I've fallen and I cant get up...LibraLady/AriesWarrior

  • I am not sure how this whole Forum thing works. I am going to give a brief description of what is going on.

    Perfectly 'comfortable' in my current relationship( I said it was complicated). My current guy was born on aug 22, the end of the leo cycle. We are compatable like Leo/Libra but his personality traits seem more Virgo.

    Anyway...I randomly meet a guy online. It was insane how we instantly finished eachothers sentences, literally. Hello Aries Man! There's the polarity! We were both a little shocked by the connection and have other commitments but it felt soooo good. I mean, I felt something magical just looking in his eyes(on webcam mind you). Not really my style. He felt the same and expressed himself. He is "more open with me than with anyone else, as weird as that sounds". His feelings are genuine, I know it.

    We would email ALL DAY LONG, 90-100 emails in my outbox, back and forth. Not long romantic emails professing our love but showing eachother we care. Fun, funny, good stuff. Little comments that make your heart flutter. Stuff that you only someone who is literally your twin in some sense could understand. We met fairly quicly after our inital online chat. We have had short but meaningful times together, so ARIES!

    Our day to day lives and relationships began to interfere with our time able to actually focus on one another. Actually, he pulled away. I was available but cautiously and not overbearing, as I know aries loves the chase.

    One evening, he signed on. He was very sad. I could see his face on cam. Told me he and his girlfriend really hashed it out that evening. The libra that I am, talked him through, putting my feelings aside and gave honest advice. We only had a short time to chat and before he signed off, I told him that I really needed to talk to him because I was feeling conflicted. He asked me to write him an email(although cliche, its our main way of communication). I replied with, "You do not want me to do that" and he asked me if I would. I did. I told him I was scared because he was pulling away. It was an emotional night, March 5. Hello Mercury, Hello Retrograde. His reply was very sweet and comforting. He told me that if he is pulling away it is because he senses how much this is troubling me. He stated that he does not want to play with my emotions or heart. It did lack the 'we' factor us libra ladies love to hear but I understand him so well, I dont take it personally.

    We are both in relationships that are dull and wondering, although boring, is stability and security more important than having a deep connection? Are there different kinds of love in relationships? Can my love for my current man become deeper in a sense that it is not a whirlwind but good for me?

    I have this other guy, who is fantastic, literally awesome. Loves me to death. Loves who I am as a person, inside and out. Loves my flaws, stands by me.

    I am so torn.

    I cannot continue this relationship with Aries and wrong the other man in my life but I am fearful to let the connection we have go away. It has already faded and that makes me literally ill. He takes the time to give me updates on what he is doing that evening or whatever. Followed by, I really want to see you soon. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Why do you want to see me soon? I have read that it is not a good time to make serious relationship decisions. I also know that once you tell an Aries goodbye, that is it! Its over, no going back. I cannot possibly live like this. I am getting nothing from it except a few shining moments engulfed in days of grief. I am not that needy that I want constant attention but I mean, come on, you gotta throw me a bone once in a while.

    He made a comment 2 nights ago while on webcam. He complimented me by saying, "You are so beautiful, I could stare at you on here all night". I thanked him. Then he has to set it off with, "In person, not so much...You know I cant build you up and not tear you down a little" WTF?! I can take a joke but why say something like that when things are so rocky? He then said..."I only say outrageous things like that to you cause I know you can take it" TYPICAL ARIES..testing the waters. Heres where my Libra kicks in, but wait, did he mean that he isnt attracted to me in person and is that why hes fading? I have read it is not good to make serious relationship decisions right now, however, I cannot take this anymore. Also, I cannot let this just fall off naturally, I need closure in order to be able to truly let go. I do not want to push him away forever though and from what I read on Aries, if I break it off, he will go away and never come back.

    I am so conflicted it hurts. I have never been the 'other' woman and hold others relationships in high regard, as though it may not seemj that way. I am not a fan of women who do not repsect other women. I feel that as a gender, we should be loyal and respect one another. Stick together kind of thing.

