Gemini with a Moon in Cancer ... OMG!!!
I need help. Here's the deal:
In a "friendship" with a male Gemini with a moon in Cancer. He's VERY Cancer though. Sensitive, elusive, protective, caring, but not very direct at all. He has the "sideways" thing about himself very, very strong and it has caused lots of complications in our relationship.
Me ... I'm a Scorpio female with a moon in Libra. Very strong on the scorpio. With him I'm passionate, reserved, deep emotionally (but I don't think he sees it), very direct, and a little possessive ... just a little ... I promise.
He broke up with me 3 weeks ago. His reasons: 1. He's moving on with another friend and is now in a relationship with her, 2. He's tired of me being in and out of the relationship (I'll explain more later), 3. He feels a deeper bond with this other friend & says she's "been there for him."
Here's the situation. We know each other from high school, haven't seen each other since, but ran into each other on an alumni site back in November, 2008. He pursued me and pursued HARD. I allowed him to. I enjoyed his attention and he enjoyed mine. We were both enduring divorces at the time and began to see each other romantically. He lives in another city, but not far from mine. Maybe 4 hours away. Our attraction and connection was equally deep and passionately strong. It was undeniable and we both loved it. But sometime around the middle of 2009 I started having trust issues. I would break things off with him abruptly for the most ridiculous reason. Looking back in hindsight, they were silly reasons, but at the moment of me deciding to end things ... it would make perfect sense to me. He said I had trust issues and that they were probably stemming from the divorce and the infidelity from my ex-husband. I agreed. He was patient. I was trying to work on my issued, but it kept happening. I would get scared and let him go because being the Gemini that he is ... I would witness his flirtatious banter on another social network and it would infuriate me (being the scorpio that I am) and I would end it. As in "It's OVER!!" Only to come running back to him within a day wanting to apologize and get back together. He would always explain himself and let me know that his flirting was nothing and that I was safe and he cared deeply for me and to just relax. I couldn't. He became increasingly annoyed and tired by my incessant need to fly the coop at the first sign of distress. I kept doubting that the relationship would survive and didn't want to go through with anything with him because I was already feeling so strongly for him. When things didn't seem to be going my way, it would scare the heeby-jeebies out of me and I'd leave. He told me that it hurt him each and every time I did that. I understood and didnt' want to hurt him, but I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting me either especially right after my divorce. I couldn't take it. Finally, a month ago, I did it again for like the umpteenth time. I saw a suspicious message from a friend of his, I became upset and scared and I called and told him I couldn't do this anymore. He was so angry and said "I'm cool with it because I'm sick of your sh**!!" I understood his frustration. And in my true fashion, I called him back trying to explain my feelings and he tried to accommodate them and communicate how he cares for me. So, I thought we'd were okay and had patched things up. I didn't call him for a week because I felt like I'd done too much to him and I wanted to give him space. WRONG MOVE. He called me at the end of the week on a Saturday morning and broke things off with me and I'm scared he's gone for good. That's when he gave me his reasons for leaving. I was devastated to say the least, but I didn't let him see it. TRUE SCORPIO OVER HERE. I was cool, calm, collected, mature and even a little professional about it.
However, during his break up, I noticed he lingered on the phone. Wouldn't get off. I kept asking him had he said everything he needed to say and he said yes, but sat on the phone. So, I decided to ask a few more questions because of course I didn't want things to end so I kept talking. Finally, we both got quiet and I asked again had he said everything and again he says yes, but sits on the phone. I tell him that he's answered all my questions and thought that I was giving him an out so that he could conclude his break up phone call so that I can begin my crying session. Still ... he didn't. Finally ... he just said, "Okay then ... goodbye."
Four hours later after crying, I called him back (in my true fashion) and told him that I wasn't giving up and if he had an ounce of desire for me that I didn't want him to give up and I said, "I know I sound crazy right now, but I don't care ..." He interrupted my plea and said, "No ... I don't think you sound crazy at all ... I'm listening ..." So I tried to muster up all the emotional strength I had to convey to him that I loved him and didn't want him to move on and that we needed to see each other and speak face-to-face. He said it wasn't possible that night, but that he "needed to think." And asked if he could call me back. I said okay. I calmed down. He didn't call for the rest of the week.
Finally, after 5 days of thinking ... I decided to accept his termination. I called and told him that it's over and that he's right ... he has too much going on in his life (still fighting with his ex wife; she had him put in jail the week before & fighting with his daughter's mom over child support) and I told him to take care of himself and it was over. I had to leave it on his vm because it was 6am and he wasn't up yet, but I just needed to go ahead and say what I needed to say. He never responded that day. I called again the next day to extend my friendship because when he broke up with me he said he wanted us to be friends, so I called to make sure he knew that it was okay for us to be friends, but that the romantic aspect of our relationship was over. I didnt' hear from him the entire weekend.
He called that following Monday completely upset and said the weirdest thing. He very emotionally said, "YOU SAID IT WAS OVER!! YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS!! YOU SAID YOU WERE OVER ME!! (which I did say that. he pissed me off and my scorpio couldn't let him get away without a sting on his way out the door). I calmed him down and told him, "Yes, it is over, but I never said we couldn't be friends. You know I would never say that. We said we'd always be friends if nothing else." Finally, we end the conversation and I haven't heard from him since. I tried to call him 2 weeks ago and left a vm to just say hello and he hasn't returned my call.
One more note ... he's a private person, but just after he broke up with me, he updated his relationship status on the social network to say that he was in a relationship and right after his post about 5 of his female friends all chimed in with "lol's" and one said something peculiar. She said, "Dang team!! LOL" As if this was some inside joke or just something weird. My thoughts at this point is ... he didn't want to end our relationship, but did because his feelings were hurt because I ended things with him the week prior to. I also think that he was trying to get some kind of reaction from me, but I'm not sure. His break up just seemed weird to me. One minute I think this man is in love with me and the next ... I feel like he wants to really hurt me. I guess I just want other people's thoughts on this situation. I'd be glad to explain more if anyone has any specific questions.
I guess my natural question is, Is he really done with this? Is he really gone?
"Is he really done with this? Is he really gone?"
Yes he is.
" He's moving on with another friend and is now in a relationship with her,
He feels a deeper bond with this other friend & says she's "been there for him.""
There is your answer.
Thanks for your reply gypsydreams. I just don't believe it's what he wanted. It's not what I wanted either, but considering the way things were going ... he had no other option, but to move forward. I don't blame him. Just wished things would have been different for us. The connection was strong and it's hard to walk away from these types of connections because they don't come very often and when it's there ... you know it's special and meaningful. I suppose our timing was bad. I shouldn't have gotten so involved with him right after my divorce. That was my mistake. Couldn't help my feelings though. We were very strong together emotional in spite of all the things we were up against. The distance. Our divorces. Communication issues on his part. Trust issues on mine. Through all of it ... we both seemed to really want it because we endured all that for over a year and a half. We both wanted it, just couldn't get on the same page and get it. It's just so disappointing.
My hope is that he'll return. My hope is that he won't forget about us and not forget about what we had and want to try again later.
I hope you get what you hope for but don't forget your worth.