Relationship advice?

  • Alright, so this may be cheesy me asking for advice, but I figured I may as well throw my situation out there, and see what came out of it.

    I'm young (20), Leo, and a very passionate person. My counterpart is quite a bit older (42) and a Sag. He recently ended a longterm relationship ( 6 years, about 7 months ago), and we started seeing each other.

    We made it very clear to each other from the beginning tha tneither of us is "relationship material", though the age difference doesn't bother us, nor our friends or family. We get a long great, share a lot of the same viewpoints, and a lot of our mutual friends have been continuously asking if we are, or when we intend to actually make it official and become an "item".

    He is by far the sweetest man that I've ever spent time with. He remembers all of my favorite things, and says just the right things at just the right time, and shows a carefully and perfectly measured amount of concern when I'm in tough times.

    In our five months spent together, we've grown pretty close, to the point where I find it difficult not to profess some sort of love to him. I don't want to ruin what we have by stating anything so blatently, but I want him to know that my feelings are there.

    Should I even bother to express myself ( as you know Leo's tend to enjoy a great deal!) or should I keep this little secret to myself and just wait it out, so as not to rock the boat?

  • Hi, A friend at work was telling me the same thing yesterday that she broke-up w/her boyfriend because he wouldn't tell her that he loved her. Started dating someone else and now is back together w/the old one because he finally told her. If ya'll spend a lot of time together than probably so. I don't know what his circumstance is but you can't stop being yourself. Might want to ask yourself first, is he reliable, honest, fun to be around etc.

  • Telling someone you love them is not necessarily frightening, it could mean many things, I love the way you treat me, I love the way you treat others, I love the fact that you always know what to say at the right times, I love our relationship exactly the way it is. You can say "I Love You" just be specific about what you love. You'll feel better and he won't be threatened.

    I hope this helps...

  • Ok mana I would tell you don't jump or leap into this right now. You just maybe the rebound person he is seeing right now. Anything could happen and if its a rebound I will tell you from experience they don't seem to be a lasting relationship. I wouldn't want to see anyone hurt. So enjoy it for what it is right now. He was in the last one a long time so he may want to sew a few seeds before getting into another one. Or he could get back with the long term one again. Protect your own feelings.

  • Hi Mana! As far as I understand it, you're falling in love with your male friend. You are not an item but are close. Has he asked you out yet? Has he wined and dined you? Why not ask him out on a date? But be subtle. Don't mention that you love could say, as myviewpoint said, that you love the way he remembers your favourite things,for example. Flirt with him. If he favourably responds to your flirting and you become an item then you can quite safely tell him you love him mid clinch. Beware though, I have a male friend who I became close to after both of our marriages split up....we were great friends,shared interests,the air was electric when we got together, like you people wondered when we would become an item, it was a purely plutonic relationship but as I say the air was very static and my mind went into overdrive as I thought of my future with him....I casually mentioned I was falling for him and he looked at me like a startled rabbit and I managed to cover up my embarrassment somehow.! So, mana, you're at a want a relationship ...find out if after 5 months he does too...and if he doesn't then at least you've got a good friendship that you can treasure and you can find someone who really can set your heart on fire which is no less than what you deserve! At 20 you have your whole life in front of you - grab it with both hands and live it!

  • Well, it's been five months now, and you both seem pretty happy. I think you're past the 'rebound' stage. If you're feeling it, and you want to explore the options of being more that just 'casual', then I don't see a reason not to bridge the subject. Just be subtle about it. Don't present it as if it can't stay the way it is. But ask him if he still feels the same way about it as he did five months ago. If you are feeling more now than you did at the beginning and want to know how he feels about it, I would have a conversation about it. Try not to have 'expectations' on the outcome though. Meaning if he wants to keep it the way that it has been, try not to be dissapointed about that. Personally, I like people to know how I'm feeling, so I tell them. Likewise, I like to know how my partners are feeling, so I ask them. It works well enough for me.

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