms. I just don't get that part. I do know that he dosen't like very stong women. His ego is big and all about himself its pathetic. We do have a 21 year old son. But he's grown and out on his own. But he still wants to play head games by conacting me. From the divorce to sex. He wants to date. Which amounts to sex once a week. Go figure. My family and friends believes he going through a midelife crisis. He had a heart attack at the age of 51 All I can say he needs to move on to someone else. I will not tolerate any of his issues no longer.
After reviewing the memory file Im starting to see several indiscretions over the years of our marriage. That was played off as something else. At this point Im trying to fix myself so that I don't take any of this garabge with me into the next relationship I have. And I will love another man because after all the drama I still believe in true love. But I will not have my head hiding in a hole again either. If you take away anything from these couple of paragrahps remember this. You are a human being with feelings and love. Do not let this person take that away from you. I almost did. For that first 2 months I believed everything he said I caused. But not now.
Take Care and God Bless You and Your Children.
To all the heart broken girls out there, I'm one of you, I cried 3 years non stop after my big break up. Still mourn him. But you know what? it's the best thing that happend to me. It made me wiser, made me understand so many things, I grew up at last, know who I am and what I want and don't want for myself, out of life and what to look for in my future partner. I was guilty of loosing myself in men totally, we women think is what good for a relationship. IT IS NOT. We give and give untill we feel drained and empty, willingly. I myself run away from commitment till the age of 40. Then married wonderful good hearted man , even though I loved him something was missing,connection, I felt unfulfilled, so we amiccably parted. Then in my later years I met my soulmate, I never knew men like that existed, total emotional connection, my other relationships paled in comparison. we talked marrage and when I started to invest my emotions in our future, he withdrew, I panic and became a convincer...result? resistance. Cut long story short he dump me.I understand now that men do not ask us to give up our hobbies, friends, things and activities we like to do that fulfill us and making him totally responsible for our happiness, no person wants to have that responsibility on their shoulders. We need to find fulfilment somewhere else as well, so our man can see us happy and full as we want to see him. No man wants to see his women unhappy and vice versa, he feels responsible and not good enough for you. We givers can't get our heads around that men go for women who don't care for them, now I understand why, those women are fun, not needy, they have life outside the relationship, they don't loose themself to men totally., men feel comfortable with them, no pressure. Thanks to my brake up I found my calling, new carrer in something I wanted to do all my life. In the beginning it was my displacement activity from crying , one day after two years I relised how much I've learned and decided to make a carrier out of it. So I'm starting to belive in destiny now. I'm concentraining myself now in fulfilling my own needs first, so when I meet that man I'll be a better partner to him, because i'll be full and he can only enhance my life. If not , like Betty Davies said, work never let her down, men did.
I don't force myself to date when I still mourn him ,to validate myself?, it wouldn't be fair on the other person. When I'm ready to date, I will.
So that huge painfull brake up totally changed the way I look at life, myself and relationships. I hope my story will help and inspire someone out there. If a man want's to see you after brake up, and have sex, don't flatter yourself, he's only stroking his ego.Brake ups make you strong and when you are strong and know who you are it's difficoult for other people to hurt you and put you down, you'll see it as their problem, not yours.When you go through so much pain and self discovery, people become transparent to you, you'll hear every word from which place it came from, pain, fear or insecurity.....You're nobody till somebody dumps you...lol...how true.
