ASCLAC part 4
oh if anyone else wants to help with my Pisces guy issue, please do!
also, my Gem guy invited me to two of his friend's house parties over the weekend. he text me TWICE about it. so I said yes, but when I asked him about it on Friday morning, he completely avoided the subject or he would immediately talk about something else. So the entire weekend, I just let it be and made alternate plans. I kind of gave him the cold shoulder because he would tell me he was going to the party but never asked me if I wanted to go.
Friday, I went out with my Aqua girlfriend and we ha dinner then she came home to help me pack. he called an HOUR before he was going to some poetry reading and was like "hey! how's it goin??"...I'm sorry, but I won't be your last minute date and/or go to person because you can't find anyone else. maybe that wasn't the case, but I'm not a big fan of last minute plans. if you want to be with me or spend time with me, then ASK me ahead of time. don't sit there an hour before and ask me to meet you somewhere. ugh...I didn't really talk to him the rest of the weekend. I text him once to see how he was, he replied and that was the end of it.
why would you ask someone out and then completely avoid it when it's brought back up?
SV>> hey. if i remember good you told Gemini guy that you are dating another person (Pisces) too. did you tell the same to Pisces too?
Cant it be that both of them told they are fine with it... but meanwhile they are not?
what i mean to say is that they might not take you so serious anymore, cause you are not exclusive with them.
SV - I think katie could be right, but, I also think all men want a woman to ooohhh and aahhh over them. really i do. When we do not do that, it throws them off balance. Then they tend to not be as confident and they hate rejection.
Then throw a strong, gorgeous, confident woman in the mix, who loves to have fun and well..you have one confused man !
Taurus> LOL for that comment "you have one confused man" i agree.
I'm having communication issues with Pisces...I dont know what he wants or where he wants things to go. I told him I'm confused by our situation and he said he only gives what he gets. I told him "i'm sorry, I know I can be guarded and not give a lot...tell me what you need from me and we'll work on it"...he said he wanted to talk face to face. I haven't had a chance to tell him I'm dating anyone else cause we haven't seen eachother in forever and the one night we did, we went to the fair. that's not necessarily the best place to "talk"
I asked my Gem guy 3 times what his plans were for the weekend and to lemme know what's up so I can plan to see him and hang out with him at his friend's party. he avoided me and ignored me. that, to me, is like a slap in the face. it's pretty much teling me that he accidentally slipped and invited me to a party, but now can't bring me so he's avoiding the subject. so I avoided him...
Friday night I was with a friend when he called and invited me out to the poetry reading. I'm not just going to drop her to be with him. that's not fair to her, is it? I would have felt horrible to do that to her.
thank you, Taurus, for the compliment!!!
I'm trying to BE stronger...you weren't here when I was at my worst...my lowest...the guys here on this thread have brought me through my darkest times, and you have helped me so much with understanding my Pisces much better on the inside...I only wish he would let me in...
Sometimes YOU have to make the first move, you're uncomfortable letting him in because he wont let you in
But this is a bit selfish, you're expecting HIM to open up first, why can't you do it?
Think about it from his perspective and try to figure out what it is he's looking for rather than just blindly leave the ball in his court. Try opening up to him and see how he handles it, see if his behavior changes, and if it changes for hte worse, kick him to the curb!
I'm a bit busy at work right now but I'll get back to the Gem issue, your water is showing my dear i get the same exact way so youre in good company lol. Sometimes you just have to let things slide...its the hardest thing for us water folk to do...
Hi all! Sorry I've not been around lately but I had to get my head on straight.
THE SWITCH FINALLY WENT OFF!!!!!!!
Ok, all this is how I did it. I faced the facts which us crabs-- at least this one ..lol.. HATES to do. I made a list of all the good and bad things about scorp.
Then I started to write a story about me.... and my divorce... and meeting him.... and just things in general.
It wasn't real. It was all in my head. I'm FINALLY there!!!!!
Please all give me a HUGE congrats as i think... this moose deserves one!
I AM A MOOSE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! YAY! YAY!
Finally, that was a long time! I think The longest ever in my life, I realize it was not letting go of the Scorp, it was letting go of my marriage, my house mess, everything.
When my house mess was settled this week (I lost but it's ok). I realized that by holing on to something not real with him was protecting/preventing me from moving on to something I was not ready to do. I am now.
I bet everybody around me feels better too. My exhusband because I have let him out of limbo( i didn't realize he was there, but I had him in it). The scorp because I don't like him "that" way anymore and i'll be able to be a normal person if I communicate ever again with him(Highly unlikely as our lives are SO seperate)... my friends because this house mess was keeping me SO stagnant (I've been a real bitch these past two years).
Ahhhh, Thanks all.
So, can somebody fill me in? ...lol... I'm so lost.
she's ALIVEE!!! YAYY!!!!! (yes, Moon, I meant you)
Thanks SV, yes, alive and well. Did I "friend" you on FB and if I did tell me on FB who you are ..lol..
I am so embarassed about how silly I looked getting all upset over something like this. Scorp must think I am a nut ..lol.. I don't care.
It all happened last week. I told him I couldn't be friends and went on to explain why... then I thought about it for like 3 straight days and I was like "Moon, are you nuts? You want a man who does not want you, WTF? Girl, get your shit together please"
And I did. ..lol.. OMG that was such a looooooooong funk. Can't make somebody like me, but I can choose to cry over it or suck it up and say...."ok, he does not like me, somebody else wiil"
..lol... I'm a dork sometimes ..lol... but at least I was honest in my feelings. That's gotta count for something with Karma I think. I hope? ...lol...