    This is literally consuming me.

    Can anyone give advice on what to do?

  • I've answered your post on the other topic you posted on....I've Fallen one. Please have a look!!!

  • Thanks so much..going to check now!!

  • Okay, I'm gonna start off by saying something I think that everyone who reads your post must be thinking...If he is willing to be secretive and go outside his current relationship for comfort, it's a sure bet he'll do it again, and again, and again.

    You said you thought women should stick together and that you are not an advocate of "Being the other women", but that is exactly what you are, and it is as simple as that. Why would you even consider this new guy, who barely throws you bones. I mean that comment he made about your appearance was really uncalled for, it was downright mean. You can make all the excuses in the world for his behaviour because he is an Aries, but that can only go so far. Our astrological signs gives us hints at a general way or charachteristic about ourselves, but, it in no way excuses immoral or unethical activities.

    Your entire post was about you and this new guy and how confused he has you. I feel bad for both of your partners, how do you think they would feel if they knew this was going on. Put yourself in thier shoes.

    I don't see anything attractive about this new guy, except for the fact that he is "new", and you are getting those butterfly's in your stomach moments that we all know and love when someone new comes into our lives. Again I have to reiterate, you said, "I am not a fan of women who do not respect other women". But your actions speak much louder than your words, because that is exactly what you are doing. I know you are fearful that if you let this guy go he won't ever come back. That's a risk you will to take in order to do the right thing for your current partner, and he sounds to me like a great catch. I don't know your age, but I can tell you for sure at the ripe ole age of 48, that the grass can sometimes look greener on the otherside, but it isn't, I mean that truly, I can't express it enough.

    I stated earlier that if this guy is willing to be secretive and go outside his relationship for comfort that you should stop and ponder what this means, and suddenly I had an epiphany, what does the fact that you're willing to go outside your relationship in a clandestine manner mean about you. Ask yourself how you want the world to see you, then get up everyday and be that person, the one you want the world to see.

    One last thing you asked in your post you asked, "Is stability and security more important than a deep connection? Is it possible that the current relationship you're in become deeper? I don't know the answer to those questions, but, i do know you have to give your current partner the respect he deserves and there are lot's of ways to do that. I always told my children, it's really easy to be beautiful on the inside, but, being beautiful on the inside is what really counts.

  • Thank you so much for your reply. I really needed perspective. I truly appreciate it.

  • DFlawless I wonder. Why were you out looking in the first place. Now I can ask you this cause I am the same sign. Before you jump from the frying pan into the fire you needed to get out of your boring one. I wonder if you are used to a lot of drama in your life? Now I lived all my life with chaos all around me. So if I found someone who didn't live in that all of their life and didn't want it around them. I would get bored too. I honestly didn't know what it was like to live without chaos. So I just couldn't imagine my life being a slower pace, calm, non-combative. I can tell you that if that's what your used to then I see where your coming from. Doesn't make it right by any means. Libra's lean towards justice and doing the right thing. You may come to a time in your life where you say I don't want the drama in my life anymore and I had to say it outloud before my life changed. No happiness comes from these relationships. But if you wouldn't want someone to do this to you then you need to make some hard decisions and stick to what is the best for you. What is healthy for you mentally, physically, emotionally. And you might even have to forgive yourself for being dishonest because your being dishonest to yourself as well. This is from my own experience and let me tell you now at 60 I am glad I changed myself at 45. I wish you the best whatever you decide. But it sounds like you were already to run and you were looking for someone to run to. Wouldn't be my choice cause I know what signs I would have problems with. And my polar opposite is one of them. They drive me carzy. I find them too self centered and I can't keep my mouth shut for long with one in the same room.

  • Hi everyone; Have you heard of this game called: Arab Telephone? Well it is simple- one person says a phrase and then it is being transmitted to the next and so on and in the end the last person to hear what is said is telling the others what he or she heard. It is funny that in the end the phrase you get is so disturbed from the original meaning. This is what happened here on this board.. Sorry, but it seems to me some people lost track.

