PLEASE HELP! Is my cancer man not interested anymore??



  • This is my first time at this, but here it goes: I am a scorpion girl, dating ( I think) a cancer man. We met through my work about 3 months ago, his company was called in at my place of buisness to do some work. From the first time we saw each other it was mysterious, warm, and electric. There was definately something there. However, we would smile at each other and say hi. He only came in to do work, about 1 or 2x a week for about 2 month. Then, the last time he came in to finish the job, he approached me at my desk and asked me out. I was shocked, but sooo excited. I gave him my #, he texted as soon as he left that day, (being about 7 weeks ago) and we went out the next day for drinks, and we hit it off bigtime, there was so much chemistry and things we had in common. From that point on he would text me good morning all the time, and sweet nothings. I was high on life :)...so, about 8 days ago, he left to go to Vegas for a Bachelor party for 4 nights...He came back a different person. He did text the whole time he was gone, and even called a couple x, but since he came back, he has been distant, still calling me, but not texting anymore, or even saying anything about seeing me ??? (Which by the way this weekend will be 2 weeks since i seen him last) It seems like he could be interested if he is still calling me ??? But he seems very distant...Someone please help ????? Im not sure we I stand at this point, and I dont know what to do. Oh, we dated I suppose for just over a month. Which was one of the best months in my life. He has introduced me to his kids, and mentioned me meeting his family-which was the last time I saw him ?? Can any one help ??? Is he not interested anymore or is he just being a cancerian ??



  • I think he likes you but this is what cancer men do. my cancerian does this all the time. they get moody one time they are all over you and the next they are just so distant. They call but would be cold and not all that excited as before.



  • Thank you for responding.. He was supposed to call me lastnight so we could talk, never heard from him. He not only quit texting me 4 days ago, but seems to be forgetting about me all together. Im at a loss ! Any suggestions on how i should proceed ? thanks again



  • its almost like once the relationship is ready to go to the next emotional level, they go in their shells, think about it, and come back out when theyre ready. u can send him a little text like "hey just thinking about u. have a good day!" just to let him know ur still there waiting for him to come back out and play lol. but its def a cancer thing. the back and forth. lord knows im goin thru it with mine STILL and its been a year. just relax and see what happens, then follow ur heart. he introduced you to his kids and mentioned u meeting his family? that a BIG thing to a cancer. its only been a month. girl...welcome to the cancer men roller coaster ride!



  • oh AND he texted u the whole time he was in vegas with his boys? and called? i dont know about u but i would think thats a sure sign that he really likes u. he's prob just scared to death that he likes u so much lol



  • Thank you for your input..it means the world to me. He did text me the whole time he was in vegas, which says something, however, the one time he called he started saying something about one of the waitresses at the casino, having such large breasts, AND kept saying that, and the guys were all going crazy over her, then he said "but i wasnt looking" ???? i actually kept my cool, and didnt say a negative thing, it hurt when he said that, THEN, when he came back this past sunday, he called me said he just got in, and we talked for a few, he was telling me all about vegas, then he went and said the unthinkable (in a womans mind)..that he was surprised none of the guys he was with wanted to go to a strip club, so again, im trying to remain calm, and said yeah, im surprised to, he said yeah, i really was surprised, and would have like to have gone ????????? what the h** is that ??? WHY would he say that to me? it almost seems like he was and is trying to push me away, so he wont feel guilty doing it himself?? and just 3 days before he left to go to vegas, he told me we had something strong??? im so confused! like did something happen there he feels guilty about ? or is he just not interested in me anymore ? do i text him ? or just leave him be ?? if anyone can help i up for advise...thank you



  • he was testing u for sure! he wanted to see how u would react. that do that often and it can get very aggravating. a secure woman wouldnt really bat an eyelash, afterall when i think of a man going to vegas and for a bachelor weekend of all things, i would pretty much bet a strip club would be involved. u handled it perfectly. u didnt flip out or show that it upset u, u played it cool. a cancer man needs a secure woman because they are so very insecure themselves. and then at the same time he could just be comfortable telling u things like that or just being honest and not having to hide anything because of the way u handled hearing it. the last thing u want is for him to start being slick and keeping secrets. that whole waitress thing was a little bit much though. a bit disrespectful. my cancer did something like that before. i was on the phone with him and he started talking about a girl walking down the street with a nice butt. i said ok. im gonna hang up now so i dont interrupt ur looking session. he got the point and cut it out. and they have NO sense of time! he prob feels like he just talked to u lol. send him a text if u want. then do nothing. see how it rides out. but keep the text light and easy.



