ASCLAC part 4
Yes, let's stay with what we had.
If it's not broken... don't fix it.
Did you see Adventure's new take on the letters?
is this the new thread? already? what happened? can I get an update?? I'm so confused!
by the way...just wanted to let you guys know....I've been havig dreams about crab...for like 2-3 days now....I have no real feelings for either of the guys I'm dating...why am I doing any of this? do I just need more time? why can't I get over this? what does it mean? Gemini and Pisces are SUUUCCHH sweet guys and they are such gentlemen....so why do I still have Cancer boy in my heart? I hate this feeling...I hate stringing the other two along...I already feel and know like its not going to work out because I dont have feelings for them....I just don't get it...
can someone PLEASE give me a days of our lives update...PLEASE PLEASE!!! with whipped cream and cherries on top!!!
Moon - I see you have a meeting coming up with scorp? what's going on? did he contact you?? I'm so lost!!!
ASCLAC part 4... Anonymous Scorpio, Cancer, Libra, Aries (advice) Club...
Adventure... I LOVE IT!
I'm giving up on Scorp.
I'll meet him on Tuesday... he does not know it but it's so I can say goodbye in my heart. I cant do this anymore.
Time to move on... the difference is... I'm wiser this time... for the next scorp that crosses my path...
Here it is !! Can i just jump in ?/ Scorp..when you firgure out what the elusvice cancers attraction is, will you please let me know ?? This stumps me as well. I have never wanted or felt like I needed someone as bad as him.
Moon - let Tuesday's meeting pass and then assess how you feel and where you want to take it. I think you might be jumping the gun a little bit. did HE say he wanted to meet up or was it you?
Hi Taurus7 - lol....I dont think I'll ever know...he's been in my heart since I met him a year and a half ago...we stopped talking all together, NO CONTACT, in February....he's still in my heart...what's your story?
I had an exhausting weekend, I'll try to catch up tomorrow. I have so much to do this week to get ready for my vacation next week, so I'll be on and off all week
I'll respond to this for now:
Kel, I am trying to figure out if this is a cancer thing or a moonbeauty thing...
Do you have a hard time of letting people go? Even when you are getting hurt by them?
Yes I do. But it depends, if they hurt me right in the beginnign like right when I'm getting to know them, I just pull away and don't bother anymore. If they became my friend and THEN started to hurt me, then yea I don't usually let them go, but I will keep my distance
I know most women would have been fed up with my scorp, even my BFF's call him super toxic and almost REFUSE to discuss him with me.
I really am trying to figure out why am being like this with this man.
It's not that I cant meet other people, Land guy? I blew him off on thursday because I was talking to scorp then when I got off the phone with scorp I was so deep in thought I couldnt call land guy back.
Now? I dont even want to call him back.
AND HE'S A NICE GUY.
I was the same way with my dead aries ex and my first Aries BF.
My dead Aries ex... he would do f-ed up things... NOT NEARLY as f-ed up as scorp... and the same thing... I always felt a "connection".
I know this sounds crazy and it's not because they treat me bad because my ex husband did that and I dont want him back.... but with scorp... i dunno... there is such a deep soft spot for him in my heart.
and it's not "you always want what you cant have" because when I "had" him... I was happy.
I never even gave another man a second glance.
It's like he has my heart and I dont know how to get it back...
I know I sound crazy... but... a part of me still thinks he's my guy... good or bad... he's it... he's my guy.
AM I F-ING CRAZY?
Maybe a little lol, but isn't that what love does to all of us?
Kel, has this ever happend to you???
Well yes...with my Scorp lol You know the story, but at the end of the day, I realized that it was easier for me to chase someone who was emotoinally unavailable than it was to just be alone, be happy with myself. I loved chasing Scorp because it was never ending, I never had to open up to ANYONE EVER because i would just keep Scorp in my mind and of course I never had anything real with Scorp so I left myself in this limbo where I couldn't get hurt, well not really hurt. Like I knew what Scorp was doing, i knew i was being strung along and i knew he didn't want a relationship but I kept pushing anyways because i never had to stop and open up my heart to scorp so he coul dnever really deeply hurt me (like Aries could now). So it was easy for me, I could brush off every other guy and I could just use my Scorp situation as the excuse. It was a way to keep everyone away from my heart...does that make sense?
