What do I do about this man I began talking to online?

  • Hi everyone I am new to this forum today 🙂 I'll try to explain this as best as I can..

    First, before you read, I wasn't looking for an online hookup and I wasn't even looking for love at all I was on this dating site for quite awhile not expecting anything and BAMM comes this man.. I just felt something just looking at his photo, he also resembled an old friend of mine which also is on my mind..

    Anyway, I decided to be on that site for friends first..

    Almost 3 weeks ago this man contacted me through a message at plentyoffish. We started talking through messages and then on the IM for hours. We really liked each other and got along very well. He would send me messages about how much he liked me and so on. We were soon going to talk on the phone but he didn't call me and I asked him why and he said he got shy. We both had a MySpace page and he had all these women after him on there. He told me that there was nothing with them that they act like they own him. He then deleted a few of them. Now the other day he wrote me a message saying that he can't take the crap on myspace and he is just keeping it for his family only. He deleted me and that was it.

    I can't write back to him on there because he has for friends only for messages to go through and now he has made his page private. He won't write me through email and he has his IM turned that I can't see him online but I know he is because in my contact addresses I can see his name lit up with the smiley face.

    I don't know if I should try to email him or call him. I have his number but I was afraid to call just not knowing what to say.

    We are adults, we aren't young, just wanted to let you know.

    And I know this all seems like childish games. I am 38 and he is 45.

    I am usually good at this but now I have no clue on what to do. I was thinking of sending him a poem or something but I don't think that would even work now.

    No, if anyone asks he's not married, well as far as I know.. He showed me pics of his daughter and said he has 3 boys as well.. He said he is just looking for love and hope that I would consider him if I didn't want to be single anymore.. I know there was this one girl on his friend's list that has a crazy crush on him and he deleted her off his friends as well.. She tried contacting me for friend's request and I wouldn't answer her.. I finally couldn't take her tactics and I really told her off but he had her deleted before I did that..

    I guess she ran to him and told him anyway eventhough he was not friend's with her on the myspace anymore.. She was very pushy with him.. I guess I have ruined it all on myself now?

    My friends say leave it be don't bother with him or try to contact him at all and move on.. I just don't feel that way.. I don't give up easily without giving atleast one more shot, you know..

    I am just back and forth for days wanting to write him then stop because I get afraid.. It is just so maddening..

    He is a Libra, I am a Sag..


  • Do the words "He's just not that into you" sound familiar? If he was as crazy about you as he said none of this would be happening. You can't make excuses for him because you don't know him. You only know what he wanted you to know. And you don't know if he was truthful. Sometimes you can't pin a Libra down. Don't waste your time on someone who obviously isn't that interested. When your so young and there are so many more out there. What's that saying? So many men and so little time. LOL

  • I know how hard it is to just give up and walk away, but, in my mind in this situation you don't have to do that because, he already has. There are no options for you, he's done. Trying to figure out a way to get through all the blocks he has put up is a little silly. You're in your mid 30's, still very young. Your friends are right move on, dodn't waste anymore time on this guy. And I get a strong feeling that he has a big secret, BIG secret, and went through all these measures because he is hiding something. Hurry up and get away from this guy, he's kinda scary.

  • Hi, You don't do anything. You move on.

  • Hi;

    I think this man did you WRONG and you should let others know. Why don't you post your story at


    That way you warn other women about your bad experience.

    I hope you have enough info about him and a picture to make him easy for ID.

    I understand your pain.. but there is nothing else you can do right now.. Unfortunately.

  • LibrasUnited:

    That is great!! I have done that before for a friend who dated a real jerk!


    Just let it go girlfriend. It is not worth it. It could souly be that he has lost interest. Do not compromise yourself or your needs for someone who could care less about them. If he is avoiding you, there is a reason and a purpose.

    I am working through some stuff now as well. Just be true to your wants and needs.

  • Move on. Don't even dwell on him. Sounds to me like he's married or living with someone and his wife/girlfriend has stumbled across his site on myspace and has given him an ultimatum ...hence the reason he's deleted you and several other girls from his list. Or he has met someone else and doesn't want to play the field anymore.

  • DFlawless-

    what do you mean by he has lost interest.. and you make it like it is OK .

    He needs to learn his lesson.. why let him get away? He will do it again, and another woman will suffer the same. Sorry, StrongEnoughDive... just prove your name.

    .. and Flawless.. i think you have deleted him right a week from that site, didn't you?

  • HP,

    I did not post Aries on DontDateHimGirl.Com, A friend of mine, who is happily married and has a child now, dated a guy who ended up being a total jerk. Since we were all close friends, I did it out of spite for her sake. Also as a slap in the face to him because I have known him my whole life and never thought he would do that.

  • Just let it go he was a jerk....or something else happen.... regardless ...don't respond ...you give up to much power when you do...

  • Hi StrongenoughDiva, I am in the same boat, although we have met for a couple of dates and he seems to be very interested, but when we are away from each other he does exactly the same thing, say he'll call but doesn't.

    My advice to you..cut him loose before you get too emotionally attached.

Log in to reply