ASCLAC part 4



  • back from vacay...gotta catch up soon.

    lua - I'll reply to your fb message tonight

    All - I hope you're all well

    Cuspglyph - thanks for the readings! I didn't get the full descriptions so I guess it was a forum glitch. I'll come back and reply tonight as well.

    thanks all!



  • MariaRia - I'm dating an Aries, so I know how you guys are ;). Without knowing the details of your relationship and how the quiet period started, I don't know for sure...

    But what I can tell you is that a month is a very long time to not have contact.

    My Aries and I have very open communication, and at time when I try to wander away to disappear, he keeps contact, he keeps the connection going. We've been dating about 6.5 months now, so when there's a period of time when I dont hear from him, I miss him and i just communicate with him rather than pull the silence act to get his attention. But it took me a long time to get like this and not be so typical "crabby" so it would also depend on the maturity of your crab too. What's his moon, mercury and venus?


    Taurus7 - If you want to keep things as they are with your crab, then do it! ANd stick to your guns, dont rush into anything that you're not ready for because it will just crumble


    Katie -

    What happened this weekend?


    cuspglyph -

    sometimes i think that the only way to make someone understand something, is to give them a little dose of their own medicine. if he gets to do it, why cant you?


    moonbeauty -

    don't be too hard on yourself


    Lua -

    I would just tell him the truth, don't waste either of you two's time. I think direct is the best approach


    SV -

    How'd the vaca go? What'd ya do?


    Did I miss anyone?



  • Thanks Kel !! I have a question for you, a deep one. With your Aries bf, do you try not to be typically crabby b/c of your feelings for him ? B/C I think that J & I are both doing our best to be the best people we can b/c of our feelings and genuine liking of the other. Yet, we know ourselves as well.

    Does that make sense ?



  • Oh and I am keeping things the way they are ! And, he makes it very difficult for me to stick to my guns !! But I am, b/c I am a Taurus and I know what's best ! πŸ˜‰



  • Yes, that's exactly it. I know myself pretty well, and Aries has been like a mirror for me, so I see my bad behavior and the mistakes I"ve made in past relationships and I change my behavior for him, so that I'm a better person, so that we can live in happiness together. πŸ™‚

    If I only had luke-warm feelings for him, he would probably be so crazy by now that he'd have contributed another thread on this forum about Cancer males lol But also I'm at a point in my life where I just want to be happy so I'm doing a lot of inner work too



  • Katie1982,

    Sure!! Right now I am in the county where my guy lives as I type this...but I will do what I can in the meanwhile; I left my "tools" in the city but will see if the local library has the same stuff to do these charts. Stay tuned!!

    Love, Cuspglyph : )



  • Hi Kelcrab!

    Thanks for the important reminder; I have Venus in Pisces so can be too conscientious for my own good!!

    Love, Cuspglyph : )



  • Kel-That is so sweet that you are really making the effort beause of Aries, how wonderful that you met him! I think you are an enlightened crab that is willing to face things and grow. The Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela are also crabs...So there is hope for crabs..

    BTW Kel, I messaged him back right away and told him I didn't feel a connection. I never heard back.

    The pilot that disappeared re-surfaced and asked me out, I guess I will have coffee with him but now I'm interested in the Romanian guy who I spent hours chatting with last night. I got mentally stimulated by him. Maybe it's venus in Gemini..but I think he's a Gemini. Crab has been pretty silent, he's probably happy in the fact that I'm seeing him so he doesn't feel he has to get my attention right now. I'm starting to feel neutral toward crab.

    Taurus, that is great that you and J are both trying your best because you genunely like each other. That is what a relationship is about, you have to be willing to bend for the other, grow, as Kel saids aries was a mirror for him and he is working hard to be a better person. But both people have to be willing. In my crab's case he is still very selfish and wants everything his way. I was willing to bend for him, put my Leo pride aside but he doesn't and I am not going to wait around forever in this back and forth game when there are other men out there that are willing to be more giving.



