Questions for the Captain!



  • As you can probably sense, we never had any intimate physical contact or anything like that. But I did feel burning passion for this girl, and I even felt like ''it doesn't make sense at all for us to not be together''.

    I was the last to e-mail her, and text, but got no reply. Later, I found out she's studying a lot, to get into MIT.

    I'd like to know whether I should try to contact her again(no longer have her cellphone number... deleted it in April or May, but I still know it by heart) , as she's had more guys fall for her in the past, and I really hate the idea of being just ''one more''. If she tells me that I'm ''just like all others'', I'd be heartbroken because I feel we're just perfectly tailored for each other, but am scared this is just caused by her ability to attract guys.

    I am also unsure whether she'd like what I've evolved into, even if she did like the way I was months ago

    I have learned a LOT from this girl. Not only from the way she is, but also from my experience knowing her. Two important things I learned were ''don't hesitate when you think you've found the right person.'', and ''be proud of the way you are, always.''.

    If I contacted her again, would it bring happiness to the both of us? (Not talking about growth! I'm talking about happiness, right now. Not that I have an unhappy life! I just think it's about time for me to learn to be a boyfriend! :D)

    What about growth? Would it bring us personal growth?

    Are there more lessons for us to learn together? Or to teach each other?

    Her name is Inês, by the way.

    Thanks for the input... I know you said before that it's lust, not love... but I can't help but feel(or think... I'm not sure anymore if it's one or the other) like my whole life was meant to lead me to knowing her, as I am a somewhat... different person, and she seemed to be my perfect match in terms of personality.



  • HiddenDiamond, it takes two to make a relationship. Don't you think if this girl was interested in you she would get in touch? Inês is not returning your messages - she hopes you will get her silent meaning without having to be more clear to you. All the hope and love is on your side - this girl has moved on to other interests. She doesn't feel what you feel - even you aren't sure what you feel. In fact, a lot of what you feel is for a fantasy, not a real person. You dream of the perfect relationship. Time to face reality!

    Even if you two get together in the future as friends, now is not the time for a relationship between you. While you obsess over this matter, you miss out on opportunities to live your life to the fullest. You will just drive Inês further away by pressing her on this matter. You don't need to learn to be a boyfriend - you just need to learn to be a decent human being, to treat everyone well. Whenever you search for something outside yourself - love, happiness, abundance etc. - it can always be taken away from you at any time. But, if it comes from the inside, it is always with you forever. In order to find love, happiness, abundance etc, you must first find it in and for yourself.



  • Interesting, Captain.. I have recently bought some of Gary Goldschneider's books(Birthdays, Relationships and Destiny), after finding the description of my relationship with a friend of mine, which you showed me, to be so accurate.

    In the side note of LeoVirgo + LibraScorpio it said:

    Liszt(LibraScorpio man) + Lola(LeoVirgo woman)

    Liszt had an affair with the hot-blooded spanish dancer, ex-cortesan of the Mad King

    Louis of Bavaria. When Liszt tired of her, he left her while she slept, leaving money for the furniture which he was sure she would destroy in her wrath.

    --//--

    About ''Learning to be a decent human being'', in which way am I not treating people well right now? (I think I might have an idea or two, but still would like to hear it so I can be sure.)



  • I wasn't saying you weren't a decent person now but there's always more we can all learn. It's all about becoming more aware of our effect on others and how they in turn affect us.