• Hi Hans, I'm going round in circles right now - "fighting" and "rejoicing" has it's challenges you see. I know I've asked you for guidance all through this situation with my "friend" but I haven't asked for a reading in a very long time. Can you tell me what you "see" about this relationship at this point. Is it done, is there more? I have tried to be true to my heart in one respect and in doing so I hurt my heart in other ways. I might have hurt my friend as well, who can say - the truth has always been hazy between us with all of his layers of stuff he deals with in his life.

    Anyway, some Hans Wisdom would be refreshing at this point. I am weary from juggling my thoughts in all of this, and second-guessing myself and the decisions I've made. You always give me the right tools to see things in a new way.

    Thank you Hans.

  • Jenever7,

    tell me what you "see" about this relationship at this point: you are sitting between yes and no.

    Is it done: no.

    is there more? yes.

    Wisdom would be refreshing at this point: follow your heart going into the unknown instead of listening to your mind clinging to the known, to security, to the past.

    give me the right tools to see things in a new way: the structure and the laws of society are part of your mind. Listen to your heart.

    And certainly you are not your name; it is just a

    label -- useful. You are not just your profession, you

    are not your job, and you are not your wealth. You are

    not your knowledge. Then who are you?

  • Very true Hans, I am sitting between yes and no, but that doesn't help me understand where he is sitting. This is not just about me right now as much as I try to make it so.

    Who am I? Just another piece of Existence I suppose....trying to understand how I fit and how it fits me so it all becomes a whole.

  • Hi Hanswolfgang : ) I see that you've helped so many here... I was wondering if you could possibly shed some light on my situation as well?

    I've recently met (through an online dating site) This Tauras Man (May 6) who I (Jan 26) like a lot, but I am totally confused by. We've been talking - well.... Texting - for a few weeks now... He seems to be very sweet, but seems to hold back... We never talk on the phone - talked once or twice shortly.... the rest of our communication is thru texting (not a whole lot of... only good mornings, good nights, Hi, thinking about you... stuff like that....) He has said that I'm the type of woman that he has been looking for, yet I still see that he browses the dating site still.... I'm very interested and he talks about meeting.... There seems to be a strong connection between us, I can't explain it.... I keep telling him that he has to open up and at least call sometimes... he only responds with... I will answer anything you want, you can call me... My question is... Why can't HE call me? I won't call (Because I'm stubborn and still waiting on him to call me) -- I guess u say, you can see why we're getting no where lol.... I would like to know more about him, but I've read that you can't push a Tuarus too fast.. So, I try to be patient... I'm just running out ... but hate to let a good thing pass me by.... We are in touch every day... he even texts me (Kisses!) in the middle of the night : ) And SOMEtimes... I will be thinking of him or what he could/may be doing at a particular moment, and I will get a Text from him at that very moment! I just don't know what to do... should I leave it alone or wait on him... I read also that some Taurus men are players... I wonder if that could be it? Your insight would be GREATLY appreciated : ) - My ascendant is Capricorn, by the way... Thanx!

  • Jenever7,

    help me understand where he is sitting: he is standing fascinated by his studies and much less interested in relationships.

    But inside the brain there is no sensitivity. So if a

    stone is put inside your head you will not be able to

    know about it. Electrodes can be put in your head.

  • AquariusWoman,

    shed some light on my situation as well? love is arising, you are falling in love.

    should I leave it alone or wait on him: neither nor.

    I wonder if that could be it? Yes.

    Your insight would be GREATLY appreciated: be receptive for the gift of existence.

    Once the storm of resentment has washed over you, good fortune will come again.

    This is very paradoxical: in the valley you

    constantly fall, on the top never. This is paradoxical

    because we see people falling from the top. In the

    valley, why should one fall? One is walking on level

    ground, people fall from heights -- that is a myth. In

    the inner world nobody falls from the heights; once the

    inner height is achieved, one never falls from it.

    Nothing can be taken from you if you have achieved it

    in the within. But without, your myth is true.

  • Thanks! Do you see us in a committed relationship?

  • Well...I suppose that's a positive place for him to be. But are you suggesting I am now nothing more than a stone inside his head? That I no longer stimulate his interest? Well, "hmph!" to that, lol. If I am boring then I suppose he really should go find his electrodes elsewhere.

  • AquariusWoman,

    Do you see us in a committed relationship? No.

    The woman who only lives in unconsciousness is normal:

    she gets up early in the morning, goes to the

    marketplace, earns her living, gives birth to children,

    makes a house -- goes on moving in a routine for

    seventy years, then dies. This is the normal woman. Not

    creative, not innovative, not original in any way; has

    nothing to contribute -- no art, no science, no


  • Jenever7,

    are you suggesting I am now nothing more than a stone inside his head? yes.

    That I no longer stimulate his interest? No.