WOW.... I'm really not alone out there... SweetRavine, Lacedup, Tinkerbell, AquarianDragon and everyone else... Your stories are really helpful and I hope some day soon to be stronger as you all are... Cancer's have been a part of my life since I was born and I think thay have drained me completely. My dad & My grandmother are both Cancer's. The father of my childern is a cancer and he took me through more hell than the man i'm heartbroken over now. So you would like I would know what to do and how to get over all this... But eventhough a cancer man is the father of my kids and I did love him a lifetime ago... it doesn't compare at all to my experience with the current cancer.... my children's father was a cheater from the very beginning and my low self-esteem allowed him to cheat over and over again...and when i finally got tired of it i left... but my current Cancer NEVER...EVER gave me one moment or reason to not trust him... I felt blind-sided in a way... sometimes i feel it would have been easier to deal with if i had caught him cheating... If he does have someone new, he's super guarded about it and probably will never admit to it to me unless it turned into something more serious. This last week I have felt like a truck has run over me... its almost like i take a few steps forward and this last week has pushed me back leaps and bounds backwards... I have been geting better at not contacting him... I don't make contact unless he contacts me first... but now i find myself waiting for that lil glimmer of hope from him...that small text or email...he only calls when he needs something important.
I was raised by my grandmother and she was raised that the woman finishes school...gets a basic job(nothing she loves or a career)...gets a husband and that your life. It sounds old fashioned and it is but that is how i was raised and programmed. Its not what i wanted and its not what i teach my daughter's at all but now at this time in my life how do i "find a life" my grandmother was the main catalys that kept me with my old cancer(kids dad) for as long as i was with him.... she said you just have to put up with it, that what we women have to do(she said)... I have many dreams all of which cost far too much money for me to pursue... so what's left..my kids were my hobbies...they are both coming into there own and i don't have much more time to be mommie(my girls are 15 & 18)... i know they will always need their mom. This past summer when my 18 yr old went to school and my guy left...it was far more than i could handle... my new hobbie is hanging out with the girls... this is good and bad... good cuz i get out of the house...bad cuz i've never been a drinker and i'm finding that's what i'm becoming now..
I pray ever night!!!! I cry everyday! ppl ask me...would u be better and not so crazy if he would just come back? ...and as crazy as it sounds and as many other issues as i would have to overcome(ie Trust)... i would be better and not so crazy
sighs... i still have much work to do ..."and miles to go before i sleep"
I have been reading all of this Cancer man stuff that caught my eye on my home page and I feel like we are all dating the same guy! WOW!
I am a picses and My Cancer man of 4 yrs just left me for a 53 year old millionaire. We just had a baby and it is amazing what money can do to a person and their family. I have been in & out of relationship with him do to what I call the emotional roller coaster ride from hell. But, for some stupid reason until now, everytime he comes back I go back. It is like some sickness or something.
At this point everytime he tries to talk I only speak about the baby.
This entire thing has me sick to my stomache. I am angry, sad, depressed. Then I try to push on with my life and keep my head up. I try to think positive and I want to move on but, there is no one out there that even catches my eye. I just hope it doesn't take forever to get over this guy.
He was the first cancer I ever dated
and I know this much especially after reading all of these emails.
When I ask a man what his sign is.....if his response is a Cancer. I am going to run like the wind>>>>>>>>>
If I ask
It's a shame that you were raised to be so submissive and and old fashioned. And as a Pisces, I can see how that would be an easy role for you to take on. Now that you're older, you understand what kind of pain can be caused by "standing by your man" no matter what the cost. It CAN cost you your sanity, if you're not careful. And there is really only one way to fix that. you must learn to KNOW, UNDERSTAND, LOVE, & RESPECT YOUR SELF -- FIRST. All love stems from self-love, so what type of relationships are drawn to you are a reflection of how you feel about YOU. Insecurity comes from not loving your self. And if you don't, you have a tendency to attract mates that are less than worthy of your love...users, manipulators, cheaters.
I KNOW, I used to be you, until I created a life for myself independent of a man...and acquired friends that would stick by me and care for me outside of my relationships. Men may come and go, but TRUE FRIENDS are forever. Don't EVER dump your true friends for a man in your life. If he can't get along with your friends, DUMP HIM. I learned that the hard way when I was younger.
