Job Advice

  • Looking for some future hmmmm reading I guess on work.

    I have 2 PT jobs, both have flexible hours, both can be demanding, both have peaks and lulls (usually they peak at the same time). I started them both last October, and one of them actually has two components, so it's like 3 jobs (plus my own business).

    My personal problem is that I allowed a relationship to affect Job #2 more than I should have, longer than I should have, for the first time in my life. You'd think I was in high school with the way my emotions overran me. I am healing now, feel much better, but way slower than it should have happened (it's been since April 😞 ) and I am deeply ashamed at how I reacted. But I can't change the past.

    Job #1: I unfortunately allowed this guy to walk all over me last winter, thinking I was being a good employee. When things got out of hand, I put my foot down and found out he is very black and white so now he is afraid to contact me as much as he used to. Communication with him is not well, ie I did not go to him Monday due to the holiday (he did not return my call last Friday when I would have discussed an alternate with him). I got a semi-sarcastic vm Tuesday, called and he did not return that. Tomorrow is Friday and I will either get a desperate call then or a "talking too" Monday. In reality he should have called me Friday or at worst on Tuesday. We have a standing agreement of a phone conf Thurs mornings which he never did today either. It seems no matter what I do, I cannot organize this mans work but I do try my best to do my job and do it well. I just cannot be at his beck and call 24/7 unless he pays me accordingly (he pays me hourly). Now he probably assumes my r/s issues affected the job entirely, however I was trying to work things out and figure his personality out a full month before my own personal implosion. I essentially work for this one person. His previous employee confirmed my issues, gave me advice on setting boundaries and said he'd never go back to work for him again.

    Job #2: Very demanding, very exacting detailed work - something I actually enjoy and do well with. Unfortunately the job itself completely triggered my emotions WRT my r/s, and the job got busy at the same time the r/s disappeared with no warning. I was a MESS! I have 2 duties with this company. And I am very much in the public eye, I would keep my emotions in check while at an event and lose it in my hotel room (or in the dark while setting up alone)

    Woman I work with most closely for Duty #1..... "A" ..... I have noticed and has been confirmed by others that she is VERY quick to point a finger and place blame (literally with the finger out in a meeting). Yes I made mistakes with some events, never the same mistake twice. "A" created this job, no way could I do everything perfect right off. She backed me up until early August, ironically when I was actually starting to feel normal. She took on another job when we were to share this event and left me on my own. In an effort to get a report out to her quickly during her break, I made a mistake sorting (MY fault, no excuse), it got sent out twice, she went right to the boss ("B"). Who is a very hard lady to work for but you always know where you stand. I understand the ramifications of the error (it was not worth being fired over though). I also understand "A" was really stressed with the job she took for that week and she overreacted. I ALSO discovered an error with posted times in the event and made the arrangements to get the key people there at the correct time. "A" made the error, I took care of it. (another employee made sure "B" knew I caught it).

    After that event I was sent an email from "B" who commented on my error as a comment "as I would no longer be doing those duties". I was confused as we had discussed pulling me off Duty #1 the week before but only until mid-Oct. I called "A" and was only told that "we work differently". OK so she's not in my corner anymore.

    2 wks later "A" made a similar mistake and covered it up so the boss wouldn't find out. There have been 3-4 other issues where she has made mistakes since then, just yesterday she sent out an email with my phone and someone else's name, she forgot to put his phone down. Again, I handle the calls, don't say anything. I feel like saying something at this point just makes me look bad.

    Because I have two duties with this company and they do overlap each other, I have had a difficult time juggling it at times. ie I start at one position, finish, run over, set up the other and keep that going. Basically I need to be in two places at once, very difficult. No one has done this second position yet so we are learning. (this would be true even if my emotions were 100%)

    Right now I am on duty #2 exclusively till mid-October. I have decided I will excel at this and revisit Duty #1 for our last two events. The 3rd person in our team ("T") is all for me staying on in that capacity. He told me that he was given a full year of hand holding before being set free, while I was helped for ONE event and set free on some really high profile ones (some of which did go very well). "A" was coincidentally on vaca twice and another job once during three huge events I did with no help. "T" is willing to go to the boss to talk to her but I've told him I want to get through mid-Oct first.

    Now "A" is stressed with our biggest event just weeks away. She has been in tears more than once. Yesterday I told her that when I have most of my stuff ordered for Duty #2, I should have a lull and can THEN help her if she wants. Imagine that, she found something for me to do within the hour, and it's not an easy task (I will not touch it yet though). She now says it's up to "B" if I can have those responsibilities back later. I did tell her of some of the things I learned (i was not backdating my calendar enough to keep up with the demand). Basically she is telling me it was "B"'s decision, not hers, when I know she could have backed me and it would have been fine. So again I said, let's get through this event, perhaps "B" seeing that you trust me to help will give her some more confidence and we will go from there.

    So.... I did not intend to write a novel but there ya go.

    I cannot change the past and I would not be surprised if there is an element of trust lost in me from the big boss. I am sure that is the case. They really have two options, they can try me again, or they can start over with someone new, which means they will lose the year they have invested in me.

    This has truly never happened to me before but there is no way I can make them believe that (although some of them knew me during my divorce and I wasn't that bad). There is also no way I can make them believe it will not happen again, if in a r/s. They will probably always be on pins and needles wondering if I'd whig out if it fails. I can't fix that.

    But my big question is, am I on the right path to KEEPING both these jobs and hopefully reclaiming Duty #1 of the double job. While I will not get rich off any of them, I do enjoy them and there is an element of growth plus they give me the freedom in hours that I so crave (flex hours in a big way)

    Any thoughts and advice will be greatly appreciated. I felt lucky to land both of these when I got laid off last year and would really hate to lose either of them.

    If you need to know bdays of any of the players I can probably get those for you.

    Mine is Mr 18, 1965

    Thanks so much and sorry for the length!


Log in to reply