Which one...?

  • well heres how my story goes. ive never been good with long relationships. but the one im in at the min i love. But theres one problem, ive drifted apart and i cheated but i told him and he took me back now im not so sure what to do because the boy i cheated on him with says he is in love with me and i honestly believe him, but so does my original boyfriend im not sure what to do.... i know im still young but i know whatever way it goes im goin to end up breaking one of their hearts. so im stuck in the middle between both of them.

    original boyfriend has got the looks and realli cares about me

    boyfriend after has everything else and he cares for me.

    but im still not sure which one i feel more strongly about. i dont want to makr the wrong decision.

    HELP...! Save my love life and a heart

  • I think you need to be careful for one. When you walk on a picket fence, if you slip you can get hurt. I know that may not make too much sense to you but it will one day. When you play with two peoples hearts they both may just walk away. They may think you will do this again and they don't want to get hurt. I wouldn't want to have to make this decission if I were you. I think if you think with your heart you should make the best decission for you. But be gentle with the hearts of others as well.

  • Hi, You don't have to make a decision. That can be your decision. There is a reason that you cheated--right. Maybe you were wrong for cheating. I don't know. One thing I know for sure, you need to think about what you are doing before you do it otherwise you are going to have problems in life. You also need to open up and talk or express your feelings to the one your with. If you don't know why you cheated then that's a problem on it's own. Did you feel pressured.

    Take your time. Have you never heard of False Dilemma, look up the definition on the internet. It's a false argument we tell ourselves when basically there's probably 10 different options for you. Also, don't get in the trap of telling lies. The truth is always the best and usually people know when you are dishonest. Don't ever do anything your not 100 % sure of. Don't waste your time on someone that you are not "crazy" about.

  • Well you said you were young, but, did not say how young. This piece of info is very important in answering your question. So I guess we will play multiple choice. If you're between the ages of 16 and 20, I say there is no wrong decision, the odds of whichever one you pick, statistically speaking, will most likely not be the person you spend the rest of your life with. So pick the one, you have the most in common with, the things you like to do, etc. Stay away from any guy that wants to be controlling and tell you what to do, or when you can see your friends or family.

    If you're between the ages of 21 and 24, then you have look really deep down into your heart, looks are not everything (I know you have probably heard that a million times) but, I can't stress is enough, it's not how someone looks on the outside, it's how they look on the inside that counts. Most of all pick the one that interacts well with your family and friends, since you are in your early twenty's you never know this could be a man you choose to marry. So His background is very important, nationality (culture, will you agree on cultural issues) religion, (sometimes religion is a deal breaker in serious relationships) Money, (money is a huge problem, especially if there is a lack of it), I am not saying choose the one that has more money, I'm saying if you choose the one who doesn't, make sure he's not an emotional wreck over it.

    Most importantly, choose the one you long to be with, the one if you wake up in the middle of the night and think about him you get butterfly's in your stomach. The one as he approaches you from across the street you want to run right into his arms. If you don't feel this way about either of them, then, why choose either one, move on, until someone who does give you those feelings comes along.


    If you are picking one for that reason, STOP, this is an indication that you need to be alone, for a while anyway. The reason, to know how to be alone. So many women in the world end up with the wrong guy, get married, bring kids into the picuture, and the whole time feel trapped and wonder why they ever made those decisions. If you learn to be alone first, the chances of making the wrong love decisions in the future less likely.

    One final note, remember people are living far longer today than they did say even 25 years ago, you have a long life left ahead of you, and you have to live with yourself and be able to look in the mirror everyday and think, I like who I am, I am a good, honest person, and I like how I look to the world. It's very possible in this day and age people can live well into their 90's, now that's a long time to be with someone!!!

  • You are very brave for coming out and admitting your problems and dilemma, but you are definitely not alone. This kind of situation is more common than you think. Don't make any irrational decisions. Either way someone's feelings will be hurt but you need to follow your heart in deciding which person to be with. Sounds to me they both have feelings for you but you need to be with the one YOU have feelings for and that you will be happy with.

  • To be perfectly honest it sounds as if you want neither but are grabbing hold of them so as to have a "boyfriend". Look carefully - original boyfriend you cheated on....so what was it that made you cheat on him? ...and what would really stop you doing it again in the near future? As soon as your lovelife takes a plunge, will you look for pastures anew? If you really loved him, you wouldn't have cheated on him. Second boyfriend - you went back to your original boyfriend, so he obviously didn't have what you're looking for in a relationship either. Both lads may love you, but you don't love them back...although you may like and care for them or love certain qualities about them.Why not give yourself space from both guys - yes you'll break a couple of hearts and it will be really hard and sad but in the long run it will leave all 3 of you to discover really meaningful relationships elsewhere.

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