ASCLAC part 4



  • Probably, it's probaly from the delay in calling him...

    By backing off you will initially hurt him more but you'll give him space to get through his mood

    or the alternative is to just give in and chase him, he wants you to chase him and is getting mad that you are not trying harder. Seems like a big ego trip to me, so just be careful



  • just popping in to say hi! I'll catch up more tonight...

    Lua - I agree with Kel. he's playing head games...ugh...it makes me sick...and quite anxious, even though it's not even my situation. just thinking about it makes me so out of place...dont know how else to explain it.

    I would just stop. Kel told me like a week or two ago, and I dont know if you read it, but this shouldn't be that hard. relationships/dating/getting someone's attention should not be like pulling teeth or saying something to catch their attention to keep them in conversation longer. they should actually WANT to talk to you instead of going back and forth and playing all these da*mn head games....ugh...it's just sickening to me...

    maybe I'm just slowly but surely seeing the light... 😞



  • Aww SV! 🙂 I think you are seeing the light, you're doing great!

    SV -

    Sooo if you don't mind, I posted a convo with Scorp. NOw I know I know I shouldn't really care, and I have moved on from him and he's blocked for good. But did he do this because he was mad? So scorp made me a copy of his dad's cd weeks ago, he told me to come get it. ANd i kept saying sure sure I'll come by, I never intended to go to his house, I would take teh CD if he met me out in public and gave it to me.

    Then last friday he told me he got the new "Halo" game for XBox and told me I should come over to play it. I think that he though I would totally jump at the opportunity and come right over to play it. But I didn't, I have no intentions of going over there alone because I know that he would try something, he's a sneak. SO I'm thinking since both of his attempts didn't work that he got a little mad lol and that's where those comments came from. Any thoughts?

    How are things with you ,post an update soon!

    Moon, Katie -

    Read what I wrote to SV and the SCorp convo, anything you guys want to say about it?

    Taurus7 -

    I think you might have overreacted a bit...to me not feeling well is the same as feeling too tired to move from bed. He's just exhausted. I think maybe the stuff with your ex seeped in here and I think he might deserve an explanation for your behavior. I told you, we LOVVEEE deep talks lol So if you sit him down adn say, hey listen, my ex used to pull this stuff with me and it really hurts and puts me on guard, in the future I would appreciate the truth, if you don't feel like going ok, it's ok to tell me, I wont be mad. At the core of it, we Cancers don't like to let people down, it eats at us, he was probably afraid to let you down 😞 but was just spread too thin at the moment



  • Actually...I dont want an interpretation of what went on with Scorp...I think I'm just looking for the last laugh...haha scorp - I win, you lose...so we'll just end it with, he's a scumbag and he's blocked. He didn't respect me or my relationship, so he's gone, talking about him more just keeps him fresh in my mind which isn't helpful.



  • Kel>> i dont have anything specific to say about your convo with scorp. rather a general thing, but imo it applies to him as it applies to Lua's crab and (my) crab and so on...

    people rarely change. but in case they do, it has to come within themselves not for the pressure of someone else. and well... most of the people don't have the strenght to change, or they are just too coward or lazy to try... until people don't try to change, they won't have new 'tools' to use in person to person communication, so instead of trying to be upfront and honest, they will use the same sneaky 'tools' over and over again.

    if you take yourself out of the situation, out of the spell they try to work on you, you realize that they are pitiful and pathetic.

    so i think your scorp is - like a lot of other people - are too comfortable in their misery and he tries the same sneaky thing on you over and over again. im glad his spell does not work on you anymore.

    and as i see him from all the things you tell about him... i dont think he is worth of your time and effort at all... not even as a friend, cause see... this is funny with them... they are too coward or too whatever (you name it) to get into an honest relationship with you, but they are too egoistic, in a way they still -against all odds- love you and so they are not even able for an honest friendship. the best thing with them, imho is to cut ALL ties and never look back. (except if some miracle happens and they initiate something really honest and direct towards you)... well this is only my opinion.

