Compatibility - Please help!

  • This is our signs!

    Him - 28 yrs old - May 6 ,1982 - Sun in Taurus, Venus in Aries, Mars in Libra, Moon in Scorpio

    Me - 37 yrs old - November 13, 1972 - Sun in Scorpio, Venus in Libra, Mars in Libra, Moon in Aquarius

    Thanks!!!! 🙂

  • A friendship here can be vitally important to each of its participants here, often more so than a love affair or marriage would be. Heavy expectations can be unproductive, however, and strict and unforgiving attitudes may make a free and easy exchange between you two difficult or impossible. A love affair can be complex - passion, sexual attraction, and jealousy can run high, with pain and suffering too inevitably close behind. A certain personal magnetism here can result in love triangles, which will have destructive results. Your need for emotional honesty and full expression, Scorp72, may be thwarted or wounded by your friend's critical attitudes and frank assessments. Also, he likes to be left alone a lot of the time, and your controlling or claiming attitude is likely to annoy him.

  • Captain - so what you're saying is, why even bother?? We are both highly jealous but his shows more than mine. He's always making comments about me possibly cheating like, "what man you got over??" but says he's just joking. But he's needy, he always wants me with him during any free time for us! So I'm not sure about the part where it says he likes to be left alone. Most of it is true though. So what do I do?

  • Jealousy is a sign of insecurity and unless you both deal with your issues, this relationship is doomed.

  • And he likes you with him during his free time - yes, but also likes to be alone the rest of the time.

  • Captain - I agree about the insecurity part TOTALLY!!! He's extremely insecure for some reason. He's never been cheated on, so I don't know where it comes from. We are both codependent. SCARY!! He claims he trusts me but yet he really doesn't. Makes you wonder if he doesn't trust himself and he's mirroring that onto me. hmmm Also, how do I deal with him when we are having a heated disagreement? He, being the taurus, thinks he's ALWAYS right and with me being a Scorpio, well you know! LOL

  • Well, one of you is going to have to develop some objectivity and drop the need to be right to be able to stay calm or walk away from a disagreement. Will it be you?

  • Captain --- Of course it's gona be me! LOL I am the mature one! LOL Are taurus men known for playing "games" to test a female? For instance, will they say it's ok for her to go out with her friends but then turn around and pout later and do revengeful type stuff?

  • I'll take a closer look at his profile because his sunsign is not the complete picture.

    Your friend has an issue about being intelligent and being recognised for it. He also fears losing himself to someone else which makes it difficult for him to be completely intimate. He always holds some of himself back. He may have had troubles with his father, or should I say absent father, so that there may be issues around authority or 'the system'. He's yearning for a mentor/older person who can give him the direction and structure he felt he missed out on growing up. Because he felt so lost in childhood, what he really wants now is to be in control of every area of his life and this includes his relationships and other people. He will try to take charge of situations in people's lives without being invited (doing what he thinks a father does) without realising how he is inappropriately usurping others' responsibilities. But he can never gain enough control of others to feel safe to be himself or enough recognition or confidence in his intelligence to be satisfied. He does have a gift for nurturing and supporting others - he just never had a good example of how to properly apply it. It's only by dropping the need for control, and getting in touch with and sharing his vulnerabilities (inadequacy) and insecurities (his fears of rejection and abandonment) and the truth about himself that he will ever find true happiness.

  • Captain - You are so right!! I just didn't look at it from that angle! I've just been thinking that it was about his need for a mother figure. Both of his parents are in his life and always have been but I don't think his dad ever provided him with the normal "father figure" structure that he ALWAYS wanted. He spends alot of time with his dad, maybe trying so hard to gain acceptance from his dad still til this day???? So what do I do? I feed his ego all the time. Should I start putting my foot down more with him??? If I try to talk to him about the above, he'll just be all bull-headed about it!! You know Taurus's are ALWAYS right!! LOL Which makes me wonder, is he doing things (like stepping over my boundaries and pushing his limits) with me to push me to "punish him" or shall I say "discipline him"?? LOL

  • Yes I am a Taurus and I know we can be stubborn. 🙂

    But if things are presented to us in a calm, practical way, then we may consider the issue. He probably has no idea how much he is chasing after daddy love or being a bad representation of a father himself. He surely doesn't have any conscious idea of how he is behaving towards you or anyone. He's probably not much of a one for sitting down mulling over emotional or psychological matters.

