Feeling depressed and a bit hopeless - pls help
In the past year or so i've been very depressed, I was very unhappy in a job that I left one month ago and basically I find it hard to find any joy in life - I feel lost, burned-out, without direction or purpose - my career has slipped away.
In April I decided that I needed to break the groove and move to another country, find another job, start afresh, and hopefully find my joy again. I put my property on the market and as yet it hasn't sold, I had decided to stay in the job until my property sold and I moved but when my property didn't sell I couldn't stay in the job any longer. I realise it was irresponsible of me to leave the job but honestly I couldn't stay there any longer.
I really feel lost, I haven't been able to find a job yet, plans to move country are on hold until we sell the property and there's not much interest in that at the moment.
I guess i'm wondering if/when i'll get a new job, when will we sell our property, will be move country and at a higher level what is the root of my depression and how can I help move myself out of it.
I would appreciate any guidance.
Blessings to all those who are bereaved and coping with illness.
hi Jandal, not sure if this helps but I try my best to~ =}
Basically, I felt that the chain of yours will soon be break and you might have a new job coming in yoour way soon.. I am not sure whether is it a job but I felt that it might be on a project base stuff.. I know that it has been hard on yu going through what U have mention.. in your present I felt that there is someone hinder u from going on.. mainly this person I would say that misusing what he/she actually knows to hurt u.. but the good thing is that U can recover from the hurt faster but there is still left a little mystery in what he/ she doing all this to you.. I don know if there is something like this going on for you but I believe there is more than that with this person.. what u fear of is because U can't really settle down which u long ago wanted to.. but I would say soon U will be able to get out from the trap that u are in so I think there isn't much worries about that.. in the near future, things might not go by your way but why not try to follow the flow of it? I think this might be able to help in what u are doing rather than going against it.. and my piece of advise is even u are on a rougher road don ever give up.. there is always a brighter side waiting for you.. =}
Thank you Mikyo for your kindness in taking the time to respond. I think it is good advice to go with the flow, it's just felt so grey for so long now but I guess i've been trying hard to get my property sold as moving to another country has felt like a way out/a fresh start and when the property has not sold this has made me feel more trapped. I'm not sure if there's someone around me hindering me from going on, my partner wants to move as much as I but my partner has a deeper call to the religious life which would part us - this has surfaced many times over the years and has yet to be resolved one way or the other - it does disrupt our relationship as I'm not sure if my partner will one day choose the religious life over our long partnership - perhaps this is what you are picking up on as I feel that my partner has two deep loves, me and the calling. However this is an issue that I have lived with for many years - the deep depression started about a year ago a few months after starting my last job. Thanks Mikyo for mentioning that a job, even if its a project thats fine, will be coming my way soon.
All guidance is greatly appreciated.
I'm glad that it helps you~ but it would be a waste if the relationship just ended like this~~ but still who knows wat might be happening next~
My sense is my relationship is not causing my depression or 'stuckness' - maybe i'm wrong, maybe it is part of it - irrespective of my partner I am responsible for my happiness and I want to live a happier life. For me it feels like I cannot find my stride in life, I had hoped at my age to be in a job that I was good at but I haven't felt happy for a long time, I lost a lot of confidence in my last job. Moving to another country with more employment opportunities was a way to 'kick-start' some new beginings but in the current property slump that doesn't appear to be happening despite me trying hard to sell our property.
I am aware its important to stay positive so I try to do that, can anyone help me what what the next year will hold, by birth date is 05/24/68
Jandai, you are called to a life of individuation that might mean you have to be willing to let go of other people and situations in order to go your own unique way. You will never be happy as long as you follow someone else's expectations or dreams or way for you. To accomplish your destiny, you must develop a healthy dose of self-interest in order to slip away from the many who cling to you and pursue your own personal star. Your karmic path requires you to do things your way regardless of others. A key lesson for you to learn is that there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, as long as social and moral values are maintained.
You were born with the tendency to be blown about by the needs, expectations, and desires of those close to you. One day you will look around and be surprised to see just how many people are dependent on you because you are so well liked and valued as a friend and confidante. You are always strong and courageous when people need help so why can't you have that same confidence in personal and intimate relationships? You can't live your entire life filling other people's 'orders' - you must make yourself happy first, then you can make other people happy with your happiness. Don't let a tendency towards superficiality or a preoccupation with appearances hold you back. Instead of scattering your energy trying to help many people or achieve many projects, choose just a few of your many interests to focus on. You have prodigious energy but you waste it by giving it out to everyone or getting swept up by the latest trends. If you would only apply more of your time and energy to your own goals and let those who have come to depend on you find their own feet, you would have no trouble achieving whatever you want.
You have amazing analytical skills, a natural brilliance, wonderful curiosity, and true charisma. You can go far if you take off some of those human 'anchors' and responsibilities that are weighing you down. This applies especially to your partner because when you are in love, you lose your sense of self and become powerless. You become obsessed with proving you are worthy to be loved and may fall for all the wrong people. You are some sort of a cross between a romantic and a masochist, since you tend to be attracted to someone you can't have because their interest lies elsewhere. It's not that you like having your heart ripped out - it's just that until you realise what a truly lovable person you are, you'll always feel you have to be some sort of love slave, or always looking for the perfect love object, which in your unworthy-feeling state, would be someone who hurts you.