    ps. a more direct opinion to your convo... i would think that he is angry cause he feels impotent in putting that spell on you again... he is angry, but back to the above (and now repeating myself) he is too coward or whatever (you name it LOL) to come straight to you and say: "i lke/love you seriously, im just a dumbf-uck who was/is too afraid..."

    with these people, there is no cure. 😞



  • Thank you Katie, I love when you respond 🙂

    I can see the Aqua-side of you come out here, you're very big picture, and I like it. It's what I need to hear

    ANd you're absolutely right, my Scorp isn't too different from your crab in that respect. And you're right, it was stupid of me to think that I could have a real friendship with him, we have so many things in common that a friendship with him could be fun and worthwhile...but the way he is now...ugh...but whatever at least I finally have an answer. I can't have ANYTHING with him, not even a passing acquaintance with him. He can sit in his misery, he doesn't want to act like an adult, so whatever, its done. Thank you Katie for your insight 🙂



  • You know...he is pathetic and a coward. If he would just talk to me directly (HA! a crab asking someone to be direct! how ironic! but hey maybe its the lesson I needed to learn - be direct!), we could hammer out something, a friendship and I wouldn't be so wishy washy with him, but instead he chooses the cowards route

    I imagine that this is similar to what you feel Katie

    But isn't it empowering? Doesn't it show you how much of a prize you are and give you clarity on how you want to be treated? Everytime Scorp does something like this, it just makes me more confident on the type of treatment I deserve and who to stay away from. It's all a learning experience, it's also stupid of him too because it makes me value Aries THAT much more 🙂

    I do feel a little silly for extending my hand to Scorp in friendship, he didn't even deserve that from me, but I was willing to give it to him. So whatever he stung my hand and now he will live a life alone.



  • Kel>> you are welcome. as much as you helped me and are still helping... it is nothing for me, and anyways, if you had never helped me, i would help you the same way. LOL what are (cyber) friends for.

    anyways, i just wrote you a pathetic mail... im kind of sad now, i shouldnt have done what i have done. urrggggghhh... whatever. walking on walking on, NEVER looking back!!! 😞

    yes that is the way i feel Kel, exactly how you say... and it is empowering, BUT as i realized today (again!), the only way it works is if you throw out all those positive memories and just pretend like they never happened, you always remind yourself of the hurt and confusion they caused you and just walk on and really NEVER look back... it is hard at times, cause we humans tend to go back to those memories and then get the heartache again and starting to ask the "what if..." questions... urgghhhh downward spiral!

    i want that guy from my dream!!!!! 😞 ok i shut up now and go to bed and go on reading my book.

    ps. dont ever feel silly for extending your hand to a person in friendship!!!! the fact that they dont deserve it does NOT put you in bad light, in the contrary it just shows what a good person you are!

    as Shorty would say: Love and Light! 🙂



  • Hi all. kel, katie & lua I have that reunion pic I will post on my fake face book. Please keep in mind... I was hammered at this point! ..lol..

    Oh, and no sharing with the public please ..lol..



  • SV, do you have a fake face book?



  • Hey all I'mmmmBAaaaack 🙂

    
    Adventure Hi sweetie glad U are doing okay :) it will get better one way or another
    
    

    Taurus7-"OMG what have I gotten myself into ?? Bill Murrays groundhog day ?? "

    that is the way with a crab I dealt with one for over 20yrs off and on and now finally over I hope<<praying>></praying>

