Captain, Would like your insight on this please.

  • My boyfriend is quite the talker. He talks constantly. I've always been attracted to people who are extroverts. He's a Leo 8-12-43. Problem is--is that he makes himself mad talking about 3 of his ex-wives. His last two died--natural causes. I don't understand this because my ex-husband is in my past. So are all the past hurts. Thing is, I don't think about them or dwell on them. I don't really get it. I don't know how to neutalize him. I tell him that he's getting upset or I'll say, that's enough and he'll stop. By the next day, however, he's talking about it again. It usually involves how they mishandled money, didn't work, or their kids wanted his money. I was telling my sister about him and she thinks there's something else going on w/him like attention deficeit. He's older than me but looks about 55. He has other issues. He's not afraid to speak his mind, especially if someone has upset him. He seems to be ok with me doesn't seem to be abusive and is very loving and affectionate. Maybe he's shouldered a lot--I don't know but I feel the need to talk about it. He has told me several times that if I want to get rid of him he'll go. Sometimes I wonder about him. His name is Michael.

  • Michael has a tendency to project his own failings or ambitions onto others, especially any children involved. He also has a huge need for approval and respect from others and cannot forget if he feels he has been treated badly - even if it happened in the past. This is where the Leonine big ego comes in. These incidents he's recalling are thorns in his pride and affect his whole sense of self-esteem so he can't let go, especially because some of those involved are dead and can't apologise for what he sees as their bad behaviour. Maybe you can somehow manage to turn the conversation around and help him deal with his issues by getting him to talk about the good times when his wives and children perhaps did respect and admire him. He is bringing up these old issues because something similar in his present life is stirring up old feelings of resentment and frustration. Something in the present is making him feel disrespected and abused. Figure out what that is and maybe he will stop bringing up the past.

  • Dear Captain, Thanks for the extra pair of eyes into this. It helps. There isn't any money issues between the two of us. I don't think that I'm affectionate enough for him and I think that hurts his pride. I do love him but I need space. He doesn't have kids of his own but from what I gather one of his wives gave her kids a lot of money. He gets quite involved emotionally with his best friend's situation. His friend has a daughter that has had problems. His friend, by the way, has the same DOB as me. He gets angry when he talks about his friend's situation. Anyway, I'll take your advice and see what I come up with. May be just a quirk. Just strange to me.

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