Why Am I Cursed??



  • I feel I am cursed and it is stressing me out. The mother of my daughter continually runs me down and it seems like I have a black cloud that is dragging me down. Is there anything that I can do to stop this?

    Thank you,

    Charlie



  • Have you tried standing up to her? Bullies tend to crumble when faced down.



  • As a man think'eth so is he, don't claim that over your life, proclaim that you are blessed and that no weapon that forms against you shall prosper. Out our mouth comes blessings and curses, speak good things into your life, the Universe is listening. 🙂



  • I'm with TheCaptain, stand up for yourself, you are more deserving than this. It can't be good for your relationshp with your daughter. I have a weak father who let my stepmother badmouth him and bully him and I have never really forgiven him for not standing up for himself (and hence us) more.

    x S



  • I have been standing up too her but the worst part is if I speak my mind, the more aggressive she gets. I just feel like the more I stand up for myself the worse she gets and even more negative she gets. What hurts the most is she claim she wants me to go kill myself because I wont give up my rights to my daughter! She also stated that her new man is my daughters father and I am just a burden! No matter what I do or tell her, she still comes back worse! She also stated my daughter calls her new man Daddy which I think is disrespectful to me and not good for my daughter to be calling some other guy daddy when I am her dad... It gets to the point where it is not good on my mental state because I have tried and tried to be the good guy, I did have an altercation where I put the mother of my daughter in her place and then she got even worse! I dont know what to do other then having to get even more aggressive with her which can cause other issues like me losing my rights to my daughter!

    Charlie



  • Are you paying child support? Does she think you're paying enough?

    How did you put her in her place? Did you get physical with her?

    If she is trying to undermine the relationship between you and your daughter...take her to court.



  • Manifestdreams,

    I am paying my CS $ 666 a month right out of my paycheck.. She wants more which court ordered what I am paying now. When I put her in her place, I just got verbal with her about quit saying the negative things, stop trying to get me to give up my rights. Then she flipped out and was screaming at me, I just said Grow Up and left it at that!

    I just feel right at the moment that I feel like I am cursed because I try to think positive and it is causing me to slip into a depression. I dont like hearing from someone telling me to go kill myself because I am a burden to them over the fact that I will not give her what she wants. She wants me out of my daughters life and is trying everything to destroy that. When will she just realize that we are through, grow up and at least be friends for our daughters sake? Otherwise I dont know what else I can do when she has multiple personalities...

    Charlie



  • It's not enough to stand up to her once - you must be consistent or she will know she can beat you down. Just calmly and quietly refuse to give in to her and keep demanding your rights to your child. If you have right (and the courts) on your side, then there is nothing she can do. She sounds very unstable and a bad influence for your daughter - I would have a tape recorder handy to record her next time she rants and raves about how you should kill yourself. It may be best if you can prove you are a more stable influence for your daughter. Whatever you do, make it proactive and tangible. Just sitting around moaning about your troubles will not get you anywhere.



  • Thank you TheCaptain, I am going to get a Digital Voice Recorder for this. I just hope I can get by with out having to deal with all the negativity. Now I hope I can meet someone that way, I dont have to worry about dealing with her negativity. I guess it is just a waiting game because in order I need to pay off my attorney and I have a ton of evidence against her including text messages that she states that she has multiple personalities. Which is scary for my daughter to be around that. I know everyone deals with issues of negativity but it seems ever since August of last year I have had quite a bit. I just hope some positivity comes around for me soon, this is just mind boggling with everything I have had to deal with for over a year now.

    Charlie



  • Stay strong Charlie. Your daughter needs you. It's ridiculous that your ex is trying to cut you out of your daughter's life. As long as you aren't endangering your daughter in anyway, she has no right to do that.



  • You must generate your own positivity from knowing you are doing the right thing for yourself and your daughter. Be strong!



  • Charlie document everything & take her to court. What she is doing is called "Parent Alienation"

    If you search the web you will find plenty of documentation on it. If she does not stop In the end your daughter will come to resent her. My younget will not even speak to his father & my daughter only talks to her father on rare occasion. It is going to be long rough road but you can come thru it Good luck



  • Well thanks for the comments everyone. Well I had a long discussion with my ex via text messaging last night and I had told her why I backed away from when I decided it was not worth trying to work things out because I wanted her to grow up. After pouring out my heart to her all I got was negative responses and I had responded by thanking her for it is good closure and I am not going out of my daughters life but now I am a bit depressed because I told her how I felt and all I got was nothing. I guess it is a good thing for me to be in a black depression as I am in now, I am trying to be strong but I just know I am cursed for everything in my life is just seems like a big black cloud. I don't know what to do anymore, I just wish I could cut off all emotions as that would be the best for me all together....

    Thanks Again,

    Charlie



  • First of all, you are not "cursed", you have some crummy issues going on in your personal life, but cursed, you are not. But you continue manifesting it and you WILL fulfill your own prophesy.

    Your daughter needs to know that she has one parent at least that she can rely upon as a stable influence in her life, and since your wife appears to have some serious problems, you have to get yourself together for your child. It may just be a good idea to look into gaining custody of your child from her mother, or at least finding a way to have the court order her to cease and desist the verbal abuse and undermining of your relationship with your daughter. Money is a concern, but your child's development as a stable adult is more important at this time.