  • Lua - I think you did the t=right thing with the boring dude. Not that he is a probably a bad guy, not just for you !! I cannot wait to hear more about this new guy !! He sounds exciting !! To be mentally stimulated is a good thing !!



  • Awww Lua!!! πŸ™‚

    You sound like you're moving on πŸ™‚

    Keep us updated with the Gemini and disappearing pilot dude



  • errghh...so I went home and passed out cause I was dead tired...I have a date tonight with Pisces, we're going to the fair! πŸ™‚

    Fried beer here I come! LOL...gotta love TX... πŸ™‚

    I'll catch up soon.

    Kel - vacay was AWESOME! Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. I think you'd looove it!! I'll post pics on FB soon.



  • Hey Everyone!

    Taurus>> Katie - 2 crabs ??? Oh lord have mercy !! lol

    Katie: It’s not another crab, h-ell no. The other is a Cappy, if you ask me, doesnt seem as an easy person either.


    Lua>> Katie:A cappy? Interesting weekend?

    Now I am curious.

    My weekend got a lot better. I met an intresting person, only onlie so far. I think Gemini..

    And he is from near you Katie, from Romania!!

    Do you know anything about Romanian men?

    Katie: Hey Lua! Yes a cappy, a cappy from my past long time back. It’s just that i met him with a couple of other friends and he made me think, we still have that special buzz between us.

    I cant tell you much about Romanian men as i really try to avoid them. It’s neighbor country but Hungarian and Romanian people famously loathe each other... well, has to do with history... so i cant tell you anything, but im not negative, he could be very nice and intelligent. πŸ™‚ Where does he live in Romania? And gosh... what can you do with this? You are pretty far away from each other.


    Kel>> Katie - What happened this weekend?

    Katie: Hey Kel! What i told to Lua, i just met him and we had a very nice night partying and having fun.


    Cuspglyph>> Katie1982,

    Sure!! Right now I am in the county where my guy lives as I type this...but I will do what I can in the meanwhile; I left my "tools" in the city but will see if the local library has the same stuff to do these charts. Stay tuned!!

    Love, Cuspglyph : )

    Katie: Hey Cusp! You are too nice. But please dont go to the library or anthing complicated. It is absolutely not urgent, i can wait until you get home and have time to do it in peace. πŸ™‚ just enjoy your stay at your guy! πŸ™‚



  • Taurus-Yeah, boring dude was probably a nice guy, I mean he wasn't irritating or obnoxious or anything...I forgot that I've had worse dates....he was even too boring to have as a friend...that Leo I went out with in August was at least fun to talk to and we had a lot of good convos...the other guy is much more interesting..

    kel-I hope I am moving on but maybe not completely because I still come home and check for crabmail...he hasn't been sending me those daily crabmails any more and I miss them..

    I went out to dinner, not coffee with the disappearing pilot tonight. He was nice, he disappeared because he was busy..I forgot to ask him when his birthday is..He also works as a freelance translator like me..he saids he's gone alot, sometimes for a week..he flies to the US, etc..Dating him would be worse than dating crab if we lived in the same city. He also knows one of the other pilots I know that lives here, of course small island....he's leaving end of this week and won't be bad until the day after I leave for Manila..sounds like he wants to go out again..or he might disappear, lol..

    If nothing, going out with these guys is helping me move on I hope..at least I'm not home checking my email every 10 minutes to see if crab emailed me..

    SV-welcome back, glad you had a good vacay! You are a busy girl, you just got back and now you have a date with Pisces, haha

    Katie-that's funny Hungarians and Romanians loathe each other? Kinda like Brazilians and Argentinians..no, it's Argentinians and the rest of South America, lol..Koreans and Japanese may be a better example, that has to do with history. I know I can't do anything with this..it's worse than here and HK..at least that is in the same continent..well sort of...it would be just 2 months of going out for nice times and that's it..but I don't feel like there's anything wrong with that as long as I don't fall for him. He's from Bucharest. He works for a multi-national company that sent him here for a few months. He travels international a lot for work. That's my problem Katie, I already know most of the people who are from here or lived here a long time..they have an island mentality that is a bit boring for me. I am attracted to foreigners that have different ways of thinking, people who have traveled, who have knowlege about many things, and that means they are not here for long...2 months is actually longer, the South African guy was here only a few days..

