ASCLAC part 4

  • p.s. My guy is a Scorpio, so maybe it doesn't register emotionally for him what it's like for his partner.

  • Moon - so you did kiss this guy prior to him getting married. I am trying so hard to keep everything straight. But now he is married and he is texting you you ??

  • cusp -

    I've been a bit busy, haven't been able to follow too closely.

    So he wanted you to get a male lapdance and have him watch?

    This is because he's trying to make you as guilty as he is, he wants it to be ok for him to get things like this and he's going to use the excuse that "hey you got one too" so it makes things "even"

    At least that's my take on it, what do you think cusp?

  • HELLO ALL!! I know it's been a bit since I've posted. I actually started a different thread where Captain was answering but I wanted to ask this question on this thread....How does the full moon in Aries effect Venus in Aries people???

    Thanks!!! 🙂

  • SSC -

    I have no idea lol

  • Hi Kel!

    Thank you for your input...he wants me to go to a strip club with him where the female stripper will do a lapdance for him. I would be expected to watch him get a lapdance from here, and the 'fair deal' will be that I get a lapdance from her so I can 'share the pleasure' he got from her...except I have zero sexual interest in a female stripper doing that to me. I'm more concerned about feeling like I am going through some sort of 'slow torture' by being forced to watch her perform a sexually arousing act with his body, as though they were sexual partners. It feels like manipulation of my sexual relationship with him.

    I only brought up the idea of a male stripper 'performing' to make a point about how it might feel if he was expected to go through that experience of a guy rubbing himself against my body in front of him. I have no desire whatsoever to make him experience that if it made him unhappy. I just need to let him know how that feels, so he is able to relate to that feeling.

  • Cusp - nd you are engaged to this guy ?

  • Ok so I know this is stupid..but J yelled at me in a text. Like how the hell am I supposed to know if he just got out of the dentist if I never knew he was going to begin with......geeze.

    I let it roll.....he quickly apologized, which I get, I do. We all get irritated. But dang, it really kinda hurt my feelings.

  • Now he is being vague about our plans to get together via text. This morning, I got a message that just read 'Writing..." and nothing more. I looked up the weather over there hours later (enough to be able to focus on whatever writing needs he has--he does research and writing--and discovered there would be rain that would make it harder for us to camp outside (his landlord only lets me come inside two days a week, and only with advance notice). All I got as a response was "Yep! It's that time of year!" like he could care less whether I came over or not. I have no idea what to think now. So I am not doing anything, if this is some sort of mind game to get me to act in a way he has an excuse to play the victim because I won't do what he wants.

  • Hi Taurus7,

    Yes, we are engaged...except I am wondering if that means I am supposed to prove how 'engaged' I am in his personal world as some kind of "test".

  • Kel --- I thought you knew EVERYTHING!! LMAO!!!!

  • Cusp - no offense, but I am thinking you may want to review the whole engagement thing. i am all for consensual things in a relationship. i am. But the key being 'consensual". Trying to manipulate or guilt someone into something is completely different.

    It just makes me wonder what exactly his ideas of marriage are. I say this from experience. A bad marriage gives one hindsight. Especially a very long, bad marriage.

  • Hi Taurus7,

    Thank you for your comments. Yes, it does make me think if it's worth it if this 'has' to happen in order for him to be happy with me. I wouldn't look forward to more of the same. He has a real problem taking "No" for an answer in general; he just keeps people around (as I've noticed) who can provide some other function if he can't get what he wants from them. It's kind of pointless to 'care' about such attitudes when I feel low like this (my best friend told me "So he expects you to 'understand' without an explanation...what kind of "communication" is that?); I'm not going to receive the support I need on this. I guess when he needs something from me, he'll 'let me know'. I've been tolerant but noticed the same doesn't get returned when I have a problem with something. And that's not fair.

  • Hi Taurus7,

    I typed in a response to your comments, but it seems to have disappeared so I'll recap...Yes, this kind of behavior isn't something I'd look forward to in a marriage. I've been tolerant but when I have a problem it isn't tolerated in the same way. I won't do anything because my needs aren't important enough for him and it won't do me any good.

  • Cusp - honestly, I would break it off. I know that sounds harsh, but having been there done that...I wish someone would've helped me decipher the potential problems that I saw when we were engaged, that I'll get better...we love each didn't. it only got worse, b/c we became more emotionally involved, had 3 children, then the guilt over braking up and what it will do to the kids, etc, etc, etc.....

    Let me just say, if there is not a mutual respect, it is not worth it.

  • Scorp72 - HIYA !

  • Taurus7 - HIYA!!! I'm having issues with my Taurus guy. Heres the dealio...I'm a Scorp, so you can imagine the intensity between us! lol We've been seeing each other for about 2 months but it seems like I've known him for 2 years! haha He told me within the first week that he loved me but then retracted it when I looked at him with a surprised look on my face, but it was a pleasant surprise look. We have some major trust issues because of our signs. We are both insecure! He's made comments from day one of hanging out about me seeing other guys, like "who you texting? your boyfriend?" "i better not catch you looking at any other *********** guys!" but then he says he's joking? Whatever! lol I'm completely devoted to him! I tell him every single time a guy hits on me or if an ex contacts me. But yet I've caught him talking to other girls when we've been out a couple of times. He says it's just "friendly"???? He's 10 years younger than me, so that plays a big part in maturity. But he does bring out the kid in me! lol He wants to spend almost every day with me when it's convenient for him, not me. The other day he told me like 10 times that he loves me but hasn't said it since???? And this week he's laying it on heavy with "baby" "my baby" "your baby", almost every text contains that. I'm thinking it's time for me to back off of him, I know it sounds like a game, but I'm not playing one,, I think it's just time to let him know that I'm not at his convenience and if he wants to spend time with me then he needs to start making more effort on his part. What you think?

  • Scorp72 = Scorpiosc in case you were confused by the name change lol

    SSC -

    No 😞 I know everything but that lol

    Taurus7 -

    He probably had a bad dentist appt and was irritated, let him know that it hurt your feelings and to be more careful in the future. He'll listen and take it into account in the future

  • Kel - Scorp72 and SSC are one in the same. lol I have no clue why it changes my id. lol

  • Anyone following the news lately? So many g*ay young kids are killing themselves 😞 yesterday everyone was wearing purple to bring awareness to the issue

    It's so sad, can't say I never contemplated suicide over the torture i endured in highschool, but to actually do it...craziness. I feel bad for the families of those kids

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