Will my crabby Cancer come crawling back?

  • I started seeing a Cancer male a couple months ago. He recentley has been having a hard time because he's a first time home owner and is completely renuvating it (he won't even let me see it until it done!) and he just found out his ex that he was in love with was unfaithful to him. We talked about this and decided to not see eachother for the time being. He insisted that this is not the end, just not right now. I've never been in love with anyone before, but I know I'm in love with this Cancer. I've treated him with plenty of love, affection, understanding, and respect. So I'm just going to focus on myself for the time being until I'm back to my confident self and let him come back when he's ready. Is this the best course of action? Maybe I should extend an olive branch in a couple months? I'm a gemini and I've never been patient with anyone, but I feel like he's worth it. He's balances me out... at least I know what I want and what love is now even if he doesn't come back...

    Questions and comments are definetly welcomed!

  • He sounds worth waiting for definitely...and if things don't pan out love wise then he sounds like a great friend to have. Go with your gut instinct, build up your confidence (won't take long seeing as you are a fellow Gemini!) and then go for your man. My dad is a cancer and we're extremely close...Best of luck for the future!

  • Hi Karmacutie, I've been married to a Cancer for over 20 years and my biggest challenges have been dealing with his mood swings and need for space!! We jokingly tell that people that the secret to our 20+ year marriage is that we've maybe spent a month of it in each others physical presence but it's really not all that far from the truth,lol From an outsiders point a view our marriage is VERY unconventional, but it works for us. If you give him his space and let him know that you're there for him as a friend, chances are better than not that he'll come back to you. Unless he's got some strange aspects in his chart, Cancer's are pretty straight shooters and he wouldn't have asked you to wait if he didn't mean it. Good luck with your crab :-)) Oh, by the way, I'm a Leo, patience is definitely NOT one of my virtues either! lol

  • Trust is definately going to be an issue with him. Give him some time!

  • My, my. These Cancers. Well, I agree with Sheyna about him telling you to wait because he actually wants you to. Generally (and this is sans game playing), men will say exactly what they mean. Hopefully everything works out sooner rather then later, because, as an Aries, I also have no patience and a situation like that would drive me banana's.

    Just out of curiosity, how long did it take you guys to actually get into a relationship?

  • We were never official, we were just casually seeing eachother for about 2 1/2 months. From the night I met him I knew this was already a distracted time in his life. With his house, work, and old feelings still hovering from an ex ( he is SUCH a Cancer lol) I wouldn't normally persue a relationship with a guy in that situation- but something told me to continue seeing him. I also got the feeling something has GOT to happen between him and his ex to get rid of that 'rose colored glasses' view he had in order to move on (ohh those crabby claws, once they clamp, they have a REAL hard time letting go). Sure enough he found out she had been involved in shady behavior when they had been seeing eachother. So hopefully I'm laying a solid foundation to possibly continue seeing him in the future.

  • Ugh....I hope your cancer isnt like the one I know, or that is going to cause some very annoying problems. They really seem to take that kind of stuff to heart, and keep it there (the crabby claws is such a wonderful visualization). But, he clearly has an interest in you, so you have some nice upper ground on the situation. I think that he would seriously appreciate your support and patience.

    I'm also noticing Cancers have this tendancy to like....not commit. Everyone on this form talks about how casual everything starts out. They just love to skuttle around in circles. Jesus. I wish I could give you more advice, but cancers confuse the bazeezuz out of me.

  • Yea they do! But instead of annoying me as much as it should, it gave me a whole new perspective on what I want in a man. When you think about it, all of your closest friends probably started out slow, like you didn't see eachother alot in the beginning, you don't hold them to certain 'rules', things they do don't effect u that much, ect. So I kind of like the idea (since meeting him), of having a best friend that you're sexually attracted to! He was the first man ever in my life that could be a triple threat; my best friend, my lover, and we both like and want the same things for the future (even like having our weddings small and by water, did I mention he's a CANCER? haha) It was the first time I could see FAR into the future with someone and in a way it does work for me because I'm in my early twenties so I'm not that into something committed right now and he's pushing thirty.

