STEPPING DOWN AND FORWARDS
My dear friends on Tarot,
It’s my time to leave.
The reason for me coming to this forum has become clear to me during the process I have been on here. I learned a great deal about myself and events around me. I have learned about energies good and bad ones. I learned about truth and lies. I have learned to be me no matter what. I didn’t come to be liked or adored or to get my ego struck. I have learned the fragility of the mental state of a person and the strength of their hearts. I have seen beautiful people and I have seen some serious ugly ones. Am I gifted? To an extent yes. Am I developing it? No. Not at this time and I have my reasons for it. But to keep it short: I have come to loath the assumed position some have taken to “practice” their craft. I have been around here because I was needed. And at the moment the circle decided to close itself so there is no more work for me to do for now. There is one crack....yet it’s not my place to seal it if it doesn’t want to.
I have chosen not to give the instant answer to needy questions I have chosen to teach a group of people to go through the motion of their daily struggles and especially their love lives. I have chosen not to be clear all the time and to let them learn to discover and resolve issues them self. I was mere a steering rod. I am not perfect...I choose not to be.
What I am trying to say is...all we do...is a matter of choice and a strong believes in you. That is what makes you a whole and beautiful person. Not the affirmation or confirmation of another individual to “solve” whatever is bugging you. Not the laziness to be accessing self proclaimed gifted people who sit in the comfort of wherever and take the pleasure of kicking you when you’re down. I don’t know...well I do know. But what is the use.
When I came on the board as many I came to satisfy my curiosity on many levels. I chose the easiest one to talk about namely relationships. I was tempted to ask for a love reading as many. Yet I got my answer in an interesting way and that was I didn’t get a reading. When offered by someone who knew a truly gifted reader (who no longer posts here) I declined. I chose to ride my “adventure” out whatever the outcome. I learned to trust my own judgement and not to have everything chew out for me.
In the process I have met some beautiful souls. And I have truly connected with a few. This is a big deal because I am a loner in general. Who can be funny, loony, serious and caring. To an extent I find it’s a shame you can’t really connect on Tarot by personal info without others finding it’s their given right to take your information for them while you would want one person to have it.
So StarsandScars (my twisted sister)... you and I have that private island with all those delicious edible vipers and tongs so I know we will see each other there...after you send me that private jet!!!! LOL. Big hug girl...always connected.
The Captain...I liked very much when you came aboard. Fresh wind from down under. Don’t wear yourself to tin around here. You need to take care of you. Always remember that. Sharing is good but no use if you aren’t okay. Take care party girl.
Leoscorpion....we weren’t sure about each other in the beginning but we got to understand each other...lol. I wish you all the best now after your re-birth and please stay focussed. And keep an eye on my twisted sis so I can be sure of getting on that jet....lol
Highpriestess....a slow start between us two but always admired. For you the same... take good care of yourself. You’re much appreciated for all the knowledge and warmth you spread.
LibrasLair....it isn’t really goodbye right? LOL. You know where to find me with my crazy self.
Thmilin....I know you don’t post no more but just in case you are still reading a million thank you from my side for every second of your time and knowledge. Much, much appreciated lady.
My extended “family” here on Tarot initiated in the cheating Scorpio thread and the centre of ASCLAC.
No real goodbye because we still have that vacation planned. I will be joining so don’t worry about me disappearing all together. LOL
I have had a good time here on the forum, the hunts and the many conversations. I wish you all lot of personal growth and wisdom for your future. And appreciate the true light workers.
May good luck and everyone's love follow you, wherever life leads you.I'll catch up with you at the Temple, or on SS's Private Island.
Peace and love to you
Good morning I got the news this morning myself that Flowsco is stepping down. I don't always think to check on tarot everyday but I will try to be more mindful now. We all find that the time has come sooner or later. I will check All Things Libra to see if any of you are looking for Flowsco.
Hi Flow. I was not certain where to post here or on ASCLAC. I am going to put on my fake facebook only for today with an email on it. I am "friends" with katie, Lua & Kel and email me. No facebook email. it will be a fake AOL one as I know you distrust FB as much as I do.
If not now... then one day down the line if you find it's acceptable and not inappropriate I hope you do email me. There's been so much I'd like to share with you but because of the public forum... I can't.
You've been amazing and I will miss you.
Morning Moon I hid my addy so well even I couldn't find it. But finally got my act together and located it. If you need to make contact with Flow you can get hold of me and my local is on here under thiswww.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=4276&page=50&replies=500&totalitems=500 and I can let her know.
Hey Libra! Thanks, I am going to turn off my facebook (i hate it) and send you an email there. Thanks so much!
Oh, and PS
I never did thank you the day you posted on ASCLAC for me... so thanks.
Well Flowsco I hope for the best
I never really thought of you as bad or good person. Not that I don’t think of you as human being. I just don’t open up to anyone unless I feel I am safe with them. I have been online since 1998 and after so long I only have probably 5 people as friends including HP and SS. Everybody else are acquaintances, and I don’t get involved with them much. So this is really nothing personal.
