Seriously Confused- Pisces Woman & Cancer Man

  • Okay so this is my story in a nutshell...

    I have been seeing this Cancer guy for about 3 and half years. I am a Pisces and the relationship has been long distance as I did not have the money to move to his location. But I we found other ways of connecting. It was very hard for both of us...but in March I found out that he started talking to another female. He said they were just friends and I believed him, Trusted him. In June I went to go see him and the entire first three days I was there he spent texting someone and then refused to hold my hand out in public. But he would continually tell me how much I mean to him and that he loves me very much. I found emails and a love letter while I was another woman. I confronted him on this and he told me I had nothing to worry about. Again, in a true Pisces mentality I trusted him...he admitted that it was more then friendship but that he wants me...its just so hard without me there. He shutdown on me after I returned home on the June 7th. Obviously I was more pissed that he lied to me, then his actual cheating. He refused to speak to me about the situation for almost 2 wks. Then he called me on evening. He told me that he was sorry for everything he put me through. We discussed things intensely for three days. He told me he doesn't want me to let him go and that he doesn't want to let me go. That he has loved me for so long and wanted me for so long...but it was hard for him to be in love with a woman who is so far away. I told him that it was hard for me too, but me moving there was the light I held on to. Not to mention I was going to go visit him for he called me for days after that and we would take and we fell back into the same habits as before. One night I asked him if this was he wanting to work things out and he said yes but no promises...I don't want hurt you like that again. I said OK. I don't plan on getting hurt like that again.

    So, fast forward a few weeks to the end of Aug...beginning of Sept. I found out that I am pregnant. I told him. we had an argument about that...the next evening I called him and told him we have to talk about things. So he called me and we laid all the cards on the table. He suggested that I have an abortion for various viable reasons. I told him I couldnt go down that road. He said it is my body and I need to do what is right for me, but he will no longer be able to speak to me. I said do you love me? He said I love you as a friend and your my best friend. He told me at that time he has a girlfriend...who he doesnt have to wait for (like me) but he doesn't get see her all the time (she is married). Yeah...I said it she is still married. Later that evening he called me...drunk. He tells me ,"I love you know how much I love you." I said no. He said I love you very much and you are my best friend...You have always been there when no one else would stand by me, You have always protected me...I need protection I do dumb stuff..will you protect me from the dumb stuff I do?" I know I should let you go...I just cant. Will you always be here? Forever? My heart breaking I answered him yes. He has no idea how painful this is for me...He keeps calling me his girl, baby and telling me he loves me all the time. He said he is only with her because I am not there...I ask him if he is falling in love with her...yes said he thinks he is. So in the flavor of friendship I ask him about her and he tried to tell me ...but then stopped telling me he is not ready to talk about it ...with me. I said oh ok. He clarified that it is me...he goes," I mean it's are us...understand?" I said yeah. This kills me...we have been through sooooo much...and everything he has put me through recently...sigh. I just dont know what to do? Do I stay as his friend and what he calls his night buddy...( he has insomnia and knows I am up late some nights so he calls me and we talk and listen to music or watch movies together.) Or let him go? I know I dont have much time left with him as a friend or otherwise. I find out today what the results of my pregnancy and I know he is going to hate me for keeping the baby. Sometimes I think he is talking BS..but I dont know...I am getting nothing but mixed signals. Like him sending me a picture of him holding his daughters new baby. After he cheated on me...a few days later he was robbed and then a week later he was fired. I was there for him still...what do I do? Please advise.

  • First off, your Cancer boy is more in love with himself than he is with either you or Mrs. Proximity. Second of all, if you really want to keep your baby, you need to concentrate on you & your (I am seeing a little girl) baby. -Not this guy. After she is born, he will have the right to & will become a good Dad. At that point, you can make a rational decision as to how large a roll you want him to play in your life, but not until then. you need to let him know your plan & stick to your guns for your & your baby's health and sanity. By the time you give birth, you will have evolved emotionally as well as gotten through the hardest part. The up side is you have a timeline/light at the end of this tunnel, to focus on. Remember this: everything will always be alright, you just have to decide you want it to be. You will surprise yourself with the amount of strength you have within. Believe me, after the intial sadness, you will begin feeling empowered, and that's something you will need as a mother. Love doesn't have to be so hard, not even for Pices. -Keep us posted!