  • Wow, you are good.. lol i did text him an hour ago and said just thinking about you, hope you are having a good day. he responded a little bit later... saying he is doing good..and how am i doing..and sorry that he has been out of it since vegas..but he is overwhelmed. too much to do and he knew i was going to feel slighted. OK, to me, he is very aware he is pushing me aside. I am so confused. I dont know how you deal with your cancer guy. It has to be VERY frustrating, unless they get better with time, and the more they get to know you. You seem to have a pretty good idea how to handle your man, and kudos to you, cause this one, is making me want to run like crazy! lol but on the other hand, i really have strong feelings for him and we have, had, ? whichever it is, such a wonderful connection, and chemistry. I just know if he is trying to be nice by texting me back ?or he is still interested and maybe needing space to figure out if im even what he wants anymore ? Whatever happened in Vegas with the boys, really changed him or did something to him. But, i did respond today saying im doing good and just wanted to let him know i was thinking of him...that was it...something is telling me there could be someone else in his picture.. what do you think ? You seem VERY smart when it comes to these cancerian guys...



  • I joined this forum about 4-5 months ago. even I have been a member of tarot dot com for years, just never participated in the forum until recently.

    to be frank, these boards are loaded with relationship issues with Cancer males. not so much female cancers, but male cancers. Scorpio is another sign people are having trouble relating to.

    only one other sign I see so much complaints on, are Virgo males.

    I wonder if Cancer men are to be avoided at all costs. anyone who plays games as much as a cancer male, is not going to find a long lasting relationship. I wonder why that is?

    are other signs easier to understand and relate to? the other signs are less complicated? I don't think so, but I could be reading the signs on these threads on cancer/scorpio/virgo men incorrectly.

    I have some ideas, but I would rather not reveal them right now...

    Sunny



  • MsSunny... Im starting to wonder the same thing, as far as Cancer men. After all i read about them, i just dont know what to think, especially when I am experiencing the same thing, in a round about way, as all the other posts. The games, manipulation, so on, and so forth. But, I would love to hear your other ideas, if you would reveal them ?? Good, bad or indifferent. And as far as Scorpio's, im a scorp, but i do not play the games, that guys seem to play. it takes alot for me to trust someone, and give them my heart, but once i do, im in it for keeps. I have heard scorpion guys are difficult to deal with. and Virgo's, my ex- is a virgo, there wasnt any REAL big issue with his sign to me, other than he is a BIG flirt. Im starting to wonder if its just not a "guy" thing, instead of what sign they are???? I mean, i think signs play a role in it, but It seems like if you arent a BIG challenge to a guy, they drop you like a hat. Not sure if my cancerian guy is playing games, or just coming out of a shell, and walking sideways back to me ???? would love to hear what you think?



  • Hey hun, be grateful that you have not been seeing him longer, one month is a good enough experience for being with a cancer male... they are in my opinion trouble... if for some reason you get back further in with this guy, your head will be in for a big roller coaster ride... you should read my thread... I was dating a cancer male for 3 yrs and i broke it off with him 2 weeks ago... it is really heart breaking, but i am feeling much better now, being that i do not have to deal with his mood swings.. and his instability.... just back off and give him time... off course he would remember you cuz they love to hold on to their past! but give him some time and do not rush him or even try to call him and you will see how fast he will be all over you... just take it easy and try to keep your mind focused elsewhere... when you don't show much interest in them, that's when they will want you even more... my ex wants to be all over me again... but no way i ain't riding that roller coaster again... unless of course for my own pleasures with no emotional attachment... good luck ... hope this helps...



  • mycancermale: Thank you very much for your advise. Im thinking I will be using it, because this is so dang hard. My mind is a mess with confusion and trying to figure out why he has no interest in seeing me since he has been back, and no texts anymore, and now no phone calls. I cant help but to think, did he do something wrong in Vegas ??? he came back a totally different person. and even admitting it just today.. its so confusing when there are emotions involved. In respects to your situation, I wish you luck. They are hard to let go of because they are so affectionate and gental. Of course you had 3 years, must be terribly hard for you. I hope your heart doesnt feel any pain, its horrible, im there now...hoping it wont be long before i can say "im better now". thank you for reading my post and posting back...it much appreciated it. the best of luck to you 🙂



  • all people are not created equal, and I truly believe this to be the same for sun signs. it's true that basic characteristics do exists, but to say all Leos are the same is just not true.

    each one of us have sun, moon, and rising signs that create your unique personality.