My second husband was a real scoundrel, and my friends all tried to tell me and I pushed them away. Then when things went south with me and my man, I had no friends there to comfort me. By eating a lot of crow, and apologizing, eventually I did get some of my friends back. But some were so hurt and disgusted with me, that they wouldn't let me back into their life. And I don't blame them at all. They tried to give me good advice, and I wouldn't listen. Of course, that was back when I used to make the man in my life my everything. I smartened up, toughened up, and learned from a very hard lesson.
I understand your need to drink, REALLY I DO. Been there, and done that, too. Oh, it numbs the pain for awhile, but it only puts it off to another day...it doesn't make it go away. You must work through your pain to get rid of it. It's the only way.
Please don't be confused by my own dynamics in my tales of my Cancer man. There are a lot more intricacies to our relationship than you know. While meditating daily with the Medicine Woman Tarot deck, not only did I regain my personal power as a woman, but I became aware that I had past life history with this guy, too. And in our past life, we were married and he absolutely adored me. I was the one who was the real stinker and cheater...I treated him very badly. And he died in battle believing that I did not love him....with a broken heart. And he was right, I didn't love him. I believed I was in love with another. But I remember feeling a lot of remorse after his death, and realized that I did have strong feelings for him...more than I ever let myself admit. And I mourned his death, but he never knew that I did care. So, in this life, I had a Karmic debt to pay to him. And believe me, I have paid it. Actually, I over paid it. Now, he's in debt to me, because he took the Karmic payback too far....way too far. (There are other things that happened, that I don't wish to disclose here.) But, when it's all over with us, I'm going to count us "even", so I don't have to go through this with him ever again...even if he still owes me.
So that's why I still have dealings with him. When the time is right, and I feel we've reached that balance, I WILL call it EVEN and be totally done with it. And THAT has nothing to do with your situation with your Cancer guy. I only gave it as an explanation of how to deal with a Cancer male personality. YOU CAN get them to do what you want, you just have to know how. But I wouldn't recommend doing that just for the sake of doing it. I only do it as a way of balancing our Karma with each other.
I've been studying Astrology, Past-life history, and Tarot for over 25 years. I have a much more intricate and deeper understanding of my relationships than most people. I am a very old soul, and this is the lifetime where everything finally comes together and I get it right for a change. Even if on the outside it doesn't seem that way. I learn from my mistakes and relationships a lot quicker, and bounce back better than I ever did in any previous lifetime. I also found myself, and my calling, in this lifetime.
I am now an ordained minister in a multi-cultural/multi-denominational religion. I have a Doctorate in Divinity, and certifications in Spiritual Counseling, Card Reading, Tantra/neoTantra, and Astrology. I am a lifetime member of the International Association of Behavior Therapists. I work full-time as a Spiritual Counselor, and I specialize in relationship and intimacy counseling. I also provide Spiritual Counseling for Adult Abuse Survivors. I specialize in reading Monte Farber's Karma Cards, and do Astrology chart work-ups with interpretations....which I'd been doing the old-fashioned way by hand until computers came along. I've also studied past life regression, and remember several of my past lives all the way back to about 60 B.C. I'm also a hands-on empathic healer...I do Chakra work using Reiki and stone and mineral therapy.
I suffered multiple forms of abuse at the hands of my natrual father in this lifetime, when I was growing up at home. It caused me to be thrown off my true lifepath as a young adult, and was the primary reason I had very bad relationships with men in my 20's to mid 30's. I went into therapy, and also started studying my own Astrological birth chart to learn about ME...my strengths and my weaknesses. I've learned to work through my pain, and learned how to accentuate my positive qualities and diminish my negative qualities. I now use ALL of my experiences and accumulated knowlege to help other people. My life is very full, and very rewarding.
My life is like a very good cake, and any good relationship I have is simply icing on that very good cake. However, the cake is just fine without the icing. The icing isn't necessary, it's just a nice bonus.