  • My husband was my neighbor when we were in college and we became the best of friends, we dated other people but spent a lot of time hanging out with each other and the rest of the other people on our block. He went with me to visit my mom one weekend and SHE decided that we should get married.At the time we thought it was a good laugh so we went and got a license, kept drinking and two days later I had a hangover and a husband. I never wanted to get married, to anyone and neither did he and he's told me that our surprise wedding was the only way he could ever envision himself having gotten married and that I'm the only person he could ever be married to. He's not real big on the declarations of love and other romantic gestures but at least he gives me credit for putting up with him,lol

  • Wow Sheyna! That's a crazy story. I'm glad it ended up working out for you, though. Didn't do so well for Britney Spears, lol.

    And Karma, I guess that's true. Starting out slow is nice in the sense that you really get to know the other person. So th

  • Wow Sheyna! That's a crazy story. I'm glad it ended up working out for you, though. Didn't do so well for Britney Spears, lol.

    And Karma, I guess that's true. Starting out slow is nice in the sense that you really get to know the other person. So there's no surprises once you do commit. The only hard part is if you don't know how the other person feels. So you think...'are we going slowly, or is nothing happening and its all me?' I think thats why I like the whole boyfriend, girlfriend label. It makes things a lot more clear. Hopefully if you are in a relationship with someone its because you like them and want to be with them, right? But its a lot harder to come to that conclusion if your just....casually....together but not? Or maybe I just need my safety net.

  • I also have started seeing a Cancer about a month ago. i love it. I like learning the secret things about him. he doesn't talk very much. He travels for his job. I used to assume from the last conversation, where he was but, most the time I was wrong so, I nicknamed him Superman, he likes that. ( I happen to be at his house, and saw his certification on the wall, that's how i found out what he does) I read his body language pretty well too, I can tell by an irritated flick of his finger when he wants me to shut up ( I KNOW I talk too much) I put it into words and laugh. Reading your comments, you already know your in it for the long haul. mine is my friend too, even if he and I couldn't be lovers, i would cherish him as a friend. They always have many projects going and the moodys are part of who they are. I never try to get him out of his moods because I know they will pass like my PMS. I learn more about him when he has them. I'm not perfect. Sometimes I have my crazy moments and he understands them and puts up with them. I also have my kinky moments ( I'm a Scorpio) which seem to be bringing out his too!!

    Getting to know a Cancer is a challenge but, the friendship is one of the best. they are very loyal and will give you the shirt off their backs and hold on to you with that claw and if you know you deserve a friend like that and you WANT a friend like that, stick in there, call to check on him, don't push but, let him know you think of him. I was being stiff necked about something, of course I gave in. He can do the silent treatment for days and I can't take it, I texted him that I missed our texting and inside jokes and kissing his lips. Yes! I graveled and I'd do it again because the outcome was soo sweet!! It was kind of sexy that he didn't let me get away with my usual control/dominance that us Scorpios can use. Love with anyone is a risk. I'm in my mid forties and I have been in love with guys that I really didn't take the time to get to know and most of them were in love with the other girlfriend!! lol love yourself first and get to know yourself. be real with yourself.

  • LOL, yeah MariaRia, it's a crazy story but it's true, true, true,lol!! I told him yesterday that I was typing on a forum where gals were complaining about what a pain in the butt there Cancer mates were and he thought it was funny. He reminded me that even though he didn't SAY I love you often,I knew that he loved me and our boys (cats, we don't have children) with all of his heart and that he was loyal and a very good provider...., all true.

    Keeping in mind some of things 2knowmeis2love said, my husband and I have a lot little inside jokes that, though not necessarily romantic, are special to us. I've never had a boyfriend who was so playful in that way so it really is a kinda special thing that we have. I was pretty young when we got married and though I had dated a lot I never dated anyone who was so playful in that way. He has a great sense of humor and that's part of the glue that keeps us together. Also as far being real, my Cancer can't stand games or phony people so being yourself, always a good bit of advice, is a must with a Cancer. Since we've known each other more than half of my life (wow, it's almost scary when I think about it that way,lol), he knows me as well as I know myself, especially since we started out as friends. Oh, he also told me that he had a crush on me all those years we were neighbors, could have fooled me,lol I was flipping through an astrology book and it said that a Leo/Cancer pairing was as enjoyable as a life sentence in prison, I guess I need to go write a letter now!

