ASCLAC part 4
Just a quick response until my client comes in ...
MariaRia & Lua -
"And the not keeping in touch thing..any woman would assume he wasn't interested..you would think a man would keep in touch if they were interested..but I'm getting the feeling that cancer guys are an exception"
I"m not so sure...I think Cancer guys want you to think that they're the exception, but I'm not so sure it's true. I think that, yes Cancer guys are slower and have no concept of time and aren't necessarily as forward, but we still do chase
We just don't chase forever...
Thinking back to my Scorpio situation, when I met him, I liked him and I pursued. He kept telling me no he wasn't ready for a relationship, and even though he told me that I still pursued, eventually he kept me at such arm's length that I gave up and left the ball in his court, then eventualyl moved on...but Maria, I'm not sure how into you your crab is...it sounds like whenever he contacts you, you're receptive to him and you've even initiated a few convos yourself and he isn't responsive...so I dont know...a month is a long time of no contact...
I think (and I know SV will agree here) when a guy tells you he's not ready or looking for a relationship, you have to believe him. Take him at his word. ANd if it does turn out he wants one, make him work for it since hey he was the one who said "i dont want a relationship"
hey all, just a few quick things...I know I'm being terrible with catching up with you guys...thigns are just in MAJOR fast forward for me right now...
some are good things, and some are bad...I haven't had time to sit back and think or have me time lately, and I have a feeling I might implode if I dont do so soon...kinda scary...lol
Kel - I agree with what you said above
Lua - I would listen to him...Lua, you know how I feel about your crab...he's so wishy washy and it's just so irritating to me. I dont know what's going on with your online dating or the other guys, but it's time to get away from crab. hoenstly, I dont think about mine too often anymore...he's still definitely in my heart...thought about him earlier today...but with my Pisces and Gemini guy it's easier...I dont have to chase or feel like I have to say the perfect thing for him to PAY ATTENTION TO ME...if he wants you, he will make sure he has you.
MariaRia - is this the same crab you've been dealing with for a while now? I think I remember you telling us/me about your situation on another thread. nice to hear from you again! please see what I wrote to Lua above. and Kel is a great person to ask questions to. he's really good with giving a male crab perspective on issues.
WHERE IS MOON?!!??!
oh and hello cuspglyph,lolpet,shorty, Katie, stranger, Taurus! I don't think I missed anyone, but IFFFF I did, I still love you very much!
I'm doing nothing tonight, so I'm going to sit with my laptop and catch up!
I went out with the Romanian guy. He was nice, very intelligent, a bit difficult to understand his english sometimes because he's soft spoken and has a Romanian accent..he's sweet, very gentle energy which I was suprised because in his picture he kind of looks like a bad boy type, hahaha. He brought me Belguim chocolates!! I didn't ask his birthday..forgot..but I had a nice time.
SV-I'm starting to feel more neutral toward my crab, he is wishy washy, lol that's funny he is irritating you! I'm going to see him in Manila because he's going to be there the same time as me and I already told him I would but I don't even really care any more...I have to think more about making myself happy. If crab wants to be with me he's going to have to beg, haha.
My online datiing is going a lot better. Nothing really solid yet but the last two dates were definitely better than boring guy...Definitely better than staying at home waiting for crab to email me..yeah, it's time to move on. Tired of him..
Congrats; sometimes 'keeping moving' is the key to renewed energy for happiness...good luck!!
We got engaged in December of last year; up until then he was really wishy-washy and evasive about involving himself deeply in a relationship with me, except for the sex <lol>...he is now being more honest with me about the process that led to this state, and his committment to our relationship future-wise...it's not easy for a Scorpio guy to open up this way. I'm glad he is being less defensive about that.</lol>
Uh-oh...now some New Age loony did a "Like" to his post on a FB page that all but disappeared (and her included). My guy deleted the 'recent activity' on those posts, so I don't know what that's about. He's the kind to "Like" anyone who "Likes" what he posts (because that's so rare) and she advertises herself as 'Angelic Goddess Looking for my Beloved..." UGH!!! So I got wise and looked up her site, 'signed up', and will send her something about her doing this on my FIANCE'S post on that FB page. That's all she needs to know if he can't bring that up himself (he's passive that way).
kelcrab -Honestly, it sure seems he isn't into me, doesnt it? The only thing that keeps me curious is tarot card readings. I've gotten QUITE a number of them telling me how much he cares about me. Several people have said I'm the 'light of his life', which is insane considering how he treats me. They're really the only things keeping me going, otherwise I honestly would have moved on a LONG time ago. So, maybe I should just stop and move on anyway LOL! But yah. I see what your saying. So, basically the advice is to just leave him be and if he likes me he'll make the effort? I understand he has a lot to work through, he doesn't want to be in a relationship, etc, so technically I have to leave him alone anyway. But it does hurt me to see he isn't making an effort to keep in touch at all, even as friends. We've known each other over two years now.
