Need advice on Virgo woman dating Taurus man
I need some advice if I should stay with the man I am with or move on.
He is a Taurus and is 6 years older than myself. I am a Virgo. We are both born on the 11th of our b-day month.
I am just a very organized pro-active woman that strives always for more and to do better and realize I need to go after what I want.
He is very laid back and passive and sometimes I feel thinks things will just come naturally.
It has caused so much tension in our relationship. I handle the money and try to keep the house organized and he does not do anything with the house unless I give him a list or a reminder to do things. It is very frustrating.
I do love him as he is very caring and I do not fear him cheating on me.
He is always willing to forgive after a fight but we both have the stubborn gene where we can go for days without speaking... We are on three days for a fight that happened Mon. evening.
I just wish he strived for more when it comes to his job and doing what needs to be done to make things happen. I am college educated, he is not. He does not even have the desire to learn to use the computer. Its 2009...are you kidding me?
I just wonder if there is someone else out there that is better matched with someone such as myself then I fear that what if I do find someone else and he cheats or is Mr. Corporate America..(that is the other thing..my boyfriend is just your blue collar worker) and he is never home? Or he is so anal and orgainzed such as myself and that gets on my nerves..well..maybe not..haha.
I just need any type of advice anyone has to give.
Not sure if I should break up with him or try to figure this one out?
My ex hubby was a Virgo and he did a lot of organising...money and even did the shopping so that he could carefully budget...I didn't have a say at all. Although I am a Gemini I am on the cusp of Taurus...and I am laid back. I felt that things were so rigid and regimented in that relationship that I gave up fighting back and, rightly or wrongly, I took on the attitude that if he wants to do the weekly shop let him get on with it ! He also liked cooking and although I am a cook myself, he decided to take over the cooking on a daily basis. I am not saying that you are necessarily controlling, but does it really matter if he doesn't want to use the computer? As far as housework is concerned I think most men in the world, regardless of star sign, would need a nudge in the right direction on a daily basis! Look at his positive qualities - laidback,caring,loyal,forgiving,loving - what more could you want from a partner? Don't forget the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side..... My advice...buy him a small gift or something he'll appreciate, go home and give him a big hug, tell him you love him and say "sorry" (even if it isn't your fault) and have a night when you both concentrate on each other. Spending time together will help you decide if you really want a break in the relationship ...or whether you're going through a lull in your relationship that can be patched up. Best of luck.
Hi, You have to respect whatever station in life he is. Some people are happy with their station, so to speak. I have two Virgo friends (both male.) One is a musician and one is an artist. Both are unorganized as heck. But, when it comes to their skills, look-out! On the other hand, he has to respect you for what you bring to the relationship. I think you may be looking for greener pastures. Nothing that you have said has made my ears go up, so to speak. I think your ok.
The only part of what you said in your post that I can't get out of my head is how the two of you can go for days angry with eachother and not speak...That totally escapes me, but, I am a Gemini and if you know anything about that, then you know most of us can't shut up!!! Communication is one of the number one most important qualities in a love relationship.
Secondly, this man is who he is, why is he the one who should change, have you ever considered that you are the one who has gone forward and he has just stayed where he has always been from when you first met him. I had a girlfriend say to me one time, "I just don't understand why he can't put his dirty underware in the hamper instead of leaving them on the floor". So I asked her, "When you first were dating him where did he leave his underware?" Her reply, "On the floor of his apartment." Hello, he is who he is, and who he has always been. Why should he suddenly be the one who is "wrong" (I don't even beleive in wrong, unless it is accompanied by addiction, adultry, or abuse, the three A's I call them). Maybe you've outgrown this man, or a better way to say it is, maybe your priorities have changed and he no longer meet your needs as a life partner. Once you figure that out, you will know what to do, but, for goodness sakes stop these days on end not communicating, it's very, very, very, unhealthy, and can cause both of your minds to work and think overtime, which in turn takes the issue of the argument and twists it, and before you know it you don't even know why you were originally mad. I hope this helps.
This topic is nonsense. I m sure things have changed in between. This story is no longer true. Not to mention has never been completely true to begin with. You see sometimes people say things they do not mean. He is older, but much better looking then her. And he is no computer scientist but he has real aptitudes towards technology. He even taught himself how to type. His cooking is great.. Again this is not a story of greener pastures at all. It is a story of living in mediocrity or wanting more. They always got along well but there was never enough chemistry between them. They both had been more attracted to other people. Still they stayed together as best friends more than lovers. It is not a question of profession that is silly. Generally speaking I never liked corporate men because they show in every study as the biggest cheaters. They also have the most opportunities to cheat and indulge in such practice as a standard across the industry. They are always with friends after work at happy hour as an excuse to get home late. They tend to be good providers for their families and that is about it.
Going back to the story- as I said is outdated. But why is someone over-analyzing this? It is destiny that is going to decide in the end.
