Confused Pisces woman with Cancer man. What do I do?
My boyfriend is a cancer. Do you think he'll reach out or should I count this as a loss?
My boyfriend and I had a big fight. He did something that really hurt my feelings. I wouldn't talk to him for a few days, and then when i tried to reach out by text he ignored me. I got angry and told him that if he couldn't be considerate of my feelings then I was done and good luck in life. Then the day after he called me. I didnt answer because I really didnt want to talk to him. He left a message basically saying he didnt appreciate me not answering. I sent him a text saying that he really hurt me and I didnt really want to talk to him right now. I said I would later, but that I needed some time. After thinking it over I decided to send him a text the next morning asking if he was available Thurs to talk because thats when I have free time. I want to do it face to face. He said he didnt know because he was kind of turned off. I responded "Im not gonna worry about it then. You can hit me up when ur ready." His response made me SOOOO angry! I dont plan on reaching out to him because at this point im turned off too. If he reaches out i'll talk to him because I dont want to keep this going. I want it resolved. But at the same time im tired of his attitude. He gets angry when I get angry at him. Its not fair. I just want to know what to expect. Any answers are welcome but maybe you other cancers out there can give me "special" insight about whats goin on in his head.
piscestam, it's true that Cancers can be confusing and send mixed signals. (I am a Cancer, but try to avoid doing that--I still do sometimes though). If he thinks that you are planning to break up with him, as a Cancer he will resist however possible, retreating into his shell and seeming to bury his head in the sand, to avoid and try to prevent it happening.
What did you fight over? Were you both angry, or did one of you become angry after the other? If he was seriously hurt, he will try to hide it by becoming angry, unresponsive, and/or withdrawing--even if the argument was his fault! All Cancers are very sensitive (like Pisces), but Cancer guys especially try to hide this when they're hurt.
If you do plan on breaking up with him, don't send him texts that could hurt his feelings. Insist--kindly--that you need to speak to him in person; it's very important. Ask when he is available and try to accomodate.
If you wish to resolve things, again, be extra tactful and considerate. Apologize for your part of the argument (and don't accuse him just then) , and tell him you wish the two of you hadn't fought and that you're willing to work it out. From there, know you've done all you could and that it is up to him. I have a feeling he'll respond. Good luck, and best wishes!
I got some great advice on my situation from some wonderful people on this site.
Is there a chance you can peek at my thread and tell me what you think.
"Cancer man......what do I do"
I am Pisces woman and was dating a Cancerian man. Its been a month since I last heard from him and he only sent me one text. He said apologize for not communicating, no excuses, will need to visit when I get back, that was 8/25/10, he got back a few days later but did not call me.
When a Cancerian man says he wants no commitment does he mean what he says?
We never had any fights in the months we were together.
In your opinion, what can happen in this situation.
Will I ever know from him why he retreated?
If you can tell me what you think, I would appreciate it.
the more information I have been getting the better the healing for me.
My cancer guy called me. When I brought up the question I wanted to know the answer to he FREAKED out. He got really defensive and started cursing and saying my question was stupid and that it was "whack" and that I was just trying to get cool points and look good for other people...omg. It was horrible. I couldnt believe he would talk to me that way. It hurt so bad! It was so bad that I told him to forget the whole damn thing and hung up in his face. I then texted him and said I would never ever forgive him for talking to me like that, our relationship was over, that he was a liar from the beginning, that he was turning into a mean and bitter person and if he didnt get his life together he was gonna end up with no one because he keeps pushing away the people he loves. I told him to lose my number because I was erasing him from my life. He called me about an hour after that, and I ignored his call and texted him to leave me alone. I know he's been having some stresses lately, and I think that may have something to do with how he reacted to me because he has NEVER spoken to me like that before, but i feel that its no excuse for treating someone you say you love in that way. He was very disrespectful of my feelings. Very. I feel like I should keep him out of my life. At least until he apologizes and even then it will take a while for me to trust him again. I just dont want to talk to him and I think even if I dont, if he's sincere he'll find a way to apologize. I just dont know what to think anymore.