ScorpVirgo - Yes, it is. Sigh. LOL. But, now that I don't work with him anymore, it's going to be a lot easier to move on from him if that's what needs to happen. It would be really sad if everything we went through went to waste, but whatever. I havent really chased him in a long time, because I'm done with that. Our relationship actually got a lot better once I totally stopped focusing on him at all and just did my own thing. Though, like I said to kelcrab, the tarot cards really confuse me...they tell me he's hurtning now and he's confused about us. I asked why he hasn't kept in touch and they said because he's really freaking out about the whole thing...so, I think maybe he just needs to be left alone to sort his stuff out.
Mariaria, it's good that you started focusing on your own life..whether things work out with your crab or not. I went to see my crab in may and he told me the same thing, about not wanting to be in a relationship and how was going into depression and needed space, so I left him alone and 4 months later he asks me to call and now wants to see me..that tells me crabs are slow working things out..he did keep in touch with me sending me emails and even gifts..but I left him alone and went on with my life..now that he wants to see me I don't really care any more..
He may need to be left alone to sort his stuff out but are you willing to wait that long? I just got so tired of having to go by HIS sense of time...in my case he needed 4-5 months to sort things out but that was just too long for me..it took him 13 years to tell me I really hurt him..he's wasting my time..
Lua - Hahaha, good for you!! Honestly, I see myself waiting another month, and then totally moving on all together. GOD, it feels so good to have this freedom from him. It was actually impossible to forget about him when I saw him all the time at work. But now....? How easy is it to forget about someone you never see, and who never talks to you? EASY! LOL. But....it gives me a little hope that, yes, he will come to me if and when he is ever ready, if that is his problem. But, like what happened with you, if he does that he's going to have to live with the risk that I wont be around when he decides he's ready.
Girl, if you're done with him, good for you. I'm 100 % sure you can find someone who will give you a FRACTION of the headache. But, at least he kept in contact with you. Mine hasnt even done that yet, LOL!
I managed to finally get on the website Miss New Age was on...it wasn't easy, some computer glitch kept throwing me off until I got an e-mail that said I was 'approved'. Well, I posted a comment on her page that was civil but clear about my place in this "Like" exchange. I don't like to make enemies if there's something that hasn't been made clear; it's not her fault if she didn't know that. But--'looking for my Beloved...' with comments on how to 'win' and worship her on the beach with special herb tea and rituals...keep in mind my guy goes back and forth with the masochism thing and women...from the "friend" of unrequited love and the 'adventurous ex' he felt deserved his self-sacrifice...to the extreme of 22 years...it's hard to tell whether this man even knows why he does what he does...and 'needs' validation from "women" so much.
yes, it's easier when you don't see him, seeing him at work probably was hard. In my case he lives in HK that's 2000 miles away so I wasn't going to even run into him by chance. It was irritating though, because when I decided to ignore him and leave him be he started sending me emails daily. Short messages of what he was doing, pictures of food he was eating, links to jokes and funny videos, just to remind me of him..he "needs space" but he wants to remind me of him!! Then when I was tweeting my girlfriends pics of hot soccer players during World cup he starts tweeting me about the games just to get attention. How immature is that? But this was the longest time I haven't seen him and when I started dating other guys I realized that he's not the only guy in the world, and some guys actually act happy to see you, text or call with frequency, etc when they are interested. In fact that is normal and the way crabs act is just..."crabean" as Katie would say..sometimes I feel like they are from another planet, not even a country that has completely different social customs and values, I've dated men from many different countries and cultures and although some customs are different, when they are interested they call you, text you contact you!!! I've just been so stuck emotionally on him and I closed myself to dating or even getting to know other men. I haven't found anyone I am really interested in yet but I am learning that there's more to life than waiting for a crab!!
Glad to hear vacay was great. Did you move already?
Gosh you have a long story with your crab too. I dont remember all the details, but i do remember you were already on the thread when i came and that was beginning of the year (January).
I hope you can get over him soon, in case that is really what you want!
Anyways, welcome in the thread!
Yeah, Hungarians and Romanians do hate each other, at least as nations. That of course does not mean that all of us are like that. i personally have no problem with any of them. They never done anything to me. Basically it is about a territory TRANSYLVANIA which belonged to Hungary before the first World War and since we lost and the Romanians were on the winning side, in the Trianon (Paris) peace treaty they simply moved the boared lines and whole TRANSYLVANIA became a part of Romania. Still today a lot of Hungarians live there and they are not treated exactly nice being a minority. The same happened toward Slovakia and the former Yugoslavian countries, i mean they got parts of our land.
„I know I can't do anything with this... but I don't feel like there's anything wrong with that as long as I don't fall for him...”
From this a funny thing comes in to my mind that fits i think. I was talking to a friend about the Cappy guy. And i told that anyways, i will just keep myself away cause of the circumstances and all. And she said to me: „Gosh, how can you be so calculated in advance, when nothing happened yet?” and i told her: „sure, but i was not calculated with crab either, though i somehow knew nothing good will come out of it. And when i was already in it deep with my emotions, it was too late. Now i wanna avoid that.”
So yes, sure it is not a problem until you don’t fall for him... but when you do, it immediately becomes a problem. Anyways, i’m glad you had a nice time with him. Will you meet again?