And THAT is where you need to get to...and you start it out by therapy and studying your own birth chart, just like I did. You have to start at the beginning, and work forward. Suffering further emotional abuse from this Cancer man, and drinking alcohol is not going to get you where you need to be. Those things will only keep you stuck in neutral indefinitely.
You need to cut ties with that loser, and go sue him for as much child support as you can get. Any person who creates a child, and then breaks up their home for money is a piece of garbage as a human being. He definitely doesn't deserve your love or understanding, or his child. And that home-wrecking 53-year old Millionairess isn't one bit better. When she found out there was a child involved, she should have taken her interests and money elsewhere. Did you know that there is a good possibility that woman could not only pay for your child's upkeep, but your child's college education, too? If he marries her (or did marry her), their marital assets can be tapped. But I bet she didn't marry him, did she? He's just her play-toy for now...never mind that she destroyed your family.
You need to take the "high ground" and cut him off, and then let those two dogs lie in the terrible Karmic hole they have dug for themselves. There's no good to come to them from their actions, and you don't want to be around when the Karmic backlash hits them where the sun don't shine. Living well, and away from him/them, is definitely your best revenge. Chances are very good that she'll get tired of her play-toy and dump him. Just be sure you aren't the one who picks up the pieces when she does...let him feel the pain of his actions. He needs to feel the consequences to evolve as a human being. If you take him back, he won't evolve.
(That last paragraph goes for you, too, TruPisces7.)
Love & Light to you!
TruPisces7 I feel Myviewpoint totally hit the nail on the head! I am right there with what "my view point" said! I'm a VIRGO! And I fell soo hard in love with a Libra man oh man! And I was with him for 6 yrs he wouldn’t marry me we owned a house together and then when I finally ended (other issues bad ones) it the money was all he wanted!! He sued me for everything! I had to be nice to him kiss his a** so he wouldn't leave me penniless on the street!! the more I learn about Virgos I see how much I am not like the Virgos you read about I am so easy going and caring and I feel everything deeply, though I have a lot of Gemini and Sag in me? Who would of thought!! Libras love to take advantage of me!! The point I set out to make is when we invest everything into someone for so long we end up neglecting ourselves during the process. And now when the time comes for something to happen it almost destroys us! We can’t allow anyone to take our dignity or drive for our lives away! Your soul needs you to be strong as well as your children! It is the worst feeling and it took me two yrs to come to the point that I am at right now. I quote no one should ever have the power to define you!! God put you on earth for a purpose and if you are a Pisces trust me you know what it is! Live your life I can’t wait for you to feel strong and alive it is going to take you on a road you could have never perceived!!! I believe God never gives us more then we can handle, and there is a silver lining you just need to look for it or keep watching because it will make its self known!! TIME will heal you.
Bless you and I wish your heart joy and love!
You are so right! I'm sorry about your Libra man experience. My first husband was a Libra. I thought with me being a Libra that we would have so much in common we would have a great match and life. Was I ever wrong! Libra men and women are very different. Libra gals have a tendency to be more loyal and trustworthy than Libra men. But that's not true for all. From my observations, if a Libra guy is raised in an environment with strong ethics and morals they can be wonderful mates. But if a Libra man was raised in an environment where those qulaities were lacking, they can be the absolute worst mates. Of course that's true of most people to a degree, but we're talking about a Venus-ruled sign that would normally be all about love and companionship. And, God forbid, that he should have a bad relationship with his mother and not respect women. A Libra guy can turn into just as much of a nightmare mate as the next sign. After 2 years of marriage to mine, I was close to a nervous breakdown. It was so bad, that my pastor actually advised me to divorce him. That's pretty serious, as most ministers aren't real big on giving that type of advice. My guy turned out to be a cheat, a liar, manipulator, thief, con-artist, a drinker and a drug addict (he hid it all from me before we married)...and he totally destroyed me financially. It took me years to get my credit back in shape after we were divorced. He had a horrible relationship with his mother, and apparently punished every woman he had been with as a sort of effigy in her place. I literally was left penniless, and almost homeless.