It seems as though as perfect a match that Cancer and Pisces are...Cancer men really seem to behave the same to their Pisces women. My story is a bit different but similar in a lot of ways. I am sorry to hear all the drama u are going thru...Stick to your guns and he'll come around they always do...except for mine. Sigh. You are in my prayers.
its been three days of not talking to my cancer guy so last night i sent him a text saying i didnt hate him, that i could never hate him (because i said i did when he cursed at me), and that i wanted to make sure he knew that because its been bothering me ever since i said it. he didnt respond so...we'll see what happens. im not gonna press the issue any further or reach out anymore. im gonna let him do it in his own time and if he doesnt then so be it.
piscestam, I'm just wondering, what did you ask him?
It's true that anyone can become very negative when stressed, but that is no excuse to take it out on loved ones. I think some space between you and your Cancer is a good idea right now. It will give you time to consider the situation. You may miss each other very much, or decide you are both better off without each other. It's good you apologized; now I feel it would be a good idea, as NeptunesDaughter said, to wait for "him to come around". I would advise not reaching out to him again before then. Good luck!
he had posted the most touching status about me on his FB page. It was up there a few days and then he deleted it completely. He didnt delete anything else but that. So I asked him to call me. He called me back, and when I asked,he flipped out and got all defensive. That makes me believe he didnt have a good reason to. His friends prob teased him about it and he got embarrassed and took it off which of course he cant tell me. It just doesnt make sense. the whole reason for the argument is really silly. I never wouldve expected him to react like that simply because its not a serious question. All i actually said was "why did u delete that FB status u wrote about me?" and he FLIPPED. You would think I was dealing with a teenager. We're both 29 years old!
I really appreciate the advice of everyone. Its helping me get through this. I def wont reach out to him again. Its on him now. We'll see what happens.
so...i think its finally over for good. i just dont know. i decided to try to bury the hatchet and call a truce because i just didnt want any bad blood between us. i didnt want to see him at family functions etc...and it be uncomfortable. i called him and he picked up the phone which he normally doesnt do if hes mad. i actually wasnt expecting him to. we started having a small little tiff, no yelling or anything but basically an argument. i was saying i just want to be cool blah blah and he kept trying to talk about what i did that bothered him etc...then he said he would call me back cause he was driving. he didnt call me back. i sent him a text saying he could come over my house the next night to talk things out. i hate having conflicts over the phone. he didnt respond. i called him the next day and he picked up the phone again. i said are u coming over? he said no really coldly. i said why? he said he just didnt want to. i said we dont have to go into my room we can just sit in the living room and talk. i think hes scared to face me at my house because we always end up having sex and i think he likes being upset for some strange reason. its like hes not ready to be over it yet. but sex with him is the FARTHEST thing on my mind. i just want the drama to be over. its emotionally draining. so he goes we can talk somewhere else but im not coming there. just respect the fact that i dont want to come over. i was like fine but we can still talk? and then he says i dont know. why dont u call me back some other time. just really cold and with so much attitude. so i was like ok and hung up. his attitude kinda caught me off guard. but a few minutes went by and i started thinking about stuff and i decided i wasnt playing his dumb games anymore. i called him back. i was in tears and i regret calling him while i was crying but i was being an impulsive pisces. he didnt pick up so i left a message saying i would NOT be calling him back. i was tired of him acting like everything was my fault.that it wasnt right and he knows it. we BOTH let our emotions get the best of us and that if he ever wanted to talk he would have to be the one to do the reaching out. then i said goodbye and hung up. im soooo fed up with this stuff. i dont know if he'll come back. he's come back in the past but this was the worse fight we've ever had. he has a moon in aquarius so i dont know if that will have a bearing on what happens. but i know one thing, i will NOT be contacting him. he was just so cold and it turned me off so badly. i have forgiven him for so many things and he acts like this when i stick up for myself? i dont know if i even want him to come back. we can be cool but it'll be a cold day in hell before i call him a friend again. i dont trust him with my heart and once my trust is gone, then good luck getting it back. i just dont feel in my heart that its over u know? i dont have that feeling of closure. i usually can tell when something is just done, but i dont have that feeling yet and im so confused! but im not backing down. if he wants to be my friend again hes gonna have to prove it for a long time. im so drained....i need input on the situation. reasurrance maybe that i did the right thing? HELP! lol
I hear you. CLOSURE??????
Being a pisces too, I know exactly how you feel.
When our hearts are broken, we don't do well.
When my husband left me with no explanation, wouldn't even speak to me, it was so devasting, and that was after being 25 yrs together, I suffered waiting for some type of closure. Time was my only healer.
