I would appreciate some advice about a Virgo...
I’d like to ask your advice about a person I’m seeing. He’s F (17/09/80) and I am M(17/04/81). We have been seeing each other for a bit over 3 months but I’m not sure if this thing is going anywhere. If not, I’d like to finish it before I get more involved.
For several times I have thought that he has probably moved on already but then he suddenly wants to see me again. We always have a very good time when we are together but afterwards I may not hear anything from him for a week or so. I don’t want to push him to talk about his feelings so it’s hard to tell what his plans are. I can´t figure out if it’s because he needs more time and space than I do or he just isn’t that interested. We come from different cultural backgrounds so I don’t know if he’s behavior can be explained to some extent by cultural differences, I’m much more open minded and he’s quite conservative.
I’d really appreciate your advice.
cutevirgin last edited by
Well as a virgo woman, I can say that most virgos are slow!!! We have to analyze everything and not so much you as a mate, but us too. We need to think and think and think and think about everything. Most virgos take matters of the heart very serious and if he didn't he would tell you he just wants some occasssional fun and nothing more. He is probably wondering how you feel about him to and does not want to be pushy. I would suggest sometimes reaching out to him too, not chasing but if you want to hang out just say hey do you want to catch a movie and that will let him know you are interested too and maybe he will take the lead or he could have alot going on, when virgos become busy we go into a zone and occassionally come out to play, but I truly feel if he was not interested you would not hear from him at all, most virgos don't waste peoples' time.
According to his profile, this guy suffers from a lack of resolve and prefers to take the path of least resistence. He will go to great lengths to avoid responsibility and commitment. Challenges or problems cause him difficulty and he runs from them. However he has a very traditional family and friends so he introduces you to them to get them off his back about finding someone and settling down. But he wants to put it off as long as possible. He also has a fear of anyone becoming dependent on him, such as through illness or accident. Long term involvements scare him but ironically it would be where he learns the most about how to resolve problems and conflicts in his life. Having a family and children would be the best thing for him in terms of personal growth.
With your relationship, your friend is extremely discriminating and selective in his choice of a mate - you must pass his rigorous tests before he will trust and accept you, even as just a friend. You should feel 'privileged' indeed if he takes you on as his lover. But until he is absolutely sure of you enough to want to commit - and remember he is a commitmentphobe - he will not want anyone else to think you are his definite choice. So he will treat you very casually until he makes up his mind. However, unless there is a strong bond here of mutual respect, a harmonious relationship between you may be impossible. If you come to see him as selfish or he sees you as unrealistic or sef-deceiving, your relationship will quickly become unstable or even confrontational.
Friendship is stronger and easier here than a love affair - the lack of romantic involvement will forestall many of the emotional problems, aiding its stability. In a marriage, you will both have strict demands and requirements for your living situation that will not meld well. But, if your friend's devotion to duty becomes stronger and living arrangements can be worked out, then the marriage can be a long-lasting and faithful union.
But all this will only happen if you pass his tests and he overcomes his aversion to commitment. And these are big 'IF's.
I appreciate you comment. I got a feeling too that this guy has serious commitment issues, he's friend have also warned me that he's a womanizer and nothing will probably change that.
But out of curiosity, you mention "passing his rigorous tests", what is he looking for or what is he testing exactly?
All the best!
Thanks for your comment, I try to keep these thing in mind when interacting with virgos;) Thanks!
virgogirl64 last edited by
Male Virgos, more often than not, are womanizers....they need to feel wanted and as soon as that challenge fades, they move on.
They also dont like emotional feelings at all , they dont know what to do with emotions, so rather than feel something they always keep you in the "friend" catagory so it feels safe to them.
I would detach , pull way back ,, if he really likes you in that way let him come to you.
Your friend is looking for a perfection that doesn't exist in humans. His tests are deliberately too tough for anyone to pass. He wants the ideal companion who won't put too many demands on him, ask for much of his time, or expect a lot in return for lavishing adoration and attention on him. I pity the poor creature who would be like this and I doubt if such a paragon truly exists at all. It's really just how he avoids commitment - "Oh I am just waiting for the perfect mate." Yeah, right...
You were sooooo right.
Well, he told me that although he is very-very attracted to me, at this point in his life he's not ready for anything more serious and it would be unfair to me if he treated me as a "friend with benefits". But he would really like to remain friends...
Is that it it or is it another one of his tests? Better let it go?
debalou last edited by
hello captain i really need some info on my husband soon to be ex he acts like he still loves me is this worth saving has he changed his mind he is02-21-58 i am 11.20-54
d123456 last edited by
I was with a Virgo on and off for 5 years! Yes they are womanizers and it is very hard to get them to make a commitment. Although they are fantastic and fun to hang out with. I loved mine very much but couldn't wait any longer, finally after we broke up in 2 years he was like, OK let's get married. I was like WHAT! I'm in a relationship. I think they love the challenge. So what I can suggest is that you remain polite and sweet but don't make the effort, let them!
Kuruts, he is still waiting to see if anyone 'better' will come along. Dump this loser and find someone who thinks you are no. 1.
Debalou, please start your own thread and I will answer you there.
Thank you for your advice, I really respect your opinion.
I think my mind is made up now, I can't let him get me distracted from making the decisions and doing the things that are more important in my life at the moment. I just have to make sure I'll stick to it.
I wish all the best for you!
Same to you!
Unmatched last edited by
Russ Lee from Lincoln in England is your classic Virgo.. full of quick wit, energy, fun, warmth Ubba charming and oozes sex appeal .. loves the ladies, loves female company and everything else on here thats already being stated about the Virgo but Id like to add to my own uptake ..
Cowardly .. Spineless ..not sure why people claim Virgo men are good lookers, this one isnt, if he was an Elephant Id call him Nelly ... yes they lie, cheat, try and convince you that you're the problematic issue and underneath all the bravado lies a lonely loner who likes to keep secrets because it makes them feel superior and different from others, simply because they dont like to be judged .. trying to be flawless to Virgo's is important to them but running away when they dont want someone to know something makes them into a living Wimp ...They see themselves as innocent thats why they deny all the Heinous things they do and they hate anyone pointing this out .. Untill he met me :)) and thats excatly what I did .. pointed out and exposed him for what a scheming lying toerag he really was and what did he do? run to the Hills :)) He couldnt out-wit me .. if you cant take it Virgo's dont give it .. Gone forever and always forgotton :0 ))
a88ie last edited by
Your right there. You cannot trust a virgo man.
I know you read in the profiles that you can they are loyal etc, but they are not. Not in any shape or form.
Id move on.. i will walk away even knowing that they are a Virgo male straight away. This classic behaviour you have mentioned is what all 7 of them ive had as freinds do. And i even went on a date with one, as i wasent sure if it could be true but it was. You CANT trust a virgo man. They are not what you think they are.. Nothing is Loyal or Trustworthy in this man. It doesnt even exist in their anatomy.
Pisces1803 last edited by
I'm interested in your comments to cutievirgin. Could you tell me more about my Virgo? His dob is 12/9/74 and mine is 18/3/80.
Pisces1803 last edited by
Sorry Captain, I meant that I was interested in your comments to Kuruts not cutievirgin