    So Katie, as for the cappy, is the buzz good or bad in your opinion? Hope you had fun.



  • Hi Katie!

    I enjoy doing these charts; it can be an invaluable way to see what is possible to work on in certain areas...my pleasure!!

    Hi Kel,

    So far we have been more direct in our communication; I heard an l.m. last night that contradicted what he usually did the morning he was supposed to go to a weekly meeting...he actually had 'slept in' via his buddy's message! So I picked up my stuff and was on my way out--but he wanted to hear why. He actually clarified his last relationship, the one where his ex cheated on him...she had been upfront about being non-monogamous...I think he was in a masochistic phase then, because he had continued to sleep with her (but couldn't 'perform').

    He had a strong need to 'prove' himself against other men but really couldn't handle it in the end. He stayed away from intimate relationships after that. We were able to be more open about disappointments and rationalizations for his 'no strings' approach to future relationships that left me feeling used and confused!



  • p.s.

    We'd originally discussed this issue the first night I visited in his backyard (this week), when I told him-- back when we first met-- that I thought he 'knew what it was like to be hurt' when he'd told me about that cheating ex of his...now he wanted to sit down and tell me how he felt during the process. That certainly helped! He was understandably nervous afterwards, but we felt closer after that.

    Up until now, I thought he shared her approach to relationships and was endlessly trying to justify that to me via his 'loosen up' attitude to random encounters. But it takes a lot for him to sleep with a woman, period!! Of course, all during the while we dated it was "I love touching you but I still don't know what I want!" (I guess oxytocin in women didn't register, and I sometimes wonder if it does!) I had to draw the line when I couldn't be 'just friends' and go through this stuff. I can see where the 'no strings' approach fills a need (like less emotional investment) but he needed to know that that didn't fill my need and I had a right to move on if I didn't want to go along with that approach. I know I wanted him; he just felt he couldn't be that guy...so much easier to get what you need in a less complicated way! But it takes two to tango...



  • J and I had an amazing day today. A break through, if you will. So, I have this new question. Since I am a taurus, i have no problem communicating what I see, feel think, etc. And, some one did say (kel ?/) crabs love to be talked to in depth.

    Well, one thing I noticed was, J was never quite sure what to make of my..let's just say eloquence ...LOL ( sorry, that made me laugh) so, this has been going on for about 2 months. He and I both ha a great day on saturday and I told him, never doubt what I say, b/c I mean it.

    Ok, so FF to today, he had a horrible football night, he looked so exhausted and run down and just flat out sad.

    So, in texts, I told him how I see him. In detail, yet it was simple. How I told him the man I trust, respect, admire and like is the same man who pours himself not only into his children but other children as well. ( oh, b/c he was ready to quit coaching) I told him that I understood that the frustration is great, yet, the reward is so high !! You have made a lasting impression on these kids. That they have grown to respect, admire and love you !! And that is ALWAYS a great thing.

    I also told him that I admired how he had the courage to say what so many people would only think. And that that man, that I see, is the man that I do not hesitate to make lunch for, stand up for, encourage and well...be his lover. And, I told him he had an amazing lover !! lol

    And well....this is the weird part, now mind you, they were only texts, but I could feel the walls coming down. I could even feel his love if that is possible. Don't ask me how, I just could. Then, I left him alone with his thoughts. Told him to go home, take a shower, relax and sleep.

    i know that I am crazy, not in a bad sort of way, but a fun way....but....any and all comments regarding this are genuinely appreciated. B/C when I knew that I could feel his heart melting, something was going on...

    Either

    A...I have lost my damn mind

    or

    B....is it truly possible that I have found love the way I have always thuoght it should be ?/

    or...refer back to A !! lol

    i need a drink !1 Oh wait...i have one...:)



  • Taurus7 -

    AWWWWWWW!!!! πŸ™‚ I vote for B! I'm so happy for you

    cuspglyph -

    I'm a little confused, what is the status of your relationship now? I thought you two were engaged?

