Left for the ex -wife



  • I have been in a relationship with a man for a long time, 9 years. He suddenly tells me that his ex-wife wants him back and he was considering. They have been apart for over fifteen years and were only married for three years. This hurts very badly as this is a man that i really trusted with mY heart. I told him to make up his mind and he choose to go back with the ex, but till wants to be friends. i told him no way. but its killing me . i need your help.



  • Nine years is a long time to have spent with someone and not seen this coming. Did you even know he was talking with his ex. There is no such thing as being friends when your heart is breaking. Sometimes if a break-up is mutual, you can find freindship, but when somebody floors you with news like this, it's very difficult to see him as your "friend", besides with friends like that, who needs enemy's. This man betrayed you in one of the worst ways possible. You told him to make-up his mind, I would tell him, I've made it for you, get out! and don't come back!



  • I'm gobsmacked!!! And speechless!!! (a first for me!!) No way would I stay friends either. You're gonna be hurt,its understandable....."Myviewpoint" has already said it all and I agree with her,however I do think it is possible not to see this coming - maybe a feeling that something isn't quite right but I can well believe that you didn't expect him to go back with his ex-wife! What a shock! My advice is to have a good cry, a good scream or yell to get out the anger and your heart will mend over time ...believe me the hurt does ease. Best wishes



  • Well we all know the grass is hardly ever greener. Boy what was he thinking? We know...... wrong head.lol



  • I understand you may be too weak to break it off with him, but if you stay in this relationship you will surely be suffering and always the looser. He will not give up on you either, but you will never get the complete love that you desire. The best way to forget a man is to meet another. It is the quickest way to forget him and feel less pain. Why don't you take a vacation far away and meet someone new with no expectations except having fun.. It will raise your self-esteem and reduce your pain.

    Wish you all the best. I hope this will be your lesson: long disease sure death. Why did you stay in this relationship for so long already?



  • I surely don't reccomend you go "meet another" man-how absurd! When your wounded like this it would be to easy to cling to someone else instead of focusing on healing your heart and your spirit. If you "happen" to meet someone by chance-great. But don't go looking for it. It's also absurd to reccomend that meeting another man is pertinent to raising your self esteem-NO it isn't! I imagine your feeling quite lost right now-you need to find yourself, not let someone else do it for you-crazy talk. You want to be with someone because you want to NOT because you NEED them. You'll be setting yourself up for failure if you get into a relationship like that. Like mrchick said-cry, scream, burn pictures but please let him go-he's expecting you to hang around as his back up-DO NOT be a fool twice! It will hurt for awhile -but not forever 🙂



  • What do you thnk that means when they say they want to remain friends? The same thing is kind of happening to me right now too. I feel if they really loved us, they couldn't remain friends. It hurts too much. I don't understand the whole being friends thing. I think there is another motive behind that. Maybe Seaknight is right. They are thinking if it doesn't work out with the other if we remain friends, we can become their back-up. Do you think that's what they are thinking?



  • Sometimes people want their cake and eat it too. They don't want to be alone so anyone to fall back on till the next possiblity shows up. Don't play second fiddle.


Log in to reply