Captain, help with past love question...

  • Hi Captain,

    Your previous posts have been of great help to me, and I am hoping I can trouble you again for another reading. A past love has been interested in reconnecting, and I wonder what you see for us. His birthday is 11/14/1964, 1am, West Hartford, CT, and I am 11/22/68, 9:28pm, Philadelphia, PA.

    Thanks in advance for you time and insight!

  • This is best of all and easiest for friendship. Your friend's dominance and your rebellious attitudes would appear to clash but actually the chemistry of the relationship is quite auspicious and can be beneficial for both of you. It emphasises solidity, stability, and open avenues of communication. As friends or business partners, you two could harness your considerable energies in the service of a cause or organization, and the dynamic of your matchup is often much greater and more forceful than the sum of your individual parts. On the other hand, the effects of your union, although favorable for you two yourselves, can have unfavourable consequences for other people, so that you must be prepared to encounter animosity and stiff resistance.

    A love affair here can be hard to resist, even if one of you is already involved in a perhaps happy primary relationship. Great care must be taken in starting up such an affair, however, for self-destructive tendencies of which neither of you is at all aware may be at work here. One or both of you might be sabotaging your own efforts because of guilt or fear by being too inflexible or non-sharing. There can be an element of hero-worship here from you, Astronelly, for this man, even a submission to him. The pleasure of this pairing can be great, but so can the pain, and in fact quite an agonizing scenario can emerge for everyone concerned. Marriage between you usually requires a cast-iron commitment - as spouses, you will deal with any infidelity in an extremely unforgiving way.

    Friendship or a working partnership here are usually highly rewarding on a personal level, but if they lack interest and challenge, frustration is sure to result.

  • Many thanks, Captain. We got on quite well and the chemistry was certainly there. In fact he asked me to see him exclusively after only a couple of dates which was far too fast for me, but we liked each other so he agreed to wait. He lives a distance from me (about an hour and a half) but is also currently unemployed so he came here often. My situation, between kids and work made it difficult for me to go to him, and I know that his lack of employment (he is a mechanical engineer) is understandably upsetting to him. He also tends to be a bit jealous which made me move in the other direction, as I like freedom, and is why I ultimately ended things. He says he has changed and wants to see me again - that he feels we are "soulmates." I do miss our deep conversations and spending time with him, and feel on some level like he "gets" me, but am not certain whether it is a good idea to go there again.

  • No he hasn't changed much at all so be very careful.

  • And make sure he is completely free before you get involved.

  • Interesting. Should I be thinking he wasn't free last time? He was here constantly, and would have been here more if I had wanted him to be - can't imagine how he would have had time for anything else.

  • I mean, THIS time.

  • OK, thanks. Do you see that he might be with someone else now then?

  • Yes I do think that he might have a 'significant other'. Be careful. He might say its' over but that may be stretching the truth. I do think he feels very restless and tied down.

  • That is so interesting! He made a point of asking me who I was seeing, and said he wasn't seeing anyone, but I didn't delve into it with him, just let him talk. Then he asked if I would go away with him for a weekend, just us, so we could spend time alone together and see how it felt. I told him I wasn't going to just go away with him suddenly after 5 months of being apart, and that I thought my reasons for breaking up with him were still valid. Then he asked if he could just come and see me, and I said I'd think about it but didn't really see the point. I have been leaning toward no anyway and based on what you are saying I guess my intuition is good here. I have a feeling this is not the last I will hear from him - he tends to crop back up every month or so.

  • Astronelly, you can try saying you will come visit him and ask if you can stay with him. That should put the frighteners on him and expose if he is already with someone.

  • Lol...not a bad idea! Next time I hear from him, I will suggest that and will let you know what happens. Thanks so much! Have a great day!

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