    Here is how I understood what happened:

    • libra woman always loved and will love aries man- there is no question about it!

    It is not because he is new it is because he she senses a deep connection with him and she recognize in him a soul-mate. Now Aries man never showed her enough stability to give her courage to leave the old relationship. Libra woman trusted the aries man but he failed her over and over again. She did not feel hurt because of his comments because she knew he was crazy about her in every single way. She never doubted him or his attraction to her, but she wanted more. She knew he was her soul-mate but she also noticed his flaws. She kept asking herself- why this man? There are other men out there that may fit me better.. but she turned down every other man she met because she felt in her heart that is the man she is supposed to be with. She noticed the guy she loved was quite unfit in every single way. She asked God to take him away from her if he is not the one for her, to make her forget him. Nothing really worked. Eventually she went to a sorceress for advice. She asked her why is she feeling this way about this new man? The sorceress was able to find out that she indeed had met her soulmate and that she actually knew him already from a previous life. She also said that he is here now to hurt and disappoint. She also thought that perhaps someone put a spell on her, her husband's family perhaps. It is not a habit she has to date outside her marriage. It happened because she believed there is someone else for her. She is not looking to pursue the love with the Aries man unless this man will show her he is worthy of her true love. Only then she will decide to make a move. This Aries man will have to undo some of the mistakes he made before there will be friendship.

  • HighPruestess09 Did I confuse the first part of her story? Didn't she say she was with a Leo on the cusp of Virgo. And met an Aries online?

  • I'm a Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Virgo rising, Cancer N. Node. I'll give it too you raw. Okay, Libra....Now, you know why you feel such a "Deep" connection in such a SHORT time. It's because that is your opposite sign in the Zodiac! That's where your "sparkly eyed'ness" comes from. In short that is your marriage sign. Now...the bad part is, the Aries type always stray away easily. So I would suggest that you let it go {Yes, Libra you!! You have a tendency too make things "over" on your own time not a mutual time} and stop talking with his shadow...because he is already gone. I've been around way to many Libra's who want what they cannot have or that is someone else's. They tend too have a philosophically bent way too convince themselves that they "Respect" other people's relationships and are loyal. You think "I didn't force him too come too me or say those things, so I can't be held responsible for the demise of the current relationship he is in" However, you are just as wrong for excepting him into your world knowing that he's ruined someone else's. Just remember history repeats itself and either end of it will always make you the "other girl" because of the personality that your dealing with.

  • Sorry I think you made a couple of errors- TheNOTSOtotalessenceoftruth

    Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Virgo rising, Cancer N Node;

    and sorry- I felt the same before for a Pisces man..how would you explain that?

    i have a better answer/ explication for that- every time something major is about to happen you meet random people that you get unusual connections with that have no other explanation than that you need to meet them in order to meet other people and make happen things that otherwise could not happen. I m sure you cant understand- but here is an ex:

    I met this Pisces man that I got so crazy about but he was not my final destination. He was the bridge to meeting another man that given my personality and status and circle of friends I would have not met otherwise. I think that sometimes we meet people we get unusual connections with because they are half-way destinations or connecting points to get somewhere else. As you said Libra is stuck on her half way destination, except this time it feels like her final stop. She received encouragement to believe that the Aries man may be her final destination. Only Aries man himself can give that response. Why does he not reply to her posting? AriesWarrier09 can you please help? If his true answer is NO then Libra will know is her connecting dot and not her final destination.

    • Sorry I dont think for a second that Libra girl is the "other" girl. I believe she was there first, way before someone else arrived. I think Libra girl should fight for what she thinks is her to begin with. You can't just dismiss her from the competition without a fight. Is her right to be there and only Aries man can make that choice. Again, AriesWarrior09 where are you?

  • Well,

    I can say this about Aries. They love conflict hence war. I would take some of his queues a little cautiously. For example, when he wanted you to e-mail you him instead of talk about it. This is clue number one. I feel like he is not willing to confront the issue. It is rather easy for him to read a letter instead of deal with your feelings face to face. However, I think straight up honesty is the best policy.

