Help. Cancer woman with Aries guy...

  • Will try to keep this short and sweet. Met a fabulous guy on a dating site about 8-9 months ago. He is the sweetest, kindest, most caring individual I have ever met. Super analytical...a bit of geek, but truth be told, I love him very very much. He is 50, I am a young 48. We are pretty much great in every aspect of our relationship except for in the bedroom... I get almost no romantic foreplay or affection and I have yet to be satifsfied. I take care of him...but I am left in the dark. We have talked about it and talked about it, yet nothing really seems to get resolved. We almost broke up and he was extremely understanding, but them we could not go through with it because we do love each other very much. There are some physical & medical reasons for the incompatibility and we are supposed to talk about a "gameplan" soon, because we have not been "physical" for about 3 weeks or more. We dont live together and we both live busy lives and when we get together I just want special and I get ...not-so-special. Am I crazy to think that two people can be great and love each other so much and just not have it in the bedroom?? Is this something that can change over time? Everywhere I look it says we are not a good compatible match, or have to work hard with it... I do see that I need more emotional connection and of course am very sensitive, but I am confused. I never thought I would be with an Aries again, my ex-husband was an Aries...and we DO NOT get along at all. I was young and foolish and I am a bleeding heart...never knowing when to walk away. But now, I am older and much more appreciative of the "good" guys.... am I expecting too much? I'm too young to not care about great, fulfulling sexual relationship.....

  • I think it's important, and I don't blame you for worrying about it. You aren't letting it affect your opinion of him, and that's the most important part. But, if he doesn't make an effort to really improve and satisfy you, then that might say something about the relationship. Though, this must be really hard for him. It's got to be humiliating not to be able to satisfy the person you like, especially if they can satisfy you. That might also be affecting him -humiliation and fear. But, all you can do is work on it together. There is a solution, you guys just have to find it. Just tread carefully....I don't think men like to be told they aren't 'sufficient'.

  • I too have an aries as an ex. Don't miss her at all. Demanding and self centered. She was a good lover, but used sex as a tool. We were married for 15 yrs and have two kids, but we could not connect. Don't miss her at all. I'm with a libra now and some say a leo and a libra aren't compatable because of our signs. You can't have fire without air

  • Steveo I heard you need the air to feed the fire. They do get along if you can over look somethings. If I am not mistaken they are both fire. Yes I checked they are both fire. Are you a Cancer? Well you like to run things to. I see the conflict. Your very opinionated Cancer and the Libra doesn't work against you. She likes balance and so she works with you. Hope you do better with her than you did the others. But she won't understand you pulling back into your shell and not sharing whats going on with you, so share your feelings with her or your going to be out there looking again. I answered your post in All About Libras.

  • Goodness, I am not much on helping cancers(destroyed my life) but I will say that you have an oppotunity to teach this Aries what makes you happy in bed. I would much rather teach a guy what to do than be with a guy who is "good in bed" all that usually means is that he has been with alot of other women and probably will continue to do so. It make take awhile but cancers are pretty tenacious.

  • im an aries woman but I can tell you that if he is communicating his feelings with you about the situation and willing to work on this with you def try to stick this out. aries wear their heart on their sleeves and if he wasnt attracted to you, it would be obvious. i dont understand why aries get a bad rap for being demanding and self centered either. I usually feel like i am more of the giver in the relationship and i am very sensitive to other peoples feelings. I love my family and friends and they all know it!!! I am usually the one being taken advantage of. please dont stereotype aries cuz not all of us are all about ourselves.

  • I'm in love with an Aries myself, I love how caring and wonerful he is to me, hang in there and try to work on those problems. Some times emotional love is far more rewarding than physical..but keep sorting out the problems and don't give up just yet.... you may regret it for the rest of your life.

  • Hi librasLair,

    I've read your postings. Thank you. In the past I would do just that and go in self protect mode. I had not thought about it in those terms. My aries could not let things go and everytime we disagreed or debated with some heat...all my mistakes was brought up. With my libra we talk about everything together and what is best for everyone involved. When the issue is put to's done! Our conflict resolution takes so much less time focusing on the the current topic instead of reliving everything I didn't do to please her. I try to learn from all my expierences and I have found more peace in my life with my libra, then any time in my adult life. I'm 51and my last check up my blood pressure was 104/80. 139/95 with the aries. big difference

  • Hi blueglasslady,

    Being a Leo, I think it's important that your compatiable in the bedroom. Yes, there is more to life than a roll in the hay, but the passion and love you can have between two people is special. You mention a physical problem but: he has arms to hold you, lips to to kiss you and a voice to whisper in your ear how special you are and what you mean to him until this problem gets cured. You say you two are in love..that's all that really matters. Still if amore is important to you, it should be important to him if you two have true love. Sex with someone you care about is about as good as it gets and something to look forward to. Hopefully your situation will take care of itself and you both live happily ever after! Good Luck

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