PLEASE HELP! Is my cancer man not interested anymore??



  • Solarity, THANK YOU ! Every single word you said, is the absolute truth ! You are spot on, I can tell you that ! I was doing soooo good until I saw him. It brought all them emotions right back to the surface again. That was the first time in weeks that I have seen him after all was said and done. Im glad it happened the way it did, and he did not see me, because it made me very vulnerable, and "if" and when I see him, I want him to see a strong person, not a weak one. So had he seen me at that very moment, he would have seen a weak gal. Which is so not the type of person I am. I had my few days to ponder on that, Im getting past that, and making myself strong again. Now, I will be "that" much stronger, if I do see him, which is exactley the way it should be, because I am gonna walk right past him, maybe say hi, maybe say excuse me (if have to walk around him) but overall, he is gonna know at that moment I can live with out him, and I don't need or want him in my life either. Which is what he deserves ! No wonder he is 50 years old, and divorced for 22 of those years, because he is a serial dater! You were also right about me not wanting him back. I knew something changed the day he came back, I could feel it., and that right there was enough for me to know things were not or will not be the same. I can't go back to someone on that kind of a feeling. It just doesn't work, for me anyway. I just wanted to understand what happened and why. But you are right, I will never know. I do know this, Im glad it happened now and not months or years down the road 🙂 Thank you sooo sooo much for all your support !! You are a very special person and deserve the best !

    So, im curious about how your weekend with your gal pals went?? lol Sounds like you had a great time and got to make a mense with everything. Which is awesome. One door closed, and another opened 🙂 Looking forward to hearing about it.

    Kaplow...it was good to hear from you too 🙂 How are you doing ?

    Gypsydreams & MsSunny: If everything you both read in here, bothers you so bad, why do you keep reading it ?? just curious !



  • " I would ask why it irks you so. Is it really because you find that the behaviors of these women are so weak and blind"

    Yes that is it. And I wont apologize for it. This is a public forum whatever you put up it will have input from all ,some to your liking and some not to your liking. That is the way public forums work.

    I guess I never understood turning into a martyr/self torturing spirit, for gaining closure over relationships that for most haven't even lasted all but a few months. Specially when closure has been given in such obvious ways for most in this thread. Maybe some didn't hear the words "I am just not into you" it's over" " It was only a one night stand" but by the person ignoring you, not calling you, or treating you like a dish rag I would assume that is all the closure one needs.

    It's specially sad when women who do this have daughters because the child learns from the mother and continues this type of behavior in their own relationships.

    But like you said, we all learn in our own time. Good luck to you all. 🙂



  • well said gypsydreams... I could not have said it any better.

    adios!



  • Hey Yall !!!

    First off I do not like the attacking I see going on in this forum ! This is supposed to be a place where people come for advice, positive support and sometimes tough love.

    @Monte12- I think you were justified & handled yourself quite well! Solarity put the icing on the cake !!!

    Over the weekend I had to drop off some items at my Cancer man's mom's house. Just like you I was doing really, really good. I have been totally into school and planning my birthday party. Well when I got there my only intentions were to drop off the items( The time is 10:15pm ) She had me help her rearrange her furnature and help her unload her car ( Which I did not mind ) I had to take some items upstairs ( This is the first time I have been upstairs in her house) She had me put the stuff in his old room. I don't know why but while I was in there I started to get a little sad ( Thinking about the whole situation ) I came back down the steps and saw a picture of all of us when we when on our first cruise we had to be between 10-12 years old ( The cruise was for my family reunion its about 50 people on the pic ) We were the youngest kids in our group. His mom caught me staring at the pic. She said that we ( The kids ) Had so much fun & that he always stops and looks at the pic when he's home . We con't downstairs and then she started pulling out more pictures!! By this time im thinking to myself " Please don't do that im gonna end up crying & telling her what happened" I held my composure though.. after looking at pictures and her talking about my birthday party ( She says she's gonna come ) I left ( The time was 12:15am ) Ever since that night ( Sunday ) He has been on my mind 24/7 , even during class ! I miss him soooo ( The little bit we did have ) I can't believe he still hasn't tried to communicate with me. I was even gonna break down and call last night ( But I did'nt ) Monday morning his mom sent out emails with stories & pictures of him being in the local paper on his school campus. So yall know he has been that talk of the town for the last couple of days. Im really trying to keep it together girls ....