I mean I still haven't let go of Scorp, I just was hoping that deep down he was a good guy and could respect me and give me friendship without trying to get anything more. But once again (with the last Scorp update I posted) he just keeps trying and trying...so I have to cut him loose for good, he's not a decent human being, he's completely lost his way and has no respect for anyone, a friendship is not even worth it because he'll continue to put my relationship with Aries in jeopardy. So I will let him go, but I'll do it more discreetly, I'll talk to him on through instant messages when he messages me, but I will be making no effort ever to do anything towards him.
Well....a little over two years ago, i transferred jobs. I met this wonderful cancer man. i was in a really bad marriage at the time, which is now over. He was married too. Now he is not. We started a relationship 8 months ago and well...it has been incredible.
I think it works for us b/c I was in a horribly abusive marriage. So, I am leary of commitment, which seems to keep his interest on me and me solely !! lol
I just want to have fun, no responsibility or major commitment. I have yet to tell him I love him, even though I do. And, I do not plan on sharing that anytime soon !! lolHalf the time, i do not even respond to what he says...b/c i am just not ready yet !!
I think I drive him as crazy as he drives me !! lol And, it is not intentional. I just can't go there yet. I ned to heal and learn how to let go of many deep hurts. I tell him this and he tries so hard to encourage me and help me.
he actually sincerely apologized to me for what I went through in my 1st ( and only) marriage. And the weird thing, i knew he meant it. He wants me to depend on him, but I just can't yet. I also told him that I may not ever be able too....he is the opposite of what I have known. Does that make sense ?
One day he was helping me..and well..being a Taurus....it is hard to let people help...what i was doing...sort of made my back ache. He said why did you not let me do it ?/ i said b/c i do not want to depend on anyone again. He said letting me help you is NOT depending on me. And, i just stopped dead in my tracks. It floored me.
My ex always made a big deal of anything I asked...so this is a whole new foreign concept !!
Do you think my cancer guy will have patience with me ?? So far, 8 months and only 2 snags. They only lasted like 2 days. He has never disappeared, like the traits of his sign. Which really confuses me...and..ready for this..his birthday is07/07/1970..how cool is that ??
I could go on and on...but, I think it will all come out here in time !! lol
The love he shows me both in actions, words and physical....overwhelms me.
Hi all, Hi Tarus...
Oh sv, I dunno. My Libra BFF just said the same thing as you did.
I am getting sick to my stomach...
A quick fill you in... Lets use Star Wars shall we?
Ok, let's say you're Princess Lea... and Scorp is Luke Skywalker...
Now Luke fights the dark side right? Luke is Strong, Brave, Fights for whats right and just!
Now Princess Lea is also aggainst the dark side... she's the princess of her planet after all.
so one day Princess Lea and Luke Skywalker break up. While they are broken up she continues to fight the dark side...
Then one day she and Luke after going back and forth... figuring things out... trying to work things out with them...
let's just say that luke askes Princess Lea for help with a friend. But Lea is leery... and kinda fluffs Luke a bit...
What Luke fails to tell Lea is that the friend... is part of the dark side...
and now luke is trying to convince lea that his new friends... the ones he made while they broke up...
well, he's trying to convince Princess Lea that the dark side friends... they're not so bad.
But Princess Lea knows the dark side all to well. She risks her life every single day, five days a week fighting the dark side.
Princess Lea, she's lost people she loves very much to the dark side... she knows that the dark side may look fun and exciting but it's really deadly and dangerous... the dark side hides itself... it comes in many forms... but eventually the dark side can only take a person down two roads... both end in a box... the only difference is one is a living box and one is a dead box.
Princess Lea is scared to death for her Luke... she's not certain if Luke is just talking stupid... or if he's actually walking down the road to the dark side.