    I personally dated an Aries and it was nothing but an emotional rollar coaster ride. For some reason Aries are attracted to Libra. I personally think it is a quest to rival up a peaceful person.

    Anyway, gl.

  • I don't want to seem unkind but this sounds like nothing more than a guy going online and messing around. DFlawless, you sound like a sensitive, loving person. Don't settle for less than you give and don't turn an imaginary scenario into something it's not. You haven't even met this man in person, have you? If you don't love your current partner, who you say loves everything about you, it is better to be honest with him and free yourself to start another relationship with someone who doesn't live on his webcam. Don't be a toy for this person who sounds a little mean.

  • Thank you all very much for all of the information and advice. It has been a whirlwind. I have never pictured myself in a situation such as this. We did meet in person and the physical connection was just as intense as the mental.

    All in all, I have ended it with Aries. I told him that I cannot continue to dangle when I have serious life decisions to make. I also told him that I have too much self-respect to be the other woman. I would not want it done to me and I do not want to do this to the other woman or my guy. It just isnt fair. When two people give you their all, such as the other people involved here, they deserve the respect of a realtionship ending properly. For instance, I do not want to end my current relationship because of somerone I have known for 1 month, regardless of any connection. My boyfriend has been nothing but supportive and caring all along. He deserves the best of the best.

    Although its over, I feel more peace than knowing it is an option in my head. Libras and decisions...:) One less for me to fret over.

  • I read the whole thread, Dflawless, and you've grown into quite a smart Libra lady! I, too, am a Libra --- Taurus Ascendant & Moon, Venus in Virgo, Mercury in Scorpio. I was always looking for my "soul mate"...and had serious relationships with 3 Aries men. What nightmares they were!

    Aries man is always drawn to the Libra gal, as she is the AIr that feeds his Fire. It's always romantic at first, intellectually stimulating too, and the sex is phenomenal. But, eventually, the WARRIOR always shows his true colors...way to crude, rude, and controlling for a Libra gal for sure. And CONTENTIOUS is the Aries male's middle name...which can be an absolute embarrassment and aggravation to the Libra gal, until she is just totally turned off and finally runs for the hills. And when Aries guys don't get their way, they can be downright cruel and nasty...leaving the Libra gal in tears over and over.

    The last relationship I had with an Aries man was so bad, the he phone harrassed me and stalked me for 10 months after I kicked him out of my life...the only time in my life that I ever had to get the LAW involved after a breakup.

    I've always prided myself on ending relationships that weren't working on a friendly note, but it is impossible to do that with an Aries man. Once you wound their pride, you're the enemy, and they declare war on you...some more than others, just because you dared to not worship him and love him unconditionally -- no matter how big of a jackass and control freak he turned into.

    They just see that you are disloyal and a liar about truly loving them in the first place, and it makes them mad! Never mind that you adored them before they showed their dark side...

    Girl, I applaud you, you just saved yourself a whole heck of a lot of pain and regret...because the Libra - Aries pairing almost never works out...there has to be a bunch of complimentary aspects in their charts for it to work, and then it's still hard.

  • SweetRavenNCincy,

    Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me. I am so sorry you had to go through all of those terrible things! I can totally see what you mean though, its a great connection but not a feeling of ease. He will always want something more. That I do not want to be involved in.

    It was not easy to end but I feel very good about my decision. What you said about aggrivation, I could already see that happening. Not because I was aggrivated we didnt have time to talk but because he did not value the time we did have to chat. I have a feeling he'll be back, I havent heard the last from him. I am actually very happy to get on with my own life as well as the life I have with my great boyfriend. He truly is awesome and I believe this Aries was brought into my life for me to realize what is missing in my relationship. Not that I should end my current relationship, but merely work on having fun with one another. We used to, so it is totally possible. It becomes difficult when bills, and 'real life' come into play. All in all, I am very blessed with him.