    
    MOON/ SV- yes I am def going to H<ll no="" way="" about="" it="" on="" an="" express="" ticket="" ...heehee="" :)still="" having="" fun="" with="" scorp...="" i="" think="" most="" scorps="" are="" in="" the="" mood="" to="" be="" @least="" female="" getting="" attention="" we="" sooooo="" wanting="" now...="" sv="" don't="" feel="" alone...="" but="" do="" enjoy="" <<wiccked="" grin="">> we be Evil together and Moon U feel welcome to join us ;) Moon hey friend me with fake to my fake find me thru kel hee...hee and BTW young/ "Fresh " meat is oooooooh
    
    soooooooo good don't knock it til U try it ;) another notch lower I go to H <ll ...heehee<br="">~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    
    Kel- "Sooo if you don't mind, I posted a convo with Scorp. NOw I know I know I shouldn't really care, and I have moved on from him and he's blocked for good. But did he do this because he was mad? So scorp made me a copy of his dad's cd weeks ago, he told me to come get it. ANd i kept saying sure sure I'll come by, I never intended to go to his house, I would take teh CD if he met me out in public and gave it to me.</ll></ll>
    
    Then last friday he told me he got the new "Halo" game for XBox and told me I should come over to play it. I think that he though I would totally jump at the opportunity and come right over to play it. But I didn't, I have no intentions of going over there alone because I know that he would try something, he's a sneak. SO I'm thinking since both of his attempts didn't work that he got a little mad lol and that's where those comments came from. Any thoughts?"
    
    we hate to be ignored yes he is mad but I read convo he is feeling sorry for himself and wants a boost U handled it good block him... he counted on U as EGO boost and only way he will take hint that U and Aries are serious is tough love simply put we need it sometimes to get our act together. we are hard headed this is a learning experience he will one day actually thank U for :) maybe not out loud but internally :) and Kel never feel guilty for extending hand in friendship it is always good... like I said he will learn from this however we are slow sulky learners :(
    
    can U friend suggest to either me or moon TY
    
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    
    Katie-"people rarely change. but in case they do, it has to come within themselves not for the pressure of someone else. and well... most of the people don't have the strenght to change, or they are just too coward or lazy to try... until people don't try to change, they won't have new 'tools' to use in person to person communication, so instead of trying to be upfront and honest, they will use the same sneaky 'tools' over and over again."
    
    exactly why I kept myself off market as long as I did I needed change from within me... and time and space to do it... I started off mopey and grumpy hating world and all in it to now I feel free I love my life I love me and that is what being able to get in a true relationship is no matter sign we all need to quit relying on others to feel love and learn to love ourselves and be willing to be there for our selves 1st to love ourselves I showed others unconditional love but didn't do same for me allow myself to let it go and forgive and love myself. stand up for me now I am and can do all that :) I am not settling for anything :)
    
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    
    okay I have another long post next
    
    sorry :)<<sheepish grin="">>
    
    lilbit</sheepish>


  • okies Now all about what is going on with me

    about the age difference I am no cougar mind U either. I am not minding it as much age difference to a point(after all we are all grownups and if it is meant 2b then it is if not it is not). older as long as they are not nursing home material and not more than 10 yrs younger all caus e h

    So, now to the MEAT of the Matter...heehee

    I do have to say scorpio is a real ego boost for me right now most we have done is kiss and play but no s<x we="" flirt="" massively="" i="" love="" it...="" also="" have="" a="" couple="" new="" admirers="" but="" not="" as="" much="" fun="" scorpio="" yet="" ;)="" and="" da#n="" he="" has="" rockin="" bod="" yum!!="" seen="" me="" without="" makeup="" ...lol="" still="" tells="" how="" wants="" to="" eat="" up="" rock="" my="" world="" etc...="" see="" scorpios="" are="" just="" s<x...="" s<x="" ...="" lmao...="" not!="" knows="" what="" want="" in="" life="" that="" is="" focus="" on="" studies="" career="" going="" do="" the="" deed="" get="" satisfaction="" either(i="" can="" it="" all="" by="" meself="" if="" needed)...="" know="" thinks="" feels="" gradually="" wear="" down...heehee="" clueless="" <<wicked="" side="" coming="" out="">>

    
    Aries well still mild communication that is it he is such a sweet heart :) however I know men in general do not like to look vulnerable and @ this point in his life he is he needs friends more :) not sure if he reads so will not post why he pushed me away.
    
