Job reading please?
Just lost one of my jobs. Kind of dumb as we discussed my upcoming schedule a few weeks ago. I am slammed for the next 10 days at job 2. The other day job 1 sent me 5 "time sensitive" things to take care of and I hadn't even opened them as Thursday is a day I normally carve out time for him (I go to his office on Mondays). Well, he was peeved as I had not touched them, and frankly he is looking for someone that has more time than I can give him at this point. Plus he is so sporadic that it's almost as if I have to be "on call" but not getting paid till he calls me. Tough way to work and of course I had other jobs to fill in the gaps.
Unfortunately job 2 slows down in the next 10 days so I am now left high and dry! I've already put some feelers out but I don't have a second to follow through on anything until the 2nd week of October. Kind of bummed as I had planned on working with him through the winter anyway and then deciding what to do. I already knew I'd rather work 3 PT jobs than for this one guy FT - he's too disorganized and that just made me crazy. I need more peace and less crazy in my life now and I am old enough to figure out which is which.
So while this is a blessing in disguise, it was not at the right time for me.
Will things work out? I've been told things will pick up for me financially in October or so, which always surprised me as I saw the writing on the wall here and am worried about job 2 as well for a few other reasons.
Just not a good job-based 18 mos for me! (so weird as I thought I was in a good number year!)
Thanks all, my bday is Mar 18 1965 if you need it.
bump? Financial, job, whatever. I don't play lottery LOL
Just a little panicked about paying bills coming up - I had just settled in too, made the mortgage last month w/o borrowing from the business or stashed cash!.
Thanks to all,
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Thanks Watergirl! No worries if you can't, I sensed something was up with you as you have been so quiet.
I think I know this is the right thing for me, just not when I was ready for it, that's all. I like to plan stuff like this a LITTLE more and I can't plan what I don't know.
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Lol me and Temperance! I'll come back tothis tomorrow. Hard to respond on the mobile device. But it is perfect. I know I'll land on my feet, I always do somehow. Just don't like surprises and this sure was one! Thanks and I hope you are doing well!
Back to the keyboard! Level-headed is an understatement! He doesn't have 40 hrs of work a week, 20 on a busy week at best. But he's a traveling salesman and he wants someone available when HE is, whenever that may be. I take some of the blame as I was slow in work a year ago when we started and I said "call anytime" and boy did he! When it became - and this is a rough term - abusive - 7 days a week, any time from 7am to 9pm I started to not answer the phone and called him back when I could (I was dropping other jobs to help him out and it just hurt my other work). Then he would start calling every 10 minutes until I did answer. We sat down and talked and he is so black and white - something I hadn't seen previously - that he stopped calling and then complained I wasn't available. I have a standing weekly meeting that he knows about and yet calls in the middle of it. I was also good in not caving in to his whining when I said I wasn't available - and boy did he whine! Which in his eyes made me even less available.
Thing is the guy that worked for him before was never available to do this as he had a full time job. Him and I have kept in touch all summer. While my co-dependency lets me take blame, I know from talking to him that I am really not to blame, this is a personality trait of his which is not my fault. I was so frustrated as I am very good at the things this job offered me and loved it, yet I always felt behind and under the gun. After talking to the previous guy ("what am I doing wrong?!") I found out it was not me, it was the ADD tendencies of the client I could not overcome. He claims his business is "going places" and he wants to take me along with him, but it's been a year and it added to my stress with very little benefit. I know this.
The previous guy is going back to help but he's really mad at himself for falling for the whining. He doesn't know how I stuck it out for the year, and now I'll enjoy his venting emails to me.
So yes, this ending was a good thing, just not yet on my terms. I pray he does not bad-mouth me to others in the industry, that he merely says he needed more hours than I could give him - which is true. I have already contacted another rep and ironically enough I had 3 people mention jobs in the last couple of weeks. One is FT so I dismissed that but I will pursue the others, and dust off a couple older bookkeeping opportunities that showed up over the summer (again one is a customer of this ADD/OCD guy so I hope he doesn't say anything inappropriate there either).
I know I had issues of my own this summer - I do admit to my faults - but I look at my phone bill vs billable hours and think oh boy - what a mess this was!!! (I'd be available to the guy for 8+ hrs and be lucky if I billed him 90 minutes - not a way to pay the bills!)
However it taught me a lot about scheduling, how I need to live, what I need to do to survive and be happy in my new life, the life it took me 20 years to find. How to set boundaries for my own health and well being. Which is why I didn't want to work for him 40 hrs a week. These are all good lessons for me.
I know whatever comes to me job wise in the future will only expand on this.
BTW I love this that you said: "Understand that sometimes in order to get what you want you must ride up along side of your opponent rather than charging at them head on"
This is EXACTLY what I am doing with the woman at job 2, who got frustrated with me for some mistakes I made in a job it took her over 5 years to develop. I have offered to help her again (in the hopes of getting that portion of the job back when this portion slows down) and have seen HER make the same mistakes I had made - that she threw me under the bus for. I am not doing that to her but working with her to quietly fix the issues. Hoping this works out as well, I really enjoy it.
Thanks so much for the reading, I am talkative today LOL. Off to get some chores done and EAT!
Hey Watergirl18, great update on this!!!