    Just ask him if he's happy and say something like you have issues you want to work through and maybe he could help you and you in turn could repay the favour because you've noticed how much he tries to win his dad's love, etc. Something that sounds very reasonable and doesn't make him think you think he is weak or stupid. He worries so much about whether people think he's dumb so make sure your approach to him doesn't imply this in any way. And I wouldn't mention getting any info from a psychic or astrology source, either. 😉

  • Captain ---- First, I want to thank you SOOOO much for helping me!! I've been in relationships with several different types of men but never one like this! LOL I really care about him alot and would like to see things work. 🙂 I have learned to approach him in a calm, mature manner but there are times he just blows it WAY out of proportion, so I just leave him be until he calms down then he's fine. But he still thinks he's ALWAYS right no matter what he did wrong. GAH! What kind of things could I ask him to help me with? OOOOOO, I know!!!! I've had a really distant relationship with my dad! I haven't really spoken to him in about 2 years now. I kind of cut him out of my life because of some issues innerfamily type stuff. My kids don't really even know him, they know his name and that he exists, but the only grandfather they know on my side is my stepfather. Maybe I could ask him to help me work through those issues?????

  • Sounds good. You have to make sure it doesn't sound like you are just trying to help him with his problems or his low self-worth will kick in. That's why he gets upset - deep down he feels he is stupid and not capable of helping himself so it triggers his insecurity when someone tries to help him. But he really needs to understand himself and what's going on with him and his father better. In a way, he is treating you as his parent and taking out some of his frustrations on you instead of his father whom he is fearful of confronting.

  • Captain ---- I asked him last night to help me with my father issues. He said he wasn't sure of how HE could help with that. I told him that just being a sounding board and offering advice would be helpful. He said he wasn't good at giving advice for those things but that he could listen. It's just his condescending tone that he used, as if he really didn't want to help but was just being courteous. What would cause him to say he loves me one day but then not say it again for a while? Is that the Taurus or father issues???

  • Father issues. He is afraid that if he gives his love (like he did to his dad) it could be rejected or the other person might withdraw. Even if he is condescending, it's a way through his 'armour'. It's a start for him to think about father issues even if they appear to be someone else's.

  • Captain

    Ah!! That makes total sense. He's even made the comment that his mother will do whatever he wants her to do. Go buy him things, etc. He's also made the comment, in response to some of the things I've said in convo like "eat your veggies", etc, that I sound like his father!

  • Captain ---- I know I MAY be reading too much into this but here's the scenario. Last week, I snapped at him because of some issues that had been building up in me with him, you know us Scorps are!! lol Well, I told him I needed space, but immediately regretted it, he blew me out in which he has never done that before! So for the next few days, he's been pretty distant. I haven't been invited over to his place like usual. I've spent more time at my house this week and weekend than I have in the 2 months we've been seeing each other! I finally caught on, after researching, that he was punishing me for asking for space, even though I immediately retracted it and apologized profusely!! But here's where it gets weird! Last night, he asked me to come over. We went to sleep, no s-x, and he was all snuggly, as usual. But then this morning, he came running in the bedroom, playfully, and woke me up saying that I needed to get up cause he was taking his mother to breakfast. He was EXTREMELY nice about it, worrying that I was going to be mad. I was more hurt because again here were in the same spot of me building things up, I felt like I was only there when HE wanted me there. I was so upset, but kept my emotions intact, and went to get up and he grabbed me and wouldn't let go because he wanted to "talk" about it. Which confused me because any other time, he gets really defensive like he did earlier this week saying that it was always something with me, that I was constantly wanting to talk about "us", I only try to keep us on the same page, but I backed off since then. But back to earlier today, I told him how I felt and he of course denied that's the way it was but was nice about it. Then he made the comment, please don't go home and think about this all day and find some other guy. That made my head spin. I told him that he doesn't treat me like I deserve to be and he said that he would treat me better. So I left and then we hung out tonight. He must have told me 10 times that he loved me tonight. He's only said that twice in the time we've been seeing each other, once was within 2 wks of dating and he retracted it saying I was special to him and the other time he said "I wuv you". And hes being SUPER sweet to me too!!!! So you know my scorp brain is in overdrive right now because his whole attitude and treatment did a 180 in less than 12 hrs! He's been a complete you know what ALL week and now why all the niceties? It's like it's out of guilt or something. And all the "I love you"s????? From what I've researched, he's an unevolved Taurus and I know he's got a Venus Aries which is prone to cheating. Your thoughts?

  • Oh I also meant to add that he and are friends on FB but he NEVER comments on my wall and I never do on his because he's given me the impression that he doesn't want any of his FB friends to know about us, he just says "I don't like my personal life advertised on FB." But yet he does comment on his fb friends status's and pics every now and then. It's like I don't exist on his FB. Shady????/???

  • So you've never met his friends?

  • Venus in Aries are not necesarily cheaters - you just have to know how to keep them interested -

    "A Venus in Aries person has fiery passions that easily inflame around attractive potential lovers. They'll pursue a love interest ardently, and in extreme cases, this zeal leads them into fly-by-night marriages. Their impulsiveness often gets them in trouble, because they lose interest just as quickly. They don't like anything too settled, preferring some tension in the relationship. For them, combat gets the blood pumping, including mental sparring. They'll flee from a passive partner, or a bond that has lost its luster. Bottom line is that they need challenge, and constant stimulation."

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