  • I don't see any martyrdom going on, but maybe that's because I can relate to Monte, having felt both the strong and weak feelings after a break-up...it's normal to doubt and feel the occasional moments of insecurity/weakness sneak in when you feel rejected. It's important not to dwell in those moments, I agree wholeheartedly, but I don't think she is. She's expressing them honestly so that she can learn from them and move on, at least that's how it seems to me. I don't see how that's unhealthy, but that's just my opinion. We can't all turn into immortal, uncaring b*tches just because we let ourselves get hurt by a guy (or not, by flipping the script, so to speak), regardless of the time spent together and how it ended.

    One thing that's helped me is realizing that not every guy has to like me that I like(d), and I don't have to like every guy - usually, as you get to know each other, you get to see their flaws and those heady feelings turn more realistic, BUT when things get cut short in the heady stage we (as women) tend to romanticize the person and mix that up with our feelings of rejection...and that's where those moments turn against us and weaken our self-image. It's unhealthy to live in those ideals about that person, because they are NOT who that person was..but who we wanted them to be. And making yourself into someone who wants to be liked by your ideal/insecurity IS counter-productive - you're working against your imagination, and you're working against yourself. THAT isn't healthy. I understand both sides because I've had to learn my lessons by living through such situations. Now I know better, but I can still sympathize because I remember that inner struggle. Once you let go of the ideal and realize that the other person was a human who has his flaws too, you'll quickly realize the guy for who he probably was - a player, or a jerk, or a scared boy, or a selfish prick, or all of the above - and really, who wants that in their life?! And then you can be happy you're not with such a person, because you're worth much more than that. Now, I'm thankful for the break-up.

    Really, it's common sense stuff, but when you're involved in it on an emotional level it's not always so easy to see what's in front of you. Rising above it seems so easy when it's not you, that's all I'm saying. Anyone can peep in on someone else's life and say they would have done this or that different, but it's not up to you. I didn't mean to come off so abrupt, but it bothers me when that circle of trust gets poked at just for the sake of poking (public forum or not).

    Monte, I know exactly how you felt being faced with him that first time, and I know had it been me I probably would have reacted the same way AND then I would be kicking myself for having allowed him to win in that moment of shock. But I'd also be damned if I let him win the next time. And that's what it sounds like for you. I wear my emotions on my sleeve sometimes (I try not to, but it does occasionally happen), so I wouldn't have wanted him to have seen my surprise...but next time I won't be surprised, and now that I know better I know how to react. I'm not saying you and I are the same, but I can relate to why you did what you did. And I give you kudos for the next time you see him, because I'm sure that was his only "win".



  • WELL SAID SOLARITY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  • As for my trip to Chicago, it was wonderful! I mostly hung out with my circle of girlfriends and guy friends - one whom came out of the closet and admitted he was gay (he had told me he was bi, but always thought of him as more gay than bi, so this was no surprise for me). It was funny how he told me though, because he had tried rationalizing being with me romantically as a couple to himself prior to admitting to himself that he preferred men - to which I said no, no, no I already knew you were gay, my dear. I would not have chosen to be more than the friends we are. And once that was understood it was all friendly love, and lots of it all weekend. That's how my friends are there - we are all very affectionate with one another, and I had never really paid attention to it until this weekend. I did not grow up in a physically affectionate family, so I never considered myself to be a physically affectionate person - for a long time it made me uncomfortable and I avoided intimacy - but over the years have come to realize I AM, and I do enjoy being able to express myself affectionately WITHOUT the misunderstanding that my affections mean more than friendship.

    Don't get me wrong, when I like a guy that affection turns more flirtatious, but there is definitely a line drawn between the two. There was one little hiccup, but I straightened that out with that guy friend. And everything is smoothed out between my two girl friends and I, which was really wonderful because I really missed their friendships and vice versa. All in all, a great weekend with some enlightening talks and sharing of varying perspectives and life lessons. Isn't that what friends are for?! : )

    Last night I saw a movie (The Social Network) with my cancer guy friend, and at the end we hugged our good-bye's, and he told me to text him "or something" over the next few days - I think he felt awkward that there was no kissing in our good-bye, and felt he had to fill in the gap...I put off no romantically-interested vibe, and kept it simple and friendly. I don't want any confusion about my intentions - I had told him I wanted to be friends a couple weeks ago, because I didn't want to date someone who was unsure of their feelings for me. Life is too short to be wasting time in a gray area of feelings, especially after a couple months of dating. I get the "he's not into you" before the guy gets it usually. I sense when something is 'off', and I begin to pull away in self-defense. If it continues I address it, which is what I did with him. And when he was honest about his wishy-washy feelings I told him thank you for his honesty, but that's not the sort of relationship I want, so let's be friends. Sorry if I'm repeating myself.