    I truly appreciate your kudos because it was not easy to make that decision..hell, I cant even decide what to eat for dinner!

    Once again, thank you so much all. I was very conflicted when I posted the story. It is great to know that there are people in this world willing to help those they do not even know. It brings great comfort!


  • Point well made, HP

  • I m shocked... at the comments of SweetRavenNCincy which sounds to me more like SourRavenNcincy... and you know at this point I feel like I really really I want to die if after everything I had to go through this is all what this libra had to say. Venus in Virgo may explain why she never got married.. It is always an excuse for libras to blame others to cover their lack of capacity to commit to any relationship. "wheIn Aries guys don't get their way, they can be downright cruel and nasty"- do they? really? Let me have a different opinion: how about Just- Bold- Speaking the Truth that you may not want to hear.

    "He phone harrassed me and stalked me for 10 months after I kicked him out of my life...the only time in my life that I ever had to get the LAW involved after a breakup."

    Do always libra lie to themselves and to others? Phone harassed or asking questions and explanations libra was avoiding to give because she knew it was her fault and did not want to admit it!! Let me translate: Aries wanted straight answers to straight questions Libra was to coward to answer. Aftter 10 months? or more like 6 months exactly because that is what the law said it was necessary to get applied/ enforced; Libra used the law that did not apply to her situation to stab the poor Aries. Very calculated indeed! Stalked you? Stalked you? Or just tried to make a normal living in a small town. But for libra's unlimited hate the entire town, all the parks the beaches, all the libraries and all the roads belonged to her!! The Aries was to disappear from the entire Plant where libra existed so she will not have to remember of her!!!

    Poor Aries understood Libra's ulterior motive all along- but loved her too much to take real action. He tried to find excuses for libra's ulterior motives. He knew her actions were just the result of her unlimited jealousy.She needed the law when she committed a tort. What better way to cover her actions? Her irresponsible behaviour?

    thanks for support baybena 🙂

  • DFlawless-

    sorry to tell you - you made a wrong conclusion:

    "He truly is awesome and I believe this Aries was brought into my life for me to realize what is missing in my relationship. Not that I should end my current relationship, but merely work on having fun with one another. We used to, so it is totally possible. It becomes difficult when bills, and 'real life' come into play. All in all, I am very blessed with him"

    • NO he came into a life because you were to meet some very narrow minded hateful people in store where he worked. You would have never met those people if it was not for him. These people were all the same religion and hated all the other species on earth. They were connected with local authorities that were only a mirror of their feelings and beliefs. You went through some experiences where you almost lost your life- you were harassed day and night, then they broke your arm and put you in a hospital where they tried to inject you to change your thoughts. They replaced your good medical records with that of ill patients to destroy your life completely and never be able to get job. They told you if you talk about it they will go as far as murder. You find out about a criminal organization built behind the scenes of a legitimate prestigious organization. It has a lot of power but serves a different criminal cause. When the truth will come out..you will be the one everyone will turn to congratulate and thank.

    sorry the roles got reversed here but some people seem to mix characters with intent or not i dont know-

    and I do have a question for SourRaven- if you were "stalked" what are you doing on a tarot site when you have nothing to do with this subject?

  • Libras United here; Yes I agree with my fellow libras. We are a sign of justice and the way I translate this is "do ourselves justice". I mean by that go with what your employer tells you to do even that means convicting an innocent person to keep your job.

    Our justice is do our interest first.. and then what happens to the others is NOT our fault. I too like SweetRaven here claimed I ve been stalked when the other person did not want to get a divorce!! Never mind I asked too many times when are you getting a divorce to my "stalker"...Never mind I tried to get them into bed..when they said NO they instantly became my enemy / my stalker.. When they wanted an explanation I went silent, any child can read my mind when I do not speak! I went crazy with jealousy and i went to the "hills" where I gathered some help.

    There I did find help indeed- I found some undercover apes I play tennis with.. they taught me how to set my partner up to send them to jail. I always use friendly ways to depart with my ex-es.. that want not to be cheated on or lied to.

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