    

    next part is cause I need get this off my chest so to speak and here is only place I feel I can and hopefully maybe it might bring closure for some :)</x>

    My poor cancer, I have not seen since last week ,I was worried that he might think I was stalking him...lol with meditation thing. I mentioned it to son.and since I start meditation next week son and daughter in law 2B have suggested they should go to 1st one that way he can not say I was stalking him...lol(he knows me and son do alot together/ I am such a child @ heart) and then not go again after that 1st time (this meditation is open to public not any one religion is set foremost why I picked it. and yes MOON Heehee point of meditation is to learn focus and concentrate... haha I will B focusing on the process but I am sure I will feel his presence...

    I still don't get whole situation(but am slowly getting out of my fog when it comes to it)...

    everyone says it is cause he was interested and I pushed him into friend catagory which yes EGO BLOW but I am just gradually getting out there and needed the time and space to figure me outI was not ready ...

    I get now he was into me as all the signs were there and pointed out to me he gave me jewelry I was going to buy for myself that I said I liked. He called outings we went on just two of us or even when son was there dates... he even told me once "he is tired of looking at menu he knows exactly what he wants"... I told him I am still searching it was during one of our talks that somehow ended up on relationships everytime.

    he has asked me if I would ever be interested in a good guy like him: and when I joked with him "what am I going to do with U?" he said "be patient with me" and I said "I suck @ patience" he says "I know" well, I know now I gave very mixed signals looking back hindsight 20/20 (perfect vision)

    and He asked me sooo many times a couple days B4 his blow up @ me "What do You want lilbit?" I kept saying "IDK" "I am not ready Yet" he wanted patience and then ran amuck, cornered me,

    heck when I got hurt(got burnt by oven) and he nursed me, we joked and he told me "ur my hot date" and said later said "I will be there anytime U need me'... he did things for me, told me and showed me he wanted me to know I could count on him UGH!!<<growling in="" frustration="">> and even became friends with 2 of my 3 kids and still has them on FB as friends .... I feel like such a sh!t :(</growling>

    In my defense I was not ready I tried to tell him I would say it I need time B4 I get involved again. and because I did like him/ and still doing work on me I gave mixed signals and then add my normal flirtatiousness and just be nice behavior to top off well I tore up cancer.

    < :(>>

    _And then,to make it worse I pushed him into friend zone he made me nervous enough<<dizzy tizzy="">> as it is and I used age thing as my reason {he is same age as scorpio(another reason I am sooooooo going to H</dizzy>

    heck, Cancer is a very attractive inside and out. we have alot in common and got along wonderfully and lets be honest more relationship material guy he was one to vault... keep safe for later like Moon would say he was my dog bone I buried in safe special place for when I was ready I sound like such a man lol... but that is scorpio mentality...

    to late now I lost my bone my weed eater ate it 😞 and spit it out 😞 what is said and done time to go forward. I need to.:) I needed to clear my mind and not keep bottled up.

    Okay lesson for the day:

    guys/gals when we scorps are not ready and pushed we strike I was doing final leg work minding my own business in my own little world UGH!! I was on track healing my wounds, we don't like to be rushed doesn't mean we are heartless and cruel just not capable I needed nuture, not more, not less... I needed time and space I wanted to keep him in my vault with all my other PRECIOUS I will admit; he didn't want that. so obvious now...

    (reason, why I find such ease with scorpio NO strings attached and yet He is fun to be around... and he is EGO boost for me and I for him.) plus, I was afraid that I might attach feelings for excrab on to him... big NO NO in my book I needed time <<sighs and="" shrugs="">> I wanted to make sure I was over excrab</sighs>

    ... @ least I know I have had alot of mental growing to do over last year, and I am Happy with me finally 🙂 and I believe in time of mourning a relationship good bad or fugly and that is what I was doing... now I know what I want in a real relationship I can freely feel free to go for it heehee 🙂 I will play field til he comes along the one to sweep me off my feet I know now it is possible:) one day 🙂 Happy thoughts:)

    Peace and Blessings filled with Love and Light and of course XHUGSX all around

    Lilbit aka Shorty_



  • I didn't call. He emailed me after he went off skype, but I still didn't call.