  • I read in a really good astrology book that Cancers tend to fall for people who had no intention of anything serious with them! Which I can totally see in his scenario- he knew this girl for years and she was dating another guy for 4 years, they broke up and my Cancer persued her and they were on and off for a year, and now she's back with her long term guy and they're happy. I can totally see her not being ready to see anyone but appreiciating my Cancer's gestures and giving in because it's nice to be liked. I didn't call this out on him, although being a Gemini I normally would- we love 'reality checks', because I sensed if I did he would probably get defensive and it would've taken longer for him to realize she was just taking advantage of the situation. I did mention to him however, that mutual friends that she and I have said (now I never asked anything- cuz I didn't want to know about his past-honestly! Ya know cuz then you compare youself and get all girl insecure..)"Yea he had a thing for her for awhile, but to her he was just a rebound". And let that seed grow (not to mention my hands are clean!) .. he needs to realize the reality of the situation and that she's not his 'soulmate'.

  • I hope for your sake that he does. But I mean, she's already kind of stomped all over his heart, and if what I hear about Cancers is true, that usually means there's no returning to that situation once the trust has been broken. So, it's probably just a matter of him getting over it now. Which I hope happens sooner rather then later. I think its just important that you show your support.

    I find that 'cancers going for people who arent interested in anything serious' thing funny, and also scary. It really seems like its true, which means more headache for me, since I've already established in the past that i would really like a nice, secure relationship. But, I'm willing to do the friendship thing in the meantime....except that he's being very difficult, even with that. He seems to want to do everything kind of 'as it happens' instead of actually taking time out of his week to hang out outside of work. Which makes getting to know him hard, because we're very busy at work so I barely get time to speak to him. I really want to sit him down and tell him that im not going to dig my claws into his arm and shakle him to a ball and chain, but i would like to get to know him so lets hang out....but i dont know if thats the best approach with a cancer.

  • I find when people say things, they sometimes mean the opposite- I just read that Cancers trust your actions more than words- so maybe treat him like a friend, no pressure.

    I ran into my Cancer a couple weeks ago at a bar(in a different part of town than we usually hang out), SO RANDOM!! I knew I wasnt emotionally ready (plus my friend that I was with said I looked sweaty earlier that night, nice right?) but I knew I had to say hi since it was so random that we ended up there- I managed a smile and made small talk.. his friend was asking how this and that were blah blah- I said things were going great, but gave no details. My Cancer volunteered what hed been doing that day(I didn't even ask lol) I just kept it short and said "k well I just wanted to say hi, enjoy your beers guys- have a good night". I start to scoot the hell outta there (crowded bar) his face followed me and said, "So you're doing good?". Did NOT expect that after I already said bye- haha I yelled back " yep! doing good!". Got back to my table, paid my bill, then got outta there. I didn't want to linger around- that would've been awkward...

  • Hahaha, awww, cut the conversation short! You probably could have lingered a little longer. But I understand feeling awkward. I hope he calls you soon, because he clearly wants to talk to you.

  • LOL As a cancer married to one for 20 yrs and being with him for 22 yrs I knew my husband quite well. Yes we have our moods but they don't last very long. My husband and I would have a small tift and wouldn't speak to each other for the rest of the day but we woke up the next day as if nothing had ever been said. We spent most of "OUR" time together but we also had time away from each other.

    He didn't trust me for yrs due to his ex-wife cheating on him, but eventually I got tired of the game and started teasing him about him having a girlfriend and after that it all became just a joke. I always trusted him no matter where he went or what he did and as far as I know he was always faithful once we were married. I used to get into trouble from his brother for not knowing where he was as he would go to one friend's house and end up at another and another. LOL Well I'm not one to check up on someone as that would really show mistrust.

    He's worth having if you really want him and remember the moods don't last too long but they can fall right back into them. Good Luck!