Maybe to some people this is pride, but I don’t live my life to please other people. This is why you were not sure of me, because I only open up to SS and HP. We connect outside the forum. My re-birth this year, was fruit of all the work I did since 2006. It feels great, born anew. In regards to humans, there is nothing you can sure of anyway, because we all change at some point. Maybe to the better, maybe to the worst. Maybe subtle, maybe drastic. Only we know the change within ourselves. If we don’t change, then we are stagnant. Since life is to learn and move forward, then change is necessary or we are not learning anything. What's the point?
I noticed there are quite a few ASLAC threads, I have only been to one, and that’s because I know the same person who tried to get Men of Zodiac deleted, also didn’t like ASLAC. You pointed out to me that she has multiple personality. I didn’t know that, because we were never friends, so I never paid too much attention to her and I was just sharing general stories that I shared with everyone else. It was fun, until the truth comes out I guess. But that’s the only time I posted on ASLAC, I was just encouraging it to keep going (because Men of Zodiac keeps going LOL). I don’t know what you guys are talking about there, and I would leave it that way. I myself don’t stay in one thread and I don’t start any reading threads. I don’t like being limited, or feeling limited. After all I can’t be here all the time. I have financial responsibilities and my own plans for the future.
SS’ book seems to have a good market, hopefully it will get me the mansion she promised (with all the chefs, treacherous maids and half naked male staffs), and the jet she promised us. My own short story was published in 2002, it was my first time writing and I was surprised anyone paid attention to it. I won’t say the title here, I am not proud of it and I was using my real name there. But something good did come out of this whole surprise, it got me connection to those who look for quality, not commercial gain. So if I ever go back to writing again, I know where to send it first.
The sun is out, gotta go and bask in the sunlight. You take care and thanks for the notice !
Feel free to grab some weeds before you go. BOGOF had fun harvesting them and made profit selling them off ebay. best god-son ever!
Thank you all for your responses and LL for your efforts. I came back to the this thread to properly say my farewell to the ones that responded. To most of you its so long.
Lioness.....oooh thank you for the weed lol...I might pop up again to make sure to get directions to the meeting place. For now I got to do me. So I understand fully your sense of responsibility towards your own life. I must admit missing a few people.
As for SS’book I wasn’t aware it was out there already. And you too. Good going. I guess I may have missed that in the Men of the Zodiac. Perhaps one day when I have less to do I will go back and read to find out. But do tell her to keep up the good work.
As for the ASCLAC thread it was/is an ongoing thread about a few people day to day lives and relationships with others in the signs Scorpio, Cancer and with me Libra. LOL. The good and the bad. You know I love me some Libra vipers. LOL
You take care.
take care too Flowsco
don't know if you will read this but the book is not done yet,
she is getting close to finishing
I read half of it, not my favorite genre, but it's a popular one so it's a good market if she gets lucky with publisher
I'll tell her to keep humping on the furnitures and writing at the same time
bye now I will leave you to your own journey and I will return to mine
May you find your Journey into the unknown a beautiful one, for we have never met, but I do love to read the threads, with you included...
You might not read this in time as I rarely log in these days for reasons you well understand, but just happened to tonight and saw your post ....
I wish you well on your continued journey "off forum".
FLO, my dear Twisted Sister and lovely dame from Amsterdam
As you can see, I myself log on very sporadically these days and completely understand your decision to go back to full-time living.
Let me start with a funny story: right around the time you announced you were stepping down I had a dream about you and me I have no idea why as I usually don't dream of Internet buddies I have not yet had the pleasure to meet, except that lately I've been having some wild dreams (& nightmares) which, in my opinion, serve the main purpose of simply keeping me open and receptive.
In my dream, you came to NY to visit and I took you to some place in Brooklyn where we bumped into two psycho-killers with knives whom we, of course, skillfully managed to escape. Your hair was very dark with rich wave, neither short nor very long, and all I could see of your face was an attention-commanding red lipstick - one of those vintage crimsons that the Hollywood stars of old used to sport. You were wearing a tight ultra-mini skirt in gray and black cheetah print and high heels...no wonder those two sickos were after us, LOL
Anyway, just to show that you somehow have "leaked" into my subconscious and no, I am NOT psychic (we all are to an extent, only some - due to our cultural and societal conditioning - are currently closed off from it). For all I know, you may be a platinum blonde with stick-straight mane who gags at the mere sight of cheetah print skirts, haha
About my book - I WISH it were out there...I hate to make LEO wait for her mansion and the adjoining facilities, but it will take at least another six months to complete it. (Then, of course, another couple of months to tie it all together, find an editor and an enthusiastic publisher ready to take a bet on an unknown scribbler - in other words, it will take a large bucket of blood, sweat and luck).
What LEO says about marketability could be true or not. There is a basic story that fits into a currently popular genre (so popular, in fact, that it's getting sickening and at one point I considered switching it around, but when I tried - the whole thing threatened to unravel, so I let it be). What had come to me 14 years ago as kind of a consolation in my time of grief and remained buried in the back of my mind, decided to re-visit and asked to be told. At the time of its re-emergence I happened to have set out on an emotional/spiritual/mental journey of my own that was long overdue and which pretty much took me by surprise.