    SV-you are right, this is just such non-sense, if he wants to talk to me why doesn't he just call me? He knew I was home, he knew i was online, he could have called me on skype or even on my cell!! WTF is wrong with this crab?

    I've also been ignoring the Italian crab. There's another guy messaging me a lot lately, but I don't know what his sign is.



  • hey Lua- I suck when it comes to cancers... but they are everywhere 🙂 ... how are U doing read about competition... sorry to hear. I do however have U and ur help with my losing weight and getting toned appreciate it 🙂

    XHUGSX

    lilbit



  • Kel - maybe i was to harsh, but daggoneit !! Anyway, after I had texted him, here is how the convo went

    J - you are stressing me out

    me - sorry that was not my intention

    then time gap

    me - I will bring you your lunch

    J - thanks

    time gap

    J - babe, that pie was good ( leftover from his lunch yesterday)

    me - ya..i told you

    time gap

    me - where are you ?

    J- where I was yesterday ??

    me - ummm..I gave you your lunch in the ffice yesterday ?

    J- Oh ? What did I have yesterday /

    me - um...um sandwhcih, apples..?

    J- oh

    Me- are you "blank"

    J - ya where are you 'blank'

    Me - i think so ?

    So, minutes later, i get there..i had a bad argument with my supervisor, I texted him that, b/c i was still crying and i could not stop so i prepared him...I pull up, he meets me, leans in shuts off my car, which, i am still not sure how I feel about that, then proceeds to ask me what happened, i tell him. Of course he is on my side. Of course he is on my side and now mad that i am so upset. So, that leads to make up date tonight, which led to incredible make up S**..which i am totally ok with.

    But I will apologize to him and fill him in !! Not fair of me, but i do not want him thinking that I am in any way shape or form comparing him to my ex. That would really hurt him. he is nothing like my ex, so i have to be careful !!

    lilbit - thank you for your reply and let me just say...dang girl !! You have many irons in the fire !! lol

    SV - If I were you, I would NOT give into your crabs games. From what little I know of you..you seem totally amazing !! He can call you and he should if he has half a brain !

    Kel - same for you regarding your scorp ! For someone so sound and kind and offering as your are...you deserve tons better !!

    Moon - I am thinking 9/10 years really not that big of a deal !!

    Katie - nice to get to know you !! You too are far too beyond the games of your cancer guy.

    To everyone - i think i did not take enough time, like lilbit mentioned, to heal myself before I started to see J. Now, all I can do, is humble myself, share my inner most fears with him and see if he will allow me time to heal. I think he will. Simply b/c I think he may know this more than me. i cannot believe I just said/admitted that. But I know he is super cautious of my feelings. In some weird kinda way, it is almost as if my feelings have become his. Is this another thing you cancers do ? I am used to doing this myself for other people, but I am not used to someone doing it for me. Strange how life works.



  • I just have to add, I HATE being vulnerable. i do. And dang it, that is where this is headed. i feel it. i would rather walk on hot coals.....note to self....remember this....lol



  • Good morning everyone!

    Moonieeeeeeeeeee!

    you are such a beautiful cutie! not a surprise that young crab neighbor is so hot for you. LOL i kept your person and the circumstances in secret, BUT just simply showed your photo to my work mate and asked her: how old do you think she is? and she thought for a moment and said: around 25? LOL so there you have it, a nice ego boost!

    oh and how is writing going?