    Then I get to work this morning and find out that he's telling the guys he works with (we work in two different locations, and I occasionally go out to his so I know these guys also) that we're still dating, hanging out, etc. My co-worker (who is also dating a cancer, whom is my cancer's boss at the boat) defended me to her guy and explained that no, that's NOT the situation, "she (I) had told him they (we) were just friends"...I thought it humorous. Mis-information always finds its way back. I don't know if he's just keeping up a front for his co-workers, or if he is truly confused about what's going on between us. I had come to the conclusion that he probably had never thought we WERE dating, but maybe I was wrong. Or maybe I was right. All I know is that I know what I want, and I don't believe he is in the right place within himself to be able to provide that, or wants to, either, at the present time. Cancer men need to feel good about their career and finance, and he doesn't. And I'm no fool. But more so, it explains his awkward moment last night, and I suppose we will have to have another talk about our friendship status. (sigh) I could use a guy's perspective...or any insight, really, on what to say next. I thought I was clear enough.

    Kaplow, I can understand the pain you're going through with your cancer friend, because at the end of the day you two had a long (and only recently complicated) friendship, and your families are very close. Maybe you can reach out to him as friends? Perhaps send him a simple text saying that his mom was going through old photos of you two as kids and it made you think of him and all the fun you had as friends, and were just wondering how he's doing, and tell him that his mom is real proud of him and maybe throw in a joke of "you know how she is, always bragging about you" or something to lighten the mood. There's no pressure in that, I don't think. I think he needs to feel it's safe to be friends first. I think he's terrified of messing up the friendship with ideas of romance just yet. Kid gloves for a kid at heart (and ego). I'm also glad to hear you're doing so well with school and work and busying yourself. Keep it up - we're here for you! : )



  • seriously. G a y is the *** above. silly editing program. : /



  • Monte12,

    Its very important you remember the hurt does not go away over night.

    Emotions are raw, it takes time.

    I thought I was doing really good until I saw my guy's pick up truck outside our church tonight, he NEVER attends Wednesday night services and he was there tonight. I had dropped my daughter of at classes and usually I attend the dinner then the service and my gut was telling me to get stuff done at home, so i did not go to tonight, and sure enough he shows up! After dropping my daughter off, I burst into tears, I was very emotional. So no matter how great I was doing in the healing department, I obviously still have bottled up emotion.........HURT/ANGER, I don't care if anyone thinks I am stupid, I am who I am, I am a human being!!

    Just wanted you know,your not alone, we are going to need time.....................



  • Hello All .... I hope everything is well !

    My day was going fine until I got a call from one of my girlfriends. She said she's having a game night at her house tomm . I told her that it sounded like fun and asked her what time did it start etc... She then says that she was calling to see if I would'nt mind being the desinated babysitter for the night. I asked her why can't I come ? She says " well it's a COUPLES game night & since you and ( my cancer guy ) aren't on good terms she figured I wouldn't wanna come because I had no one to bring and she did not want me to feel like a 3rd wheel. She asked me did I call and apolgize yet to him ? I said no why ? She said the message was very rude and harsh and that she agrees with the way he's acting ( no communication )

    **** BY THE WAY SHE IS A CANCER ALSO *****

    Meaning that she would not speak to me either after sending a text message like that ! I told her that I feel justified in sending it to him, He hurt my feelings and I let him know that It wasn't cool. She said that a message like that would be grounds for a temination of a friendship or anything of that matter. She also said I should have thought twice before sending it .and it was very disrespectful ( By this time im crying on the phone ) she said that I should call him and beg for forgiveness! I said " So your condoning what he did was right ? She starts going on about how we would have been so good together but I messed everything up with the perfect catch ! I say that it doesnt matter because he wouldnt travel 3 hrs just to go to a board game party ( That's too much gas money for him ) She said that if we were cool that I would still be able to come because everyone knows that he's away at school. And that I need to stop waiting around for him to call cause after that message it ain't gonna happen.

