Need Advice?!?



  • I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years. One night after work, I went out with some friends. When I woke up, there was a man I didn't know on top of me having relations with me. I kicked him off and when I realized I didnt know where I was, I tried to leave but my car wasn't there. They had stolen and wrecked it sometime during the night. Now, I am 7 months pregnant and facing trial for lying about my car being stolen while that person is free and clear and already out of jail. That's not the worst thing. I was then faced with telling my boyfriend that I was pregnant, not sure if it was his or the other mans. I not even sure that he believes me and he probably just thinks I cheated on him and don't want to admit it. Every since then, he has totally pulled away from me. We are no longer intimate beside a good morning and good night kiss. He has even gone as far as telling me he's not sure if he can raise another mans' kid. I told him I had considered abortion - which I am totally against - but couldn't live with the fact that I could've been killing a child we made together. I had to sell my new car to get something 4 door and he's hesitant to help me get another one because he's not sure what's going to happen with us. What do I do? I completely understand how he feels, but I feel totally alone and unloved. Everytime she moves, I keep it to myself. Not to mention he doesn't ask about the baby, go to appointments or show any interest in getting ready for her. I told him either way, if he loves me, it shouldn't matter, and that if she does turn out to be his, he will regret not being involved. Besides the rape, it wouldn't be any different than dating a girl with a child. Yeah if she isn't she will be a constant reminder of my tragedy, but it's not her fault and he shouldnt make her feel less loved or pay for the rapists actions.. . . .



  • Wow, this even has me almost speechless, well, I have to say one thing, I am amazed you are even upright. If this had happened to me I'm not sure I could sound as confident as you do as to which road to take. I feel that you really have a lot of love for your unborn baby girl, and that's a good thing. On the other hand, the disconnect from you boyfriend is a bad thing. How could he possibly not beleive you were raped. If I had been raped and my husband doubted the truth, I would be crushed and not sure I could stay with him. You are a victim of a violent crime, luckily, you will have a beautiful baby girl, a postiive outcome from an unfortunate circumstance. I think you need to think long and hard about if this man is who you want to spend the rest of your life with, no less, raise a child. In my opinion, he's cold, and has no empathy.

    Now after saying all that, why would he doubt what your telling him. Did something happen in the past you were dishonest about?



  • What a difficult situation. I admire you for keeping your baby - it sounds as though you're almost sure it is your boyfriend's. I think that your boyfriend could be in a state of shock or, as myviewpoint has said, has there been something in the past that has triggered his disbelief? However, he is still with you. He hasn't walked out and abandoned you...so there is hope that he doesn't entirely disbelieve you. Look after yourself and your baby girl as much as possible and try not to get stressed out (hard to do when so much is going on,I know) Also, your hormones are playing havoc - you're heavily pregnant, its not surprising. Ask your fella for a cuddle. Just out of the blue. Tell him you need TLC. He probably needs a cuddle too. Wishing you the best of luck.


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