  • Thanks for the advice and I will surely keep you posted. This pregnancy is weird for me compared to my son...I know it's a girl as well. I have 6mos to formulate a plan and execute. I am not going to worry about him or how he is going to hate me after I tell him my decision to keep my daughter. In the end it will be his loss... Thanks for the advice.

  • Someone gave me a heads up about your thread NeptunesDaughter. Read"Calling all Cnacers Help" and you'll see I was in the very same position. Lucky for me my Cancer guy did not say anything about wanting me to abort...however he did sort of dissappear- no contact...if there was there was no acknowledgement of our predicament.

    No matter who this guy is...even if he was an amazing guy who said that he wanted the baby...this is your choice!!! Do you want to have the baby? Whatever decision you make, you have to live with it-not anyone else in the world. There may be obstacles but when isnt there any? Look to your family and friends. for a moment forget about this guy and think of yourself and possible the person you bring into this world.

    After I told my guy about what had happened and got the lack of any response, I totally freaked out. How in the world can I bring someone into this world on my own. I had decided to go through with it. I accepted my situation and I was so happy, I told my parents and friends and everyone was supportive. Almost 2 months into the pregnancy I felt pains and saw blood- I called this guy (lives close by) and told him something was wrong and I needed to go to the MD. Turns out I had a miscarriage. I felt sad and empty all of a you think I gave a damn about him at that!

    If you want the baby- have it. But if YOU are not ready dont. Dont let someone else make your decision- this is our own freedom.

  • Thanks for the advice. I miscarried. No babies for me.

  • As for my Cancer man. He is no longer mine. He made his choice and it wasn't me. I am done with him calling me late at night , drunk and telling me that he loves me...i'm his best friend...He doesn't know what love is and he is a disappointment to the Cancerian the Water sign people. He hurt me so many times over the span of our 3- almost 4 yr relationship...I have nothing left for him. Whether my silence towards him is something that wakes him up or not...I don't know and I don't care. He missed his chance with me. If this is wrong...then I guess I am just going to be wrong. I am so hurt and he only cares about himself. My uncle is the hospital...I told him around 12 know he didnt get back with me until 9:55 pm. I was there for him in anyway I could...I miscarried his child ...he says he wants to be here for me...but he cant even return a text much less a call or otherwise. I am done. This Pisces is swimming away and like my ex-husband he wont realize it til its too late.

  • My sincere apologies for not mentioning in my first reply, that Mercury was in retrograde. Not that it makes a miscarriage any easier to recover from, but it may have contributed to how different the pregnancy felt. It may also have explained why you had to go through all of his crap again. [Mercury retrograde gives us time to catch up with ourselves, and to look back. Something from the past might return in a different form. This can mean people, ideas or buried insights that need to surface for you to move forward. Often it's felt as a contemplative time, depending on the sign, a chance to go over old ground again, to claim what you missed the first time.] I truly hope since Mercury is now direct, the last week and a half have given you some relief and has bolstered your confidence, even if it hasn’t been consistent, it will gain momentum soon. You can look forward to the new moon really making up for the last 4 years with gifts of unparalleled strength and liberating good fortune. I see your son already feeling it. –Has he had the giggles lately? If you are still feeling the pangs of sadness when you don’t expect it, remember both habit & his uglier lazier cousin, guilt can briefly disguise himself as love. –Don’t fall for it, you’re smarter than that! Use this time to take care of yourself and your family, because your life is about to soar beyond what you have dreamed of so far. I’m really sorry to hear about your uncle. –More sorry that I’m not picking up anything good…just yellow hospital. If I get more, I will let you know. Keep in touch. –I am looking forward to a tidal wave of good news.

  • No worries. I do have a small update. My Cancer friend has contacted me on several occasions and has most recently offered to help me out with some groceries. Which couldn't have come at a better time. God works wondrously! My paycheck was very small this pay period and I am anticipating the same for the next three paychecks as my hours had been reduced due to evening care issues. So, anywho... we may not get together again at least we are friends and I know he loves far that is the update.

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