For your question, the Cappy is a definite GOOD buzz. He is kind of my elementary school sweetheart. We never got together, always bad circumstances, but for that, this „yet not happened” feeling is there, you know the curiosity, the „what if” and all... we’ll see.
Hi Cuspglyph! Thank you very much in advance for your “analysis”, im really interested.
Hi from everyone else too! i hope you guys who are absent know we still think of you! that goes for Lolpet, Adventure and Flow! we miss you all! oh and Shorty! (but i talk to her on FB
Hi Moonie! hope you are doing fine too and we hear from you soon!
Lost power all morning in my office building when it finally came back on had to rush and finish up all my work.
Throwing a surprise birthday party this saturday for my good friend Libra-girl at my hosue so spending tonight cleaning like a crazy man, then spending tomorrow night at Aries's place
Sorry I'll be in and out busyyyyy
Hey all !! All of us have so much going on right now !! That is a good thing !! means we are embracing life and hopefully living it to it's fullest !!
I wanted to share a little about finding my Bio dad. Well, very long back story made short, I had only seen him one time, when I was 1 yo. I knew his name, but, since I was born in 1968, the times were so different back then. We live in Indiana, he in California. He was in college, my mom still in HS....they just did not stay in contact.
So, I find him, I send him an email, telling him who i am, I think you are my bio dad..i am not looking for anything really, except maybe closure...b/c i could not open myself up to possible rejection again. I left my cell #, and basically told him, ball in your court, I will not contact you again.
Well, a week later, he calls me !! Ya....waaayy unexpected. Since then, he confirmed he is my dad and we have been talking on the phone getting to know each other. it is going really well. We have agreed to meet. I am looking forward to that. Just taking things slow.
Just wanted to share with all of you. thanks for being so cool guys and gals !!
Taurus, I got tears in my eyes reading your story about your bio dad. I am so glad he called you and you are establishing contact and a relationship, even after 42 years..I'm so glad you found him before it was too late..you still have time to get to know eachother. I'm crying now imagining this, haha I get sentimental with stories like this. Sometimes I watch those shows on TV where there is a long lost reunion and I see the people hugging and I cry..I get so touched by things like this.. So happy for you.
Katie, so what is the problem with the cappy if it is a good buzz? In my case with the Romanian guy it's a problem if I fall for him because he is going back to Romania but in your case why is there a problem? With my crab I didn't fall for him right away, and I only fell for him because he seemed like he really liked me, back then I didn't know about crabs and how they can be hot and cold and then disappear after several months of acting hot and heavy with me. I also thought he was really into me because he told me he was thinking about me for 13 years. In my reality if someone likes you for 13 years they do not suddenly disappear...in my reality men who really like me give me attention, contact me and show they like me, and the men who weren't into me would disappear but disappear for good. Not this hot and cold disappear and reappear crab thing..but that was pre-crab thinking..
I don't think I will fall for the Romanian guy. I am seeing him this weekend, he likes the beach so we might go to the beach on Saturday, maybe have dinner after. I am good at keeping my heart guarded. I kind of wish I could fall for someone else because then I will be able to get over crab completely, but I won't with the Romanian guy because I know he is leaving and Romania is far far away.
haha!!! a friend sent me this:
Pisces are compassionate, sympathetic, and loving.
Aquarius are creative, challenging, and entertaining.
Capricorns are passionate, deep lovers.
Sagittarius needs mutual honesty in a relationship.
Scorpio has a dark, mysterious sex appeal.
Libra is the pickiest of lovers.
Virgo prefer to release their stress through sex.
Leo is one wild bedroom freak
Cancer needs a romantic partner who can accept their moodiness.
Gemini women are the most sexually intriguing of the signs.
Taurus loves full body contact during sex.
What an Aries wants, an Aries gets.
Pisces Favorite Sexual Position: anything involving pleasing the partner, even if it brings tears, for pain is pleasure
Aquarius Favorite Position: mutual masturbation over phone, cam or in person.
Sagittarius Favorite Position: Aggressive, dominate positions that spark passion like doggy
Scorpio Favorite Position: They're up for anything, anywhere, anytime.
Libra Favorite Sex Position: A Libra will do anything in any position to make you orgasm. They are nice like that.
Virgo Favorite Sexual Position: Anything with eye contact. So doing doggy with mirrors is Ok.
LEO Favorite Position: Anything oral. Leo's like to be serviced with a smile.
Cancer Favorite Position: go slow with them while they're on their back or enter slowly from behind
Gemini Favorite Position: 69 because they like to give and receive
Taurus Favorite Position: missionary because it's romantic. They love to look into the eyes.
Aries Favorite Sexual Position: anything involving partner submitting, whether it's their ass up or underneath. Aries likes to Dominate.
Kel! LOL you left out Cappy's fav position!!!!!
i can say Aqua is not true for me at all, then rathe the Virgo. Crab and Sagg i can comfirm according to my experience. LOL
Cap wasn't included in the email that my friend sent
Cancer's isn't fully accurate lol it depends on our moods...but I also have Mars in Scorpio which makes me a bit more extreme than other Cancers lol