Like Neo in "The Matrix", I woke up one fine day, took that pill, only my pill was not red or blue but purple, I suppose, and the world was not the same ever since
It all occurred simultaneously, therefore I know that this book plays a very important part in what is happening with/to me. From what could have been a fun short story, a full fledged novel is striving to be born, something with a life of its own, much more complex and engaging than what I'd initially imagined. It took ME on a ride and it is still showing me things, revealing itself to me. It is not the kind of story that I myself would take where I want - it's the kind that takes me where IT wants.
Here is where the marketability comes into question; the plot is taking a backseat to what this turns out to really be about - what ultimately all stories are about - the struggle of being human, a creature that is both transient and eternal on a mission to understand and accept our duality, a cry for peace amidst inner conflict, the quest for love and its power to transform our wretched souls...seen through the eyes of two "outsiders" at odds with the world who find and "save" themselves and one another through the language of passionate sensuality (this, I suspect, will be the fun part)
What I found along the way is that writing is a very personal and intimate process, often painful, that requires merciless re-opening of old wounds - I can see now just how poorly stitched my wounds were - and letting many of those creepy little fiends we call personal demons out of Pandora's box. So, I think it's safe to say that I am not writing this book with the primary prospect of cashing in on it in mind (though I would welcome a quick bail-out from debt, lol) - first and foremost, I'm writing it for myself, for my own healing, and then, hopefully, for others who may connect to it on a feeling rather than an intellectual level...for some person on the edge of despair, a dreamer whose dreams are being crushed by harsh reality or perhaps a weir, lonely kid living in some rural middle-of-nowhere, being bashed and ridiculed by the herd. My wish would be for these people to read certain passages and feel comforted in the thought that, no, they are not insane and they are not alone - there are others out there who carry the very same feelings and desires in their hearts
I did not mean to be this long (never do and always wind up being, lol).
I just wanted to say that I don't know if money will be one of the by-products and if it does happen - to remind you (and LEO & HIGHPRIESTESS) that the first check I get will be happily spent on your airfare. It would be my absolute delight to bring the three of you ladies to NYC for a fun and nutty get-together, I can already hear the sound of your heels clicking on the sidewalks of this old town and picture all the fun we'd have...maybe we can all wear cheetah print mini skirts, they could be our "disrobed nuns-gone-bad" uniform - just remember to put on some bullet-proof knickers under it or we'll get into trouble ;). I guess we'll have to stay away from Brooklyn and knife-wielding psychopaths, though, LOL.
My dear FLOWSCO, your spunk and elaborately naughty mind will be missed; I hope you'll be dropping by every once in a blue moon to say 'hi'. If ever you should need me for anything (faux cheetah garments, viper pets, directions to our Pleasure Island...;)) and I'm not around - I hereby fully authorize LEO and HIGHPRIESTESS to supply you with my contact info.
Be well, be happy, be you and may your singing blossom to full bloom
Don't be surprised if - Muses willing - in 10 months from now you log onto Tarot and catch the following thread: "FLOWSCO, PACK YOUR MINI, NY IS WAITING!"
Love & spankings
Your cyber friend, a dirty-minded dreamer with big heart and bigger temper (working hard on reversing that. lol)
(Yep – after all of that, I have the nerve to add a P.S.)
Here's my farewell gift(s) to you (hope the Admin doesn't snatch first).
I know you love muscles as in 'buff and chiseled'...:)
The great thing about it is that we could go out on the town together and probably never go for the same guy. You love a hot body, I love a pretty-boy/man face...attached to a 'whatever body' and packed into a band t-shirt and a relaxed fit, faded jean (most likely with empty pockets, haha) that sits nicely on his boo*tie (YES to cute boo”ties, lol).
I believe LEO is safe, too - the only one I might have to mud-wrestle in my silver foil bikini is HIGHPRIESTESS: as you know, she also has a thing for long-haired, mussed-up musician types...;-P
LANCE LAMAR & MATUS VALENT - fitness models.
Peruse them, wear them out & ship them off to the Pleasure Island thereafter
Flow- my twinsis, I will miss You greatly on the forum I hope you get this message as I was late to the farewell... I hope one day we will meet I am sending to Kel and Katie my email as I am not able to keep up with forum as much myself. I understand the stepping down I kinda half way did myself be good and be safe get in touch with them if you ever need to talk , I will miss you
aie! i didn't realize you guys were stepping down ...
LibrasLair and Flowsco, i'm trying to find you on empath community and am struggling to find you there ... but i think you are messaging through youtube now, right? you found me? i'm trying to map the right user here to the messages there, lol ...
sorry for not having been around,, work has just exploded and lots of change led to me not having much of a personal life so i could keep my job and pay the bills ... but def miss our chats and discussions and you!
wishing you both the best!
I didn't even see your post until today
of course if Flowsco ever asks your info I will give it
see you on our fave thread
hi flow, if you're reading this.. hi.
sent a msg to libraslair a while bck. do u still want to keep in contact?
i would like to via email if you would but i dont have yours. hope you are well.