    Females generally relate to their Moon sign and Males relate to their sun sign. The sun represents masculine energy and it's aggressive energy. The moon represents feminine energy, and it's nurturing and passive energy. we all have masculine and feminine yin and yang. Men therefore relate to their sun, and women relate to their moon.

    Water signs Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces, are very sensitive, and their feelings go very deep. so perhaps the signs cancers and scorpios being very intense, sensitive, and moody do create problems for others, because even they can't explain their sensitivity. men often can't figure it out, so the need to withdraw and withdraw for weeks to months at a time.

    which is why many folks who can't handle the sensitivity most times turn to drugs, and alcohol to numb themselves from having to feel all of that stuff coming from other people.

    Sunny



  • as for Virgos... all I can about Virgos, is they are perfectionists, and have the ability to compartmentize and that can be very difficult for the sensitive female.

    Not everyone is meant to be in a relationship... being in a relationship takes work. if you want to have fun, and be high on life all the time, find a playmate and go to Disneyland. lol Virgos are extremely hard to read...

    some people are not meant to be figured out. when anyone plays mind games and do not want to explain the whys, then this person is just not that into you. if you are having a lot of trouble from the start, it's not going to get better.

    Sunny



  • Monte, I am in a similar boat as yours: scorpio female here, newly dating a cancer boy - nearing two months now. From reading your posts it sounds like your cancer man is pulling a temporary shell shock act. While it's all-consuming for you wondering what's going on in his head, trust me when I say there is nothing to worry about most likely. It sounds to me like he got caught up in his emotions for you prior to Vegas and was full steam go!, then went to Vegas and probably spent a lot of energy (Vegas will suck the life out of you, trust me - and I'm no gambler or boozer, but by day 3 I was exhausted - so imagine him at day 4, and then on day 5 finally getting home and simply needing to unwind and rest), and upon return everything probably smacked him in the face and caught up with him, so to speak. So now he needs to retreat, zone out doing homebody things he enjoys, relax, re-coop, and then he'll start coming around again, not skipping a beat from where you left off. His acknowledgment to you by addressing that he hasn't been as available per say means that he cares, imo. He probably just doesn't have the proper amount of energy to be back to himself quite yet, and he doesn't want to short-change you or himself by presenting himself less than what he has so far. Remember they have a shell for a reason. Not only for protection, retreat/home/nesting, but it is also their identity.

    If there is any advice I can give - and try to take myself, as I learn along this roller coaster ride that is dating a cancer male - it is to stay busy and take care of yourself!! This sounds easy to do, but it's actually easier to get caught up in the drama's they create in their retreats - I think the separation is more difficult for a scorp female bc we are already hard-wired to over-analyze and run away with our worst case scenarios/trust issues, and this becomes a trigger point for us bc we don't know the answer of 'why isn't he calling me back? what's going on in his head?'. We like control, and suddenly we are thrust out of control by their absence. Never mind that we do the same thing, just differently. And even the strongest, most independent of us begins to question herself with a cancer male, it seems. That's their trick, I'm convinced.

    So again, don't take things personally with him - bc I'm sure it's not intentionally designed to have you hurting and feeling insecure in his feelings for you - and take care of yourself and keep busy! Not only will it make the times you do get to spend with him more special, but you'll feel so much more confident in his feelings when you're apart - bc he IS thinking of you, just not the way you're used to with other signs/guys. To me, it seems that in thinking of you they get their own fulfillment; they don't have to physically see you or talk to you. It's as if by thinking of you, he's already fulfilled that warm, fuzzy feeling in himself - so he doesn't 'need' to reach out and call you or see you as often. Try it out yourself.

    My cancer and I had our first argument a couple weeks ago, and I thought that was it, the end, kaput. He had misunderstood a text I had meant as a compliment, and ran with it as a red warning flag of relationship pressures - to which I prickled up and fired back at him that he need not worry, I am in no way assuming we are in a relationship in the first place. Typical cancer-scorpio ego battle, which I can now kinda laugh at, but at the time - my goodness I've never wanted to punch someone so hard lol. After the heated text argument (he was as at work and couldn't talk on the phone), which was completely absurd bc it was so irrelevant to anything I had intended, I decided I needed my own space and time to think things out. Is this something I want? Is he worth all this frustration? What is he bringing to MY table?

