Leo scorpio relationships are too stressful...or maybe its scorpios fault
okay...long story short my scorpio cheated on me three times during our relationship. towards the beginning of a 3 year relationship with his EX..(watch out for those bitches)...but when i found out recently i was devastated. he cried because he was so sorry...told me he wanted to marry me and that he was just insecure at the time and horny and she was calling him.
i then get pregnant in the middle of all of this (can someone say make up sexxxx?). he wants to have the baby with me but i just cant do it. there is no trust..nor money. and i was just accepted to an ivy league college.....im freaking out and finally make the decision to abort. hardest decision of my life.
we were on and off for months. while we were off...he would fuck random girls..saying he was miserable when he woke up the next morning thinking hed never see me again. calling me saying he misses me.
now we are finally OFF becuase of so much pain hes caused me. i miss him terribly..not the part of him that hurt me ....the part that had so much fun with me and loved me.
he admits that when he goes to bars and drinks and has sex with random women hes not happy, hes self destructing and numbing himself.
well i recently signed onto his email account becasue i havent heard from him in a while and there was a beautiful poem to me.....it said he chooses me and only me, come back to him, my beauty is felt from across the world (he was out of town), he cannot leave me, my soul is attached to him through all seasons ect ect.
this was touching to me because he seemed so over everything that i didnt know these feelings were still here. i have moved away for school though now.
well it was a drafted email. he never sent it. he called me saying he missed me but i kept it short and said i have to go.
and then instead of sending that special email he sends me an email saying "you have medical bills coming to my house still, please change your address." (i used to live with him for 6 months)
what the heck? talk about ego issues.
also..now hes out partying at the bars with his friends he says are dirty and "sick", drinking and picking up random girls. i know hes not happy..
is there much to do but move on? hes obviously immature and not able to communicate.
he really loved me in his own messed up way.
should i call him..or even be friends with him?
i loved this boy with all of my heart.
can someone say make up sexxxx? no.
is there much to do but move on? yes, certainly.
should i call him: yes
or even be friends with him? no.
The quality of mad love is needed, then you are spiritual. Love is not a head trip; it is a heart-to-heart dialogue, and ultimately a being-to-being dialogue.
im confused. call him. but dont be friends with him?
dont be friends with him? no.
If you can feel, `I am anger,' a subtle process of
transformation sets in immediately. What happens when
you say, `I am anger'? Many things happen. First: when
you say, `I am angry,' you are different from the
energy you call anger. This is not true, and from an
untrue base nothing true can happen. This is not true
-- this anger is you; this is your energy. It is not
something separate from you.
i dont understand you
it is not preference, it is unnatural.
Uh - you have been accepted to an ivy league school - you are smart - you chose well. . You are on the path to ascension. He has barely begun to climb the fence. It is your time to fly and not to turn back. You may always care for this person but there will be others before you settle. This is not a time to dwell. It is the beginning of a whole new life. I know - I once moved far away and went to an ivy league school while the boyfriend I had in high school waited a year to go to college. In the meantime, he picked up someone else. I missed many opportunities at fun and friendship while I pined. Hindsight is always 20:20. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Here - I will give you a gift - I release you from this burden. Now go find yourself a scholarly dude.
thank you turtle dust, i love you!
what is? you are alone.
The moment a thought arises, a wave
has arisen in the lake of consciousness, a form has
arisen, and the form is only temporal, momentary. Soon
it will disappear; it is not going to abide, it is not
eternal. Don't cling to it. Watch it come in and watch
it go out. Watch it arising and watch it disappearing,
but don't cling to it. Remember consciousness, in which
it arises and in which it dissolves again. That is your
reality, that is your truth. The thought can be good,
the thought can be bad, but good or bad it makes no
difference. A thought is a thought; it is not eternal
-- and that is the only criterion of reality.
Dear braveheart Leo,
Of course he is in your heart, your signs both represent steadfast loyalties . Also you conceived a child with him, so the bond is deeper. I see how his destruction to the relationship brought in ur heart a betrayal that you could not invest or give to anymore. You will both have love, and it will be there for a long time, cause it was a first love as well. These things create ties so deep, that you will need time for a huge healing. Now life is so ordinary. But you chose the right way, the real waylife is. Peace did not lie in there. Leo faces truth faster, leo is the honest one. You had to chose you in the end, or your heart would have split in two. Leo will alwYs chose theirselves it's inate in them. And it is good! I am a scorpio going out w Leo, a great Leo , after leaving a bad Leo. But even tho I moved on, I still feel the other leo's love for me, but the good one I'm seeing helped me to see how worth I am to chose the good. Try another good Scorpio, when ur ready. Don't give up, great men w/o drama are just waiting to be discovered. This last one u left has the self destruction on, and he was taking u down with him. How can u save him w/o going to the he'll fire and burnng in it for him? He must go it alone now. He slept w ex. Now ur the ex he will sleep with behind the new one's back. (for indeed their will be a new one) and he may love you more while you are both pregnant at the same time? God forbid, the high price for him will always be that he lost you. Evenif he commits suicide over you leaving(god forbid) he can not blame you, and he has to pay his own price. You will heal and find good , but you are the best and only chance he had at having it. And that will make you sad too. To know that he is lost, and no one will know if he has the bearings to come back and to have learned. Good to not deny that you love him, but better to know you love yourself more. For it is better to be angry at who he is than to be loved for who he is not.
"he really loved me in his own messed up way.
should i call him..or even be friends with him?
i loved this boy with all of my heart."
I am sure he loved/loves you in his own messed up way too but is that enough for you or are you worth much more than that?
Finding true love is like choosing the Holy Grail from great array of vessels - you either get it right or you choose wrong. But if you choose wrong and do not choose to carry the cup with you, you will not be blown away into ashes like in the movie). Choosing "well" can also mean
choosing to leave behind that which is not good or that which you are not meant to take with you. You have chosen well. You are now on the right path.
Now - like I said - go find yourself a scholarly dude.