  • As a male Cancerian, I adore female Aries....but they seem to run right by me. 😃 I've known a few Aries Females and I was intimidated by their confidence in themselves. Male Cancerians...I guess, figure they go slow and they love to take their time getting to know someone. So if the Aries woman rushes past them they'll stay friends with them knowing that eventually after they've exhausted everyone else the Aries woman will turn to them and by that time the cancerian male will have caught up to her. Getting to know her on his terms. (Friends) From the few Aries females that I know...the Aries females have alot of male friends and maybe as a child were considered a tomboy. Cancer males like that in an Aries woman. At least I do! guess I can't speak for all Cancerians. Cancers are less dominant then Aries and Cancerians like someone that can be more dominant. But, remember Aries females....Cancerians don't like to argue with you ( we might get moody). What Cancerians like is someone that will stick up for them. (fight for them) If a cancerian male really loves or likes you, he will fight for you even though it goes against what he believes and you don't want to be on the wrong side of a Cancerian. I myself can forgive...but i never forget...maybe that's my 2nd decan in cancer (which is Scorpio) that takes over not letting me forget.

    Sometimes, Aries and Cancerians can challenge one another. After all, Aries and Cancerians

    are both Cardinal signs and Aries is the beginning of Spring and Cancer is the beginning of Summer. So Cancerians pickup where Aries leave off. (Summer (Cancer) follows Spring (Aries) they blend together, Cancerians aren't that differant then Arians. Of course then Libra is a Cardinal sign (Fall) and Capricorn is a Cardinal sign (winter). Cancers heat things up which Aries likes (mental challenge). Aries likes warmth and Cancers are passionate in the bedroom and things get hot. Aries are the pleasers and Cancerians enjoy that. Arians stimulate Cancerians...so if you want a Cancerian, you better go get him Aries. I'm sure you won't be sorry! Mr. Cancerian is going to want you all to himself so, forget about having any male friends. You won't need anyone else!

    Are there any Aries females that can relate to maybe being tomboys growing up and wanting to release their feminine side and were just one of the guys? Maybe all your friends growing up were boys and you knew there was a feminine side to you that never got expressed. Any other signs have those feelings?

    Your right MadQueen, Cancerian moods don't last that long. You can usually know our moods if you know the weather. I myself, seem to get moody when I get tired and never knew that till I talked with an Aries. Cancerians also like some time away to recharge their batteries or connect with their feelings or to think about things. Cancerians usually give out more energy than they get in return. Which can make them moody! Remember! we are ruled by the Moon and our moods follow the Moons Cycles. You want to have a good time...Go out with a Cancer on a Full Moon!

  • hi there I met a man whose wife had recently lived him, we were neighbours and he is a cancer. He has been the most wonderful man I have known and I thought too that he was worth waiting for, as he had been hurt etc. Our relationship changed about a year after we had been friends, but we never slept together openly around the kids. I felt a bit slutty about this and I prefer things up and above board,s it was like wearing two faces all the time. He has a wonderful sense of humour and is very loving. However, he did sleep with another woman and did not really take any responsibility, has also been online and getting texts from a sex website at one stage. That seemed to be reslved though. then I found out he is not reliable with money, has bi-polar and one of his children from a relationship before his last one was involved in drugs etc, and still bludges on him for money. He has cost him a lot of money in the past and my cancer doesn't seem able to do anything but continue to enable his behaviour. Because I have children of my own and have been struggling financially, I cannot see how I can be involved in this. also as a capricorn, Ihave to really bite my tongue whenn I s ee this person and another of his children taking advantage of him. Especailly when I have helped him out with food etc in the past. I do not want to be in the middle of him and his children, and I do not want to be the one who has to say NO to what I consdier their selfish behaviour, and I do not want him to have to choose himself. so I am just backing away and cutting contact. I feel really sad though as he is a man who really touched my heart - and I have been hurt before badly - and was feeling just so lucky to know him. Does anyone have any advice for me? I can see why everyone loves Cancer men - they are so caring and loving, but I believe his kids need boundaries and firm discipline, as they are just getting out of control, and I don't want to see them get into trouble

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