    And then, finally, I realized if I didn't care so passionately for him he wouldn't have been able to get at my goat so easily. After all, it's not many men that have been able to get my head in such a spin. So I took a couple days away from him to think and write, and think and write some more, and then I composed everything and put it into a very long email and was diplomatic but firm with how I felt. I addressed everything as close to facts as I could; since my text was the catalyst of his fiery reaction, I felt he needed to know what my intentions were. And in being forced to read, he couldn't argue with me. He could have tried, sure, but I stood strong and I don't think he was expecting that. I think he expected me to be a sap and apologize, actually. Nope. I had done nothing wrong, other than bristle at his misplaced explosion. So he stepped down from his argument, and apologized in his own cancerian way of "it's cool, we're cool" - but he also realized one very important thing: I will stand up for myself.

    Which, again, goes back to take care of yourself! Because believe me, he is doing exactly that himself. It's necessary for everyone, but many of us get so caught up in how someone else feels about us that we don't realize we stopped questioning how we truly feel about them. It sounds to me like you're really smitten over your guy, and that's definitely a good thing to be - but obsessing over an insecurity he's created in you by retreating without explanation is not healthy for your confidence.

    The first time mine started on the push/pull retreat I addressed it a few days later, after the emotions had settled for me. I did this by telling my cancer guy that I was already in a funk feeling lonely and missing friends, and perhaps I shouldn't have reached out to him in text as a friend since our friendship is new-ish, but by him not responding or acknowledging me it only furthered my feelings of loneliness - which, to me, makes me feel weak and needy, and I don't like it. I tried to downplay it with humor, but I admitted to being embarrassed about feeling that way. Cancers are very similar to scorps in their depths of feeling, so by admitting my embarrassment of feeling vulnerable, and realizing that he had furthered that by not responding, has made him step up and respond - if even with a simple "lol". He didn't realize he had hurt my feelings until I told him I had feelings too, basically. It wasn't intentional on his part - he was just self-absorbed and doing his own thing, and he temporarily forgot there's a world out there and a girl he likes is in it. And, I'm a tough scorp, so it surprised him to hear I had vulnerabilities/insecurities too, and I think that helped humanize me more (if that makes sense lol) than the picture he had in his mind of me.

    Be careful in your timing when bringing up your feelings. And how you get them across as well, i.e. you may feel abandoned and confused about his feelings for you, but you would have to present it as a common courtesy/respect of each other in responding - even if the response is brief. Don't be afraid to say that you need him to acknowledge you or you feel abandoned. You have every right to your needs and your feelings, and if he cares (which I'm sure he does) he will respect and heed those. You know how scorpio's can be very matter-of-fact about our feelings, well this is one of those times where that approach may be best. Kid gloves, my friend. Just don't dwell on the negatives, and keep it light, use humor and analogies to express your feelings - don't wanna scare him back into his shell.

    It's a roller coaster, that's for sure. And I do hope they're worth it in the end. But either way, even when I'm frustrated with him, it's still more fun on the ride than it is not to be.

    Hope that helps in some way, and hope you have a great weekend doing whatever it is YOU like! 🙂



  • Ms Sunny,

    You are so right what you said about the water signs!

    I actually had this discussion last night with a friend.

    Can I ask you, if someone reads my tarot cards and they give me

    a time span on something which is suppose to happen and it

    doesn't, do you think the reader, read the cards incorrectly or

    the reader is not very good.

    This is just a question, just curious about timing.

