Help with my Scorpio "fiance" - A bit long, sorry!
Danaan last edited by
Would appreciate thoughts and insights. My BF of 2 years (Saturday is our anniversary) has always been up and down re: expressing love, affection, tenderness - it's made me crazy because I understood that, when in love, Scorpios made their woman feel like a queen, but that is only occasionally the case here.
Anyway, to cut a very long story short, he's been saying since April that he wants to marry me and about a month ago actually "proposed" (I want to be your husband & I want you for my wife). I of course said yes, and he said it wasn't "official" without a ring (which he didn't have yet, because we're trying to find something other than an expensive over-priced diamond) but we agreed that it was "real" and we were "betrothed" (such a quaint word). It's a 2nd marriage for both.
For about a week after that, he continued wonderful & loving - he's mentioned our plans to a few random people (the vet, the guy at the coffee shop, guys he works with, his brother). Then all of a sudden he starts questioning why I need a ring, since he isn't interested, himself, in all that '"fluff" and really just wants us to be married. Ultimately, though, he says we'll go & pick something out together, and in fact walked me past a jewellery counter in a discount store the other day to look at rings (though he said these were "too cheap"!). Regardless, he's been in a very cool, distant, unaffectionate mood (I hear him call the cat "my Sweetheart" but almost never do I get similar treatment these days), and it's killing me wondering what's wrong.
Our big challenge is that we currently live 1 hour apart - there are a variety of family logistics that make figuring out where we could live together difficult, not least of which is that I have a school-age child with whom I share custody 50/50 with his dad, and our current agreement is that we live in the same general area. The problem is that my BF (fiance?) has stated unilaterally that he won't move to my location because it would add significantly to his commute and sort of suggested that I'm making him out to be the bad guy because he's the one holding things up by this attitude (but I've never said or intimated that. Meanwhile, he expects me to come up with a solution, but said the following "If it" (not sure what "it" is) "means that I have to move to (your area) then it's not gonna happen". I'm sort of guessing that this issue has been on his mind and it's part of the reason for his less-than-loving mood (there are other unrelated things, too, like work) but I'm hurt that he's blaming me, unfairly, for what I gather are feelings of guilt on his end. Also, it bothers me more than a little that he seems to expect me to rearrange my entire infrastructure (which is also my son's) to move somewhere that suits him when he has nothing holding him back except his own choice (no kids, etc.).
Moreover, as I mentioned, our second anniversary is on Saturday. Where I expected this to be a very happy time, since we're looking at a definite future together, he seems disinterested or indifferent...could it be because of this issue? But why be cold and distant to me because of a set of circumstances he's known about from the beginning? I'm at a loss, and feeling very disheartened. He's a Scorpio (Oct 28/52) and I'm a Taurus (April 25/68).
tooralooryeaye last edited by
Hm...I wish I had more to offer than this, but I do have a very good friend who is Scorpio, and my mother's husband is also a Scorpio. They both do similar things--seemingly retreat. All I can say is from my experience with them, it's not what it seems, but I could be wrong. I've never been romantically involved with one, but I do know that my mother has similar issues with her husband--she feels he is distant or apathetic at times--and I know (being their daughter, they both tell me things that it's not true. Same with my Scorp friend--he often confesses his "girl trouble" to me, and it seems that when he backs off, it's the opposite of what it looks like to the girl. He falls hard for them and is very committed.
I think the stubbornness about relocating is unfortunately true, and not likely to change. I suppose his emotional distance could possibly have to do with the moving issue--he's your partner--but you both know the score.
Have you brought it up to him at all? I'm sure this isn't much help, but I thought you'd like to know someone's reading