Princess Lea sees her luke lost... and it would seem... he does not want to be found... not by Lea... not right now.
She sees disaster for Luke... and his head is stuck so far up his @$S right now chasing a dream gone by of his youth that he does not see the pit he's going to drop into.
I guess maybe princess Lea will meet her Luke on Tuesday and see just how far he's walked... and if she can bring him back.
BUT... she'll have to be prepared to let Luke go...
and she'd devistated at the thought.
See, she always thought in the end... Luke was her guy... she can handle losing him... just not over this crappy BU!1$hi+.
Taurs... I'll read tomorrow night. I'm sorry. My head is all over the place.
Kel... I'm going to really think had about what you just posted to me. I actually printed it out and I am going to hide in my room and read it over.
Thank you for the time kel, I know you're running around.
thanks for doing that.
deep breaths hun. you will be ok. stay with yourself and in the moment. be you . be you . be you. you are gorgeous. be you. did i say be you? lots of love x
i have to go to college then night courses etc so wont be back on for a while. you will be in my thoughts. big empowering hug from me.
ok as i told in the other (old) thread, im copying over all the comments that went on there, after Moon created the new thread.
ADVENTURE>> (i know that since then Adventure posted already here, but i loved what she wrote so had to paste it here!)
hi. ive been asleep. thanks flow.
moon, i havent wanted to offend you, but this is a time of change, my heart is in the right place with this. i know we all talk about astrology here and that is fine, but i am just challenging the situation a bit. so that there is an opportunity for growth. we all take relationships seriously here, that is a given.i have no problem with the title asclac, i just dont think it should stand for addiction anymore. as it is a community i respect others viewpoints, and perhaps moon at this stage we could just start a new page. i dont mind it being asclac 4. i think also given that kel is now with an aries,,so what i am getting at is things have changed and keep changing. it doesnt even need to have my interpretation..it could be something else.it doesnt have to be crying it could be caring.and speculate could be sharing, one of the c words could be crazy! i dunno. i know you want to keep it fun.
My stupid Gemini BFF, I knew this was going to happen! She was dumped by her crab last May, pretty much the same time as I last saw my crab. He dumped her for another girl. She was crying for 2 months, finally started getting over it, and was going to this party where he was going to be there. I told her to be careful, and she told me she was going to go after a Leo guy, but she found out her crab had already broken up with his Aqua girl. She ended up hooking up with him again. He's totally using her, he had completely ignored her for 3 months, even when she tried to be friends with him...he hadn't paid any attention to her untl he broke up with his gf and when he found out she was coming to the party he started sending her flirty texts. I hope she's not going to go through this all over again..
I think it is an addiction..if I weren't "addicted" I think I would have stopped thinking about my crab long ago and moved on.
I had a 'just friends' relationship before the type I have now--and it was only when I said that's what I really wanted that I got it. Not that he necessarily was ready for it, but I wasn't about to sleep with him unless I was in a romantic relationship. 'Just friends' is fine for getting to know each other as individuals, but once you feel you would enjoy more as a couple, there's no point in denying that to yourself or him. If he doesn't want that, it's not that you are not worthy of it--far from it. He may be unprepared to invest himself emotionally in one person. And he has to do the work himself; that's the only way he can be a responsible person in a couples relationship. You have as much right as any 'free love' type to a monogamous relationship. It's a matter of asserting your right to have that for your own needs and wants. Love and respect go hand in hand. Even someone who doesn't want a committed relationship can do that with consideration.
I'm sitting back reading our post and I realised something, "Why TF are we putting ourselves through this B*S"? Look at us, look at me, my life has pretty much come to this? Why isn't he thinking of me, how do I get him back, what games can I play to win his effection, why doesn't he love me, why is he do this and that bla bla bla. I don't mean to sound harsh and I know we are all going through the same thing....................come on people, really are these guys/girls worth all this effort? Love isn't meant to hurt and if these guys/girls really want to be with us they will. We have tried everything, its now time to give ourselves a break.