    Hope all is well with you

    Piscesstar



  • Solarity- Its good to hear from a Female scorpion, also dating a cancerian. You seem to be better at holding your tongue then me, lol or more patient i should say. I think he is gone now for sure. When he never called me wednesday, I sent him a text message yesturday, saying i was thinking of him and hope he had a good day. With much surprise, he did respond, like you read above in my posting, but I think i may have taken it too personally. The part where he says "sorry I have been out of it since Vegas....Im overwhelmed. To much to do & I knew you would feel slighted" just dont sit right with me, lol Especially, when he just got back sunday, the next night goes bowling, and tuesday, the a baseball game..claims he will call me the next day, and doesnt...I guess Im just confused that per him, he is soooo busy with work and so much to do, and so tired, but he can still run every night and not even mention seeing me. So, needless to say, being the scorpion that I am...lol I sat here yesturday and dwelled on his response about me being slighted....I ended up convincing myself he has no desire to see me again, and its been 2 weeks since he seen me, Vegas changed him, lol...so, i sent him text telling him "this is not what i want, but im assuming you do not want to see me anymore. Im not sure whats going on with you becuz you are avoiding me, which is all i can assume right now. and i will give him what it seems he wants. and that i will always think of him"....never heard a thing back from him, so im sure he is gone! I must say, for the past week, I have been a mess, and I dont think its fair that he just leaves me hanging, feeling rejected and blown off. Im not sure if im on the money with him or not in that aspect, but it SURE feels it is, what it is...like he dont care to see me or even talk to me , something just isnt right and i felt i needed to send that text. So, im thinking my cancerian man/relationship is over. Boy how it sucks !! Part of me is relieved, but a bigger part misses him like crazy !! You seem to have more self control when it comes to your emotions. Not me, its Very rare when I let myself even get to this point, but when I do, its all i feel and breathe (if that makes any sense)....It just seems like he came back a different man.. and he is 50 years old, im 39 if that gives any insight. So im just to have some self control, and keep myself as busy as possible, and hopefully get to a peaceful point of this, because it hurts, and its hard. I would love to hear your input on this....hopefully i can learn to be more like you 🙂 have more willpower, more strength.. thanks for your post..hope to hear back from you....



  • I hate to comment on male cancers, but reading the last 2 posts bothers me. you ladies are taking their actions way to seriously, thinking it's you. it's the guy who is lying to you period. he is the one that is f k'd up ok?

    Cancer males are not the best with honesty. this I learned from experience with 2 cancer males, and through friendships. They are the best with lying... just don't want to hurt your feelings, so a lie is better than telling you the awful truth.

    Monte>>>> your cancer guy's action is questionable, and just does not add up. when things do not add up... the story does not make sense, trust your gut, he is lying to you.

    find someone more grounded, and reliable... boring I know, but it beats the lying deadbeats.

    Sunny



  • Piscestar>>>>>>You are so right what you said about the water signs!

    I actually had this discussion last night with a friend.

    Can I ask you, if someone reads my tarot cards and they give me

    a time span on something which is suppose to happen and it

    doesn't, do you think the reader, read the cards incorrectly or

    the reader is not very good.

    This is just a question, just curious about timing.

    Hope all is well with you

    Sunny>>>>> I could write a book on timing with the tarot cards. it sure is tricky, and not as easy as one might think. always easier to read for another than yourself.

    sometimes the reader can misinterpreted, especially if the client is demanding a time frame. lol too much pressure on the reader can be mis-read.

    if your reader is a good friend, she may have a hard time telling you what you need to hear. so that is something you may need to take into consideration.

    timing is universal, and cannot be measured the same way as a human would time on events. for example, lets say you are ready to reconcile, but your cancer man is not. so how to reconcile 2 people with different drives, energy, and responsibilities meet each other half way.

    no matter how many times, you say I want to know WHEN he will come around, or you say you are ready, he is not ready to meet you half way.

    when I read for someone, and the person needs to know on timing, I give approximate dates. out of 6 readings, I can get 4 of those readings right on with timing. the other 2, I do not know exactly, but the truth be told, even I as a reader do not know why he is being held back... action speak louder than words, so you can take his non-action as a confirmation, that he can't or is not at all ready to reconcile with you. so he will continue to stay in the background and inside his shell.

    we really do not know what other people are thinking at any given time. 65,000 thoughts enter in our brains every single day. so, it's not easy to just read someone else if that person has not given the reader permission to read. for example, too many ladies want to know what is this guy thinking and feeling. we can as a reader provide a synopsis... a brief look inside his psyche is pretty much all a reader is allowed to do. the client that is sitting in front of the reader is the one we can look at closely...

    my FIL passed away yesterday 3pm pacific time. he was 92, and he lived a long and prosperous life.

    thank you all for your support... xo Sunny



  • MS Sunny,

    So sorry to hear your sad news about your father inlaw.

    He is now at peace in a much better place.

    Sympathy to you and your family

    Piscesstar