You really do want to experience happiness, harmony, fairness, and support with one partner whom you love. Bu, to achieve this, you must be your own partner first. You can't rely on anyone else to complete you - you must do that for yourself. And you must lose your preoccupation with justice - "My survival is dependent on everyone playing fair with me." You are very giving by nature, yet your need for justice and fair play is a bottomless pit. You must start playing fair with yourself by not giving beyond a point that feels comfortable.
In your career, you need to be able to follow your own impulses and ambition, without being limited by the input of others. You are one of the leaders, the innovators, the pioneers of the world. You need a profession that allows you to follow your own instincts or that requires initiative and independent action, such as that of a surgeon, writer, inventor, technician or entrepreneur, for example. Your powerful curious mind borders on genius but needs free rein. Money will be a central theme of your life - many people with your particular profile pull themselves up by their bootstraps to become self-made millionaires, and then go on to be generous philanthropists.
According to your numerology, 2010 from your birthday in May onwards is all about change, freedom and adventure. Horizons are expanded and growth is less impeded. You are likely to make a number of new friends this year as social activities are widened. This is a year that will bring excitement and a good deal more freedom than you have experienced in recent years. This is a time for feeling loose and free; for moving away from old routines in a constructive way. If you became bogged down during 2009 or early 2010, now is the time to seek out new paths.
The problem here can be the tendency to scatter energies in all directions (which you can do in any year but especially now.) Your ability to do detail work is limited now and it will make you feel very confined. In all, this a free-wheeling year that is liable to bring major changes to your life; your career, your family situation, your residence. 2010 asks for flexibility, since the universe often brings rewards in unexpected ways. In the event that you hold resistance, changes can come that will catapult you forward. There may be some amount of risk in the year, but rewards are what 2010 wishes to bring you. Often at this time, relationships at a distance and travel are highlighted. This is the time to get out of destructive interpersonal relationships as well as business relationships that offer no chance for progression.
Assess your current goals and life mission. Acknowledge what you accomplished during the last few years, and what you are still working toward. Recreate your goals, reflect on how they fit in your life now, and recommit yourself to what you want to create. Next, define baby steps that may help you get there. Ask yourself where you can take some calculated risks that can open new doors. Remember to allow for miracles, and not to be too attached to each step. Allow the universe to bring you wonderful surprises. This year, freedom, travel, communication and exploration through the senses are at the forefront.
December will be a power month for you in your career and for achieving everything you want. October is for devoting yourself to family, home and friends. November is about contemplation, inner discovery, retreat, and introspection to get in touch with your authentic self and its desires. So that by December you should be fully confident that you know what you want and how to get it.
TheCaptain, wow thank you so much for your post and guidance - i've now read it three times and recognize much of what you say. I appreciate that you took the time to help me out and give me some hope for a brighter future, it means a lot at this time.
Much blessings and sincere thanks
You're very welcome!
I don't know why but they deleted masochist from my post.
lol, I thought the "and a ****" stood for ass...something....!
Hi Jandal, I don't know what you experienced on your job but sometimes you can still get unemployment ins. if conditions were bad. EEOC or an attorney may be able to help. I think it's called constructive defense.
I feel that you did just as you were suppose to do in quitting your job, as it was depleting your life force and making you depressed. You will sell the property in March 2011 I know that seems to be a distance off , but will be upon us before we know it. You of course may have another job at that time that will not be in the same field you were in before. Moving out of country is it Europe or near that region?I feel rolling green hills and a Tuscany fell to the area, it seems as though you have had a past lifetime or two in this region. You were very happy than and long for that same feeling now. The world we live in is in transition at this time and how we live and our deceisions will gravitate to the new beginnings that we all face as it seems jobs are scare at this time and many levels of life are in transition so hold in there and you will win if you do not let depression overcome your thoughts. Better days are ahead of you, so please look forward to them soon. I hear the names of Pilar, Ouno, Kay or Kate and Charolett coming in around you to be of help.
Thank you Shuabby. I am from europe but now live in NZ and am thinking of moving to Australia for a few years before moving back to europe permanently. You are right my last job depleted my life force and made me depressed - I didn't fit in from the begining and stayed longer than I should have as I planned to leave as soon as my property sold which it didn't so by Sept I felt so diminished that I went in one day and resigned. Since then I haven't been able to get a job but I am hopeful to get one soon. Thank you for providing a sale date for our property, March 2011 - its helpful to have an indication that it will eventually sell.
I appreciate your offering of hope, I really hope that I can feel joy and enhusiasm again. I feel that I have aged 20 years in the past 18months, my brain feels slow and dull and I feel like I am wasting my life.
Thank you all for your kind words they are very much appreciated.