Help with scorpio ex

  • I was in a relationship with a scorpio male for 6 months, great relationship amazing connection, even with his friends and family. Scorpio informed me that he may be leaving with his job, me be the typical virgo, I shut down and became emotional at the thought of my man leaving a promising relationship. I needed time alone to think and did not meet with my ex the next day as planned. After thinking I was prepared to meet with my man and talk. My man announced that if he goes away it will be a break up. I broke down in tears, my man sais that he was amazed and he thought I didn't care because I blew him off. After this encounter my ex stated he needed time to think. Once again being the typical virgo, all I saw was that I let my ex down by not being supportive and talking to him so I pushed(called and texted alot). After two weeks of "thinking" he told me he did not want to do the relatinship thing anymore and that I was a wonderful person and he wanted me to remain in his life. I took the break up to heart as I had became very close to his son and we talked about marriage being in the future and made plans to get a home together soon. Gradually over time it seemed we became enemies, as I felt he was being cold to me and he felt I was being too pushy. I said something about his past relationships that hurt his ego and he did confess that it made him upset. I learned he was leaving the state and I tried to reach out to make peace. He told me to leave him alone forever and that he didn't want to talk, yet he called me 3 times, had a conversation and said he couldn't be my friend now. I have always felt confused about the break up, as we never had a face to face conversation. He finally opened up to me and told me that 1) he felt he was in the way of my goals because I told him if he goes away, I am going to my ideal city to live 2) he said that I was controlling because I felt he could have a relatinship with his ex's children without having to communicate with his ex 3) he said I was jealous of his ex because I should have trusted that him being involved with her kids would not hinder our relationhip or that he would never put them before us....what he said after that confused me, he told me that he has not loaned his ex any money (before we got together he loaned her money and she did not pay him back and I would not agree to a relationship if he was going to be giving her money and he said he wouldn't anymore) and he said she is an ex for a reason...I was confused why he would tell me that if we were no longer together. He has been distant since I hurt his feelings with my comment about his past relationships and he told me to feel him alone until I can understand boundaries such as his past relationships, his ex's kids, and his life(always seems to be a door left open), but sometimes he will respond to my calls and there hope for us or is he done???

  • He basically explained it all out in detail on why it's not working and also he did say he didn't want a relationship with you but to remain friends.. there is your answer..

  • I understand that the relationship is over NOW...I am wondering what the future holds...but thanks for trying!

  • I would love to have a Scorpio male's opinion on this...

  • If he changes his mind and decides he wants to have a commitment with you then maybe there is hope of some sort, but alas you would need to work on the issues he seems to think you are having with the relationship. By him giving you an outline of what he didn't want shows he has a mindset on what he wants and wont deal with anything less than what he wants. Typical Scorpio.

  • ok, thanks for that insight! He never really explained his relationship with the kids, which I do not have a problem with, I only wanted him to make sure the lines of respect was clear to his ex. I too have been in situations were my parents dated and I made bonds with their lovers. I am also confused by his actions it's like he says he is done or to leave him alone but will call me 3 times and it seems that he is leaving a door open. Is it a normal practice for scorps to be distant and mean to their ex or is it what I said about his past relationships that hurt his ego and do you think he will ever open to me again, even just as friends, I hate that I hurt his feelings.

  • "I am also confused by his actions it's like he says he is done or to leave him alone but will call me 3 times and it seems that he is leaving a door open." ---His actions show he is very scared of getting hurt and I do believe it has a lot to do with his past relationships.

    " Is it a normal practice for scorps to be distant and mean to their ex or is it what I said about his past relationships that hurt his ego " ---Scorpios take everything to heart, They are very emotional and deep, they think way too much, their ego gets easily bruised so don't be so hard on yourself about you hurting him. Scorpios get distant when they are confused or scared which he seems to be.

    I feel he will open up to you again.

  • Thanks gypsy! I sometimes feel I am being a fool or naive, but the virgo in me senses he is emo or going through some tough things. He is moving to cali supposebly for good and he is leaving his son here on the east coast which I am sure bothers him and his sister and her family announced they are moving to the middle east. Its seems the more I try to be there as a friend, he pushed me further away, although I do want my relationship back, at this time I accept that he needs to better his career and I would like to be friends. The communication has been very slim and most of the time is from me reaching out to him, but I did send him a going away gift that he liked to show my support for him. Hopefully he will open up. His friend did tell me that my ex said he expected us to last longer, so maybe he just needs to regroup and we need a chance to miss each other. I have prayed for a sign from God, but something keeps telling me to hold on and be patient.

  • He seems to have a lot on his plate.. I think it would be best to let the dust settle a bit so you both can see clearly and go from there. Let him miss you 😉 Scorpios love to chase. just follow your instinct but at the same time try not to think too much about this ,try not to torture yourself on what you should have done.. or what if you did this instead of that..etc.. repetitive thinking only leads to anxiety and frustration.

  • Sorry, I think of things as I submit...while we were dating I remember him saying that he hate that I came into his life at such a time, due to his financial struggles...but I am independent and caring so I never look to any man as a financial provider, many times I would treat us or just pay my own meal, so it was clear in the relationship that I loved him for him, but I too wondered if he felt he was inadequate for me because as he was breaking up, he told me I would find a boyfriend, I can't see a man so in love say that, who wants to really see their ex move on???? But I will take your advice gypsy and thanks again, your insight has been great.

  • "who wants to really see their ex move on????"

    someone who genuinely cares about you and wants the best for you.

    He needs to get his things together, he needs to feel good about himself.. and work through his issues. Once he starts working and feeling good about himself things might change. I feel he does care about you but his self doubt and self torture/ low self esteem is hindering his progress.

    He would do great in changing his negative way of thinking. It's hindering him.

    All the best and I am glad I was some sort of help. 🙂

  • wow, now that I think about it, he has stated he felt like he is an underachiever compared to his siblings and his maybe you are right! I will continue to be a supportive friend to him.

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