Captain can u please help with a reading please!

  • I am giving mu DOB in case u need it, i am unhappy in my marriage and want to know about future life

    I am 17 Dec, 1974 and the guy who came in my life 3 months ago is 23 aug, 1975, he is also married but loves his wife intensely, he used to love me 30 years back and found me online and forced me to get into an online intimate relationship with him, although i was not interested, but somewhere i had a soft corner for him that gave way and there was a void in my life too so i got emotionally involved with him. soon his wife read some of his messages and he abruptly ended everything between us with a line and said he will not contact me at least in the near future because he could not control himself when he talks or writes to me and there are no limits when he is in contact me, this makes me very upset. Can u please predict if he will come back in my life at all, as our intimacy grew really strong very fast within a month, but based on a previous strong 30 year old friendship and then ended. I am very unhappy now. Although i haven't seen this guy in 30 years as he lives in different country and i cannot even relate to him physically, but still i have that old affection for him that has changed somewhat to deeper feelings. Please help if u can.

    I will be very grateful.

  • You need to become free and single before you start looking around for another partner or you will cause grief to both your family and yourself. This man you are interested in as a way of escaping your unhappiness would not be a very good partner for you. Though your relationship would be sensually satisfying for a while, your friend would come to feel misunderstodd and unappreciated by yourself, who would tend to dominate him. His rather fragile self-esteem would sink further while with you and you would end up having to deal with his depression. You need someone with a stronger will who would not collapse under the weight of your dominant freedom-loving nature.

  • And someone can hardly 'force' you into an online relationship - be honest about wanting to flee your marriage and don't blame anyone else for wanting to get out..

  • First and foremost, I want to thank u for taking the time to answer me and yah u are right, i agree and realize it, but do u see him try to make contact with me again as i have lost him for this time and am not in contact, but if he wants to start it again, this time i'm not letting him do it, i'll be clear to him, but i just want to know if he will return or not? And this question also i am asking u because he left me without an explanation and abruptly, we never fought andd we were always at talking terms, still he could not explain or write or call me in a proper manner to end things, and this issue became real big for me and hurted me severely as i had not expected this from him being a very close friend. And also please if u can do a reading for me that what would be better for me, to end this marriage? and will i get another suitable man in my life or not? I 'll be very thankful please...

  • I am also giving my husbands DOB is 25 may 1973 if u need it in giving me a reading regarding our marriage., please reply soon, i'll be very thankful to u

  • No Patak I don't see your lover coming back - he felt guilty about the relationship and there were things he came to dislike about you as well.

    With your husband, your relationship is full of contradictions. You two are often outgoing personalities, yet your relationship is earmarked by intimacy and sensitivity. Further, your matchup is governed by feeling so it puts a wholly unexpected emphasis on your inner, emotional life. It is also changeable in nature, in a way that makes it unfathomable and in the long run unsettling for you both. Love and marriage may offer you two gregarious individuals a protective retreat from the world, but one that is difficult for you to understand. You Patak may not be quite as confident and together here as you appear in other areas, and your husband senses your insecurities almost immediately, empathizing with your hidden problems without even being told about them. Once your trust is gained in a relationship, you can come to rely on a partner to discuss personal difficulties or even just to listen to your complaints. Your husband is also a complainer but you may be less patient in furnishing him with a supportive ear.

    You and your husband's differences in outlook come to the fore in this relationship. Where you tend to see the big picture, he likes to concentrate on the individual data of experience, one by one. He being the more factual and you the more philosophical, you will often argue over what course to follow, but a reconciliation is not out of reach, and an integrated versatile and productive relationship can result.

    What I am seeing here is you Patak looking outside your marriage for someone to complain to about your problems, someone who will sympathise with you, rather than sorting your differences out in a sit-down, face-to-face discussion with your husband. Does he know how unhappy you are? If he did, perhaps he would try to repair the damage in the marriage - maybe get marriage counselling. You must reconcile your differing points of view and at least give him a chance to fix things between you. Don't isolate yourself - reach out to him. Develop intimacy but not dependency on others. This marriage can be protective, empathic and trusting. Or it can be full of contradictions, puzzles, and complaints. It's up to you to decide which it will be.

  • Thank u so much Captain for taking the time to answer me, if u don't mind and if u can give me an insight on what he started to dislike about me, never mentioned anything?

    Now instead of making my marriage a disaster, i need to work on it to make it peaceful and loving relationship, the only problem is that i have tried several times to sit down and talk on the serious and delicate matters but he always seems to avoid the whole topic all together and never answers me and that annoys me even more. I hope u can get to what I am trying to say, I am the type of person to always discuss problems and sort them out but he is just the opposite, lives in his own world and always avoid discussion. I just dont know how to make him a part of the discussion so that the problems get solved rather than just me becoming more and more unhappy and sad.

  • Your friend felt you were becoming too domineering - pushing him to do what he didn't want to do.

    Tell your husband that if he doesn't talk, you will leave him. Maybe that will shock him awake.

  • yah, in the end after break up, i think he became jealous of me too seeing that I have many good friends in life (some of them males) whom I could trust and was close to, only as a friend though, and I was always jovial and had a light attitude towards life, whereas on the other hand he was an introvert and could not share any feeling with anyone, didn't have any close friends, only I was his such close friend with whom he could share and actually he did share everything.

  • I have had this episode of leaving with my husband a thousand times, that's why it has lost its effect, will have to think of a different approach now.

  • Patak, I think you and your friend both just wanted someone you could talk to and complain about your problems with your partner and life. Someone who would listen to you.

    Your husband doesn't believe you would leave him for good.

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