With Cancers there is a common trait. As I read what others are going through with their Cancers makes me wonder if they are dating G. All our stories are similar. You guys know this. Really, we need to get our lives back, stop putting ourselves through this torment, life is too short. Take a step back, start putting ourselves first and F them.
We are all a good catch and let them chase us. We deserve people who will truely love and respect us and we shouldnt be settling for this drama. Think of the hours we are putting in reading each others post and supporting each other. It's great to have that support but really we need to dumb these losers from our lives. No matter how much we love them and want to be with them, they gotta go.
We could start a new group for all of us who want to dump these guys/girls and start posting positive things to help us move on and to heal ourselves. Initiate the whole NO CONTACT THING. Give it a time frame and lets stick to it. No matter how many text messages or phone call they give us, we dont respond. If these people really do care about us, they will still be there for us at the end of 3 months. If they are not then their is your answer.
What do you think?
Ok found it. Ive tried writing to tarot 5 times asking them totake off a post of mine and they havent done so. Does anyone know what else I can do?
Update.....S a good friend of G who friended me before G and I broke up loves the photographs I took of her for your music. S and I got to send a few days together and she finds it rather sad that things didn't work out for G and I. She is saying that I should contact him but I aint doing that.
She said to me on Friday that she can see how much I really cared for G. She was going to see G on Saturday. She asked me if she could speak to G about me. I asked her not to say anything to him. G now knows that S and I have been in touch and working together on her music project. He sent her a message asking why am I tagging her in photos on FB. She said it wasn't in a nasty way. I first met S 2 months ago and she had no idea G and I were going out. After meeting me, she asked G and she said G gave her a really nice comment (she sense that he liked me). She offered to talk to G for me on Saturday but I asked her not to say anything. If he asks, say Im doing well and keeping busy. If he ask if we talk about him, say that I havent said much and we really do not about him. (which is true, in the months I havent said anything to her about G) She was the one that brough it up.
I'm waiting to hear what she has to report from Saturday. I really think that it is over and I should move on. I can't put myself through this torment anymore. Its stupid.
How are you today? I got a lot going on and on my mind, so I was wondering if your question still stands about the communication on another level. I can’t remember where I wrote that to look it up. If am guessing in part 3. Let me know and I will take time to look for it if it’s still matters to you. Or if you can jug my memory what exactly you and I was talking about.
No singing class this week for me. Teach is on vacay again but this time in Italy. She is gone shoe shopping. What a good life (vacay in foreign land) some people have.
What exactly are you learning from your workshop and how many more do you have to do?
I read that you said you’re lonely and you want a relationship. What are you going to do if this doesn’t work out at all? I know you blew up the other day.
How are you today also? Calmed down? Any sign of life from his side? BTW how was the appointment for your kid? Did they tell you something you can work with?
“From now on... she's simply known as "FIT" aka "Female In Training" “
This made laugh sooo hard...thanks. Much needed here.
That is pretty fugged up about your finances. You must be away for a long time for them to cancel your account. I know in certain countries you have to show your face once in a while to keep your account and/or your pass active. It looks like you got to get over there somehow.
How’s the job hunting going? In what area are you looking? Is S paying you for your time and photography? Sorry...I can be friendly but I am very much business. I hate financial headaches. My ex was terrible with finance always had debts and always “begging” for someone else hard earned cash.
And I hope that other housekeeping matter is also resolved.
I don’t know what’s up with admin. Did you pinpoint exactly what thread, page and post as in day and time? Perhaps they need it detailed to do so....I don’t know..I am just guessing here.
“ Love isn't meant to hurt and if these guys/girls really want to be with us they will. We have tried everything, its now time to give ourselves a break “
I agree that it isn’t meant to hurt but each contact you have with someone who has capture your heart for good or bad is to grow as a person. It all depends on your mentality and your stamina how much something of the kind will affect you in a positive or negative way. Yet the bottom line is growth. Look at your previous relationships and dates ...haven’t they contributed in some way of how you act and think about life and more?