Job 2 (which is now Only Job LOL) has slowed down. Still have plenty of work but not the 55+ I was putting in for awhile. I worked really hard on the portion of the job I still had, not sure of my profits but I think it was successful.
The boss said today we needed to talkat some point about my hours with this portion, and while she knows I had a number of personal issues this past summer, if I wanted she would be willing to give the other portion of the job back to me. YAY! I said I really enjoyed it and DID want to continue doing it. That we had learned a lot about having one person (me) do these two very different jobs and we should be able to rework the schedule so everything works BETTER than 2010, and myself and the other guy are not overwhelmed.
Boss asked me what I was looking for to replace job 1, and who knows, the other portion of your reading may come to pass as well. No promotion at this time but HAVING any job is reward for me.
And woman who throws us under the bus? She gave her notice and will be here for the next year working on the big event only.
What an amazing turn of events! I still need something flexible to fill in the rest of my hours (I may take a winter job) but thank you for giving me the nudge to believe in myself a little more than I was.
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I would love to hear the epiphany when you get a chance. Sun - Tues has been just WEIRD. Thanks!
Hope you are doing well....
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I just glanced at this before leaving work - yes scary stuff. Can you email me?
I wasn't kidding when I said this week has been nuts and I feel shiftings inside me (in a good way) but that has happened before and I've been triggered back. I am hoping my growth is allowing the shifting to stay were it belongs.
But I had 3 distinctly crazy things happen since Sunday night...... 5th is tomorrow - event on the 6th - inner strength - yep!
Thanks, I'll touch base later...
I thought I fixed it before hitting post, geez I wish we could edit!
One "L" in lily, not two
Like the forum name with 65 after it
Still absorbing, and I need to go back to your original post about Nov 5, I did see it earlier this week.
I fell asleep contemplating your love paragraph. Which wasn't a bad thing as when I woke up I jotted things down and again this morning.
Imagine for a moment that love has two dimensions: the horizontal, confined and enclosed by time and space; and the vertical, representing the infinite, eternal link with spirit. Human love often gets caught up in the horizontal zone, fostering the desire to own, possess, and control one’s “love object.” Such strategies, motivated by fear, are doomed to fail. <<
I have been getting messages for you from the cards for a while now about giving up control and your desire to force him into your desired outcome. <<
My knee jerk reaction was to say no way that is NOT me. I am very laid back and easy going, really a great person to be in a r/s with. Very few demands. One of the reasons we got along so well was because we were SO alike in so many ways that issues I had in past relationships never cropped up. We truly treated each other as we wanted to be treated by others - and it was amazing and it worked.
So I pondered....... and I will still argue that while it was more him DURING the relationship (for reasons I understand), it IS now me.
So why is that? I think for me it is fear brought on by regret. Regret that I messed up and pushed away the man I loved - who loved me. Unintentionally for sure, but it happened. I know there were other issues. But I blame myself quite a bit (I’m good at that). Regret I may never be able to show him that what he dreamed of and got glimpses of, does exist. Some days I feel like I am running out of time - now or never. Today I am feeling better, calmer, at peace. I am still in a place where that can change in a heartbeat but it’s a start.
This is a long hard process and I know you understand this. I have always recovered from relationships so quickly that I felt I really didn’t need one. I was going to be the youngest cat lady in town! Then I found one I was happy with, that meshed with me so well, we complimented each other in ways I never dreamed possible. Then he backed off a bit, I was doing OK, and suddenly I was hit with a ton of epiphanies myself. What a ride that was! I saw so many things more clearly, I knew so much. Who else to share these with but the man I had spent over 3 yrs. with, the man I wanted in my life forever? But he had stopped talking (he always was the talker in the family). And that’s when my control issue started. “If only he would LISTEN”. Which is how I spent much of my summer - if only he would LISTEN. I tried to make him listen. And maybe he did. But he would never talk to me so I never really knew. And funny thing is, he would never have tolerated that from me had the situation been reversed. So I treated him the same way: This is what HE would do to get my attention, so I am going to do it to him. Didn’t work.
You know this, you tell me this, you are right lol. He has to come to his own epiphanies. So much of what you’ve said in the past still sits in my mind too - being a calm happy place he can come to. I just have to believe in it ALL the time so as not to tie Spirits’ hands. I did like that analogy BTW, it helps a lot. Also what you said last week - “all the things I want and deserve - or MORE”
I had to laugh a bit over the meditate part. My mind does not shut off well. Even days when I go to Church to pray, there were days I had to get up and leave when I realized I was mentally writing a to-do list instead of praying. But this has been a year for new things.... and I think tonight is a GREAT night to light a candle and meditate.
BTW check the new moon? My computer calendar says 12:52 AM Saturday. I am going to re-read Poetics post as well, along with yours.
I know in my heart what happened WAS a good thing. I have grown in ways that if they happened with US, would have taken forever. 4 months ago I would have argued that too, but I can see this now. Something had to happen to shake things up. Again I remember your words, just because I am ready doesn’t mean he is.
If you can find an analogy for having >>Faith in your reunion<< WHILE letting go of control, I would love to hear it. That will be my biggest sticking point for sure. I guess it is having so much belief that I do not think about it anymore.
Thankfully I learned at a young age to listen to my intuition and I am pretty good at it. I will keep my ears open during this time.
Thanks and much love for all you do here. I hope you are having a great day yourself.....