    Hey Shorty!

    scorp guy sounds fun! glad that you bumped into someone who gives you what you want right now and does not push for more. so i say, keep on playin! 🙂

    this aries person, i COMPLETELY missed, so i dont know what’s all about him.

    and young crab guy: i understand that he approached you with honesty and told you straight what he wants, but still… if you were not ready and told him that too… you are not to blame for anything.

    i mean, even not so that you gave mixed signals as you state.

    it’s like my exbf… i told him several uncountable times already that i wanna be left alone, that i dont wanna hook up with him again, dont wanna try it all with him again.

    and then he calls me almost daily (while he is also running after another girl) and we talk, chit-chat friendly and all. and then sometimes his cables cross in his head and starts to call me at 6am and tell me stuff like he wants to get back and that i screw with his head cause i give this signs while we talk and im so cute and all and that’s cause i still want him i just dont DARE to give him another chance…

    and then i think… wtf? should i tell him bluntly to f-ck off? i mean of course i am nice and cute cause that is how i am generally with people who are inside my comfort zone, whom i trust. but that does not mean that i wanna be in a relationship with them.

    so yes, mixed signs can be, cause we ourselves are debating inside all the time about what we want, but it is so wrong for men to think that if a woman says ’no’, she actually means ’yes’. LOL

    anyways, im sorry if it makes you sad, all that happened between you and him… but i guess it is not completely hopeless, or is it? i mean for the future…


    Lua! hey girl! how are you? more rested already? and did you enjoy ice-cream and all kinds of nasty food? i hope you gave yourself a treat! 😄

    that crab of yours is killin me. LOL you should tell him to finally decide what the heck he wants… i mean he cant even decide on a such tiny matter???

    oh and are you putting new pics of yourself on FB??? let me know when you do! i wanna see the difference!


    Hi Taurus! glad to know you too! and honestly wish you all the good luck and hope you from the few will succeed! 🙂


    hey SV, OL! what's with you guys? busy?


    and Adventure! if you are reading, we always miss you! hope couses and life treats you good!


    Hey FLOW! the same to you! we - moreover the 'old' ones - think of you a lot! hope you are fine and keeping busy!



  • Moon!! I saw your pic! You are so cute and you look about 25!! So even if you go out with the 29 year old, he'll look older than you!!

    Hi Katie, how are things? I haven't eaten a lot of nasty food yet, lol. I did buy some ice ream today but it is so sweet to me i can only eat about 2 spoonfuls at one time. i did have some pasta with cream sauce, chocolate and some cheesecake but too much sugar makes me sick ,so enough already!! I'm waiting for my friend to send pictures. She went back to Japan but supposed to send me some back stage pics.

    I give up on crab, he was on skype all night so I finally called him and he won't answer!! Enough of this phone game, he can go to h** or call me if he wants to talk.



  • Moon!

    I saw your pic! Wow you really do look young 🙂

    Scorp's loss, it really is, d*amn girl 🙂


    Lilshorty

    Thank you for the Scorp convo translation! I friend suggested you and Moon 🙂

    Read the Scorp/Aries/Cancer update....sad about the Cancer. Seems liek a good guy/bad timing situation. But it's good to see you out on your own, I think too often we jump back into relationships too quickly

    Have fun with the Scorp 😉 but be careful! hehehe


    Taurus7 -

    Keeping open communcation is really the only way for any relationship to work regardless of sign, so tell him eventually what's going on

    "it is almost as if my feelings have become his. Is this another thing you cancers do ?"

    Yes, we are notorious empathizers we take on other's feelings. The steteotype is taht we're sponges, we take on everyone else's emotions and its draining so we disappear for awhile to recharge (shell time)

    Be sure that your crab hates being vulnerable too lol


    I am leaving work early tomorrow and will be running around like crazy tonight, so I probably wont be checking in before I leave for the wedding. Soooo see you guys sunday! Be good 🙂



  • Hi all, awwwwwww.... you all just SO gave me an ego boost! thank you!!!!!!!!!! I'll catch up soon. I am trying to post 2 more photos I was emailed... ones where I am sober ...lol... and I look sober ...lol... and I'm standing as I want lua to give me some thigh advice but I am having difficulty opening them.

    Thanks BTW this one was eh/eh but I like it because I have a big smile and it looks like I am having fun... which i did ..lol.. the other one I am smiling a drop... and the third (standing one) I am looking down at my heels.

    brb

    Kel, OMG with the whole scorp convo! I'll BRB.


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