I was still in love with him the day I divorced him, but I knew I had to do it for my sanity and future well-being. He would track me down after the divorce posing as wanting me back, when he really just wanted money from me. I finally had to disappear where he didn't know where I was to get him out of my life. It took me years to get over it...I felt so stupid and betrayed. It was hard for me to believe I could have been so wrong about a Libra...as I am nothing like that. I'm a giver, and he's a total taker.
I have met some Libra guys that were raised right, and while they may be flirty, they are basically pretty good guys. I won't ever get in a relationship with one again, though. There are other signs much more compatible with me than my own sign.
God is merciful, and we do heal eventually. Remember that, TruPisces7.
But we didn't heal until we put the source of our pain away from us, as you must do.
I have more to input on this situation. The bottom line is we are only as frozen in our lives as we let ourselves be. Only we have the power to change ourselves, we can't ever change anyone else. Given that knowledge, stop over analyzing everything. Turn your mind in a different direction, in a direction filled with bravery, smarts, and independence. The quicker you do this, the quicker you will find the gift in this mess. The drinking and any other kind of sedation we choose is just a post poner of the emotions we MUST go through, you can't numb yourself enough to just skip over the lesson in a relationship like this. Embrace, the pain, accept it, call it in, want it, experience it. There is a better life out there for you, all you have to do is be brave enough to get out there and do it!!!
Keep us posted...
Wow!!! I am a Sag and I have been dating a Cancer man for about three months now. I really like this guy alot and when we are together we have an awesome time. There are things about him that are so great but as a Sag I am a very open person. This guy does not like to share. I am also questioning his home life. He says that he is separated and he lives with his sister. He has an extremely close relationship with his kids (8 and 11). But I think he is using the kids as a cover up for why he is always at "their house". He still refers to his wife as such. I understand and respect that she is. We have been intimate and though I should have gotten to the bottom of it before we travelled that road, it is really bothering me now that I dont know the truth about his marital status. My problem is that this guy came on soo strong in the beginning, now I am doing good if we talk once a day! He has completely withdrawn and is too busy now to find the time to call me. He travels alots and in the pursuant stage he called me from everywhere he went faithfully. Now like I said hes always too busy. And if he does he will call me, once in the middle of the day, as if to catch me while working so I too would be too busy to talk. He tell sme how much he misses me and cant wait to see me again. He does find time to hangout. We go out at least once a week when he is in town.... most recently he spent the nite but had to leave in the wee hours of the morning to " take his Mom to church". After reading all thats been posted I am beginning to believe that this is never going to be anything as its being built on a stack of lies.... Does anyone think I am correct in my assumptions?? I dont usually make assumptions but I'd rather cut my ties now and bypass the ugliness that may come if I allow this to go any further???
Sagrocks... i am so not the person to give advice but it all sounds all to familiar to my experience with my first cancer and now it seems to fit some patterns as my 2nd cancer... i would NEVER avice anyone to give up on what their heart desires.. only you know what you should do... and trust me your woman's intuition really knows... like as bad as i feel and as much as i know what the "right" thing to do is... my intuition tells me to hang on... i know that's not the advice that i've been given here and i'm sure it could just be my broken heart talking but DEEP down i feel it will turn around...maybe not in my timeframe but when the universe sees fit...it will
sagrocks, he's married 100%. i had exact situations and excuses from guys twice in my life, turn out their ''sisters'' were their wifes, then they swore they don't sleep together any more..ha,ha ,..... i got hurt, because i thought i could handle it after they confess, and he will, when he feels you are ready and in love with him.Eventually he'll go back to his wife, you are just a tool to hurt her, so he can play cool with her, because he's satisfyied with you,....been there, done that.....Get out before you start invest your emotions into your future with him. The role of a mistress; displacement activity, second opinion, free shrink, ego buster, get his wife's attention, gap filler in his relationship.
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