    Jenever, while your ego remains dominant you will

    remain on the surface. If you want to know the deeper

    realities and mysteries, then you have to watch your

    thoughts. Just by watching, they start coming less and

    less to you. And a day comes when you find you are

    there without any thoughts. That is the greatest day of

    your life. To be more accurate, that is the birthday of

    your being. From that day, you start living on deeper

    levels, where life has its roots.

  • Well Hans realize that when you set me on the task of watching my ego then it keeps me occupied with just that - thinking about my ego. Now I have to watch my ego but at the same time don't think about watching it. You know how I like to think on things and now you have set me on thinking on the things that I think about. Which is likely to become so mentally exhausting at some point that there is some chance that I will find myself in that happy place of thoughtlessness just because I'm too tired from it all. šŸµ

    Hey, I took your advice to heart, and simply followed my heart, and contacted my friend. I figured if we weren't "done" then I might as well go with it. His reply was brief, but freindly, and I think that you were right Hans. My heart feels much lighter now that I have done what feels right and not what my mind tells me is right. You know, it's funny, long ago you told me this relationship with my friend would end and there would be some sort of accounting. Do you realize how many times your insights have prompted me to prolong the relationship, even at times when perhaps it would have been best to just end it? I'm not sure what kind of sense that makes, but it's true. On that note, when this all messes up again I will probably hold you responsible so just know that I'll be back, lol.

    Meanwhile...I know, I know, "no thoughts".

    Thank you Hans.

  • I "DID" understand the 'No' part... the rest, I have yet to - But Thanx - The part I needed answered has been : )

  • Jenever7,

    whatsoever you know, you have learned it from your

    schools and universities, you have heard it from your

    scriptures, you have obtained it from your gurus. But

    all of that is a part of your body, not of your soul.

    Your soul is that which you have obtained from no one.

    So your true nature consists of that which you have

    received from no body -- neither from your mother, nor

    father, society, guru, or scripture. Until you have

    discovered that pure element which is innately yours,

    you won't be able to realize your true being.

  • AquariusWoman,

    one of the mystics in India, Kabir, was a weaver. He

    had thousands of followers and still he continued to

    weave clothes. Even kings were his followers.

    The king of Varanasi asked him, "Master, it doesn't

    look good, it makes us feel embarrassed. We can take

    care of you. There is no need for you to weave clothes

    and every week on market day, go into the market to

    sell your clothes. Just think of us: people laugh at


    Kabir said, "I can understand your problem but I have

    only one talent and that is to weave beautiful clothes.

    If I stop doing it, who will do it? And God comes in

    different faces, in different bodies, to purchase

    clothes every week in the marketplace."

    He used to address every customer, "Lord, be very

    careful of the cloth. I have been weaving it, not just

    like any other weaver -- my songs are in it and my soul

    is in it. I have poured my whole being in it. Be

    careful, use it with tenderness and love and remember:

    Kabir has woven it especially for you, Lord." And it

    was not something that he was addressing to anybody in

    particular -- any customer!

    This was his contribution. He used to say to his

    disciples, "What else can I do? I am doing my best: I

    can weave, I can sing, I can dance -- and I am

    immensely contented."

    Whatever you are doing, if there is contentment and a

    feeling that this whole existence is nothing but the

    manifestation of godliness, that we are traveling on

    holy earth, that whomever you are meeting, you are

    meeting God -- there is no other way; only faces are

    different, but the inner reality is the same -- all

    your tensions will disappear. And the energy that is

    involved in tensions will start becoming your grace,

    your beauty.

  • Well Hans, what is your measure of when a person finds their true being? I was raised in an environment where intellect ruled. My father was a research scientist in Entomology. I myself make my career in Horticulture/writing/photography. My siblings also ended up in the natural sciences. I have always had a keen sense of connection to the cycles of nature, the seasons, the seed that grows and weathers the storms and the sunshine only to eventually die and become part of a new cycle. Every little thing in the universe has it's value. I question and debate and discuss and try to experience things in new ways even when I know that some choices I make will only create difficulties for myself. I am always willing to discard old ideas for something new and always willing to "take the road less travelled" if I think it will show me something new. I fear no man's God because, from a purely practical standpoint, I don't think it makes sense to keep making up versions of God and it just complicates life. In Christian belief that I was raised in (flimsy Christians that my family are), God said simply, "just know that I am". That works for me. I've been fortunate to travel to many places and while the cultures may vary, it's all the same, we are all the same, just getting through our days in different ways.

    In any case, this is who I am right now. This is why I ask you so many questions. I see you as someone very unique in my experience and I want to "see" what you see. There is no guarantee I will ever agree with what you think existence should be like, but that doesn't mean that I disagree with you either. I've always been looking for my true and best self. But I don't see an actual destination in all of that, I have no sense that any of it will ever get me anywhere for very long and the reality is that one day I'll just up and die and it won't matter anyway. I say that not in a morbid way, it just is. The laws of nature and the random forces of the universe will have us all in the end along with all the joys and sorrows and experiences that went with us. I may never realize my true being, who can say. How do you know when you get there?