    I will keep you in prayer and good luck.

    sunshine



  • Thanks Sunshine7959,

    I am trying to get a way to get full custody because you are right she is unstable, everyone including the Judges in the different court rooms knows she has no credibility! I have been trying to think positive through everything and the worst part is why do I still have feelings for this person is unknown to me, as I did not deserve the negative vulgar comments from her, I did not deserve the infidelity and the lack of truthfulness from her when we were together. I did not need my family parents and sister pulled into the whole legal battle we did December 09 and January 2010... All I know is me being a Cancer and she is 6 years younger then I am being a Virgo = no matter what anyone says, is not a good combo together in my opinion.. So thanks everyone..

    Charlie



  • Everybody can associate with having at least one toxic relative in their lives. There is nothing supernatural/cursed about it, it's just the nature of life. Some would see it as a karmic lesson, others would say you attract this kind of personality into your life because it somehow resonates with your childhood experiences. Whatever the reason- it can teach you something valuable about your ability to handle the bullies. The most important thing is to learn how to preserve your peace of mind, while being there for your daughter. One of the technics you can use is to downgrade your ex's importance. Next time she yells at you, try to visualize her with a head of a cute little puppy, barking at you. But do record her barking for the future use in court. 🙂 Don't argue with her - just stay calm and don't hide the fact that you are recording. And remember - people only have power over you if you handle it to them.



  • Dmnail, you are just feeling sorry for yourself because you were treated badly by your ex. So what? You chose to be with her so accept some of the responsiblity or you will develop vicimt consciousness which will stop you from moving forwards. You will have other people in your life that will treat you well. Instead of dwelling on what you don't have - count your blessings, like your daughter. The relationship with your ex may have failed but you produced a beautiful child. You also got out of a toxic relationship. So I see you as a very lucky person. Be grateful for the good things in your life - whether you are happy or miserable depends on where you put your focus. Step out of your viewpoint and look at how other people are living - you could be much much worse off.



  • Hey TheCaptain,

    I think the biggest problem is that I still have feelings for her and I am looking at it logically instead of emotionally. I was feeling bad but not anymore, I am actually happier, I guess it was just going through the motions that I felt bad because in a sense I let my daughter down for not being with her mother. Yes I do accept responsibility for being in that relationship I should have not stayed in it for as long as I did but it all came down to it, I love her which is why I did not break it off years ago. I have gorgeous baby girl, I am happy out of all the crap I put up and went through with her mother, that she is my reason for living. Sure I could be much worse off compared to other people, for example I could have married the mother of my daughter and then I would worry whether or not who she would have been seeing when I am at work.. Which is not healthy for anyone to be in that situation.

    My guess is that I actually thought she was the ' One ' at one point because we have an amazing connection, however, with her insecurities along with my insecurities it was a toxic relationship. My guess is that I do miss her in some aspects because when we were going good, I was the happiest man ever, but when the times were the opposite, it was a complete utter nightmare.. I think my biggest issue is the fact that I kept thinking what if she would have actually grown up and changed. Then in that same breath, I was thinking we would have been a family, however, I got depressed about the issues that I feel I failed at the whole relationship because I should have fought harder to keep it going. I gave up over the fact that I did not deserve everything that she did to me i.e. being called horrible names, being cheated on, had the cops called on me for lies she stated, being labled really bad names, craigslist postings listing my name, place of employment and car I drove as well as placing my picture on other random websites to continually run me down, but I am not innocent on what I said, I called her vulgar names when we fought which was childish before my daughter was borned. I don't think anyone in their right mind would have put up with all of this from someone that does have multiple personalities it was like walking on egg shells dealing with her on a daily basis. I started feeling better this afternoon once I cleared my head up and got rid of the what ifs because I realized logically I cannot make her change or grow up only she has to do that if she wants to and I do not think she wants to.. I thought by distancing myself from her when we were trying to work things out she would have seen what she was doing wrong vulgar name calling from her while I was using the kill her with kindness because of my daughter and yet she got worse and started doing the parental alienation that was mentioned here.

    Now TheCaptain,

    I know you have some psychic abilities, would you be kind to run a reading on what you could see happening in my future? If you need my b-date it is 06-25-1979.

    Thank you again,

    Charlie



  • Charlie,

    Rather than feeling cursed, you should feel blessed to be out of such a toxic relationship. You cannot force someone else to grow up, however, you can grow up yourself. I'm glad you are starting to think logically. You may want to consider some therapy or counseling; your insecurities and depression will just be passed on to your child. You need to get strong and learn from your mistakes so you don't end up in another toxic relationship, and so your daughter has at least one emotionally sound parent.

    I hope The Captain sees something good in your future, but it all will depend on how you react to the present.

    Good Luck,

    I know you can do it!



  • Thank you Manifestdreams,

    I am not depressed anymore and I am not letting anything get me down. I am thinking more on the line of being positive because I dont want my daughter to feel that depression at all. I know I cannot force someone else to grow up which is why I am out of that relationship though. The insecurities I had was mainly from the relationship with my ex for the fact that I never had them before until she cheated on me and I know not all women are like that. I have learned from this experience and I now know what I will not tolerate.. It took a while for me to learn this but now I am glad that I have went through this. I am positive that I have grown from this experience, and I will not go down that road again...

    Thank you again,

    Charlie


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