    I know that I previously asked you guys Was I justified in sending the message. I feel as though I was! But now she has me second guessing myself . Ive been reading the message over and over trying to figure out did I say that right thing ? Was I too harsh ? Maybe I should have left the curse words out etc... I know deep down our friendship is stronger than this little riff . I was doing so good keeping myself busy until she called with that BS..... I feel like no one understands ( Except for you guys ) I need positive encouragment girls ... I have a big test in class tonight so im gonna study for that . Ill be back later ....

    Sorry for all the typos . I was crying while I was typing ! 😞



  • Kaplow, honestly, I think you should give her a taste of her own medicine. Stop talking to her for awhile. She did so many things wrong in this one conversation I don't even know where to start! First, it is all fine and dandy to call and ask for a good friend to babysit on a night you have other plans. It's a whole other thing to tell the friend you're ASKING to babysit why they aren't WELCOME at said plans! Not because it is private, but because you are single? SERIOUSLY?

    There are always many sides to conflict. You're just as right in being hurt and saying so to your cancer as he is for not talking to you. Both of you are sending a message to each other, just in different ways. Your girlfriend, from this conversation, but we don't know because we only know your take on it, sounds like more she was speaking her mind rather than trying to advise a good friend and speak out of concern for you--she'd rather chastise you and belittle you for not having a guy to bring to a couples' night than help you resolve the issue and reunite with him.

    YOU know the state of your relationship with your Cancer, she doesn't. Not nearly as well as you do anyway. If you feel that your relationship can survive it, it can. Relationships are a two-way thing. If it ain't over, it ain't over.

    Good luck on your test! Gah, I am in the middle midterms too 😞



  • @ tooralooryeaye- During the convo she kept saying that she been holding this in since the incident happened last month. She also says her like everyone else wants to see the two of us together but it's up to me ! Why is all the pressure on me ? Just like you say relationships are a two way thing. Iam so frustrated with this whole situtation. when I get out of class im gonna give him a call( I pray that he answers ) Im not gonna talk about the incident , im gonna ask him how he's been etc.....Wish me luck , I hope he answers ... Thanks for the luck on my test ! Good luck to you on your midterms !!



  • Kaplow: did you call him? How did it go?

    P.S. I agree with Tooraloo, your friend deserves the silent treatment for a while. It sounds like she has some jealousy issues...



  • Kaplow...she still should treat you with more respect. Granted if she is a close friend, there's usually more space for that kind of confrontation but if she truly wanted to see you together, why would she lash out and pretty much guilt-trip you into a situation? Or make you feel even worse about things you can't undo? My point is that there's a much better way for her to say her say rather than explode it on you after committing a major social faux pas. Intentions aside, it still does not excuse the initial conversation re: babysitting. That is just plain rude, period. Regardless of whom you're asking.

    Of course, we only know so much, a tiny sliver of the whole situation all the same.



  • Hi Everyone !!

    How's it going ? My girlfriend apologized to me. She said that she was frustrated because everyone else was saying that I messed up big time with him. She also said she really wants to see us together but if he can't get it together than move on. I agree that's still no excuse for being rude and inconsiderate to me . You see it's like I told yall for the last couple of months he has been the talk of the town( Thanks to his mom emailing info about him everyday to everyone ) No one knows about what happened between us but her ( The girlfriend ) , so people still think we are atleast on speaking terms. I get asked about him EVERYDAY. When people ask I always say " He's doing really well etc.. I never talk bad about him. It's so hard ...I wish he would talk to me . Sunday was my birthday . I had a great time . This sat is my birthday party. I had to send out a new evite because the venue has changed. He has looked at the invite 3 times already lol . His mom called me ( Im shocked she remembered ) for my birthday . She sang me a song . It was really nice !

    @Solarity - No I chickened out and did not call . I don't know if I can handle him not answering the phone ! What should I do ?



  • Kaplow: First of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)... I am just catching up on here, I have been keeping busy 🙂 Im glad to hear that your friend apologized. She was way out of line to say that stuff to you. As far as your cancer friend, I think you should not listen to what everyone else "thinks you should do" or "how they think things should be". You need to do what your gut tells you to do. If you feel you should call him, then I would call. But if you really don't "feel" you should, then I wouldn't. Im "assuming" that he knows your birthday was a couple days ago ??...and with that being said, it's pretty childish of him not to at least text you or contact you in some way telling you happy birthday. Especially for how long you both have known each other. Afterall, our birthdays are supposed to be our special day. It is good that you do not talk about him to people and let them think nothings really changed between the two of you. The less you say, the better off you will be it seems, with everyone having to give their input, that would only cause more confusion and problems 🙂 But as far as contacting him, I think you have pretty much answered that one on your own, with your hesitation 🙂



  • Happy birthday, Kaplow! 🙂 I agree with Monte! You will feel it's the right time when you DO...there's no reason to rush it if you don't feel ready yet.