I think your Pisces guy misunderstood your reaction to his statement as 'interpreting it before asking him what it meant to him'. It's a guy ego thing, and neurotic; he tried to cover up that insecurity with the 'easygoing' image and pretty much backed off to avoid being more direct about that. That's not fair, because you deserve at least an example of how you can meet his need for that in order for things to go more smoothly between the two of you. My advice would be to let him experience his "space" until he gets lonely enough to come back to you. Then you will at least be prepared to ask for an example or tell him what you need to want to stay in a relationship with him. "Without relating, there is no 'relationship'".
Today I am enjoying my free time before anything happens this week with my guy. Of course, some of the things he is used to 'just doing' crop up in my mind but I am learning how to assert myself more as well. He texted happy messages to me during his lunch break the other day; he is actually really interested in the "intimacy issues from the past" workshop as I was, despite a possible fee, so it seems hopeful. I just hope it isn't about 'let's see how I can turn this workshop around on her!' because that sort of attitude ("misery loves company") has happened in the past. Or some idealistic notion that going to the workshop will 'magically change' me for him...My family is pretty stable, but my mother is a strong woman and he never liked his own mother's strength, or even the fact that she divorced his abusive, philandering father. When I first met him, he seemed excited about my lively intellect and confident personality, but later on admitted (and this is really later!!) my confidence made him fear I'd find someone else to 'be nice to' and that was why he started trying to undermine my efforts to have a healthy, happy relationship with him.
I sure hope my Scorpio doesn't try to sneak in a "let's go to a strip club" in the city where I live tomorrow when the sole purpose of this date is to go to that workshop. That's sort of 'putting the cart before the horse' and it wouldn't help me believe he is willing to work at my pace on stuff like this, especially if the other workshop is about learning how to negotiate about issues like that! I'd bring that up as just common sense for the long-term, and at least I 'visited' two of these places so it's not like I 'need' to prove anything to him about how "cool'' I am about that. But if he wants to go by himself, he really will be 'on his own'!! It's bad enough when he is consistently late, canceling on a dime. doesn't let me know about things beforehand--and doesn't want to hear about it. I will just tell him "I thought this was about the workshop; this can wait until the other workshop shows how to deal with stuff like that. But if you 'can't wait' then I can't afford to be with someone who wants instant gratification more than help in that area for me...Sorry!"
Nice to have people back, this thread had gotten a bit slow...where is stranger??
MOON!!! Missed you!!! I'm not sure if I understand what is going on with you..you did some analysis on scorp?
Katie, so this cappy is also emotionally closed? maybe that's a man problem and not a sign problem..but if we are attracted to problematic people over and over again, that means there's something we need to look at inside ourselves...I think if we don't we will keep attracting the same types..no matter what sign. So maybe we should stop analyzing the other person and start analyzing ourselves..
SV, so you are having problems with both your guys? As far as Gemini ignoring you and then asking you out right before, I think you did the right thing by not canceling your plans. I'm re-reading the book "Why men love bi*tches" Where Moon gets the Moose story from. They say that if a guy hasn't asked you out for Friday by Wednesday then make your own plans and don't ever accept a last minute invite. You have to let them know that you aren't waiting around for tem and have many things to do. It's not good to be too available.
I did that to the pilot. He asked me out for the same night and I told him I needed more notice. He disappeared for a few days then asked me out again. Now he's gone again, haha must be a cancer.
I went out with te Gemini Romanian guy. We had a nice time, nice talks..that was Saturday night and he hasn't contacted me since then. I wasn't all that into him but I guess it's my Leo pride, maybe he lost interest, not sure, but still wish he would have at least texted or messaged me by now. I told him I was going to Manila on Friday. He said "I'll talk to you before then". Oh well if not I'll let it go. He was just interesting. The third guy who messaged me every day also stopped... I wonder if these guys just lose interest after awhile. I'm new at this so I'll just keep doing it.
Wow, I'm going to see crab again..it's been so long!!
Moon- So according to the Moose rule, if a guy doesn't call/text/email after a date you don't contact them right? Just let it go?
I almost thought the book was called "Why Men Love Itches!!" <lol>...reminds me of those baseball players who can't seem to stop 'scratching' themselves on the field!! I agree it's crucial to be aware of how guys' mind can work...my first ex was infatuated with a woman who wouldn't give him the time of day (and told me "Men's brains are in their crotch!"); he know has a girlfriend who is barges into his place anytime she feels like it, dates 10 men as well, and basically expects men to wine and dine her without giving anything except her company back!! I've also noticed that 'macho' men love "dominitrix" fantasies...go figure!</lol>
"why men love itches " Hahahaha....
As for macho en having dominatrix fantasies it totally makes sense to me. It's about the balancing of masculine and feminine energies. I went out with a guy who was normal at first then when he got into politics he started getting kinky, wanted me to wear black, boots and "punish" him . It wasn't even sex, just wanted me to humiliate him. He explained it to me that because in his political life he was emitting a lot of masculine energy and in being a position of power, and somehow the submission thing was a way to balance it. I couldn't get into it and I broke up with him, haha..I was balanced..
I think men who love control fantasize about giving up control lol It's a strange dichotomy
I talked to crab again..now he's saying he's trying to get vacation and he's going to come visit me for 3 or 4 days in addition to going to Brazil..yeah I heard that story before..I let it go in one ear and out the other. He says he got a lot of things to give me..hmm. Crab and his cute little presents..