Virgo tends to do it all and they seem to be critical of others when they do things. He's probably gotten to the point of ..."Why bother"...It's not going to be good enough! I find taurus's lazy and they just want to be taken care of. You should move on to another relationship. You have so much more to offer someone else. Do you love him?
rnrchick thank you so much for your reply. I know I need to lay back on the controling aspect a lot because I can see, like you stated yourself, he is just taking it all and he may just break one day. I just hate having to hold his hand through so much. He owns five rental properties and I have to remind him over and over to get in the office and organize his paperwork and open mail. He just throws everything in the office?
After reading everyone else's comments, some are right on..maybe I have changed and want more and he has not and is content with what he has in his life. Again, he is going to be 36 in May. I will be 30 in Sep. I do love him, I just wish he were more pro-active. I feel like sometimes he is always looking for the next fun time rather than finding a way to make more money, but that is where we differ. He feels as long as his bills are paid, he is happy. However, he talks how he wants all the things and to live in a certain area..That can only be obtained by working hard or doing different what you are already doing now.
As far as High Priest's comments, you confused me by saying this story is no longer true and that he is better looking? With that being said, looks have nothing to do with the situation but we are both attractive looking people. Neither one of us would have a hard time finding someone else at all, its just finding someone that is right for us and that is where the confusion lets on..we are both great people, I just do not know if we are great together anymore.
It is a sad and hard thought too, thinking about moving on. We do live together and he had always asked me to not waste his time. He wants marriage and kids, I am thinking of starting a business in the next three years. I feel bad breaking it off because I just wasted four years of his life that he coudl have been looking for someone else. Now I feel bad if I end it as he is 36. However, I never forced him to stay. As everyone said above, I am who I am and he has known that since day one. He could have walked too. I always told him I was not ready for kids and will not be ready for some time. However, he has never left so either his love for the relationship or something else has kept him here just as myself. I guess I just have to believe it will all work out in the end as it shoudl be. I did go to a psychic and she saw a pic of us and stated we are not meant to be together. If we marry, we may divorce but then she said we could go along and get married and be fine but we are not meant to be. That was hard and sad to hear. However, another one told me to stay with him. We both have faults but he is a good man. Why must relationships be so hard? It seems everyone you see and know has it down fine and is 100% happy.
We set ourselves up for disappointment when we expect others to be and act like we do. And when nothing you do is ever good enough you just stop even bothering because what you do isn't appreciated for what it just is anyway.
To Advice, People come into your life for a "reason, season, or a lifetime. Either way we learn from them, the lessons we are here to learn. some lessons take longer than others, if children were discussed in the begining of the relationship, then he knows where you stand on the subject . as for the laziness (laid-back approach) well that could just be the person he is. Does he support your decisions? do you support his?! before you say good-bye or attempt to move on talk to him, communication is the key. try to understand him & yourself, take time to reflect on your past decisions, your present & future decisions, i found myself in your position when i too was in my 30s, could just be another change of life or learning experience. Be true to yourself & to him. My prayers are with you both.
P.S. I am a taurus married to an aries, & I am the one to do all the house chores, pay bills, etc., & yes I have three wonderful children, grown for the most part, & yes there are still days when I want to change the world or my piece of it, but I have always led with my heart to make those decisions.
BY THE BY, ANY RELATIONSHIP IS HARD, LIFE IS HARD, MARRIAGE IS EVEN HARDER, PEOPLE CHANGE EVERYDAY, EMOTIONS CHANGE ALL THE TIME, & NOBODY HAS IT DOWN FINE & IS 100% HAPPY. THAT BEING SAID, UNLESS THEIR MEDICATED, YOU MAY HAVE BEEN LOOKING WHEN THINGS WERE GOING WELL, & THEREFORE EVERYONE SEEMED HAPPY. OR IT COULD HAVE BEEN PART OF YOUR LESSON. MAYBE YOU WERE WEARING ROSE COLORED GLASSES. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT, DO YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF FINE?! IT MEANS; FREAKED, INSECURE, NEUROTIC, & EMOTIONAL!!! LOL, JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW.
People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime. When you know which one, you'll know why the person is there.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you everyone for your comments. This has all been so helpful and I wish I would have found this sooner. To answer some of the questions, yes, he does support me so much in wanting to start my own business. He jokes that we will have role reversal. I will be the working partner and he will be at home doing wash, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids.
I also own a rental property and anything I ask him to do there, which is a lot because my tenants always have some type of issue, he does it with no problem and never asks for anything in return.
I dont know, I guess maybe my gut is telling me someone else is out there for me but like someone said, do not think the grass is always greener on the other side. Just last night a friend of mine told me how her husband has been cheating on her and they have three kids, one a four month old. How sad. I may sound dumb but I do not have to worry about that with my partner.
I sometimes think we are just so opposite, how did we last that long but then I know, I am a controling person and he is so passive so it works. Most men would be like.... get away. and stop leaving me to do lists. He makes comments but he does do the items and even tells me...
"sometimes I know I need in little kick in the butt so thank you for what you do"