  • Wow. reading this thread is given me so much insights on my cancer man. I'm a 26 year old Aries girl and have been in a relationship with a 32 year old Cancer man for about 5-6 months now. We met back in May and started going exclusive in June. First couple of months things were great, he told me he wanted to marry me and have children with me. He wanted to bring me out of town to meet his family. I told him to slow down and wanted to date a bit before making this commitment. He agreed then that dating for a year or so is not unreasonable. Sine then he started with drawing. We went from seeing each other 3-4 times a week down to 2-3.. In September he mentioned that he want to be able to meet and talk to other girls. Since I have a lot of male friends, I figure it's only fair that he can be friend with girls. Little did I know that he was telling people that he is still looking for a life long mate. When I found this out, I asked him...and he said that he has this weird feeling inside of him and he doesn't know why it's there because he can see a future with me and love and want to be with me, but yet this feeling inside is telling him that he should meet other girls. He later decided that he wants me and wants to work on us. Things has been great we see each other 2-3 times a week... until this past couple of weeks where he said he's super stressed and doesn't have the energy to get together. we managed to see each other last Sunday and everything was great. Then during the week, he told me that he tried but this feeling of wanting to meet other girls is still there. but he also told me to relax and not to blow it out of proportion and that he is not seeing anyone else and that he loves me a lot. I wanted to get together face to face to discuss and again he tells me that we should talk on the weekend since he is extremely tired.

    The weekend's arrived and i wrote him an e-mail telling him that i'm there if he needs me and that we should communicate and work on lowering his stress as a team. and to share with me what is troubling him. but he just shuts off even more. Even told me to forget him for a while as he needs space. He finally read my e-mail today and said that he agrees with everything I say, but right now he just want to be left alone. he said that its pretty selfish of him since i am involved in his life and it hurts me when he's pushing me away, but he feels disconnected from who he is because of having lots of stress from work. He said he doesn't have any spare energy bits to be with someone properly and take care of that person the way he should. He asked that i please stop sending him any kind of messages to try to understand and help. its just making things worse when I put pressure on him. He said that right now he just want to disconnect from everything and rest and that he's sorry for any pain he's causing.

    No where in there do I feel like he is breaking up with me and when we're together things are great. I see him with great potential to be a great father and great husband. It's extremely confusing when he is moody, depressed and have self doubt. How long should I wait for him to come back out of hiding?

    His DOB July 17, 1978

    My DOB April 14, 1984

    You guys seems to have very well knowledge about Cancer man. Can you throw in your two cent on this one?

    Thanks a lot!



