I recently met a man (2wks ago). I like him very much, but am not quite sure what he thinks of me. I'm wondering if you see anything happening with us.
Silverwitch, I need to know something about this man in order to read his vibes. Do you know his birthdate?
Wow! Busy day on the forum.
Captain, thank you for trying. Hopefully you can connect with him.
Is that 12th Sept or 9th Dec? And what is your birthdate so I can compare them?
9th Dec. Mine is April 1st, 1970.
This relationship will hinge on the issue of trust versus rejection. Your new friend most likely has suffered from rejection in his life, having a tendency as he does to 'put all his eggs in the wrong basket'. So he may not be overly trusting of you - the tragedy is that in this respect he may be turning a blind eye to one of the few people who is capable of understanding and accepting him. Viewed clearly, this relationship can be a source of strength, faithfulness and sustenance to both of you. Yet it can also be very passionate and romantic, which may further delude the pair of you into discounting it by failing to see its strong underlying foundation. Indeed, a passionate relationship here is likely to generate a kind of unrealistic haze, obscuring both your vision.
Sometimes, distrust between you will produce the very events you both fear. When this occurs, you two must try to understand your own roles in creating the disaster. If you Silverwitch refuse to be put off by your friend's suspicion, aloofness, or downright hostility, you may force him to see the honesty of your intentions, and a satisfying, productive relationship - be it friendship or marriage - can result. On the other hand, although you are generally honorable enough not to degrade or humiliate your friend, you may be beweildered or even frightened if he gets swept away by his intense feelings, and may be put off by certain peculiarities inherent in his personality. If so, you might withdraw from his advances and refuse to get further involved, sometimes by simply dropping out of sight and refusing to answer the phone. Your friend certainly has his idiosyncracies and he may frustrate your desire just to get on with the relationship. So keep your eyes open and don't let your vision be clouded by preconceptions or by the past. This relationship can be trusting, understanding, and honorable - don't let it degenerate into suspicion, belligerence, or blindness.
swat4u last edited by
dear captain, need some desperate help. Life seems to have changes for me on july 17th when i met a guy i had known for three years but only through phone and net. i immediately got attracted even though i was committed for 6 years and have now broken up although there are other reasons besides my new interest. now i want to know what this guy truly feels for me, is there a chance for a relationship/marriage? Will he ever love me the way I do? If not then what should i do? how do i get out of these feelings? i have tries evrything possible.
My details are - DOB 19.02.1982
his details - 29.11.1982
my ex-fiancee's details - 25.09.1979.
can you please give me some insight and some advice plssssssssss. Thanks.
Thank you, Captain. I've been working with him remotely for a couple of years, and was happy to get the opportunity to meet him (I'm doing a project for his company). He was a lot more than I had expected. He's a very attractive, unique guy, and I find his oddities interesting and like him more because of them.
There is some physical distance between us, but I am very much hoping to see him again in different circumstances. And my impatient self wants it to happen SOON, but I don't have a reason to drive to where he is until next year.
I feel as though he's already a good friend. I don't think he's very happy with things in his current life or in his relationship, and I hope to see him make some badly needed changes. If he does make some of those changes, then I would love to pursue a romantic relationship with him.
But right now, mostly, I just want to be able to spend more time with him. It felt good to hang out and laugh with him.
Piscesstar last edited by
Hi Captain, I am new to this and hope maybe you can help me. I just posted my situation, Cancer man....what do I do? If you get a chance, can you please read it and give me some insight and advice on this matter. Me 3/18 him 6/24.
Swat4u and new man - The personal and complex interchanges here can make a love affair or a friendship very involved and difficult to fathom. Your lives are fatefully intertwined, in a complicated and not always obvious way. The focus of your relationship is often a kind of imitation, in which each person seeks to emulate the other, going so far in some cases as to mimic his or her style or personal characteristics. Thus, a principal theme here is interpretation, for you two often go about copying each other in your own highly personal manner. Of course, it's tempting to ask why you pick each other as models in the first place, but the answer invariably lies at a fairly deep psychological level. One suggestion is that the impersonator is aroused by some important element in the life or character of the person they are imitating, and wishes to be like them. That is quite ironic, since in most cases like this, the individual in question already carries, though unconsciously, the characteristics they perceive in the other partner. Projection is often at work here, with your friend becoming the focus of your secret wishes or fantasies, and vice versa. Falling in love with a projection of one's own idealized inner man or woman is evident here. Marriage to someone reminiscent of one's mother or father, or a dominant sibling, is also common between people like you. A relationship like this may allow a person either to work out childhood difficulties or just to reenact them, but in either case, it can be quite bewildering and frustrating for the other partner to be consistently treated as if he or she were someone else. The relationship often ends when one or the other gets fed up with such treatment or the partners realise what is actually going on.
You and ex-fiance - this relationship is always on the move, forever in search of new horizons. Your ex's dynamism combines with your ambition to produce a hard-driving and uncompromising relationship that makes few excuses for its actions and none for its intentions. Tending towards idealism, you two generally proceed from a strongly ethical or moral standpoint and thus feel justified in what you do. Although the focus of the relationship may well be on worldly adventures and challenges, its greatest need is for introspection and self-understanding. In a love affair, a marriage, or a friendship, it is essential for the both of you to spend time getting to know each other well. If other activities have to be postponed or meetings cancelled for this to be accomplished, so be it. You Swat4u may lead the way in this endeavour, although you may be loath to open up areas in yourself that you have successfully sealed off. The trick here is for both of you to begin not with self-analysis, but with discussions of the relationship itself. These can be a prelude to a highly exciting adventure of a different sort. The realization that self-discovery is a worthy challenge will lead you two to explore this new territory more fully. Without such digging into each other's real selves, without finding deeper emotional and spiritual values and understanding, there can be no lasting relationship here.
Piscesstar, I answered you in your other thread.
If anyone else has any questions for me, please start your own thread.