    Lua -

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! There's gotta be someone on that island that isn't a total b*oob lol

    Katie -

    Oh la laaaaaaaa

    SV -

    Stop working so hard lol


    I have a client coming in the office tomorrow, I am kinda stressing out lol I picked out this really professional looking outfit but also makes me look really cute πŸ˜‰



  • kelcrab -Oh, we aren't official. It's...well. Complicated. LOL.

    And umm....damn let me see. I have no idea what time he was born, I put my best guestimate LOL and came out with Sun -Cancer, Moon - Capricorn( i feel like thats wrong...) and Rising -Gemini (this would make a lot of sense actually.)

    The thing with him, is he kept spewing that "i'm not ready for a relationship" business, but he would never, ever let me go. And he got SO jealous everytime I talked to guys. We never had an open relationship or anything like that, mostly because he refused to do it (probably because he knew that wasnt what I really wanted and it would probably just cause pain) but we did have many intimate moments together (not sex. No sir.) and have spent a lot of time together.

    So....thats like...our insane history in a very tight nutshell. He was very distant with me when he found out I was quitting....and I'm very disappointed with the lack of communication from him. I have touched base with him a few times, but each time he hasn't taken it anywhere and it's mostly been casual. Actually, I asked him if he was going to keep in touch, and he didn't answer. So....any logical woman would assume he wasn't interested. However, I've read up too much on Cancers and this is basically what has happened to a lot of women dealing with them. Also....I've heard him say, himself, far too many times: She never messages me, she hasn't messaged me in months (referring to other women in the past) so it seems he's always waiting for the other person to initiate things...

    Anyway. Yah. LOL. I dont even know what advice I'm looking for. He hides all his feelings from me....except jealousy, LOL. And hurt.



  • Kel, total bo*ob hahaha. yeah, the pilot was just ok..cute but sounds like he's mostly likely to disappear...he saids he hasn't been in a relationship lately because his career is important..sounds like my crab.. Romanian will be gone in December..maybe he's not a Gemini. I stalked on FB and found 3 guys with his name, one was definitely not him, one had a tiny pic that kinda looked like him and the birthday was may 30. The other didn't have a person's pic on it , just a drawing, but when I typed in his email address the one with the drawing came up and it didn't have his birthday. He had alot of nice pics, he likes to travel, pics all over Europe, Rome, Greece, etc..lol I'm such a stalker.

    Taurus, it's funny sometimes I feel like after so many disappointments so many people feel like we don't deserve happiness and love or we can;t believe it's real when it happens...or it will end soon..why do we think that way? Embrace it Taurus, believe it and enjoy it, yes, love is possible but not believing it can send it away so beleive it and embrace it with all your heart!!!

    Meeting the Romanian guy in person tonight after many days of chatting with him online..I came home from dinner with the pilot and chatted with the Romanian guy after...now a Spanish guy raised in Peru and the US is chatting with me in Spanish..I'm a busy girl..lol

    MariaRia,

    Your crab sounds like mine, saying he's not ready for a relationship but not letting you go..except the jealousy...if he's jealous he hasn't shown it but I never talked to other guys, talked about other guys around him..although he's talked about other women, but in a complaining way..Chinese women are ugly, have no body etc...I feel like they are so selfish, they don't want to commit to a relationship but they don't want to let you go...I finally decided not to wait around for him and started dated other guys.

    And the not keeping in touch thing..any woman would assume he wasn't interested..you would think a man would keep in touch if they were interested..but I'm getting the feeling that cancer guys are an exception, sometimes he wants the woman to be the one to call, message etc...He wouldn't call me unless I ask him to, he keeps skype on all day trying to get me to call yet he won't call me, when I finally called him he seemed really happy to hear from me...I told him he can call me too, but he won't...sometimes I feel like I am dealing with an autistic child!!



  • Lua - cannot wait to hear about Romanian guy !!


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