  • I stumbled upon this forum and I couldn't be more thankful I did! I have been in quite the dysfunctional "situation" with a cancer man for just shy of a year now. I consider myself a strong, knowledagable person but this is one situation that has taken my mind for a constant spin. When I met my Cancer, I was still emoationally broken from a pervious relationship and in noooo desire to put my guard down. When I finally gave him my number, he was the most persistant guy I probably had ever met. Texing my every day, every morning, uber dedicated and quite the "charmer" - He had been in a 6 year relationship and "madly in love' but was cheated on. It ended about 5 years ago but he was quick to mention this to me. Thankful for his honestly, but cautious why he would put something out there from day one when we are JUST starting to get to know each other. He said he wishes her well but he has moved on with his life (I question this). Long story short, at the beginning the only way I can descirbe my Cancer man would be AMAZING! We would spend hours on the phone nightly, I would get the most thoughtful texts, ridicuously charming and he made a huge effort to come see me etc. It's only natural that I started to really like him. I never had to question if he liked me. One thing that stands out is I asked him if he was looking for a relationship, he said he couldn't answer that because he didn't know. He didn't want to fill my head with ideas if there was no guarentees. Only time will tell. Respectable. I was the happiest I had been in a long time, but cautious. Then BOOM, just like that everything changed. I remember the day it happened. everything changed the moment I became vulnerable to him. Since that day, I have been in most vicious cycle of confusion. He kept me close enough so I would countinue to hold on but far enough away to keep me wondering. All of a sudden he became this mystery, and often a major contradition. He told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and that it's about a process of getting to know someone. The more I pushed and questioned him, the farther he would distance himself. He never showed emoation nor was he ever detailed about his feelings/view of me. He said he liked me but with a Cancer man, does that mean as a friend, as an interest, etc? I had no idea. I did not for the life of me understand. Most of my days I spent in a daze because I was so affected by this whole situation. It has taken such a toll on me emoationally, physically etc. I am an Aries so by nature I am the fire sign. Now for 9 months I have been in the same vicious cycle I have been since 7 months ago. I have tried to walk away NUMERIOUS times and he has even agreed it would be best, but he never lets me go. It's almost like a rubber band, the moment I stretch too far .. he snaps me back in. The fact of the matter is nothing ever changes. I've read up on his sign and he is a Cancer to a "T" - but here's the thing ... All us women are trying to make sense of situations that really don't make much sense. Looking every which way for answers to explain WHY things have changed and WHY our "cancer men" are acting in such odd ways. Here is something I have come up with and I can only hope it helps all of you out there who have been or are going through what I have spent 9 months of my life going through ... WHEN A MAN LIKES A WOMEN, A MAN LIKES A WOMEN! I don' t care what your sign is or what has happened in your past. I believe every situation is different but we should NEVER question how a man feels about us. It shouldn't even be an "I THINK" - it should be an "I KNOW" . It is not our problem what they are going through inside. After a week of not responding to my Cancers texts and messages he sent me a mile long text saying that he's use to people coming and going from his life. It's "the norm" - He played victim. The fact is, if he didn't want me to leave he wouldn't be putting me through such turmoil. Don't be a Cancer Man or any mans option. Know what you are worth, don't use his sign as justification for his actions. If you do this, you are ALLOWING him to treat you this way. I do not wish upon ANYONE to go through what I have been going through all this time. I have nothing to show for it but surfice words and memories. I don't want to live in the past, or what he HAS done but focus on how I feel now and if I'm getting the treatement I rightfully deserve. I love him, no question. I have put up with this shyt and have allowed for this treatment to continue. Everything is on his time, what he wants, when he wants it, pure selfishness. If a man does not recognize what he has and is not treating you how you want, let it burn. It's going to hurt, you are going to cry but in the end you are BETTER OFF! Don't be an option, don't be his "sometimes" girl, be his all or nothing ~ unless you are okay with the minipulation, wishy-washyness, uncertinity, and confusion......



  • Hi! I would lover it if you wise women could shed some light upon my situation. The man I'm interested in is a leo sun with cancer mars and honestly he reacts and behaves very very cancerIan. I understood a lot about him retreating, which dissipated my insecurites and I'm beyond thankful for that.

    We reconected and have been texting for 2 months after 12 years of not seeing each other.we knew each other when we were kids.The thing is, I expressed a need I would have in a relationship and he poured his soul to me the way he never did before. He has some exams right now so is pretty stressed and is recovering from a relationship and basically explained everything that is happening to him very raw and honestly. My reply was as long as his and I didn't get e reply back.

    I just want to understand if he is just taking time to let things sink in or was overwhelmed or disappointed. Basically I told him that everything he feels is valid and part of recovery.that the harder he pushes the stronger he becomes and the stronger he becomes at it the easier it is to push.

    Do you think this might have offended him?

    I also said that if during this time he finds himself wandering it's ok , that he should just get back on track and treat himself to some good stuff. I also said that the girl for him is somewhere in the future. He said he lacks motivation for exams and I said that even if you feel down you'll be so damn happy and I don't think it's worthy to put your talent and dreams under the risk of motivation, and maybe under the security of discipline?

    Do you think this might have made him feel less than a man?

    I added in the end that just because he needs something he doesn't have right now might be draining his energy but that doesn't have anything to do with his determination and that he should not be too hard onto himself that I believe he is a force and I hug him.

    I am a libra sun with both venus and mars in scorpio and just as for him to me everything runs deep. He mentioned these worries of his a couple of times so my intention was not to solve his problems or show how smart I am but to basically put him back on track while showing him that his feelings are valid and I'm here and I support him and he is awesome. I still haven't got a reply after 2 days.

    I would like to know how could he feel about every single thing I said. The fact that he poured his soul to me makes me think he trusts me more than I knew but after my reply, is he feeling warm and supported or overwhelmed and frustrated and never talk to this girl again who thinks she knows it all?

    Please help. Thanks


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