    Anyway, in my own version of things I don't believe that I am lost in the way that you may think I am. In the grand scheme of things I am very comfortable, it is the little things, the human interactions that are my undoing. As you pointed out in another post - the power that we would all have if we pursued life in the same way - thoughtfully and aware. It is all here for us to be happy, all right in front of us if we would only share it and share our true selves. But we don't. I've always had awareness of when I am operating out of ego (you have very much helped me define that though). And I think that alot of people who appear to operate out of altruism are actually ego-driven as well. It is interesting what a challenge it is to just "be" and not find some recognition in it, someone to celebrate us for it. So I really do believe I understand the "pure element" you speak of but it really is a struggle for me to hang on to that when humanity, for the most part, is not operating in a pure state. That is why I enjoy interacting with you Hans. You have helped me stay out of the fray. I know where I am supposed to exist, I think we are both on the same side of that fence, but you help me "see" how to stay there.

    Somewhere in all of this I think my only point was to tell you a bit more of "who I am". Got a bit carried away there, lol.

  • Jenever7,

    what is your measure of when a person finds their true being? giving up of senseless activity. Her lower being is always gravitating towards the past -- that is the animal -- and her potential is always hankering for a chance to grow -- that is that personĀ“s future, her hope. It is interesting to note that neither Jesus, nor

    Krishna, nor Buddha have written their autobiographies.

    They neither told them nor wrote them. Writing or

    speaking about oneself has not been possible for those

    who have known themselves, because after knowing the

    person changes into something so formless that what we

    call the facts of his life -- facts like the date he

    was born, the date a particular event happened --

    dissolve. What happens is that all these facts cease to

    have any meaning. The awakening of a soul is so

    cataclysmic that after it occurs, when one opens his

    eyes he finds that everything is lost. Nothing is left;

    no one remains to talk about what has happened.

    How do you know when you get there? I never get there, the way is the goal, there is always something missing. All you have to do is see your nature. Your nature is your true being, and the true being is free, free of plans, free of cares. If you donĀ“t see your nature and run around all day looking somewhere else, youĀ“ll never find your true being. The truth is, thereĀ“s nothing to find. But to reach such an understanding you need to struggle to make yourself understand. Life and death are important. DonĀ“t suffer them in vain. ThereĀ“s no advantage in deceiving yourself. You should realize that everything you see is like a dream or illusion. Our mortal nature is our true being. Beyond this nature thereĀ“s no true being. The true being is our nature. ThereĀ“s not true being besides this nature, and thereĀ“s no nature besides the true being.

    Your approach is wonderful, scientific in the true way. Unfortunately almost every scientist is unable to approach things in your way. Science has become a religion, the state-religion of the most countries in this world. They have their dogmas (e.g. evolution-theory), their high priests, everything is certain and proven, and who does not believe them is a fool or mad. They know what is right and what is wrong, they have completely forgotten, that science means always working with hypotheses and searching for the unknown, the antitheses. No, they defend their theories with all means and only when they are no more in power, new theories can arise again.

    But anyway I share your approach, I have no belief, I am working just with theories, I always try to choose that theory which is most liberating for me. Taoism is my working theory for now and I am still very happy living with that theory. I am interested especially in all what science is omitting and excluding being afraid of having to change their parameters if they would explore this.

    So much for now about me.

    Yes, eventually we will die, of course, but if you have been preparing, if you have been

    meditating -- and preparation means if you have been

    making all efforts to use death, to use this abyss of

    nothingness -- rather than being pulled into it you

    have been getting ready to jump into it, it makes a lot

    of difference. If you are being pulled into it,

    grudgingly -- you don't want to go into it and you have

    been snatched -- then it is painful. Much anguish! And

    the anguish is so intense that you will become

    unconscious in the moment of death. Then you miss.

    But if you are ready to jump there is no anguish. If

    you accept and welcome it, and there is no complaint --

    rather, you are happy and celebrating that the moment

    has come, and now I can jump out of this body which is

    a limitation, can jump out of this body which is a

    confinement, can jump out of this ego which has always

    been a suffering -- if you can welcome, then there is

    no need to become unconscious. If you can become

    accepting, welcoming -- what Buddhists call tathata, to

    accept it, and not only to accept, because the word

    accept is not very good, deep down some nonacceptance

    is hidden in it -- no, if you welcome, if it is such a

    celebration, an ecstasy, if it is a benediction, then

    you need not become unconscious.

    If it is a benediction, you will become perfectly

    conscious in that moment. Remember these two things: if

    you reject, if you say no, you will become totally

    unconscious; if you accept, welcome, and say yes with

    your full heart, you will become perfectly conscious.

    Yes to death makes you perfectly conscious; no to death

    makes you perfectly unconscious -- and these are the

    two ways of dying.

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