It took him 3 yrs to finally tell me why he left me and why he went into another womans arms.....
3 YEARS!! I guess I got my closure.
With this cancer guy, I aint waiting around 3 yrs to hear his reasoning, although intuition tells me commitment phobia.
Just ask yourself, is this the relationship you really want? He is emotionally draining you.
We can all give you advice, but its up to you if you want to stick around and wait for that closure.
I don't think its over for you, but really give your situation some thought. Relationships are not perfect but they shouldn't be hard either.
Hope things work out for you
Me, being in a similar boat. I think you did the right thing... try to move forward. I know it is going to be harder done than said. I am dying inside because I still love my Cancer. He has lied, kept secrets, says he loves me as his best friend (after almost 4 yrs) tells me he loved me for so long...like he is saying it is someone elses turn since I havent the money to move there yet. Tells me I am his best friend and he is not ready to let me go and yet does this uber silent thing when I tell him about various guys being interested in me....I am going out of my way to show him that on the outside I am okay with him choosing someone else, that I can still be his friend...and I can't deep down inside it is killing me and I dont want to deal with it...all I want to do is cry. so I don't call him that often anymore, I barely text him...so much so he thinks I am mad at him. I am reverting to a stage in my life where I had walls up to protect my heart. He has even noticed the way I talk to him. It is ridiculous to think I am supposed to speak and act the same way...I cant and I wont. He doesn't want me as a girlfriend anymore...even after I stood by him through so much bull stuff...he knows...I can't do this anymore but I don't have the words to tell him I can not do this anymore...so I am slowly backing up. I was always there for him and he expects me to continue to be there for him in the same aspect but I feel akward...why am I still talking to him and doing things like before? He has a married girlfriend...and he wants what he can not have...he could of had me. ..he almost did. If your Cancer wants you...he come around but remain strong my Pisces sister...dont make it easy for him. Cancers have no problem breaking hearts...the sad thing is ....I dont want anyone else. Sigh. Stay strong...you did what you felt was right for you.
thank u both for those comments. are ur right. i need to just let it go and whatever happens, happens. i need to keep myself busy and try not to think about it but u know how us pisces are. stuff just brews in our heads over and over and over. but i think one good quality we have is that once we've had enough, then thats IT! and thats the problem im having. i know i deserve better and i know he's not good enough to deserve my friendship, but its that feeling of having had enough thats just not there yet. im asking myself what more do i have to go through in order to have had enough? its kinda scaring me. im just gonna stay away. im not gonna contact him and honestly after our last convo i really have no desire. it almost disgusts me. but in about a week i'll feel sentimental and all that mushy stuff and i'll downplay the situation in my mind and want to reach out to him. THATS when im gonna need to be strong. if i feel myself slipping im gonna come back in this forum and ask for some more encouragement. u guys are great
I understand that feeling completely too, where i would start getting all mushy again and want to reach out to him, but I DON'T and WON'T. Its not easy either.
My biggest belief is when a guy really loves you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you.
Some guys are just not relationship material or not ready for a relationship.
Us Pisces really hurt when love goes wrong, nothing worse, but we do eventually rise up and get on with it. You do have to go through the pity party....why me.............thats normal.
I agree with Neptunesdaughter, "if he wants you he will come around", don't sit around waiting for him, that makes it worse.
Really try hard to keep yourself busy, take your focus off him, think about what will make you happy.
It helps to write letters to him, saying how you feel, but don't send them to him.
Chin up girl, stay strong!
Can someone help me here..Im a scorpio male and met an attractive cancer female at walmart..we were attarcted so I gave her my card and she called me 2 days later..we talked several times ocer the phone and connected deeply...she opened up about some troubled issues with her family and we really talked...we kept texting a little for over a week or so and finally met to watch a soprts game at a local bar...we had fun watching the game and we were touching each other casually but no kisses...we left and walked each other to our cars...she said follow me out and we left...she spent this weekend with her Mom and sisters and I texted her a few times with no response...I finally texted and said are you ok?I'm worried about you...she texted and said she just wanted to be friends...so I texted a few more times assuring her that I liked her personality and thought she was beautiful..she did mention that she seemd jealous of blondes with big boobs...anyway, she then said''dont waste your time, your not my type"...any idea?
I'm sorry to interject with nothing helpful to say, but I just want to quickly say hi to Piscesstar. Miss you girl and hope you are well!?