Understanding My Reading
I got divorced a year ago. It was not a good marriage; I knew the first week it would end and it did after 4 years. It ended a mess; but I cleaned it up, and have my 'house clean'. My finances are back on track, my career is wonderful, my kids (late teens, early twenties) are thriving.
I like being married. I like loving. I like house and home and comfortable companionship. I'm 50, not bad looking, but not 30. There's someone I'm interested in through work. I've met him once and talked on the phone about 4 times. Because of the nature of our work (he's at a different organization), I know a LOT about him. I know he likes me, he remembered little things from phone calls, suggested twice about getting together for something non work related (but not when), we laughed, he shared some personal stuff. However, I can do something for him professionally he wants, and I wonder if I'm being schmoozed a bit. On the other hand, he makes more money and is ranked higher than me and I can definitely benefit from association with him too--but that's not my interest in him. Our backgrounds are unusual in a similar way.
He filed for his divorce about 2 months before I split from my ex and divorced about 6 weeks before I did.
Yesterday, I had a meeting with another single man at work, whom I liked and also with whom I had a lot in common. He enjoyed the meeting too. But altho we work in the same organization, I probably won't cross paths with him again for a while, maybe years.
Finally, a colleague told me she did some follow up work one a project I had with someone about a year ago. I bearly remembered him, but he remembered me, and told her enthusiastically how much he liked me, and remembered a bunch of stuff about me that someone just professional or not interested would remember. Unfortunately he never followed up on that interest, and lives/works about 100 miles away, and I probably won't cross paths with him either.
So that's the background.
Earlier this week, I cast a spread on the question of whether the first man was going become an important part of my love life. The spread just made sense. It fit, I understood it...and the future card was the Nine of Cups, seemingly I'll get my wish.
Today I cast another tarot spread under the question: "What will be my love life over the next 12 months?"
Card 1: Queen of cups. Me. It makes sense. It's also the no. 1 card in the spread earlier in the week.
Card 2: Eight of swords. Spooky. The same as before. I interpret it as meaning, I don't know what to do or expect or even if it's a fantasy or based on something. And that would be apt.
Card 3: 3 of Swords. It makes sense. I was terribly betrayed by my last husband. It might make me suspicious or hesitant or somehow weird. I have done a lot of therapy and soul searching, but still, the betrayal was horribly traumatic and maybe this card is reminding me of it and to be aware of it's continued influence. Last time this card was the reversed 5 of cups. Sort of the same theme.
Card 4: Four of Wands. This makes sense in a way. I come from a background of people who have good stable supportive loving marriages--and then I married two alcoholics. Therapy has helped, but still it's been discouraging.
Card 5: Nine of Cups. The wish card for my recent past? I don't know how to look at this. If the influence is fading, then I'm not going to get my wish for a healthy strong loving relationship? And I haven't gotten any wish in the recent past. I just concluded a nasty divorce that threw my life into chaos, and I've recently slowly put everything sort of back into order. To get back where I was before my ex, I still have a way to go--but I'll get there. I don't understand why this card is here.
Card 6: The Hermit. I get this card a lot, and I understand it. Take time, look for the truth, withdraw a bit. I enjoy those things, I'm an introvert and rather bookish. I'm comfortable with this card.
Card 7: High Priestess. Following the Hermit it seems to emphasize the search for the truth, but to incorporate intuition as well. Would that be right? But why in the near future? Does it mean maybe there will be romantic challenges ahead, and use intuition or trust myself or something to prepare?
Card 8: Five of Wands. I interpret this as struggle. But am I struggling with myself? About what? Or is it competition? Frankly, I have no interest in competition and will just drop out of the contest. I don't know if the person I'm interested in has other romantic interests. He's only been divorced 8 months, but separated over a year. He works in an industry that would have some attractive women, but he's also in the awkward position of being 'boss' to them. His last wife he worked with and that didn't work out obviously, but she was 11 years younger (I'm 2 years younger than he). I get this card a lot in my spreads, and frankly I am tired of it.
Card 9: Justice. Does this represent him? If so, what does that mean? Or is 'Justice' my friend? If so, then I do deserve a good healthy loving relationship. But I deserved it in my last marriage too. I get Justice a lot in my spreads in different places.
Card 10: Knight of Coins. I haven't a clue of what to make of this.
Card 11: Death. From the 9 of Cups to Death.
I'm a newbie. Does anyone have any insight or advice?
I just cast a spread on the question: "Who is M in relationship to me?"
Card 1: FIve of cups. Makes sense, he was divorced 8 months ago, and even though he filed for the divorce over a year ago and thus wanted it, it is still sad to lose a marriage, that things didn't turn out as hoped.
Card 2: The Hermit. He's taking time off. Reevaluating. Or at least that's what the cards say.
Card 3: Page of Swords. ?
Card 4: 4 of Coins. Because of our work together I have odd pieces of information about him. I don't know what he makes (but can guess it's about $150,000 because fo the company and position); I know he has paid off his house and has an expensive Mercedes and motorcycle. I think he is a financially conservative man (I understand because I am the same). I also know that in his career path he was until about 7 years ago very underpaid (a rather unusual job, highly skilled and interesting, but not well paid).
Card 5: Ten of Coins. ?
Card 6: Knight of Cups. I sort of read this as 'the Knight in Shining Armor', and he's facing the future card. Maybe this means he's ready and willing to venture out into a relationship again?
Card 7: Six of cups. Nostalgia. The past comes into the near future? A person from his past? Or ...?
Card 8: Justice.
Card 9: Two of Wands.
Card 10: Ace of Swords. A new idea (me?), a new victory, a new inspiration?
Card 11: Death. Same as my card. Does this mean no chance at romance whatever else comes before? Or does it mean a transition into a new life? Death of our old, dissatisfying partnership lives?
I'm still too new at this to put all the pieces together and see the deeper meanings. I'm still at the stage where I just see the surface of the cards and the simpliest meanings, and can't relate them to one another.
Kind of strange we both had the Death card in position 11.