“but really we need to dumb these losers from our lives.“
I am sorry...I am responding for myself on this one. I don’t have a loser in my life that needs dumping. My Libra is a human being just as you with his flaws and better points. Which I respect even though we are not communicating anymore.
“No matter how many text messages or phone call they give us, we dont respond. If these people really do care about us, they will still be there for us at the end of 3 months. If they are not then their is your answer.
What do you think?“
I am ahead of you....lol. Thanks girl.
Happy to hear that your arm is much better after the op. What happen?
"i told him that i was hurt that he didnt seem to care that i was sick."
"and he said why didnt i ring him."
Yes..why didn’t you?
" i said i am not like that."
You can’t read his mind….neither can he.
"all he had to say was sorry."
Now you’re asking/expecting for something that you know you are not going to get.
“i dont mind the drop in occaisionally but not all the time.”
Did you tell him in an orderly way?
“ it makes me feel if i am not here then he will look elsewhere”
Oh really? Didn’t he go by his mother the other night? He is in no shape to look for any other woman. He would probably stay on his own like he has the last couple of months.
“again he was waitng for me to contact him eve though i was the last to do that on tues.”
You still don’t get it don’t you? You set the rules last time. When you two were seperate all that time. You just said you don’t like the unannounced drop in. You probably said something about that or let him feel something about it before this discussion so he is a bit confused where the bounderies are.
“What are the bounderies Adventure? Have you two discussed them? Is there an agreement about this? I would be uncertain too.”
Without getting into too much details I am also clueless as what Libra’s bounderies are about certain area’s of his life. Because in spoken and unspoken ways he made certain things clear.
So when he changes his mind I have no idea when that happens until he complains about it.
Example…when I stopped texting …he complained slightly about it. Or like when I used to call during the day….he complained and semi gave me the okay to call late at night. Understand?
“honestly i feel like im back in primary school”
Probably goes for him too.
“turning off his phone is so childish. its like ill get you back ill show you.“
LOL…you are too much. No that is not to show you anything that is what people that doesn’t want to continue whatever happen before. Like simply not in the mood for it. Or could be damage control. Not leaving the option open for more ……..
“ he is sulking.pathetic. whatever “
shakes head And you was doing the same thing.
“ i said it was "hanging in there" does that sound like its better to you? doesnt to me. “
Look. We woman communicate differently. Hanging in there means to us…I am not feeling good and it’s probably going to get better or worse. To them is like…oh nothing serious I am still tapdancing, serving and scrubbing at the same time….thanks for asking.
“he just keeps baffling me “
And this surpises me of you. How long do you “know” this man. It is sounding to me like you don’t. Not really. I am getting convinced that its visa versa.
“maybe my expectations are too high “
I don’t think they are. Just you are in a hurry and he isn’t that fast and probably will never be. At least not on the pace YOU will want him to be.
“which things are possible to compromise on and which arent?? “
You want instant gratification but this isn’t going to happen. Look at Katie’s mood..she also wants it but isn’t going to get it for now.
I beginning to believe that he is capable to do all this but just doesn’t feel comfortable with what he calls the hot and cold. Whatever he means with that. So this is KEY.
“ you know i said to him how him leaving , walking out, hanging up doent help the situation when he does that, and i said this to him in a very nice tone. so he knows. but continues to do it!“
So he knows..good. Now you from now on stop using the phrase…its not helping the situation. What situation are we talkin gabout?
I haven’t read anywhere that you two are in a relationship again. I haven’t read that you two decided to give any aspect of friendship a try. I haven’t heard any of that…perhaps I misse dit somewhere.
So basically you both are claiming things from each other that isn’t really in order.
What is it that you two are doing? Really doing?
Look I did this to show you something what the patterns are here. I am not taking sides because I don’t know the intensity when you two are at it.
Hmm....I just read that you answered most of my questions but I am still posting to let you know what my thoughts are with this.
Flow>> hey! good morning! what do you mean you are ahead of me?